Even if Your Regret Holds Me Back (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 12
Five days ago.
It was just like the day he left the Owen estate. Nothing of value had been achieved.
Though holding the position of husband, Eugene Evergale had done nothing but utter words that cast doubt upon that very title.
Yet Ian let out a sigh of relief. Compared to the day he had gone to Higher, this anger was bearable.
Ian pressed his deeply furrowed brow, recalling those five days.
⌜“Looking for Helena? Tsk, what rotten luck to hear that first thing in the morning. That girl died long ago.”⌟
It was unbelievable. Something that should never have even been spoken.
Ian lashed out at each of those crude faces spouting such blatant lies, then swiftly left the Owen estate.
And there, in a corner of the roadside, he found Dion.
“Confess the truth right now! Why did you try to steal our master’s words?”
“I—I’m so sorry! I had no idea it belonged to you, my lord…!”
“Hah! Where did you learn such worthless excuses!”
He was harshly scolding a poorly dressed man. Ian stepped between them and immediately restrained Dion.
“Did I ever give such an order? Since when did ‘discreet’ mean grabbing people by the throat?”
“Your—Your Highness!”
At Ian’s sudden appearance, Dion opened his mouth as if to protest—then gasped in shock.
While he’d only looked away for a moment, his master had returned, covered in fresh wounds. Dried blood still stained his knuckles, forearms below his rolled-up sleeves, and even his cheek.
“What on earth have you done this time…!”
Dion sighed in a hushed, exasperated voice. He spun Ian around and hurriedly pulled a handkerchief from his pocket.
Ian took it and casually wiped his face before replying calmly.
“I merely returned the favor for daring to claim Helena was dead.”
“Then why not just trade words instead of throwing fists!”
“I happen to prefer physical conversation.”
Dion exhaled a sharp, frustrated breath, clearly wanting to argue further. To cut off the impending lecture, Ian jerked his chin toward the man behind Dion.
“So what’s your commotion about?”
The man, who had just been arguing with Dion over money, stood there bewildered.
Dion flushed even redder and grumbled.
“It’s not my fault! This fellow dared try to steal your words—it was outrageously brazen!”
At Dion’s explanation, the man frantically waved his hands.
“No, no, my lord! Had I known it belonged to you, I wouldn’t have touched it! I merely assumed it was theirs since it was right outside this estate, and I—”
“Hold on. So you’re not saying you wouldn’t steal—it sounds like you *would’ve* stolen it if it belonged to the Owens.”
“Y-yes! Exactly!”
“…What?”
Why so shamelessly honest? Was thievery openly accepted around here?
Dion tilted his head, puzzled—though Ian, equally perplexed, beat him to questioning the man.
Initially, the man hesitated, eyeing Ian’s disheveled appearance. But once Dion tossed him a coin, he eagerly spilled the story.
He explained that he’d worked for Viscount Owen’s household as a stable hand for years, but hadn’t received his wages for months and was recently thrown out.
So he’d come back hoping to find something to compensate for his unpaid salary—and spotted a fine-looking horse he tried to take quickly.
Twisting his face in desperation, he cried out in frustration.
“I know stealing isn’t right, my lord, but those people deserve it! Honestly, after practically selling their daughter into marriage with a Grand Ducal house, how deeply must they be sunk in drink and gambling that they can’t even pay their servants? It’s truly—too much, even for a noble family—”
“What did you just say?”
“Huh? That they’ve wasted their fortune on gambling so badly that none of us servants have received our wages…”
“No, before that.”
“You mean… that the Viscount Owen’s daughter was practically sold off into marriage with a Grand Ducal house?”
Married into a Grand Ducal house? Ian pressed urgently.
“Then you’re certain Helena Owen is alive?”
“Of course! I haven’t seen her myself, but given how those brats still live like good-for-nothings, she must be perfectly fine. With their daughter bearing the Evergale name, they’ve got solid backing. It’s been over five years since she married the Grand Duke.”
“…She’s married.”
Ian let out a hollow laugh.
Truly, one mountain after another. Yet it was enough that she was alive and whole. Even if there were a hundred mountains ahead, he’d level them all to reach Helena.
As soon as the informant departed, Ian swiftly mounted his horse.
“Sell this estate, evict them all. While you’re at it, take command of the knights as well.”
Dion’s jaw dropped at the command, delivered as casually as ordering breakfast. He couldn’t believe the overwhelming responsibilities suddenly dumped on him.
He lunged forward, grabbing the reins of Ian’s horse.
“You can’t seriously be going all the way to Evergale—or wherever! She’s not some minor noblewoman; she’s married to a Grand Duke and living well! What business do we have interfering!”
“That’s none of your concern.”
“This is obsession, my lord!”
Instead of replying, Ian kicked Dion’s hand off the reins.
Dion yelped in exaggerated pain and let go—but it wasn’t entirely feigned; Ian, struck at a raw nerve, had unconsciously used more force.
Perhaps Dion was right—it *was* obsession.
An obsession that the one who saved his childhood must be happy.
An obsession that demanded he see her with his own eyes.
‘Even so, I want her to know I exist.’
Before Dion could block his path again, Ian spurred his horse forward. A thick cloud of dust rose behind him as he galloped away.
And so he arrived at Evergale.
He didn’t find her there either—and met only arrogant fools who refused to lower their heads—but it didn’t matter. Hope, which had long been absent, now surged stronger than ever.
Helena’s whereabouts were finally within reach. Her being alive was now certain. If so, they would meet again.
He would find her—this woman whose husband and family had vanished without a trace.
[This is the timeline separator]“Round and round we go… At this rate, we’ll circle the whole continent.”
Evergale Grand Ducal Mansion had been the destination he’d believed beyond doubt to be the final stop.
Yet even this proved futile, and Dion let out deep, weary sighs as he watered his horse. Both he and the animal were exhausted from the unexpectedly prolonged journey.
Just then, the very person responsible for this fatigue approached from afar. Ian had stepped out to a nearby shop right after leaving the mansion, claiming he had something to verify.
Dion hurried to his side and whispered urgently.
“Your Highness… We’re heading back to our cozy, warm homeland now, right? Right?”
“…….”
“…Your Highness? Why won’t you answer your loyal, anxious servant? Your most noble, pure-hearted s—ahem. Your benefactor has been someone else’s for over five years already—no one knows where she is, and there’s no way left to find out. There’s truly nothing more to do but turn back—”
“We’re going to Putuaro.”
“Huh?”
Dion’s eyes widened in shock. Nearby knights, who had been quietly sharpening their swords, snapped their heads up.
They’d thought this “search for a benefactor”—or rather, a first love—was finally ending. But it wasn’t over yet?
The knights stood up and stared intently at Dion, as if expecting him to take charge.
“What? What is it? Why are you all looking at me like that?”
“You know why.”
Though elite knights trained to remain unshaken in any crisis, every task still required the right person.
Thus, despite his timid nature, Dion—the one chosen—bravely stepped forward to face Ian.
“Um… Your Highness? Isn’t Putuaro near Pretarita, the port city we visited earlier? Are we really going back there?”
“This is truly the last stop. If she’s not there, we’ll have no choice but to plant someone inside the Grand Ducal estate and wait.”
Plant someone where?
“What? You think *you’re* the right one for the job? If you’d like, I’ll disguise you as a servant and send you in.”
His Majesty was spewing nonsense again—and yet, as always, Dion had to swallow it like honey.
Dion hastily reined in his disrespectful glance and blurted out,
“I am truly happiest when I’m right by Your Highness’s side!”
His lips trembled as he desperately flattered his lord.
Just what kind of woman was she? How breathtakingly beautiful? What sorcery did she wield?
What could possibly drive the man who never lost composure even amid countless battlefields to such extremes?
Clutching his curiosity—ready to burst—Dion mounted his horse. Whether stopped or followed, he had to ride.
“Please, just come with me!”
But his thoroughly unhinged master was already long gone.
[This is the timeline separator]
The crisp scent of the sea tousled his hair refreshingly. A few seagull footprints in the sand vanished under white foam, washed away by the tide.
Helena turned her head. A signpost between the rocks creaked in the wind. The words marking the village entrance were worn nearly illegible.
Booooom—
A deep ship’s horn echoed far and wide.
Just then, a passing cargo wagon happened to be heading toward a nearby port town, so Helena asked to ride along.
The wagon set off to sell harvested crops, and she deliberately chose a quiet spot along the deserted shore.
For days at Pretarita’s cemetery, Helena had shed her last tears. Facing utter despair, she felt no will to go on.
While staying by Basil’s and her mother’s graves, she could only gasp for breath through shivering loneliness.
If merely breathing felt this agonizing, perhaps ceasing to breathe wouldn’t be worse.
Besides, her body was fated to die within a few years anyway. They wouldn’t scold her for joining them so soon.
‘Mother, Basil… I miss you. I’ll be with you soon.’
Male lead fell into her trap — and shattered when she walked away
This is also on my reread list!
This one is a slow burn, but when it burns, it burns hard.
Definitely worth a read, y’all!
The story follows a thousand-year-old seductive spirit who, on a bet, sets out to charm the male lead—a once-promising but unfortunate cultivator.
But just when she succeeds in making him fall for her, she heartlessly leaves, driving him to madness.
Determined to find her at all costs, he captures her, keeping her by his side no matter what, even if she hates him.
I love this kind of trope—I enjoy watching the male lead suffer in agony.
The ending drags a bit with unnecessary filler, but that’s fine.
As long as I enjoy the beginning, I’m good.
Intro
As an enchantress, Su Heng possesses captivating eyes and charming beauty, easily manipulating the joys and sorrows of living beings at her fingertips.
But to enchant a god, making him taste the bitterness of love’s separation, long-lasting resentment, unattainable desires, and inability to let go…
Do you dare?
Su Heng assists a divine lord in his cultivation, aiming to make him experience all the sufferings of love, so that he can attain the Great Dao.
Only after being chased down from the heavens by the divine lord, confined and completely possessed by him, does she realize how successful she has been.
The once gentle and polite youth has transformed into someone she no longer recognizes.
[Touch the gear icon in the bottom right corner of the screen to move to the next chapter if you want.]
Who cares? 😒 That mf deserves a lot of pain 😒😒😡😡
EXACTLY! She’s with someone else …now you aint shit
Me too 😒 she should have kicked his balls and cut them 🤔