As If I've Never Loved (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 16
Sarah’s flushed face, breath coming in ragged gasps, was strangely unfamiliar.
She was the sort who only ever blushed faintly—whether from embarrassment or, rarely, anger.
Sarah, having silently drawn near until she stood right before Eloise, handed her a small velvet bundle.
“Eloise, take care on your journey. Be safe….”
The onlookers watching the sisters exchanged puzzled glances, but Eloise alone knew exactly what lay inside the bundle.
Her straight, hazel eyebrows sank helplessly.
“No, Sarah. I can’t accept this.”
“You’ll need it. Please take it.”
“…….”
“Just do it, okay?”
Her heart lurched as if she’d stumbled over a stone and fallen.
Yet unable to reject her beloved sister’s heartfelt gesture, Eloise finally took the little bundle after a moment’s hesitation.
Her hands trembled as she accepted it.
Noticing Archibald standing by the doorway, Sarah gave him a quiet nod. He opened his mouth, looking somewhat sheepish.
“Miss Bailey, I’m sorry, but we’ll be in trouble if we miss the carriage. There won’t be time for the next one….”
“Mm, I understand.”
Sarah answered gently and looked around at her family.
Her parents, the housekeeper, the cook, and the coachman—all the simple, kindhearted members of the Bailey household had reddened eyes.
Their glistening eyes told her plainly: now it was her turn.
With a tender smile, Sarah embraced her precious younger sister tightly.
From within her sister’s fragrant embrace, Eloise whispered,
“Take care, Sally.”
A two-wheeled carriage, drawn by a single horse, hurried along the grassy path.
Eloise, who had been watching Archibald skillfully guide the reins, finally spoke.
“Thank you for seeing me off, Archie.”
“Thank the Earl. He readily lent us the horse and carriage.”
“…….”
“There’s nothing for you to thank me for. I’m only doing what I ought to do.”
The carriage, carrying the two of them, soon entered a shaded lane lined with tall trees on both sides. The air was rich with the fresh scent of greenery.
“It’s I who should thank you, Elsie—for letting me know you’re going to the capital.”
“You’re my friend, after all.”
Certainly, if merely exchanging greetings weekly at church counted as friendship, there were plenty—including folks from Mayberry, Longfield, and Fairmont House.
Yet Archibald had been the only one Eloise told about her departure for the capital.
Though she’d chosen to say little to avoid stirring idle gossip during the days when the Earl’s grandson’s village wedding was the talk of the town, she couldn’t help but worry about him being left behind alone.
Once Ansel and Sarah became husband and wife, and even Eloise herself left for the capital, he’d have no one left to share silly old stories with.
“And besides, it’s not as if it’s anything grand. I won’t even be gone that long anyway.”
Just as Eloise said this and closed her eyes to breathe deeply the crisp forest air—
“Are you leaving because of the marriage between the young master and Miss Bailey?”
“…….”
“You’re not seriously thinking of skipping the wedding, are you?”
At his earnest tone, Eloise opened her eyes. In the shade, her two blue eyes shimmered with a deep, shifting hue.
“Of course not. I was going to leave home eventually anyway. This is just happening a little sooner.”
“So you’ll return before the wedding, then?”
His question carried a subtle assumption that she might not come back at all.
“Of course I will, Archie. How long could I possibly stay in the capital all by myself?”
“I’m worried.”
A breeze full of forest fragrance blew past, lightly stirring Archibald’s russet hair.
“If I weren’t a servant at the estate, I’d go with you.”
“……What? Look ahead, Archibald!”
Flustered, Eloise stammered out the words, and her old friend quickly turned his gaze forward.
Trending
Eloise let out a sigh of relief and covered her flushed cheeks with her gloved hand.
“What on earth would make you follow me all that way?”
Blue veins rose on the back of Archibald’s hand as he gripped the reins. His next words came out oddly low and deep.
“We’re friends.”
“Friends don’t go that far for each other.”
Though she scolded him, Eloise suddenly thought to herself:
He must be lonely. Even if he has companions, I’m probably the only one he can truly call a friend. The thought made her feel oddly guilty.
“Thank you, anyway.”
“…….”
After that, neither of them spoke much.
Eloise had always felt perfectly at ease with Archibald, even in silence—but this time, sitting beside him felt strangely awkward, as if for the first time.
At least the rustling of leaves in the wind and the cheerful clop of hooves filled the quiet, for which she was immensely grateful.
It was also fortunate that the Earl’s well-bred horse brought them to the stagecoach stop earlier than expected.
Of course, the silence that followed once they stepped off the carriage was something they’d simply have to endure.
“…Ah! There it comes.”
Eloise rose from where she’d been sitting in the shade of a tree. The Earl’s servant quickly stood as well, brushing dirt from his clothes.
The stagecoach stopped just a little past them.
A man who looked weary stepped out and approached. From his attire, he appeared to be the coach’s conductor.
“Bound for Brighton—two passengers?”
“No, just me.”
“Yes, one young lady.”
Eloise reached into her handbag and handed the fare to the conductor.
She knew there was money in the bundle Sarah had given her, but she didn’t touch it.
She couldn’t possibly spend right away the emergency funds her sister had so carefully saved.
While Eloise paid, Archibald stood quietly nearby, holding her luggage.
“We’re departing!”
At the driver’s call, the conductor extended his hand as if urging her to board.
“Aren’t you getting on?”
“I’m sorry. I’ll get in right away.”
Just as Eloise reached for his hand, Archibald handed over her bag. While the man reluctantly stowed it in the luggage compartment, Archibald stepped closer.
“Hold on, Elsie.”
“Thank you.”
Her gloved hand, clad in worn lace, settled gently onto his rough, sun-browned palm.
They were still friends—nothing had changed—but it struck her as oddly unfamiliar how different their hands now looked, though they’d once seemed so alike.
Only then did she realize just how long it had been since they’d held hands.
When they were children, holding hands while walking had felt perfectly natural.
What did it mean to grow older? What did it mean to be a proper young lady? As these thoughts crossed her mind, Eloise suddenly felt a little dizzy.
“Archie, now….”
But Archibald didn’t let go. This was awkward—she needed to sit down before the carriage could depart….
Murmurs from the passengers behind her made her break out in a cold sweat.
Eloise’s flustered eyes met those of her childhood friend.
“…What’s gotten into you? Let go.”
Archibald’s face, when she looked down at him, was faintly flushed for some reason.
His sun-kissed complexion was as usual, yet something about him felt strangely unfamiliar.
‘Ah, surely not long ago….’
Hadn’t his eyes looked exactly like this on that day when she’d startled his heart by denying she liked the young master?
“Eloise, you will come back, won’t you?”
Archibald asked then. Behind him stood the conductor, arms crossed.
Eloise twisted her hand, trying to pull free as she answered.
“Of course! My family’s here—how could I not return?”
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“…….”
“Archibald, please let go of my hand.”
“Alright.”
Only then was her hand released.
Archibald’s hand had been so warm that its absence left a faint chill in its place.
“Alright then, we’re off!”
At that, the conductor sprang onto the carriage, causing Eloise to sway slightly.
As he reached to close the door, Eloise quickly called out,
“Goodbye, Archie! Thank you!”
“I’ll wait,” he mouthed through the narrowing gap.
Just as Eloise was about to reply, the door slammed shut with a thud.
“…….”
The stagecoach, easily large enough for twelve, carried only an elderly couple and two young men, leaving many seats empty.
Of course, more passengers would board as they neared Brighton, but for now, she could travel without discomfort—a small mercy.
The stale, musty odor inside, reminiscent of old laundry, was regrettable, though….
“I’m sorry.”
Apologizing awkwardly to her fellow passengers, Eloise took a seat in the back corner.
The others glanced curiously at the young woman who’d boarded the capital-bound coach alone, but soon lost interest and closed their eyes to rest.
As the carriage began to move, Eloise felt a queasy sensation in her stomach.
It suddenly felt unbelievable that she was actually on her way to the capital—not for worship or an outing, but for real.
And alongside complete strangers, no less….
Just then, the rustling of what seemed to be a route map and the men’s voices broke the silence.
“So it’ll take at least another day and a half? The next stop is….”
“Stop fussing. It’s not like anyone here has never been to the capital before.”
Startled by those words, Eloise held her breath, eyes wide.
She knew Mayberry was quite far from the capital—but now that it was truly happening, the distance felt overwhelmingly vast.
She’d acted unconcerned while persuading her family, but Eloise, who’d never left her family’s side in her life, now felt belated fear settle over her in the swaying carriage.
Would she manage? Had she been too reckless?
Though everyone at home considered her spirited, she was, after all, just a twenty-two-year-old country girl.
She possessed a delicate sensibility like glass and knew little of the ways of the world.
Naturally, she’d never imagined someone like herself would abruptly set off for the kingdom’s capital.
It had all begun with that proposal. And so, inevitably, her thoughts returned once more to him.
“Ha….”
Gazing out the small window at the familiar landscape receding into the distance, Eloise let out a pained sigh, thinking of him yet again.
‘Don’t think about it. I’m leaving to forget him.’
Eloise tightly gripped her deep navy-blue dress and silently repeated to herself, as if making a vow:
It’s alright. I’m heading toward a world so vast and dazzling it makes everything I’ve known seem small. Once I reach the capital, I won’t have a moment to think of you.
When this turmoil inside me settles, I’ll return to my family—proud and confident—living happily right before your eyes.
The thought finally eased her tension, and exhaustion washed over her.
She’d barely slept all night, her mind too anxious with worry.
“It’ll be alright….”
Eloise whispered faintly, like a wisp of mist, then sank into the seat and closed her eyes.
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Chapter Comments (1)
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applehead jackson Chapter 21 — Paragraph 2“And I’d prefer it if we didn’t see each other after the wedding.”
What a fucking asshole Ansel is!! 😬🤣 How could Eloise have feelings for him?
applehead jackson Chapter 25 — Paragraph 20Since childhood, Bianca had never hesitated to openly declare what she wanted.
That’s ok… But she’s soooo annoying and desperate 😒🤨
applehead jackson Chapter 26 — Paragraph 20Bianca, unexpectedly rewarded by her realization, half-closed her blue eyes and
What the actual fuck is wrong with You!! 😒🤨😡 She’s annoying af
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Where is the 100 and 101 chapters 💔💔💔😭😭😭 why it is not here