As If I've Never Loved (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 17

“Brighton, we’ll be stopping shortly.” Eloise, who couldn’t recall when she’d drifted off, blinked groggily awake at the conductor’s booming voice and slowly stretched with a yawn. “Finally… here.” Eloise instinctively covered her mouth in surprise, blinking bewilderedly. Gradually, her drowsiness receded and reality sharpened into focus. Her shoulders slumped limply. “Oh, right—there’s no mother here to scold me for yawning like this.” She realized belatedly just how far she’d come alone. She couldn’t even remember how many times the carriage had stopped along the way. Each time passengers boarded or alighted, she’d briefly roused—but always quickly drifted back to sleep. And for good reason: when awake, there was astonishingly little to do. The scenery beyond the window, growing increasingly bustling, soon grew dull, and every moment stung with the absence of her sister, with whom she could have shared trivial chatter. Whenever the stop coincided with mealtime, she’d grab a quick bite at a nearby eatery—but eating alone left every meal astonishingly tasteless. Naturally, nothing could compare to warm meals prepared by Chef Mitchell, yet even her own clumsy sandwiches would surely have tasted better. At least, had someone been with her, they could have laughed together over the awful food. “Being alone really is lonely.” Loneliness—a feeling both novel and unfamiliar to Eloise. It was the same emotion she’d felt upon hearing news of her sister’s engagement. But now, for better or worse, she had to grow accustomed to it. After all, that was precisely why she’d come here. Just then, a middle-aged gentleman’s voice pierced through her thoughts. “Oh, look over there.” More precisely, it was the word that followed. “Military cadets.” “Ah! Is the Royal Military Academy nearby? Is it the army branch?” “Yes. It’s in Chatham—about an hour from here.” “Their uniforms look splendid. Summer isn’t even over yet—could their summer break already be done?” Hypnotized, Eloise lifted her head and peered out the half-opened curtain. Outside lay another world. The grand avenue, lined densely with tall buildings bathed in the crimson glow of sunset, was breathtakingly beautiful. Yet because the carriage was still moving, the cadets the couple had mentioned were already out of sight. An irrepressible pang of regret washed over her—even though it was unlikely Ansel would have been among them anyway. “…Wait, why am I even disappointed?” By the time this thought struck her, she felt like banging her head repeatedly against the window. But since she couldn’t actually do that, Eloise merely adjusted the handbag in her lap and closed her eyes again. Not long after, the carriage came to a halt. “Oh, we’ve finally stopped!” “We’ve arrived at last.” Two men exclaimed excitedly. They, along with Eloise, were the only passengers who’d remained onboard since Longfield. Clunk—the conductor flung open the carriage door and leapt down briskly to announce their arrival at the terminus. “Brighton! This is Brighton!” A slightly chilly breeze and the murmur of street noise drifted into the carriage. The ten or so passengers busied themselves stretching, gathering belongings, and exchanging reflections on their long journey. Amidst the commotion, Eloise sat still, her face resembling that of a frightened child, waiting patiently for others to disembark first. “Go on, young lady.” “Thank you.” Now alone, Eloise stepped down from the carriage with the conductor’s help. Her luggage already sat waiting at the front. Having let off all passengers, the carriage departed without a backward glance. Eloise stood dazed, fully exposed to the cloud of dust kicked up by the departing carriage. Halfway exhausted to the bone, halfway gripped by vague fear, a hollow laugh escaped her lips. “I’ve really arrived in Brighton… all by myself…” Rubbing her sore eyes, Eloise took a deep breath and slowly opened them. The street scene before her now—was utterly shocking. “Huh?” Unlike the view from inside the carriage, the street was chaotic and filthy. Though the nearby market kept the area from being deserted, all manner of trash and animal droppings littered the ground. Worse still, soot-covered beggars and vagrants clustered everywhere, casting an ominous gloom over the place. “How on earth…?” Before Eloise could muster the courage to take a step, a voice sounded behind her. “Miss Longfield, is this your first time in the capital?” “…Yes?” The speaker was one of the men who’d ridden the same carriage. Why they were still lingering was unclear—but she didn’t particularly care to know. There was something else she wanted to ask. “Well… it is my first time, but this is completely different from the scenery I saw earlier…” “Different carriages take different routes to the capital, even if they’re all heading to the same place. Didn’t you check the route?” “I did check—and boarded that specific carriage. My relative’s address is nearby.” “Ah, so the capital isn’t what you imagined? This neighborhood’s always been like this. What you saw before must’ve been the affluent district.” “…I see.” Apparently, she’d ended up in the capital’s slums. Granted, Brighton was said to be vast enough to be called a small kingdom—and she hadn’t actually expected a grand city to be filled with roses and verdant meadows like peaceful Mayberry… Still, the sight left Eloise disheartened. The other man noticed and asked gently, “Need help, miss? Where does your relative live?” “Well…” Eloise reached into her bag for the note with the address—but stopped short. She’d just noticed the man’s gaze felt oddly intense. Now that she thought about it, his manner of speaking and attire weren’t quite proper either. These men certainly didn’t seem like gentlemen offering aid to a lady in distress. Her delicate chestnut-brown eyebrows shot up sharply. Careful not to let her trembling lips show, Eloise met the man’s eyes with clear wariness. Flustered, he raised both hands. “We just want to help! You’re new here—there’s no way you can find your way alone…” “Thank you for your concern, but I can manage by asking for directions.” At her firm reply, the man clicked his tongue regretfully and added, “Be careful, miss. The capital’s a dangerous place—especially after dark.” “…” “You’d better keep your wits about you if you don’t want to get swallowed whole.” When Eloise shot them another wary glance, both men gave awkward laughs. “Then good luck to you, Miss Longfield.” “…It’s Mayberry.” Muttering softly, Eloise turned away, leaving the men to disappear into the shadowy gloom beneath a bridge. [This is the timeline separator] Even though she’d packed lightly, her luggage—stuffed with clothes and personal belongings—was far from light. Carrying that heavy bag while searching for Uncle Simon’s house proved no easy task. To make matters worse, the sky darkened by the minute. Despite being in the same kingdom, the evening air here in the north turned biting cold. “It’s too hard…” After hours of carriage travel, her whole body ached beyond words, and the capital’s unremarkable evening scenery further drained her already depleted spirits. Moreover, the people were terribly cold. When she asked for directions, some brushed her off as if too busy, while those who did reply clearly found her a nuisance. Every time she sensed vagrants lurking in alleyways watching her, her grip on the bag’s handle tightened until her palms went numb. “…Is this it?” Lifting her weary face before a wide avenue lined with modest two- and three-story houses, Eloise’s hazy gaze landed on a house charmingly draped in aged ivy. “4 Norstown Street—the red brick house!” The moment she confirmed she’d arrived, Eloise’s face brightened like a blooming cherry blossom. Thankfully, this neighborhood seemed to lie somewhere between the slums and the wealthy district. Though not lavish, at least there was no trash scattered about—and no grimy-looking homeless loitering nearby. Her legs, which had moments ago seemed ready to buckle, now carried her across the street with light, fluttering steps. A happy hum escaped her lips without thought. “What should I say? ‘Hello, I’m Catherine Fairbain’s daughter?'” She’d been nervous the whole journey—running away from home to seek help from a distant relative she’d never even met—but now, nothing seemed to matter anymore. Surely they’d received her letter, and she’d been told they were good people… “I just want to wash up and crawl into bed!” The peeling front gate stood atop a flight of at least ten stone steps. Dragging her numb legs forward, Eloise gently set her bag down and quickly smoothed her clothes. After adjusting her hat and clearing her throat, she finally gathered the courage to knock. Thump-thump—after she rapped firmly on the door with trembling hands, footsteps soon approached from within. The door opened, and Eloise immediately spoke the words she’d rehearsed. “Hello, I’m… huh?” But the one who opened the door was an elderly woman with silver-streaked hair. Confusion flickered across Eloise’s face. “Uncle Simon’s wife passed away long ago. He should be living alone.” …Had he remarried? While such thoughts tumbled through Eloise’s mind, the old woman—equally puzzled—frowned and folded her arms. Her sharp, impatient eyes, hidden behind spectacles, scanned the naive-looking country girl from head to toe. Just as the woman parted her lips to speak after sizing Eloise up, Eloise couldn’t contain her curiosity any longer. “Who are you?”

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