As If I've Never Loved (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 12
Well, now you can cry all you want. That foolish thought crossed her mind.
Then, as if by magic, a voice reached her.
“Eloise.”
“……Archie?”
Her eyes, as blue as a summer sky, blinked dazedly.
“Why are you here?”
“That’s what I should be asking you.”
Archibald wiped the sweat trickling down his temple with his wrist and grinned playfully.
In his deep-set eyes, surprise and delight mingled warmly.
Eloise groaned and sat up.
Under the dense shade of the oak tree, Archibald’s sun-kissed skin looked even darker and more vivid.
They’d been nearly the same height when they were children, but now she had to tilt her head back just to meet his eyes.
She used to find that fact oddly frustrating, but since it no longer bothered her, she supposed she must have grown up too.
“So why aren’t you inside the manor and out here all by yourself?”
“You can’t seriously think I followed you here on purpose?”
The earl’s servant burst into laughter, clearly baffled.
His laugh was so hearty that Eloise, momentarily speechless, turned her face away—and Archibald replied casually,
“I was just coming back from Mr. Cooper’s. Oh, he’s the earl’s new forester. His cabin’s nearby.”
Eloise lowered her gaze and nodded. Her voice, slightly quieter now, continued.
“Then tell me, Elsie—what are you doing here? Did you come to see the young master?”
“Don’t be absurd.”
“…….”
“It was just by chance. I ended up here somehow.”
Her quick denial had been fine, but the explanation afterward was the problem.
Walking all the way from Mayberry House to here by “chance”? Even she wouldn’t believe that—and it wasn’t as if it were less than an hour’s walk.
Eloise sank down helplessly and added,
“I’ll rest a bit and head back soon, so you should go in. I’ll see you on Sunday.”
At that, Archibald dropped down beside her with a thud.
“……Why?”
“I was going to rest here a while before heading back too.”
“How dull……. Suit yourself. But I won’t say a word. My mind’s too tangled right now.”
A brief silence fell. Just as Eloise closed her eyes, feeling the breeze brush gently against her cheek—
“Is it because your sister’s getting married?”
“…….”
Eloise’s shoulders twitched involuntarily, but she steeled herself to respond calmly.
“Yes. I just can’t imagine life without her.”
“That must be hard.”
“But… they love each other, don’t they? That’s a miracle, Archie.”
“It is,” Archibald agreed.
“It’s such a relief that Sister’s marrying Sir Ansel. You have no idea how faithfully he’s been visiting our house! Oh—do you even know? Anyway… thanks to Sir Ansel deciding not to take Sally to the capital, we’ll still get to see each other often. So it’s something to be grateful for.”
Eloise, having unintentionally rambled on, fidgeted awkwardly with her hair. A small doubt flickered through her mind right after.
“Oh, by the way—will Sir Ansel and Sister be living at Fairmont House?”
“Didn’t you know? The manor’s been bustling nonstop, preparing rooms for the young master and his bride. They’re even redoing the garden for the wedding. That’s actually why I went to see Mr. Cooper just now.”
“Really?”
Now that she thought about it, her mother had mentioned something like that—about her sister becoming the mistress of Fairmont House……
“So that’s why she said what she did back then.”
After all, there wasn’t another house nearby grand enough to suit his tastes, and building a new one wouldn’t have worked with the timing.
“‘You’ll see each other so often it’ll feel like you’re living under the same roof. You might even truly live together someday.’”
Then what exactly had he meant by that?
She knew that whenever Ansel visited, talk of wedding preparations filled the air—but Eloise, who had desperately avoided those conversations, had no idea of the details.
“Hey, Archie—have you heard anything about our whole family moving to Fairmont House, not just Sister?”
“I haven’t heard anything like that. Why? Did the young master say something?”
Seeing Archibald’s usually playful eyes widen in genuine surprise, she realized this was news to him.
So it really had just been a careless remark—spoken in a moment of anger, hurt by her attitude.
“No.”
“Well… maybe it’ll happen someday. There are plenty of empty rooms, after all.”
Archibald shrugged nonchalantly. Eloise’s tone was no different.
“Yes, maybe it will. Then we’ll be living in the same house. Though, of course, I might get married before that happens.”
“Are you thinking of marriage?”
“Huh?”
“I mean—do you plan to marry someone other than the young master?”
Eloise’s heart lurched. Suddenly, her head felt light and dizzy.
“Archie… why have you been acting like this lately?”
“If I upset you, I’m sorry. But I thought you’d never marry unless you loved the person. You’ve always been so stubborn—and a little odd, too.”
“…….”
Stubborn and odd Eloise found herself utterly speechless.
Partly because her childhood friend seemed to read her heart with unnerving clarity.
Sadly, a lady’s marriage was closer to duty than love, and Eloise had long known that one day she might have to marry someone who wasn’t Ansel.
For the sake of her family, it would be unavoidable.
But now that her elder sister Sarah was marrying the earl’s grandson—a man far wealthier than even Mrs. Poulm’s son-in-law—the situation had changed.
There was no longer any reason to force the reluctant younger daughter into marriage.
That must be why Archibald had asked her that question.
But the very reason Eloise had walked all this way without purpose was to escape such thoughts, even briefly.
Moreover, she had no intention of letting her perceptive childhood friend keep casually piercing her heart like this.
Her clear blue eyes hardened with resolve.
“Archie, he’ll be Sister’s husband in just over a month. From now on, please don’t talk about him like that. It’s true we used to be comfortable around each other, but things have changed. Do you understand?”
“Will your feelings disappear just because I stop talking about it?”
“No, Archie! It’s not that I like him……”
Eloise stopped mid-sentence.
Archibald didn’t interrupt—not even to press further—but simply listened with a serious expression. Yet his eyes seemed to say clearly:
I know everything, Elsie.
“……Yes, I did like him. That’s the truth. But not anymore.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes……. So of course I can marry someone else. I don’t know who yet, but love is supposed to come suddenly, isn’t it? So I’ll just wait and see.”
“…….”
Had that sounded natural?
She’d braced herself for another round of questioning—but unexpectedly, Archibald simply nodded without a word.
At least it wasn’t a lie. Sometime soon, she truly wouldn’t love Ansel anymore.
Each passing day, she was slowly letting go of those feelings.
As that thought settled in, her strength drained away as if someone had squeezed her heart tight and finally released it.
“Then I’ll really rest now. I won’t answer anymore.”
Murmuring softly, she closed her eyes—and Archibald, who had somehow moved a little closer, asked,
“Want to lean on my shoulder?”
“……Yeah.”
Though she felt slightly embarrassed for agreeing so quickly after her solemn declaration, Eloise didn’t refuse, resting her head on her friend’s shoulder.
“Wow, your shoulder’s really something. So comfortable.”
The young servant of the earl’s household gave no reply.
It felt like his silent way of saying, “Go ahead and rest,”—and she couldn’t help but smile faintly. That’s what it meant to have an old friend: such ease.
With her eyes closed, she drew in a deep breath, filling her lungs with crisp forest air.
Since he’d just come from the forester’s cabin, even her childhood friend’s shoulder carried the fresh scent of trees.
Amidst that, Eloise caught a faint trace of another fragrance drifting in on the breeze.
It was delicate and distant, yet strangely distinct—enough to make her eyes snap open.
“……Bergamot?”
The moment she realized it must have been her imagination, Eloise almost wanted to cry instead.
[This is the timeline separator]“I love you.”
She finally confessed.
Fear had weighed heavily on her, but hiding her heart any longer had become unbearable—so she had no choice but to lay everything bare before him.
For survival. It was a desperate confession, like a fish dragged onto land frantically thrashing to return to water.
For some reason, her sister’s wedding had vanished as if it had never happened.
Eloise guessed she must have been lost in a very long dream.
And now, thanks to that, she could finally speak her heart—what a blessing.
“For so long… I’ve loved only you, Ansel.”
Her tightly clenched fists trembled. Though anxious he might reject her, relief overwhelmed her even more.
“I had no idea, Eloise.”
Then Ansel spoke.
“I’ve loved you too—since the very beginning.”
The moment she heard his confession, tears burst forth as if by magic.
His gentle eyes, brimming with soft summer sunlight, held her tenderly.
They were the same eyes she’d always loved—unchanged since childhood.
Nestled in Ansel’s broad embrace, Eloise wondered how she could ever write about today in her diary.
Something this beautiful could never be captured in words. It felt as if she’d encountered life’s loveliest moment far too soon.
Even if the rest of her life now seemed dull by comparison, she didn’t care.
No—life with him could never be dull.
Happy tears streamed uncontrollably down her cheeks—but the warmth of those tears felt strangely vivid against her skin.
That was why Eloise, who had been wandering a sweet dream, was abruptly pulled back into reality.
“…….”
It was a quiet dawn.
Wiping her tears with the back of her hand and turning her head, she immediately saw her sleeping sister.
The peaceful, beautiful profile of the bride who, in one month, would pledge eternity to that man.
In an instant, tears of joy turned to tears of guilt.
“This can’t go on…….”
A damp sigh dissolved into the air.
Afraid her sniffles might wake her sister, Eloise pulled the blanket over her head and murmured, squeezing her stinging eyes shut.
“I have to leave.”
Male lead fell into her trap — and shattered when she walked away
This is also on my reread list!
This one is a slow burn, but when it burns, it burns hard.
Definitely worth a read, y’all!
The story follows a thousand-year-old seductive spirit who, on a bet, sets out to charm the male lead—a once-promising but unfortunate cultivator.
But just when she succeeds in making him fall for her, she heartlessly leaves, driving him to madness.
Determined to find her at all costs, he captures her, keeping her by his side no matter what, even if she hates him.
I love this kind of trope—I enjoy watching the male lead suffer in agony.
The ending drags a bit with unnecessary filler, but that’s fine.
As long as I enjoy the beginning, I’m good.
Intro
As an enchantress, Su Heng possesses captivating eyes and charming beauty, easily manipulating the joys and sorrows of living beings at her fingertips.
But to enchant a god, making him taste the bitterness of love’s separation, long-lasting resentment, unattainable desires, and inability to let go…
Do you dare?
Su Heng assists a divine lord in his cultivation, aiming to make him experience all the sufferings of love, so that he can attain the Great Dao.
Only after being chased down from the heavens by the divine lord, confined and completely possessed by him, does she realize how successful she has been.
The once gentle and polite youth has transformed into someone she no longer recognizes.
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Chapter Comments (1)
Inline Comments (53)
Archibald’s face, when she looked down at him, was faintly flushed for some reas
He likes her! I had my dubts, but not now.
Let’s see how the story develops.
“And I’d prefer it if we didn’t see each other after the wedding.”
What a fucking asshole Ansel is!! 😬🤣 How could Eloise have feelings for him?
Since childhood, Bianca had never hesitated to openly declare what she wanted.
That’s ok… But she’s soooo annoying and desperate 😒🤨
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Where is the 100 and 101 chapters 💔💔💔😭😭😭 why it is not here