Even if Your Regret Holds Me Back (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 11
The child, still too young to be left alone, had once clutched their own hand tightly with pale fingers and exhaled a fragile breath, saying,
“Sister, you don’t need to come anymore. I know His Grace dislikes you coming here…”
“Basil.”
“I’m fine. Just… grant me one request. Later, someday… if I die before you… bury me in Pretarita’s communal graveyard.”
“…Basil.”
The little child who had always comforted me, the crybaby.
“There’s old Granny Mago from the house behind us, the butcher’s little boy, and Mother too. Promise you’ll bury me there, okay?”
“…Alright, I promise.”
“Thank you, Sister. You must be happy—truly happy.”
The small arms that once held me tight—now there was no way to recall just how warm that embrace had been. There was no one left to tell me.
Not even the hollow shell of a family, nor the lover who once vowed lifelong devotion, nor Mother, nor Basil. No one remained.
The more I missed them, the more I resented them; the more I resented them, the more I missed them.
“If you were both going to leave so soon, why didn’t you let me die too?”
Why, why did everyone leave me behind?
I don’t want to stay here alone. I want to stop waiting. Please, Mother, take me with you. Please, please…
Helena hunched forward as if embracing an invisible figure. Dry grass tore away between the fingers raking through it.
Why did they insist on forcing me to relive a life that brought only pain?
Helena stayed curled up like the dead for a long while. She didn’t move from that spot until over an hour had passed.
She swallowed her tears and forced her stiff body upright. She silently prayed that her retreating back wouldn’t look too lonely—but she already knew the truth.
She was utterly alone.
[This is the timeline separator]The corridor, adorned with antique bronze arches and paved with softly gleaming ivory marble, exuded Evergale’s distinctive elegance.
Echoing footsteps lent further weight to the decorum, striking a steady rhythm.
Upon recognizing the owner of those steps, the household staff halted their tasks and bowed in unison.
Whenever Eugene returned from his duties, the corridor would instantly clear with heightened bustle.
Through this parted path, Eugene strode without pause. The butler, waiting just inside the main entrance, opened the door in sync with his pace and stepped to his side.
As Eugene handed over his coat, he asked,
“Where’s Helena?”
“No word from her yet, my lord.”
The butler replied with a brief bow. A faint scoff escaped Eugene’s lips.
“She certainly gets around.”
Without further instruction, Eugene resumed walking.
Though he had left at dawn and only just returned, not a trace of fatigue showed on his face.
Instead, he headed straight for the training hall—the best way to unwind from a tangled day was to exhaust his muscles.
Though he rarely touched a sword anymore—he’d grown sick enough of the stench of iron from his battlefield days—lately, he’d been losing his temper more often.
Even trivial matters that he would’ve once dismissed now tested his composure.
Upon reaching the training hall, Eugene unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled up his sleeves, casting a glance to the side.
A broad-shouldered middle-aged knight stood steadfastly in place—a loyal retainer who had served the Evergales since Eugene’s father’s time.
“You truly never change.”
Eugene turned forward again and selected two suitable practice swords. Tossing one to the knight, he asked offhandedly,
“Tell me, Sir—do you know Helena?”
“…”
“Sir Agail.”
“…This is the first time.”
The question hadn’t been asked expecting a meaningful answer—but neither had he wanted a reply devoid of context.
Frowning slightly, Eugene watched as the knight added,
“It’s the first time Your Grace has ever asked me about the lady.”
“…”
This time, Eugene cut the conversation short. His hand, reaching for his sword, paused briefly.
Had it truly never happened before?
Yes—he supposed that made sense. After all, he’d never felt the need to ask.
To Eugene Evergale, Helena Evergale had simply always been Helena Evergale.
Constant. Unchanging. Ever-present.
Thus, when she’d spoken of farewell, he hadn’t believed her. Instead, he trusted in her unyielding constancy—more than he would even the stuffed stag’s head mounted on the hallway wall.
“It’s stranger still for a husband to ask about his wife. Makes our marriage seem rather faithless, doesn’t it?”
Eugene moved toward the open space as he spoke. Under afternoon sunlight, the honed tip of his blade lightly scraped the floor.
“So then—how well do you think you know Helena?”
His tone feigned leisure but carried a subtle edge. After a moment’s thought, the knight murmured quietly,
“I don’t know if my answer holds any weight. After all, the only person the lady would truly wish to reveal herself to… is Your Grace.”
“…I suppose so. That’s only natural.”
Gripping the sword in his preferred stance, Eugene exhaled softly.
“But apart from what I know… sometimes I find I simply can’t understand Helena.”
“…Is that so?”
Their exchange ended there with a quiet acknowledgment. The knight bowed once and assumed his stance.
Now, full concentration was essential—for without it, he might find himself flat on the floor before he could blink.
Noticing the rising tension, Eugene lowered his torso slightly.
“I might be a bit rough today, Sir. I’m in a foul mood—the morning council meeting was rather disappointing.”
“I understand.”
Eugene moved first.
Soon, sharp metallic clangs filled the training hall without cease.
[This is the timeline separator]Eugene stormed back into his study, slamming the door behind him. Though the enclosed space felt stifling, he forced himself into his chair.
To calm his unsettled mind, he threw himself into work—but focus didn’t come easily.
Knock knock.
Just as he was distractedly staring at unreadable documents, Butler Gordon tapped on the door.
“Come in.”
Moments later, a neatly groomed middle-aged man stood before Eugene, monocle in place, delivering his usual orderly report.
The contents were routine, save for one addition: a poorly dressed man had been loitering near the estate gates.
“Deal with him appropriately. Must I personally entertain some country noble?”
“It’s… he was asking for the lady.”
“For Helena?”
Eugene’s brows shot up in a frown.
After brief consideration, he decided to meet the visitor himself—perhaps he brought news of Helena’s whereabouts.
Eugene went down to the rear garden himself, dismissing nearby onlookers. Sensing his presence, the visitor—who had been standing with his back turned—slowly approached.
The man was somewhat different from what Eugene had expected. Too noticeable to be just an ordinary passerby.
Plain shirt, unadorned vest, long gray robe—neat attire, though clearly inexpensive, which only made him seem more out of place.
He appeared to be deliberately affecting a coarse demeanor to conceal his true nature. Beneath a relaxed air lay restrained authority.
Unbothered by the man’s oddity, Eugene asked bluntly,
“Who are you to be seeking my wife?”
At the word “wife,” the man’s expression flickered for just an instant.
A subtle tremor—like a hairline crack on smooth ice—but Eugene caught it.
Why would this stranger react so strongly to the mere mention of Helena as his wife? Clearly, there was something sharp beneath the surface of this man he’d never met.
The fleeting disturbance vanished as quickly as it came. Composed once more, the man met Eugene’s gaze directly.
“In my youth, I received great kindness from her, and I must repay it. I beg you—let me see her, even for just a moment.”
Eugene felt not just discomfort but a twisting in his gut. His mouth turned bitter.
Not only was there a side of Helena he didn’t know—but now he had to confront time she’d spent with someone he’d never even heard of.
Hadn’t they shared every single moment of their childhood? He even felt a pang of betrayal.
Suppressing his rising irritation, he replied coldly,
“Unfortunately, it won’t be possible for now. Helena isn’t here. She’s gone.”
“Gone? Where to?”
“I don’t believe I owe you that information.”
“…I see.”
The man withdrew more easily than expected—likely sensing he’d get no further answers through persistence.
His ability to instantly read Eugene’s expression and mood, his dignified bearing despite his plain clothes—it all pointed to one thing:
He had known Helena well.
Within their brief encounter, Eugene grew only more displeased.
“When Helena returns, would you like me to tell her you came by?”
“Your offer is kind, but I’ll decline. I’ll find her myself.”
“Yourself?”
Yes—truly, it only made him more irritated.
“You said you met as children—what if you can’t even recognize her face?”
“No need to worry. I’ll recognize her at a glance. She’s that kind of person—utterly unforgettable.”
Despite Eugene’s displeasure, the man stated it as unquestionable fact, his tone resolute and absolute.
At last, Eugene understood the source of his unease.
Between them lay a gap—narrow yet unbridgeable. They stood on opposite sides, both gazing at Helena.
Helena. Helena Evergale.
Where are you looking now? Did you truly leave just to forget me?
Did you… leave me?
While Eugene was lost in thought, the man gave a brief bow. Just as he seemed about to turn away, he swept a quick glance over the Grand Duke’s estate and said,
“It seems your wife left for good reason.”
With those words, he vanished before Eugene could react—his exit as seamless as his arrival.
Only thick, dark clouds remained, filling the empty space with gloom.
Alone once more, Eugene was overwhelmed by an inexplicable sense of defeat. All the time he’d ignored now gnawed at him.
He stood rooted to the spot long after the man had gone.
As if Helena might appear at any moment, calling his name.
Male lead first thought she played hard to get, only to realize she
really disliked him
Short intro:
What she can’t stand the most is the streets full of effeminate men, especially that so-called top beauty whom she avoids at all costs.
Shen Yaoxing looks at Jiang Mingyue, who keeps approaching her with coy shyness.
Shen Yaoxing: Bro, don’t be like this, I’m really about to throw up!
She fears nothing in heaven or earth, except for him getting close to her.
*
At first he thought she was just using the trick of feigning indifference to attract his attention. Later, he learned that she truly despised him.
This dealt a heavy blow to Jiang Mingyue, and he vowed to make her, like everyone else, fall at his feet in worship!
***
Synopsis:
Before transmigrating, Shen Yaoxing only wanted to find a reliable man to spend her life with. Who knew that after transmigrating, she would become a reliable woman herself…
A forced misandrist, highly skilled, and reliable female lead
vs.
An initially aloof and arrogant, later morbid, obsessed male lead
_____
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Who cares? 😒 That mf deserves a lot of pain 😒😒😡😡
EXACTLY! She’s with someone else …now you aint shit
Me too 😒 she should have kicked his balls and cut them 🤔