All My Firsts Are You (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 12
“Director, you’ll be staying here from today, right? You’re always so consistent—every year from the end of June through July. No matter how much work you have in Tokyo, you always stay here until the day before you head back. It’s really something.”
“…Yeah, I guess so.”
Yeah, I guess so. How else would I know when you’d come looking for me? But seeing you today made me realize it wasn’t such a foolish thing to do after all.
“Oh, and Director—those people just now… Could they possibly be someone you know?”
“Something like that, I suppose. You might get to know them well soon enough.”
“…What?”
“What’s so special about ‘someone I know’ anyway? More importantly—”
“Director, are you all right? Why are you breaking out in cold sweat like this…?”
Only then did I notice the chill creeping through my entire body. I wiped the sweat beading on my forehead absentmindedly.
“Oh, I’m fine. But, Secretary Yoon, I think I need to clear some things from my schedule.”
“What? Which schedule are you talking about? Surely you’re not referring to your upcoming trip to the U.S.?”
“Well, that one too.”
“…What?”
“I need to cancel my entire schedule for July.”
Secretary Yoon stood before me, visibly stunned into silence by such an unreasonable statement—living proof that hearing utter nonsense could make someone lose their wits. Yet even in that moment, only one thought filled my mind.
Lee Ha Ru. Until I know exactly where you are right now, I absolutely won’t let you go like this.
Still, this July will be the first time I get to see you in this house—though I’m certain it’s the last thing you’d ever want.
I gave Secretary Yoon a brief summary of what I’d heard from Seo Jung Eun. Her expression had grown increasingly grim the entire time she listened, and finally, she burst out:
“Director, that’s going to be a bit… problematic!”
“I know. Honestly, anyone would find this situation problematic—it’d be stranger if you didn’t. I get it.”
“Don’t just brush it off like that.”
“…Can’t you please just let it slide this once?”
I spoke weakly, and I saw Secretary Yoon’s eyes widen momentarily. But clearly, it wasn’t enough to break her resolve—she immediately began spilling out her thoughts in a hurried rush.
“You’re saying you want to cancel your entire July schedule? Absolutely not. No—it’s not even a matter of whether it’s allowed or not. It’s impossible. Do I really have to list every single reason for you to understand how crucial this period is for you right now?”
Though she used polite speech, she looked exactly like a mother scolding a boy who’d just caused trouble.
“It’s already incredibly rare in this industry for a debut film to become a major hit—and on top of that, you’ve received a personal invitation from Hollywood’s Director Jackson! Are you really going to throw away opportunities like these, ones you might never get again? We absolutely cannot cancel July. Your scheduled trip to the U.S. will proceed exactly as planned.”
My head was so full of thoughts about one person that I missed my chance to respond—and she must have mistaken my silence for agreement, because her tone grew even firmer.
“I never said I’d throw away those opportunities.”
“Oh! So you’ll proceed as originally planned, then?”
“Of course.”
Relief began to spread across Secretary Yoon’s face—making me feel oddly guilty.
“Naturally. Just as newly arranged a moment ago, right at the front door.”
“Director!”
“The meeting with Director Jackson was originally set for April, but got pushed to July because the promotion schedule for this film ran late. If they’re willing to postpone it once more just because of my schedule, then clearly this collaboration isn’t all that essential to them—if it were, it wouldn’t just disappear like that. At the very least, I won’t be the one to throw away that opportunity. If it can be delayed, we’ll delay it. If not, then so be it.”
Maybe this attitude of mine might seem like the arrogance of someone who became a star director purely by luck. Or perhaps even my desire not to appear arrogant could itself be perceived as arrogance. Either way, I was stepping right into controversy during the worst possible time.
But what choice did I have? If I didn’t do this, I’d go mad…
“Just to find your first love, whom you met when you were barely twenty? Ugh… Director, I’m sorry for what I just said. I do understand what ‘first love’ means to you. But your next film’s performance will directly shape your entire career—and your life—from this point forward. Please, just think a little more rationally. You didn’t become a film director just to find your first love.”
“That’s exactly why I became a director. So isn’t that reason enough to reschedule?”
Secretary Yoon’s frown showed no sign of easing. I knew nothing I said now would smooth those creased brows—in fact, it would only deepen them further.
Seeing that invoking my career and life as a director wasn’t working, Secretary Yoon switched tactics and now proposed a compromise: postponing the filming schedule with the Korean broadcaster to September.
But September wouldn’t do—it absolutely had to be July. The July when Lee Ha Ru left me. Everything had to happen within that month…
“Secretary Yoon, have you ever heard of ‘realism research’? Oh—maybe it’s hard to grasp since, like me, you’re a second-generation Korean in Japan?”
“I know what it means.”
“Good. I plan to use that as my excuse—to do some ‘realism research’ for my film.”
“What? What do you mean by—”
“I just mean I want to film it really, really well. I’ll head upstairs first. Since we’ll be reshuffling the July schedule anyway, tonight’s video call would be pointless. I’ll explain things to the others myself—please go home, Secretary Yoon.”
Leaving Secretary Yoon behind, who was still trying to stop me, I hurried up to the second floor.
The door hinges must have rusted—the moment I shut the door, an unpleasant creak grated against my ears. I didn’t care. All that mattered was creating a space where no one could witness my emotions right now.
I just wanted to hide—to disappear somewhere, anywhere.
A wave of relief washed over me at the realization that I was now completely alone in this space.
“Haa…”
The moment I sat down on the bed, my head—weighed down by tension for so long—drooped heavily forward. All of this had happened in just a few short minutes.
Lee Ha Ru, your mere presence cracks open my once-peaceful day so effortlessly.
Without thinking, I instinctively offered conditions to keep you here, recklessly canceling every single commitment I had. And yet, I still fretted—was there something more I should’ve done? Should I have stopped them from leaving?—terrified you might vanish again without a trace. How utterly pathetic I am.
But Lee Ha Ru… don’t run away. You still have unfinished business with me.
My hand, resting on the bedsheet, clenched tightly.
It all had to end within July—to finally say goodbye to everything that reminds me of you.
Ever since the year you left me, June became the true start of my year—the time when memories of the day you came to me grew sharpest.
And July, the month you left me. Every time I felt July’s warmth on my skin, I remembered that pain. Those were the days when, bathed in the brightest summer sunlight, I paradoxically sank deeper and deeper into despair, hitting rock bottom in the most unbearable way.
That radiant season, stretching from late spring into summer, had faded completely within me.
So this was the perfect time to finally part with those memories. I wanted to reclaim the full sensation of a brilliant summer. I wanted to correct all the hidden truths you kept from me within those memories of loving you. This time, I needed to finally understand that flippant sincerity of yours—the kind that was always ready to leave me at any moment.
That’s why I wanted to cleanly betray the version of myself who once loved you so fiercely.
Only then could I truly say goodbye to you. Only then could I step fully into summer—hot, whole, and without even a trace of longing for you or spring.
I’m standing in front of that house.
In my memories, it was faint, blurry, and faded—the wooden house with its sharp triangular roof. Now it stands before me, solid and vivid, close enough that I could run and touch it.
This house remained, silently holding its ground during the nine years I was absent from Jun’s side.
…Or perhaps what it truly guarded wasn’t just the barren land, but the very spot where I left Jun.
I quickly lowered my gaze and pushed open the small wooden gate, barely reaching my waist, stepping into the yard.
After just a few steps, the rich scent of green grass filled the air, seeping deep into my chest.
This house really is exactly as I remembered. It stayed right here for me—even in my absence, it never left.
With a trembling heart, I took a deep breath and stood before Jun’s front door, neatly aligning my feet. I didn’t have the courage to press the doorbell without any mental preparation.
Was Jun really on the other side of this door?
Just that single thought shrank the space inside my chest so violently that it brought a sharp ache, forcing me to exhale quickly.
I moved my finger toward the doorbell beside the door—but just before my fingertip touched the round button, my heart pounded so fiercely I couldn’t bear it. I jerked my hand back immediately.
If I pressed that bell, there’d be no avoiding a meeting with Jun. My unready heart made me pace back and forth in front of the door again and again.
Just as I took a deep breath and reached for the bell once more, the door suddenly swung open right in front of me.
Through the open doorway, a man spoke before I could even collect myself:
“Were you chanting some magic spell to open the door? What are you doing just standing there?”
I recognized him instantly. It was Jun.
That gruff voice. Those eyebrows furrowed as if annoyed—but still those warm, puppy-like eyes that held me gently. Even his light brown hair, shimmering under sunlight that seemed to exist only around this house.
The image of Jun as a twenty-year-old boy from my memory overlaid perfectly onto the man standing before me now.
“I saw you come through the front gate a while ago…”
I forced myself to keep my eyes locked on Jun. He tilted his head slightly, looking down at me with a stubborn expression.
“What, has it been so long you don’t recognize me? Did you erase me from your memory? Is it hard to bring me back now?”
It felt so unreal—so impossible to believe Jun was truly standing before me—that I kept gazing at his eyes, nose, and lips as if tracing them, only for those harsh words to come back at me.
Seeing me unable to utter a single word through my parted lips, Jun said,
“Then take a good look. It’s really me—the Kim Jun you remember.”
I swallowed quietly, trying not to let it show. Was it because my heart was racing? My gaze, lowering briefly before lifting again, wavered.
Everywhere Jun’s eyes touched, heat seemed to spread through me. Finally turning my eyes away from him toward the doorframe, I offered an awkward greeting—as stiff as the air surrounding us.
“Have you… been well?”
Male lead fell into her trap — and shattered when she walked away
This is also on my reread list!
This one is a slow burn, but when it burns, it burns hard.
Definitely worth a read, y’all!
The story follows a thousand-year-old seductive spirit who, on a bet, sets out to charm the male lead—a once-promising but unfortunate cultivator.
But just when she succeeds in making him fall for her, she heartlessly leaves, driving him to madness.
Determined to find her at all costs, he captures her, keeping her by his side no matter what, even if she hates him.
I love this kind of trope—I enjoy watching the male lead suffer in agony.
The ending drags a bit with unnecessary filler, but that’s fine.
As long as I enjoy the beginning, I’m good.
Intro
As an enchantress, Su Heng possesses captivating eyes and charming beauty, easily manipulating the joys and sorrows of living beings at her fingertips.
But to enchant a god, making him taste the bitterness of love’s separation, long-lasting resentment, unattainable desires, and inability to let go…
Do you dare?
Su Heng assists a divine lord in his cultivation, aiming to make him experience all the sufferings of love, so that he can attain the Great Dao.
Only after being chased down from the heavens by the divine lord, confined and completely possessed by him, does she realize how successful she has been.
The once gentle and polite youth has transformed into someone she no longer recognizes.
[Touch the gear icon in the bottom right corner of the screen to move to the next chapter if you want.]
Most Commented This Week
The Villain Has Gone Mad For Me (Completed Main Story)
I’m The Lowest-Ranking Daughter Of A Martial Arts Villain (2 Chapters Left to Complete)
I Became the Assassin Family’s Foster Daughter (Completed Main Story)
The Duke Only Needs My Child (Completed Main Story)
Men of the Harem (137 Chapters Left to Complete)
At the End of Ruin, There You Are (56 Chapters Left to Complete)
She’s a Villainess but her Husband is Handsome (Completed Main Story)
People Aren’t Meant to Be Fixed! (4 Chapters Left to Complete)
My Discarded Fiancé Returned (Completed Main Story)
Summer Must Die (16 Chapters Left to Complete)
I Received The First Time Of My Extraordinary Superior (9 Chapters Left to Complete)
Regret With All Your Might (Completed Main Story)