There Is No Paradise Where I Ran Away To (14 Chapters Left to Complete) - Chapter 39
A thin ray of light slipped through the gap in the blackout curtains, casting a slanted line across the floor. Edwin, who had woken early, buried himself in the ticking of the clock without ringing the bell.
Vivian Ebelline, who was due to appear alongside the servants at the proper hour, would first fling open the bedroom curtains—and then their eyes would inevitably meet. Naturally, he could already picture her awkward, uneasy, and strangely stiff smile.
Of course, recalling Vivian’s sullen face all through last night, she now seemed likely to behave far more roughly and bluntly than usual.
Even that mere imagination filled Edwin’s morning with anticipation.
But today was an exception.
Before the hour had even properly arrived, Vivian barged in, flinging the door open with such violence that it felt like a full-scale invasion.
No one dared enter Edwin’s room without knocking or any prior notice.
“Your Grace! Your Grace! Are you awa— Oh, you’re already up.”
Without hesitation, Vivian marched straight to the bed, committing countless impertinences, and capped off her morning’s disgrace by grabbing the master of the house by the arm and shaking him awake. As soon as Edwin sat up groggily, she instantly straightened her shoulders and spine, as if her previous rudeness had never occurred.
“Your Grace, just now I—”
“Open the curtains first.”
Edwin needed to gently remind Vivian, whose tone had been edged with impatience. “Ah!” Vivian gave a small sound, circled the bed, walked to the window, and drew back the curtains. Immediately, the fresh and noble morning light flooded the bedroom.
“So what urgent business brings you storming in at dawn?”
“Do you have any idea what I just saw?”
“What did you see?”
Vivian’s face, now visible in the bright sunlight, was paler than he’d expected—a look that stirred curiosity about what had ruined her day.
“I found Theo’s letter—the one that arrived yesterday—just now.”
He was confronted with that irritating name right at breakfast.
Lately, the two had rarely exchanged letters; it had become so infrequent that one could fairly say they’d severed contact altogether.
Theo’s letters to Vivian were usually sorted through by Loic, as Edwin had grown weary even of that excessively verbose, cloying handwriting—endlessly inquiring after her well-being, worrying, and offering hollow comfort. Since Loic hadn’t mentioned anything unusual about the letter, Edwin assumed it had safely reached Vivian and likely contained nothing particularly surprising.
“When you sent Miss Windler away from the estate, did you truly send her off with absolutely nothing? No suitable lodging arranged, no small safeguard whatsoever—just the two of them, Merian and her, left alone?”
Edwin pondered why the topic had shifted from Theo’s letter to Charlotte.
Ah—Charlotte must have gone to see Evans.
Though a hollow chuckle escaped Edwin at this conclusion, he couldn’t help but admire what he considered sensible conduct on her part. Unlike the unperturbed Edwin, Vivian was utterly shocked and pressed a hand to her forehead.
“When I heard that Your Grace had sent Miss Windler away, I assumed it was merely a scolding! Or perhaps that you’d sent her back to Rottermond! What would she have done if Theo hadn’t been in the village?”
Her melodic scolding filled the bedroom. Instead of arguing, Edwin simply leaned back against the headboard and quietly observed this unfamiliar side of her.
“How could you possibly neglect a grown young lady like that? What if something had happened? My heart nearly stopped just thinking about it. I’ll go down to the village right away and bring Miss Windler back. Please, allow me.”
Having scolded and reproached him, Vivian now shifted to pleading for compromise. Edwin rose from the bed and poured a full glass from the water pitcher on the table. Vivian, who had followed him closely, waited expectantly the moment he set the glass down.
“Charlotte will not be returning to the estate.”
Her shoulders slumped in immediate disappointment at his discouraging reply.
“Therefore, tell Evans: if he doesn’t intend to raise Charlotte himself, he should hurry and send her away.”
“Your Grace!”
When Edwin turned in response to her call, he simply shrugged innocently and left the room. Undeterred, Vivian continued her nagging—disguised as persuasion—toward his retreating back.
“It’ll be dangerous if she stays out there any longer! You’re Miss Windler’s legal guardian, after all. How can you leave an unmarried young lady so utterly unprotected?”
“Should a ward be forgiven for defying and refusing to obey her guardian’s warnings?”
“She’s still young—that’s why. Everyone makes mistakes when they’re young.”
He halted, turned back toward Vivian with a gentle smile.
“Just like you did to me fourteen years ago?”
Her gray eyes rippled with surprise at this unexpected strike. If Edwin’s aim had been to silence her ceaseless lecturing, he’d succeeded. Reading the sudden stillness on her face, he smiled faintly.
“A few days ago, Baron Zimmermann sent a letter saying he wouldn’t marry. Charlotte has achieved her goal. Doesn’t that mean she should also bear responsibility? I’ve given her ample time, and if she still wishes to carve out her own life, I won’t stop her. But she must relinquish everything she’s enjoyed up to now—even if it means giving up safety.”
She hadn’t imagined he’d be this harsh just because she’d supposedly tormented him through Merian. Still, considering the broken engagement behind it all, she couldn’t entirely fail to understand his anger.
How could he be so heartless?
Vivian felt more pity than resentment toward Charlotte. That’s why she wanted to overstep her bounds—to rescue Charlotte from this crisis. She wished Edwin, Charlotte’s only family, would understand why Charlotte had been so adamantly opposed to marriage.
“She… has someone she loves.”
She immediately regretted saying it. His indifferent expression clearly showed he wouldn’t care about Charlotte’s pitiful circumstances.
“Love?”
His retort was laced with derision. Had Charlotte heard it herself, she would undoubtedly have been deeply wounded.
His decision was utterly unshakable—no amount of persuasion would move him. Unable to abandon Charlotte in peril, Vivian stepped directly into his path as he turned to leave. Though it went against her pride, if this was the only way, she was willing to swallow it.
“Your Grace, I beg you—please let Miss Windler return to the estate. I’ll… plead with you like this. All right?”
It was a coquettish act meant to tempt—but carefully restrained so as not to seem burdensome.
Her downturned eyes glistened with unshed tears, yet only cold, indifferent gazes settled upon her.
“I’ll persuade Miss Windler myself. Since the Baron clearly holds deep affection, if Miss Windler changes her mind, he’ll agree to marry her. So… couldn’t you forgive Miss Windler just this once?”
Her soft voice resembled the southern wind that melts winter’s frost—clearly intentional, undeniably calculated. Whenever she tried to save someone else, she always lowered her proud nose. It was a boring habit and an uninteresting reflex.
Ebelline needed to understand this:
Exactly what her counterpart truly wanted.
“You’ve become shameless.”
It was a raw, coarse remark—completely unfiltered—the likes of which she’d never heard before. Among all the rumors, no one had ever dared call her shameless to her face.
Vivian pressed a hand to her wounded heart, stunned into silence with lips tightly sealed.
“Do you think that just because you’ve found some weakness of mine, I’ll give you whatever you want?”
Caught out and utterly embarrassed, her cheeks burned crimson. She averted her eyes and nervously rubbed only the tips of her fingers. As his shadow moved away, only a sorrowful woman remained, standing alone in that spot.
***
“Brother! Miss Ebelline came to fetch Windler! Mother said to hurry and bring you at once!”
Unaware of the summer heat, Theo sprinted, familiar scenery rushing past him. His younger sibling, who had been running alongside, soon fell behind. Even as his breath reached his throat and an unseen tree branch scratched his forehead, he didn’t stop.
As he entered the village lane, he spotted a carriage waiting in front of the house—it belonged to House Beitnes. Vivian, Charlotte, and Merian emerged one by one through the opening front door, followed by their mother, who looked regretful.
“Our Henry walks rather slowly, doesn’t he? Thanks to that, Theo will be dreadfully disappointed.”
“It’s not as if today’s the last time, Madam. I’ll be back again soon—to fetch our Miss Windler…”
“Miss!”
At the shout that seemed to shake the sky, all their gazes turned toward one spot. Theo, panting heavily, summoned his last strength and sprinted. The moment he stood before Vivian, his lost senses slowly returned.
His shirt and hair were soaked with sweat, his thighs twitched as if about to burst. His chest heaved rapidly, gulping down sweet air in desperate gasps.
“Theo!”
Vivian’s face lit up with a bright smile at the sight of him. Contrary to what Charlotte had described, Vivian’s complexion was radiant and clear.
Theo quickly scanned Vivian—any injuries, any pain? He’d worried she might be worn down from hard labor, but apart from a dress he’d never seen before, there were no visible signs of hardship. Relieved, he sighed inwardly.
“Why did you run so hard? You must be exhausted.”
“How could I not run when I heard you’d come, Miss?”
“We’ll see each other again soon.”
Even if they saw each other every day, he feared tomorrow might bring separation.
Suppressing his bitter sincerity, Theo looked at Vivian’s dress. Noticing his gaze, Vivian absently adjusted her clothes—clearly worried he might sense his anxiety if he learned it came from the Duke.
“It’s… from the Duke, so don’t worry. He said my old clothes were too dirty, and yours were too fancy, so I’d need something simple to wear. Since I didn’t really have anything suitable, I accepted it right away.”
Just changing one dress had earned Vivian Theo’s remorse; he smiled bitterly, deeply regretting his past judgments.
“I heard—you took a maid’s job to earn money.”
Expecting Charlotte had already shared the details, Vivian maintained a relatively composed expression—though she seemed slightly nervous about what scolding might come next, and forced a smile to smooth things over.
“I’m… not anymore. I was dismissed.”
“You’re truly admirable, Miss.”
Vivian’s eyes widened in surprise at this unexpected response.
“That couldn’t have been an easy choice—I’m so proud of you. I’m sure Mr. Ebelline would say the same.”
Hearing such warm encouragement and praise from a close friend, Vivian beamed with renewed vigor.
So this was it—what you truly needed.
That bright, clear smile could never blossom amid worry or anxiety. It had grown beautifully in trust and confidence.
“Thank you, Theo. The work really was tough. I’ll tell you all about it later—how hard I had to struggle just to earn a single egg.”
Seeing Vivian joke for the first time in a while, Theo finally relaxed.
She wasn’t someone who broke easily. On the contrary, she was strong and resilient. It was his own prejudice that had confined Vivian and driven them apart.
***
On the road back to the estate, the three women in the carriage sat silently. Only the sound of the wheels rolling in through the open window broke the quiet. Charlotte, who had kept her head lowered, slowly raised her eyes.
Her gaze met Vivian’s gray eyes. More precisely, Vivian’s eyes hadn’t left Charlotte since the moment they’d boarded the carriage.
Vivian was waiting. And Charlotte knew exactly what she was waiting for.
“…Miss Ebelline.”
This was her only chance. Once back at the estate, she’d surely never find the courage—let alone the opportunity—to speak again. She had to say it now. Even if she’d be called shameless, she knew better than to miss the right moment.
“I’m… truly sorry. And thank you.”
Charlotte’s eyes remained fixed on her hands, neatly folded over her lap—until another hand suddenly entered her field of vision and reached for hers.
Startled, she snapped her head up. Vivian, expression calm, firmly grasped Charlotte’s hand.
“I want to hear what you’re sorry for and what you’re grateful for. Tell me, Miss Windler.”
Despite having endured that humiliation, Vivian had never once shot Charlotte a sharp look. Instead, she’d gifted her a hat and, after receiving Theo’s letter, had persuaded Edwin to come all the way here.
I am endlessly small, yet you are endlessly kind.
At that realization, Charlotte’s eyes grew hot with unshed tears.
“For speaking ill of you, Miss Ebelline… I spoke with malice and said things that weren’t true. Yet you still persuaded the Duke—I’m truly grateful… It might be hard to believe, but I never ordered Merian to torment you.”
“It’s true, Miss! Miss Windler never told me to do anything—I did it all myself. I’m so sorry, Miss…”
Vivian, who had been looking back and forth between them, paused thoughtfully, then sat up straight. As the comforting warmth vanished, Charlotte flinched in sudden fear.
“I’ll believe you. And I’ll forget it.”
But Vivian’s forgiveness thawed Charlotte’s frozen blood. Greatly relieved, large doll-like tears—sweet as candy—spilled from Charlotte’s eyes.
“Truthfully, your words hurt me deeply. When I heard the rumor that you’d ordered Merian to attack me, I was wounded—but over time, that pain faded easily. Isn’t that strange?”
Now, she could find no more reason to hate Vivian. She vaguely sensed that his heart had already crossed an irreversible river—far beyond her ability to win his affection, attention, or time.
“Whenever I look at you, Miss Windler, I strangely find myself looking for my own reflection. Because I remember going through such difficult times, I hope you won’t have to endure them. I don’t have a younger sister, but perhaps… I see you as one.”
Charlotte Windler’s love had ended.
It was a first love that could never be confessed, a hopeless crush on the one who was simultaneously her only family and sole protector.
Though she could never be a woman to him, the days when she’d longed to be one more than anyone else were now time to bury deep within her heart—and Charlotte could no longer hold back her tears.
So from now on, let’s get along well.
Vivian’s gentle voice was sweet—but painfully so.
Male lead is a Love-Obsessed Merman
When he discovers she has gone, he risks everything to pursue her on land, enduring agonizing pain to transform his tail into human legs…
One-line summary: Male lead chases female lead. The male lead’s love is a bit sick, an invincible love brain.
Synopsis
During a voyage at sea, Jiang Yang accidentally captures a merman.
Servant: I heard that mermen are fierce and brutal.
Jiang Yang looks at the merman obediently rubbing her palm like a puppy: “You call this fierce and brutal?”
Servant: I heard that mermen have no human nature.
Jiang Yang looks at the merman with wet puppy eyes, obsessively calling her ‘A Yang’ like a childish infant: “You call this having no human nature?”
With great difficulty, she releases the merman back into the sea and returns to shore.
Who would have thought that in less than half a month, the merman, who should have been freely wandering in the South China Sea, would shed his scales, endure the pain of losing his tail, transform into human legs, and come ashore to find her?
He kneels at her feet, rubbing her palm, with merman tears rolling down: “A Yang, don’t abandon me.”
_____
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