All My Firsts Are You (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 11
“Wow, the air here is really fresh. So this is the house where Ha Ru’s first love used to live?”
My hand, about to close the door, froze in place and couldn’t move any further. An indescribable sensation—whether shivers or fear—I couldn’t tell, began rising uncontrollably. In that moment, the only sound I could hear was the rough pounding of my heart against my chest.
“Are you alright?”
Secretary Yoon, who had already stepped toward the front door beyond the garden, glanced back at me with a questioning look. I gave a slight nod, gently ushering her inside, then turned around.
“Ha….”
I exhaled sharply, as if forcing out the breath that had built up from my racing heartbeat.
“Excuse me… Are you perhaps the owner of this house?”
I stared at the man who’d approached me with somewhat awkward English. My fingertips trembled. I clenched my fist behind my back.
“What do you need?”
“Oh, you’re Korean! Hello. We’re from NJ TV in Korea. We’re not suspicious people or anything. Oh, but before that—just to confirm—are you the homeowner?”
“…Yes, I am.”
“Oh, my name is Kim Hyun Su. And here’s my business card.”
I took the card with a firm, almost snatching motion, trying to steady my still-shaking fingers. By now, a woman named Seo Jung Eun had joined him and began explaining various details. She went on at length about the program’s name and purpose, but honestly, none of it registered in my ears—
until I heard that final sentence.
She started again, rambling on about house rental procedures and duration—things I had zero interest in. My gaze drifted downward, growing blank.
The moment I’d been waiting for all along had arrived without any warning.
Your absence had become my everyday reality, and missing you had settled into a dull ache inside me. That’s why I hadn’t even realized I’d been waiting for this very moment—one that would shake up my routine.
Her voice buzzed distantly past my ears, as if from far away.
Just then—
“The person who shared that story happens to be a fellow broadcast writer like us, so we came together, but something came up and they couldn’t accompany us all the way here.”
Did I just hear that correctly? Was she really saying you’re here right now? Could that actually be true?
Only now did I feel an unbearable heat welling up from my chest, spreading all the way up to my throat.
“So, for that reason, we’ve come to ask if you’d be willing to cooperate with our filming.”
“Cooperate with filming?”
“Yes.”
“The person who should make that request must come here themselves.”
“…Excuse me?”
“You just came here asking me to cooperate with filming, right? I’m simply telling you that you’ve directed your request to the wrong person.”
“Oh, but—”
“You mentioned the storyteller met their first love in this house nine years ago, and that the homeowner hasn’t changed since. Since I’m the only guy my age who’s ever lived here, I assume I must be that first love you’re talking about.”
I looked firmly at her stunned expression. I knew perfectly well I was taking my frustration out on the wrong person—but I couldn’t stop myself either.
“So… are you Kim Jun, then?”
“Seems you remembered my name pretty well after all.”
“…”
“If you need my cooperation for filming, please tell Lee Ha Ru to come here in person and ask me herself.”
“…”
Just as I was about to turn away, saying I’d go inside if she had nothing else to add, a sudden thought caught my foot mid-step.
Lee Ha Ru, there was something I always wanted to ask you, just in case we met again someday. Since you’re doing a show now, I’ll ask you my way this time. I’m actually looking forward to your answer.
“Oh, and there’s one condition.”
“A condition?”
“Yes. One condition for my full cooperation with your filming. If that one condition is met, I’m willing to assist with everything your station needs. Of course, this only applies if Lee Ha Ru accepts the condition herself.”
After a long pause, Jung Eun finally managed to speak.
“Kim Jun… he seemed to come with his girlfriend. To that house where you did your homestay.”
Under the table, I tightly clasped my neatly folded hands, pressing my thumbnail hard into my index finger. That’s how I forcibly muffled the alarm-level vibrations trembling through my chest.
“I see.”
“We couldn’t get a good look—he immediately invited us inside as soon as we approached. Anyway, that’s not really important.”
I didn’t want Jung Eun to see this tender ache inside me—something I couldn’t even define clearly myself.
The persistent trembling in my chest felt like it was mocking me, as if I were still a naive twenty-year-old—tap-tap-tapping playfully against my heart, urging me to just admit it already.
“But… was that why you were hesitating this whole time? Were you worried I’d be disappointed or something?”
Afraid my trembling heart might betray the words I’d just spoken, I instinctively pressed my thumbnail down even harder.
“If that’s truly why, then you really didn’t need to worry at all.”
It wouldn’t be strange at all for a man’s first love from nine years ago to have a girlfriend now. Even if I happened to learn about it by chance, I had no right whatsoever to say anything more.
In fact, showing any emotion here at all seemed disrespectful to him.
Perhaps it was guilt—after all, I was the one who’d ruined the memory of his first love.
There was nothing ongoing between Jun and me anymore. I shouldn’t be reacting like this. That chapter of my life had long since ended, long after the final period was placed.
Unaware of these thoughts, Jung Eun spoke softly.
“If you just hear that and feel disappointed, that’s fine. After all, we didn’t come here to find your first love. But since he’s clearly the homeowner, we’ll inevitably get tangled up with him until filming wraps. And if, without even realizing it, you’re still missing him… every time you see him with his girlfriend, won’t it just tear you apart inside? That’s what I…”
I took a breath and spoke as calmly as I could.
“No, not at all?”
My voice—clear and bright like the blue sky—snapped Jung Eun’s wandering gaze right back to me.
“My heart’s perfectly fine. Really, really okay. Ah, but I can’t exactly prove it, which is kind of awkward.”
Confusion flickered in Jung Eun’s eyes. Not missing that fleeting emotion, I spoke with even more conviction than before.
“You didn’t seriously expect me to burst into tears saying, ‘How could he have a girlfriend? I thought he’d wait for me forever!’—did you?”
“…”
My reaction was so different from what she’d anticipated that Jung Eun could only stare at me blankly. I understood. Knowing the Jung Eun I know, she must have watched me waver the whole way here, thinking about Jun, yet chose to pretend not to notice.
But I didn’t want her to see any more. No—I wanted her, if possible, to believe I held absolutely no lingering feelings for Jun anymore. So I spoke as if his having a girlfriend was none of my business.
I knew that if someone who knew how shaken I truly was stayed by my side, every time their pitying gaze landed on me, the emotions I’d been desperately suppressing would spiral completely out of control.
I steeled my heart.
“Seo Jung Eun, both Jun and I are already twenty-nine. That’s twenty plus nine whole years. If he has a girlfriend, fine; if he’s married, so be it—it’s something to congratulate him on. We’re surely mature enough for that kind of cool, polite exchange. And if we feel like it, even old enough to generously add a fat wedding envelope.”
“…Are you serious? Can you back up that expression on your face right now?”
At times like this, timing matters. The longer the gap between question and answer, the more the sincerity in one’s words gets diluted.
I forced a carefree smile, wanting to appear as relaxed as possible—to match the tone of everything I’d just said. With that insincere expression, I replied,
“How would I take responsibility?”
“…Kim Jun said yes.”
“Oh, he agreed to lend us the house? Just like that?”
“…Yeah.”
Her reply felt heavy. Jung Eun paused thoughtfully for a moment, then quickly added with apparent resolve,
“He said yes on the condition that you, Ha Ru, co-write the script with him, and that he’d take on the directing role himself. So, Lee Ha Ru—now it’s your turn. Are you really okay with this? Can you do it?”
I couldn’t answer right away. Co-writing the script meant there would inevitably come a moment when Jun and I would have to walk together through the memories of the time we’d shared.
That wasn’t something I could accept merely out of goodwill from someone who happened to know video production. Especially considering the history between Jun and me—it made even less sense. My mind went dizzy, and I missed the perfect moment to reply. In the end, Jung Eun’s question hung awkwardly in the air.
Against my will, the silence between her question and my answer grew wider and wider—until the truth I’d so carefully hidden behind lies finally revealed its shameful face.
After that prolonged quiet, a cautious voice drifted into my ears.
“Ha Ru.”
I knew Jun well. He wasn’t the type to make such an offer as a mere joke or a half-hearted test. And the guilt I carried toward him erased any further hesitation or doubt I might have had.
“I’ll do it.”
“…”
Why was saying just those two words so incredibly difficult? Too many thoughts crowded my mind, blocking me from pulling the word “okay” out in time.
And that’s exactly why—
Facing emotions for Jun that I’d spent so long trying to ignore now felt overwhelming. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head side to side, as if snowball-like letters of thought were pattering down onto my shoulders with soft, rhythmic taps.
“Jung Eun-ah.”
“Hmm?”
Only then did Jung Eun, lost in her own thoughts just like me, finally meet my eyes.
“I’ll take on that script job.”
“You mean it?”
“It’s my memory, my story with Jun. Nobody can write it better than the two of us. Plus, Jun’s a film director—a professional. With his help and adjustments, the quality’s guaranteed.”
And, above all else—
“My first love lasted far too long. I’m ready to finally let it go. So wouldn’t it be nice to tie a proper knot on it together with him?”
I spoke the sentence like a firm resolution—to finally close the chapter on this first love. In that instant, all those swirling thoughts scattered at once, tumbling in dizzying heaps onto my shoulders, arms, legs, disordered and free.
As if I no longer needed to carry those old thoughts anymore.
Jun had already accepted that first love—trapped as it was within just one season: winter.
If he could bring his girlfriend to that very house filled with the tender memories of our young love, then surely, by now, layers upon layers of new love must already be stacked atop those old memories.
Vaguely, I felt Jun might share the same sentiment as me—that it was time to tidy up those memories, so they’d no longer intrude unexpectedly into our lives going forward.
Neatly. Beautifully.
“Then maybe you should just go meet him. Kim Jun said the decision’s entirely yours—he’ll just wait. I’ve got his number, but he said it doesn’t matter whether you call ahead or not. Just come straight to his house once you’ve decided.”
“To his house?”
Hah. How foolish. Just moments ago, I’d firmly declared I’d work with Jun—and now, upon hearing he’s waiting for me there, I couldn’t even keep my composure, flustered all over again.
“Well, where else would he be? Does that guy seriously own multiple vacation homes or something?”
Jung Eun’s right corner of the mouth lifted slightly in a half-smile before quickly falling again—probably weighed down by lingering worry for me.
“Ha Ru, now that you’ve made your decision, just go. You really want to go there, don’t you? As you said—tie everything up, one thread at a time. Bind those memories tightly so they’ll never make you wobble again. I think you’re right. Maybe that’s exactly what was missing all along—instead of just letting them linger uselessly, bittersweetly.”
“Yeah. I will. I really will.”
It sounded like words meant to reassure Jung Eun—but in truth, it was a promise to myself.
I absolutely had to do it. Together with Jun, each of us holding one end of that thread, we’d tightly, thoroughly tie up every single one of those memories.
Male lead first thought she played hard to get, only to realize she
really disliked him
Short intro:
What she can’t stand the most is the streets full of effeminate men, especially that so-called top beauty whom she avoids at all costs.
Shen Yaoxing looks at Jiang Mingyue, who keeps approaching her with coy shyness.
Shen Yaoxing: Bro, don’t be like this, I’m really about to throw up!
She fears nothing in heaven or earth, except for him getting close to her.
*
At first he thought she was just using the trick of feigning indifference to attract his attention. Later, he learned that she truly despised him.
This dealt a heavy blow to Jiang Mingyue, and he vowed to make her, like everyone else, fall at his feet in worship!
***
Synopsis:
Before transmigrating, Shen Yaoxing only wanted to find a reliable man to spend her life with. Who knew that after transmigrating, she would become a reliable woman herself…
A forced misandrist, highly skilled, and reliable female lead
vs.
An initially aloof and arrogant, later morbid, obsessed male lead
_____
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