As If I've Never Loved (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 4
The rain that had started pouring down fiercely continued without ceasing until dawn the next day.
Just before sunrise, the outside world was still shrouded in darkness.
Eloise, having awakened, remained still with her eyes closed instead of sitting up, listening quietly to the gentle sound of rain.
“It’s pleasant to hear.”
Sarah was deep in a quiet, peaceful slumber, and only the soft patter of rain seeped through the window, filling the silence.
It was a truly tranquil moment—as if she alone were awake in a sleeping world.
At moments like this, old memories always resurfaced, vivid and clear, one by one.
‘Ansel. That’s my name. And you?’
‘Eloise Bailey.’
Hair blacker than night and elegant eyelashes.
Beneath them, his eyes had shimmered a tender shade of clover green.
Eloise still remembered the thrill she’d felt the first time she’d met those eyes.
‘I just decided yesterday to focus on the present rather than the past…’
And yet, here she was, recalling their very first meeting as if nothing had happened.
A quiet, hollow chuckle escaped through her lips.
Back then, he was seven, and she was only five.
Most memories from those distant childhood days had long faded away—only those concerning Ansel Blaine remained, stubbornly intact.
And with startling clarity—at times even absurdly so to herself.
‘Ansel!’
But she swore this was merely an old habit—something as routine as the season itself, recurring naturally each year.
‘Hurry up and climb up! Here, I’ll take your hand.’
‘…You really have no fear, do you?’
‘Isn’t it beautiful? All this Longfield land belongs to Grandfather. Lucky you, Ansel.’
‘Grandfather’s things are Grandfather’s. They have nothing to do with me, Eloise.’
Looking back, perhaps she had been the only one who truly acted like a child back then.
Because even then, he’d already carried a certain air of maturity.
Young Ansel exuded a composed and refined demeanor uncommon for a child.
It was strange—even remarkable—that a seven-year-old boy spoke with such calm and elegant phrasing.
Especially to the eyes of another child.
Of course, he was still a child himself, and sometimes showed unmistakable, unguarded interest in his older sister.
‘Eloise, where is Miss Bailey?’
‘Sally won’t be coming. She said swimming in the lake isn’t a good idea.’
‘That’s troublesome. Archibald hates swimming too.’
‘…Still, I want to go into the lake. What about you, Ansel?’
As Eloise strung together these scattered memories like beads, she suddenly realized something new.
‘Back then, we really spoke to each other so casually—without even the slightest pretense or flattery.’
Well, perhaps that was only natural. After all, they’d just been children—neither man nor woman yet.
She also remembered clearly the very first moment she’d seen him as a man.
Of course, there had been small flutters before then—
Like when she’d watched his courageous back leading the way through the dark woods after they’d gotten lost, or when he’d carried her home on his back after she sprained her ankle, or when he’d unexpectedly appeared at her sister’s twelfth birthday in Mayberry…
But the precise moment he became an entirely different, breathtakingly foreign presence—so perfect it stole her breath and clenched her chest—was unmistakable.
It was that summer, when he returned to the kingdom at fourteen after leaving for Berthor.
It had been a reunion she’d longed for deeply—yet the boy who came back after just two years had become a man.
That was the first time Eloise realized someone could grow so much taller in merely two years.
His changed eye level, his unfamiliar, almost intimidatingly solid frame, and the strange new scent that clung to him as he drew near.
That day, Eloise fled without even managing a proper greeting.
If only she’d known then that it would be her last chance to gaze closely into his beautiful eyes, would she have endured that moment somehow?
‘…No.’
She wouldn’t have. Her heart had never pounded so wildly before in her life.
She’d been afraid it might shatter from the force of it.
If she’d tried to stand her ground, she might have ended up coughing up her heart before long.
Recognizing that feeling as a feverish kind of love came easily enough.
Though she hadn’t grown as tall as Ansel, her heart had matured beyond concealment during the two summers he’d been away.
That day, she’d sensed instinctively she’d never meet Ansel again.
Even though she’d known all along their paths now stood on different ground, she’d clung to their shared past as a shield, pretending not to see—yet once she acknowledged her love for him, her certainty vanished.
Apparently, he too had decided it was time to end this fleeting charade.
From that day on, Ansel Blaine disappeared from the sisters’ daily lives.
His departure had been remarkably natural—
Just like their accidental first meeting.
Of course, Ansel still visited Longfield every summer, and she occasionally heard news of him through Archibald—
That he’d become a university student, received a knighthood, and enrolled in military academy right after graduation.
And very rarely, she’d even glimpse his carriage from afar.
But that was all. They could no longer meet face to face or exchange words as before.
He no longer attended church either.
It was odd—truly strange—since even the young maidservants of that manor never missed Mass, let alone someone like Earl Huntington, whose movements were limited by age.
Whether this was some belated rebellion or whether he’d become an entirely different person after living abroad, Eloise had no way of knowing.
‘It’s not as if I could ever go ask him myself.’
Although Longfield was only a few hours’ walk away, it would be unladylike—and a breach of etiquette—for a grown young lady to visit an unmarried gentleman of noble status uninvited.
Unless, of course, one were a willful troublemaker actively seeking to disgrace her parents.
‘Still, after all the time we spent together, it’s strange—too strange, and terribly lonely—to become complete strangers overnight.’
Eloise curled up under the covers, lost in thought.
‘Mother said it was for the best, and Sarah said she didn’t miss those days at all.’
But what about him—what had been in Ansel Blaine’s heart?
Even if not for Eloise Bailey, he’d surely held some affection for Sarah Bailey, for my sister at least.
Even if we’d stepped back first, understanding our place, he still could have reached out again.
Even if his noble house had stood in his way, he could have visited secretly, just once…
‘It’s true it’s all long in the past now—but that doesn’t erase the time we shared.’
The more she dwelled on it, the stranger it seemed—but what felt strangest of all was that she seemed to be the only one who thought so.
‘Am I the odd one? Is it just me who still can’t let go of times long gone?’
As she let out a soft sigh, the rain finally ceased.
Soon after, the distant chirping of birds drifted in.
It was at that very instant her sky-blue eyes snapped open.
‘A carriage?’
At first she doubted her ears, but the faint sound mingling with the birdsong was unmistakably that of an approaching carriage—
And it was drawing closer.
Eloise rustled upright and gently turned her head.
Pale dawn light fell across Sarah’s profile, still deeply asleep.
“Hmm…”
She didn’t particularly want to rise before her sister, yet waking Sarah at such an early hour felt wrong too.
Still drowsy, Eloise reached for the shawl hanging on the wall.
Unsurprisingly, the house remained quiet outside.
None of the Bailey women—who were never late risers—had yet awakened. Eloise stepped carefully down the stairs.
‘Could it be a visitor for Father?’
That seemed most likely—Father had many connections.
But why at this hour?
‘…It had better not be bad news.’
Or perhaps it was the heir, coming to inspect the estate and pay his respects.
After all, they’d once been told a distant paternal relative—whose face they’d never seen—would inherit their house and lands.
Then again, maybe he’d simply sent a letter instead of coming in person.
Or maybe… it was Sarah’s new suitor arriving.
By the time Eloise reached the bottom of the stairs, her lips had curved into a small, knowing smile.
‘It’s about time someone new showed up.’
If that were true, coming at such an hour was surely a calculated move to appear earnest.
As she approached the front door with that thought, a crisp, polite knock sounded right on cue.
“Yes.”
Eloise quickly reached for the door, planning to send away any unimportant visitor before the rest of the family woke.
Creaking softly, she unlocked the latch and twisted the old knob. Through the narrow opening, the damp scent of rain-soaked earth drifted in.
The cool, humid breeze carried layered notes of sweet summer roses.
Outside, the morning scene was undoubtedly ordinary—exactly as Mayberry should be at this time of year—and her expectation proved correct.
Except for one thing: this beautiful, uninvited guest.
“…Ansel?”
When the male lead is punished by carrying the female lead’s child and having periods like a woman
“I’ve given birth to two children for you, yet you still think about him.
Was I nothing but his substitute to you from beginning to end?”
Synopsis:
Meng Huan, a scumbag who has dated countless girlfriends, transmigrates to a female-dominated country.
Day 1: Whether it’s female dominance or not doesn’t matter. The beauties here are passionate and amorous. Isn’t it easier to date them than in modern times?
Day 2: After a night, Meng Huan discovers the differences in the female-dominated world. Men here actually have chastity locks and menstrual cycles. This hinders his ability to perform, damn it!
Day 3: What’s wrong with sleeping around? I don’t want you to marry me. I’m meant to be a playboy. I don’t care about male virtues… What? You want to drown me in a pig cage? Marry, I’ll marry!
Day N: Meng Huan inexplicably vomits and receives the shocking news of his life… He’s pregnant.
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Chapter Comments (1)
Inline Comments (53)
Archibald’s face, when she looked down at him, was faintly flushed for some reas
He likes her! I had my dubts, but not now.
Let’s see how the story develops.
“And I’d prefer it if we didn’t see each other after the wedding.”
What a fucking asshole Ansel is!! 😬🤣 How could Eloise have feelings for him?
Since childhood, Bianca had never hesitated to openly declare what she wanted.
That’s ok… But she’s soooo annoying and desperate 😒🤨
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Where is the 100 and 101 chapters 💔💔💔😭😭😭 why it is not here