Tuk, tuk. Feeling inexplicably upset, I tapped the teacup in front of me with my finger. I wasn’t in the mood to drink the flower tea I usually enjoyed so much.

The thought of Carl being with another woman kept making me feel worse. Not knowing why I felt bad made me even more displeased.

Suddenly, I remembered the picture book we received during that torturous sex education class, supposedly an educational text. Why was I thinking of those images now? Was it because I was imagining Celeste and Carl doing those things?

They say too much imagination becomes poison. Though I tried not to think about it, I kept imagining Celeste and Carl together. Caressing each other’s faces, those hands roaming over necks, shoulders, pulling down clothes…

“You really don’t remember anything about the moments you spent together?”

“Not at all. It’s as if that moment was cut out and removed from my memory, I have no recollection whatsoever.”

Hearing that he remembered nothing made me feel a bit better, but there was still something unsettling and unpleasant lingering in a corner of my mind.

It wasn’t until much later that I was able to understand what this unpleasant feeling I experienced then was.

Jealousy.

I was jealous of myself, of the former Celeste, who had spent a night with Carl. But oddly enough, I didn’t realize why I felt jealous until much, much later.

Two weeks had passed. Just when I wondered when the mourning period would end, suddenly two weeks had gone by, meaning a month had passed since the state funeral ended. The legally mandated mourning period was now over.

After we talked about that night two years ago, Carl visited the Count’s residence several more times. Meanwhile, in the capital, our marriage was already considered a fait accompli, with an atmosphere of anticipation for when the ceremony would be held permeating everywhere.

“Count. The weather is truly lovely today.”

Today was a very special day. It was my first outing after a month of what felt like house arrest, though it wasn’t really.

After Franz’s visit and my sudden illness, I had endured a life of seclusion, avoiding all outings and staying only within the mansion. That period of endurance was finally over. As the day to finally step outside the mansion arrived, I was extremely excited from the morning.

And I wasn’t the only one thrilled about going out after so long. Though they didn’t show it openly, Hannah, Kendrick, and Liv also seemed quite excited.

“It’s been such a long time since we’ve gone out, even the weather seems to be helping us.”

Chatter, chatter. Liv’s chattering continued until we got in and out of the carriage. It was clear how excited she was.

While appropriately keeping up with her, I eagerly observed the view outside the window. Perhaps because it had been so long since I’d been out, I didn’t want to miss any of the outside scenery.

In fact, though I had freely gone out in Urentum, I had rarely wandered around outside since returning to the capital, so sightseeing was almost like a first for me.

“Boo, boo.”

But the person most excited about the outdoor view was actually someone else.

“Booa, boobu.”

“Our lady Valerie, are you excited?”

Cradled in Liv’s arms, Valerie began to wave her arms enthusiastically. Her already large eyes seemed even bigger than usual, reflecting the outside scenery.

With flushed cheeks and eyes darting here and there, she looked so adorable. The three adults watching Valerie’s behavior were in a frenzy.

Liv holding Valerie, Cecil beside her, and me across from them – the three of us took turns gushing, “How can this floral lace suit her so well?”, “This pink fabric complements her fair skin so perfectly”, “I can’t tell what’s a flower and what’s Valerie”. We were all truly in love with this little hedgehog.

But objectively speaking, Valerie was indeed an overwhelmingly lovable baby. I wondered who she took after to be so adorable.

Surely this level of doting is only natural when seeing such a cute child. If someone could react calmly to Valerie surrounded by lace, that person must be a sociopath. With such an exaggerated thought, I continued to coo and soothe Valerie.

“Maam. Mom. Mommama.”

Valerie’s outfit today was a collaboration between Liv and Cecil. They had persuaded and coaxed a designer who normally didn’t make children’s dresses from the most popular atelier on Kelleber Street, and finally had Valerie’s dress custom-made.

I had worried that since babies grow so quickly, we should have ordered a slightly larger size, but that was an unnecessary concern. I had momentarily forgotten what kind of family the Louisette family was.

A family of the Empire’s wealthiest, with more than enough money to spare. Born as the heir to the Louisette County, Valerie had no need to live frugally.

Perhaps Cecil and Margaret had already had several dresses made in anticipation of all the stages of Valerie’s growth. Saying that clothes that fit perfectly at each stage were the prettiest.

When they brought three dresses for Valerie, I couldn’t close my mouth. My goodness, how could there be so much lace on these dresses? And with flower decorations made of colorfully dyed fabrics, dresses and hats matched by color, and even ribbons…

I thought it might be too much, but the moment I saw Valerie wearing it, all those worries vanished into thin air.

Our daughter is the best. That was the first exclamation I uttered upon seeing Valerie in her dress. My daughter is the best.

With the flower decorations and the lace-trimmed hat completing her outfit, Valerie looked like a living doll.

I can’t be the only one to see this pretty sight. I thought it would be a real waste of resources to hide such beauty inside the house without showing it off.

Neighbors, please look at how pretty my daughter is. With that feeling, I set out with Valerie.

The atmosphere inside the carriage was incredibly cheerful. The positive effect of having a child was quite impactful. Of course, having a baby doubles the difficulties, but the happiness and lovability that a child brings are returned many times over.

I heard somewhere that raising a child is a series of terrible, painful, gloomy, and distressing moments, but a single moment of great joy makes you forget all those difficult times for a moment. It really wasn’t wrong.

Although there were several maids attending to the child, I tried to take care of Valerie myself as much as possible, simply because I was her mother.

But contrary to my intentions, my energy would be depleted after just a few hours with Valerie. As days passed, my whole body ached. There wasn’t a place that didn’t hurt.

Come to think of it, I wondered if Celeste had properly recuperated after giving birth to Valerie.

After all, if she gave birth to the child without anyone knowing among all these people, it means she did it secretly in hiding. If so, would she have had the time, mental capacity, or situational leeway to recover properly? Well, it seemed unlikely.

Even her personal attendants didn’t know about Valerie’s existence. How and where Celeste gave birth to the child alone remained a mystery.

As Carl said, it was as if someone had cut out and filled the past two years with a blank, leaving too many unresolved questions. The only certainty was that I would have to ask Celeste directly to know, but since I had become Celeste, that was impossible.

There was virtually no way to find out the details of what happened in the past two years. Unless I happened to encounter Celeste’s memories in a dream while unconscious due to black magic, like last time.

Anyway, even with a body that might not have had proper postpartum care, seeing Valerie smile made all the pain disappear and I couldn’t help but smile too. All memories and feelings of hardship were completely covered. This must be why people have second and third children.

I remembered the saying that one of the greatest blessings God gave to humans was forgetfulness.

“It’s Valerie’s first outing in a month too.”

“That’s right, Count. Look at how big our lady Valerie’s eyes have gotten.”

“Oh my. Even if we set jewels in them, they couldn’t be more brilliant than this.”

As if we were competing to see who could dote more, we were busy adoring Valerie. But what could we do when it was all true? I rationalized to myself that anyone who saw this beautiful baby would say at least this much.

The hat with fluttering lace and the dress were a set. She was still young with short hair, but when we put the pretty hat on her, oh my, she looked like nothing less than a baby angel.

When we first dressed Valerie, who had always worn indoor clothes, in an outdoor dress and brought her out, all the maids of the Count’s house clasped their hands over their mouths and gave melting looks. As if they were melting from Valerie’s cuteness.