As If I've Never Loved (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 15
“Don’t you have something to say to me?”
“Sister…”
Eloise couldn’t help but let her voice tremble at the end.
And no wonder—Sarah, looking at her, was trembling too.
Various thoughts rushed through her mind.
Had Mother perhaps whispered something to her? Or was Sarah hurt because I’ve been clearly avoiding her lately?
Or… could it be that she already knew where my heart stood? Just as I understood hers, perhaps she…?
Merely thinking this made her heart sink, yet one thing was certain: there was indeed something she needed to say—words that could no longer be delayed.
“Yes.”
Eloise replied softly, gazing up at her sister with quiet intensity.
Sarah set the candlestick she held onto the nightstand beside the bed and sat down next to her younger sister.
Her gentle, warm hands tenderly stroked Eloise’s cheeks before settling softly over the back of her hands.
“How strange. It feels like ages since I last held your hand—though I used to hold it several times a day. Doesn’t it?”
“……”
“It’s sad to think there would come days when I’d long to hold this hand but couldn’t. Or that we’d no longer fall asleep in the same room.”
But you’re not going far away. If I want to, we can meet anytime—because I’ll still be here.
She wanted to say that, but the words wouldn’t come out.
It was rare for Sarah to speak like this, which only made Eloise feel more affectionate toward her… yet now, she truly had to say it.
“…Sister, I’m going to the capital.”
“The capital?”
Sarah’s clear, lake-like eyes widened in surprise.
Her pale lips still held a gentle smile—as if she thought this was some silly joke or childish whim.
“I’ve already told Mother, but somehow the words just wouldn’t come out when it came to you…”
“……”
“It’s sad to have to leave you, but I’m not a child anymore.”
Sarah, who had been silently studying Eloise’s eyes, finally answered.
“Eloise… you’re serious.”
“Yes. Was it too sudden?”
Sarah didn’t ask how she planned to get to the capital or how she’d manage once there. She simply asked,
“When do you plan to leave?”
“I’ll take the shared carriage departing from Longfield the day after tomorrow. I’ve already asked our relatives for permission to stay with them, and I’ll look for work. But I don’t intend to stay very long. This is only…”
“You don’t need to explain so hard, Elsie. I’ve been worried because you’ve seemed so down lately—I’m just glad you’ve found a way forward.”
Sarah smiled faintly.
Seeing that smile made Eloise’s fingertips tingle inexplicably, as though she were a child caught stealing candy, filled with nervous guilt.
“I’m sorry I won’t be able to stay with you until your wedding, Sally.”
“No, I’m the one who should apologize. As your older sister, I should’ve been more supportive… I feel ashamed that the whole family has been so focused only on my wedding.”
“Well…”
Eloise’s words trailed off.
Of course—marriage was the most important event in a woman’s life. Watching Sarah, who’d always been considerate enough to feel guilty over her own childish complaints about boredom or missing childhood, made Eloise’s eyes sting.
“Oh my, are you crying?”
Eloise shook her head vigorously in refusal and instead answered by pulling Sarah tightly by her slender neck.
Affection for her sister and guilt mingled together like storm clouds hanging over her head—any moment now, it felt like rain would fall from within her heart.
“Don’t worry. You’ll be fine.”
Sarah whispered gently. Having known Eloise as spirited and brave since childhood, the idea of her going alone to the capital wasn’t entirely surprising.
Though concerned, Sarah trusted that her younger sister would manage just fine wherever she went.
Though now taller than her sister by half a head, Eloise still received the same tender back-patting Sarah had always given her since they were little.
After all, to Sarah, Eloise would forever remain her little Elsie.
For a while, neither of them spoke.
Then, after briefly patting her sister’s back, Sarah leaned her face against Eloise’s neck and asked softly, her voice strangely faint.
“You’ll still come to the wedding, won’t you?”
“……”
No. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t go—because I couldn’t possibly ruin your happiness.
“Yes. Of course I will.”
Eloise answered in a gentle tone. But she had already planned to send a letter on the wedding day claiming she’d fallen ill.
She simply couldn’t trust herself to stand there and offer cheerful blessings to the two of them on a wedding barely a month away.
‘It’s sad that I won’t be there for your special moment…’
Yet no matter how much she thought about it, not going truly was the right choice.
She couldn’t possibly leave a stain on her sister’s most precious day—the kind of memory meant to be treasured forever.
Even as she thought this, Sarah’s voice tugged at her heart, so Eloise quickly added,
“You do know I’m not planning to live in the capital permanently, right? I’m just going for some fresh air. I probably won’t even stay long anyway.”
“Why would you think that? You’ll do just fine wherever you go.”
Honestly, if Sarah weren’t her sister, Eloise might’ve mistaken her for their mother.
With only a two-year age gap, how could she be this mature? Sarah’s gentleness always made Eloise feel like a spoiled child again.
“One day you’ll suddenly come running back, crying and saying you shouldn’t have left, clinging to me like this and complaining. And I’ll keep dropping by to see you over and over—until you’re thoroughly annoyed. So Sally, you’d better brace yourself.”
Perhaps because they were holding each other so tightly, Eloise could clearly feel Sarah smiling silently.
“I’ll welcome that anytime.”
Sarah gently pulled away and quietly studied her sister’s face.
As she softly brushed Eloise’s smooth cheek with her thumb and carefully tucked a stray strand of chestnut hair back under her nightcap, Eloise spoke.
“I love you so much, Sister.”
“I love you too, my little Elsie.”
“You’ll become the most beloved wife, but I’m certain I love you more than he ever could.”
Eloise spoke clearly, as if making a vow—almost as though she were reminding herself.
Sarah smiled like a gentle breeze, her starry eyes brimming with tenderness.
“How about we sleep together tonight, like we used to when we were little?”
It was a soft question.
Though the bed was too narrow for two grown women to lie side by side comfortably, Eloise beamed as if she’d been waiting for this.
“Yes. I’ll hold you tight all night.”
[This is the timeline separator]Time flowed like a river, and soon morning arrived—the day Eloise would leave home.
Though her sudden announcement had caused concern, thankfully, no one in the family opposed her decision.
‘I expected it would be hard to convince Mother, even if Father or Sister might understand.’
Eloise realized anew that she’d truly become an adult.
Of course, it helped greatly that Uncle Simon was a very trustworthy man and that everyone was too preoccupied with Sarah’s upcoming wedding to worry about anything else.
“Oh, my dear! Is that all your luggage?”
“Yes, Mrs. Hurst. I don’t plan to stay long.”
Eloise offered an awkward smile.
Truthfully, sorting out her feelings wasn’t something she could do overnight—it seemed unlikely she’d return anytime soon.
But since she couldn’t say that outright, she’d simply packed light.
Mrs. Hurst gazed at Eloise, who looked more mature than usual with her rich chestnut hair neatly braided and pinned up, then suddenly pressed a hand to her chest.
“It saddens me that I’ll never again see you two sisters walking down the stairs together in the morning.”
“Oh…”
Eloise froze, halting the habitual lie she’d been about to say—that she’d be back soon.
She’d just realized that Sarah’s wedding, the Bailey family’s eldest daughter’s wedding, was right around the corner.
Once Sarah married and left home, even if Eloise returned, that familiar morning scene would be gone forever.
Though they’d soon all live together in the palace-like Fairmont House, it wasn’t pure joy—because it meant leaving behind all the memories soaked into this old two-story home.
Time couldn’t be turned back; life always moved forward.
Yet Eloise found it ironic that, even knowing this, she sometimes felt sorrow at being unable to stay in one place.
“Hello. I’ve come to take Eloise.”
A young man’s voice rang out from beyond the wide-open front door.
It was Archibald, the earl’s servant, who’d promised to accompany Eloise to the carriage stop for the capital.
“Archie’s here. I really must go now…”
At those words, Mrs. Bailey tightened her grip slightly on her daughter’s hand.
Dressed in a plain, deep blue dress with a matching hat, Eloise looked every bit the refined young lady.
“Let go, Mother. I need to carry my bag.”
“Just one more hug, Elsie.”
The moment Mrs. Bailey pulled her close, Mr. Bailey standing beside them burst into heartfelt sobs.
“Oh, our Elsie…!”
Eloise couldn’t help but laugh through the tears welling at the corners of her eyes.
He’d always been far more sensitive than the women of the household—so this came as no surprise.
While Mr. Bailey, tears dripping like pearls, took Eloise into his arms, Mrs. Bailey murmured in confusion,
“By the way, why isn’t Sarah coming down? Is your sister still asleep?”
“Of course not. She was the one who woke me up…”
Eloise’s expression grew troubled as she turned anxiously toward Archibald, who stood waiting.
“It’s all right. We already said our goodbyes in her room. I shouldn’t miss the carriage—I’ll send a letter as soon as I arrive…”
“…Eloise!”
Just then, a loud thudding sound echoed down the stairs, followed by a desperate cry.
The Bailey family’s faces all lit up with astonishment at the uncharacteristically hurried behavior of their usually composed eldest daughter.
Male lead is a Divorced Husband
She said to him: “Tell me, what makes you like me? I’ll change it!”
Liu Changning transmigrated into a female cannon fodder character in a female-dominant novel.
After reading the first half of the novel’s plot, the first thing she did upon transmigration was to divorce the Pan Jinlian-style male protagonist she had just married.
She indulged herself, pretending to be ugly and poor.
But as time passed, the way that man looked at her became more and more unusual…
Liu Changning was dumbfounded: Tell me, what makes you like me? I’ll change!
――
This lifetime, Pei Yuanshao was rejected by the same woman twice!
The first time, she drove him away. Forced by the situation, he endured the waves of anger in his heart, yielding and humbling himself.
That person lay slanted on a rocking chair, her sallow face emotionless: “If you don’t want a divorce, go cook!”
Pei Yuanshao’s face was dark and gloomy: “You!”
The second time, after the crisis in Jinling City was resolved, the new emperor sent someone to pick him up. He turned around, stammering: “I… I have to go. If you keep me…”
That person lay on the kang bed, her back to him, as if she had long anticipated this day, crisp and clear: “Goodbye!”
Pei Yuanshao was so angry his fingers trembled: “You… you!”
The mission of family and country made him restrain himself, averting his eyes and turning to leave this broken household.
Two years later, they met again. Seeing her ethereal face, his body shook like a sieve.
“She was originally a ‘she’!”
At the Qionglin Banquet, the top scholar of the imperial examination, a talented person with exceptional speech and conduct, all the unmarried young gentlemen from aristocratic families looked at her with shy and timid eyes.
The peerless imperial official Pei Yuanshao felt the anger in his heart erupt. He pointed at the woman surrounded by the crowd at the Qionglin Banquet, his thin lips slightly curled: “Little sister, I wants that person to be the wife-master of my Mingde Prince Manor.”
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Chapter Comments (1)
Inline Comments (53)
Archibald’s face, when she looked down at him, was faintly flushed for some reas
He likes her! I had my dubts, but not now.
Let’s see how the story develops.
“And I’d prefer it if we didn’t see each other after the wedding.”
What a fucking asshole Ansel is!! 😬🤣 How could Eloise have feelings for him?
Since childhood, Bianca had never hesitated to openly declare what she wanted.
That’s ok… But she’s soooo annoying and desperate 😒🤨
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Where is the 100 and 101 chapters 💔💔💔😭😭😭 why it is not here