174.

A sense of impatience rapidly overtook him. An intensely fevered heat rose, making his entire breathing passage hot. Johannes tried to breathe softly. Although Inette was not one to be scared anyway, he didn’t want to appear unsightly to her eyes if possible. He slowly lowered his hands, careful not to reveal too much of the whites of his eyes. And he confessed.

“You… saw correctly.”

He said.

“The thought of sending you away… I couldn’t bear it.”

Inette, who was clinging to Johannes’ shoulder with her chest pressed against it, looked at his nape with a puzzled gaze. Johannes gently wrapped his arm around her waist. Slowly, he pulled her towards himself.

“Really? Just for such a reason, your body became this burning ember?”

Inette asked nonchalantly, seemingly unaware or uncaring that she was being gradually drawn in. Johannes, trying to remain calm, answered sincerely and meticulously.

“Yes.”

“Liar.”

“If it were truly a lie, I’d be glad too.”

“You should have shown it somehow.”

“I did.”

“When?”

“Throughout this entire night.”

“Did you?”

“…”

“…”

“You, really…”

“Sorry. I’m sorry.”

Inette, finally settled on Johannes’ thigh, laughed softly. Johannes could no longer discern which part of her words and actions were sincere and which were teasing. But it didn’t matter. From today on, he could gently coax and comfort her, gradually getting her to open up. He took a silent deep breath.

“…It’s cold.”

“Ah, the blanket…”

“No. That’s fine.”

“Why?”

Johannes gently lowered his sister’s arm, which had stretched out to pull a blanket to cover him. Then he pressed his cheek against her forehead. He groaned softly deep in his throat.

“You, come up here. I prefer it that way.”

“…”

“…Do you dislike it?”

“You’re being really annoying today.”

Inette laughed as if exhaling, her bottom settling between his legs. Soon, her narrow upper body filled his chest.

“Poor Johannes, heir apparent with patience in his nature. Too naive to easily tell even his sister he’s in pain. When will you grow up to succeed your father? Shouldn’t a lord act on his whims and be unrestrained in everything?”

Her whispers, like laughter, touched his ear and neck. Johannes buried his nose in her hair. Through her hair, he whispered breathlessly, painfully.

“…I’ll try.”

Ah, so today… he would reveal all the names she hadn’t yet learned. Everything. Even his true self. Here, he believed that she would surely grasp his lifeline.

He admitted it. He himself was a beast unable to control his own claws. And his sister tamed him with ordinary voice and gestures, making him her livestock. A naive person with a delicate body who simply didn’t know to fear beasts.

If you tell me to stop, I will stop, and if you tell me to kneel, I will kneel. You, who will pity such a me, even if you remain just sisterly affection in the end, won’t be able to cast me away. Even if there’s a chance of losing you, you’ll surely give me the punishment I deserve. You’ll remain by my side like that. Tonight’s events have made me certain of it.

Only you can do it.

“Inette.”

“Yes?”

“Actually…”

Fumbling, fumbling. Johannes’ relaxed hand touched the hem of Inette’s nightgown. Eventually, he gently grasped the side of her waist as she sat on his lap.

Hurry… let me reveal myself to you. With my whole body, let me beg for your affection. Let me speak of any concern. Now that he was alone in her hands, no matter how deep his night might be, he wouldn’t dare to blur anything but the white point of her palm. Finally… finally, will you strike my neck, Inette?

If possible, I want to die with you.

Just as Johannes, having made up his mind, was about to fully embrace her waist.

“Young lady…!”

The bedroom exit burst open.

The startled siblings’ gazes immediately fixed on the entrance. A very tall woman was visible. The stray hairs falling from under her headcover and slightly askew apron looked unusually disheveled. It was Griselda, with clear signs of having rushed here in such haste.

Intruder.

Johannes’ expression crumbled. Though he didn’t even furrow his brow, it was a different face as if it had torn through his skin. With a grinding sound, his canines grew long, piercing the root of his tongue and palate. A fishy, metallic taste swirled in his mouth. By the time he felt Inette’s presence as she hurriedly stood up, pressing on his shoulder, his eyes had completely rolled back and he reached out one hand. Precisely towards Griselda’s neck.

Crush the bones. What was buzzing in his head was truly a fiery murderous intent.

“Oh my…! Couldn’t you be quiet? Why are you in such a hurry in the middle of the night? Is there any need to wake up the whole household?”

If it weren’t for his sister’s hand gently pressing down on his shoulder, he would surely have struck Griselda’s neck. For Inette, it was probably just a motion to support her upper body without any particular intention, but it was enough to restrain him. Johannes’ molars immediately clenched as reason sharply returned.

“What brings you here first? What about Winfrid?”

“Young lady.”

Griselda’s gaze, which had been scanning the inner room as if searching for traces of the siblings, moved up to the bed following Inette’s voice. Having finally discovered Inette, she approached with large strides. Johannes quickly averted his gaze from Griselda. It wasn’t out of fear of being discovered at this point.

It was simply because he was struggling to control his anger. He didn’t want to leave even the slightest, no, not even a one in ten thousand chance for Inette to run away. He couldn’t look like the black leopard he had said he’d gladly die as, could he? Endure it. This is the time to endure. Calmly taking time to open up would be beneficial for everyone.

However, his eyes, which were clawing at the air instead of Griselda’s lifeline, were bloodshot, and all his muscles were tensed as if about to explode. He couldn’t even feel the pain despite the flesh in his mouth being all torn up by canines that didn’t fit his skeletal structure scraping everything inside. That’s how intense his fury was.

Griselda didn’t even glance at Johannes, who was sitting between Inette’s knees, half-risen. She treated him as if he were completely invisible.

“Forgive my rudeness.”

Of course, the apology was directed at Inette. The nanny’s hands unhesitatingly dug into his sister’s armpits. She lifted her up abruptly as if quickly removing her from something dirty. How desolate his waist and thighs felt without Inette’s body heat.

That foolish nanny was loosening her own rope, hastening her own demise. Johannes, still turning his head to the opposite side, had his finger joints bulging out as he gripped the blanket. Tuk, tuk. Now even blue veins stood out on the back of his hand. While completely motionless, only his pulse was throbbing frantically. Endure it. Endure.

“You must quickly prepare to return to your chambers. They say a messenger has arrived from the western border region. It’s already been about two hours.”

Griselda reported quickly while fixing Inette’s clothes, who was now standing upright. Inette, letting her body be manipulated like a bundle of straw in the nanny’s hands, opened and closed her mouth.

“Wh-what, what’s, the matter?”

“I’m not sure. But the atmosphere seems ominous. At this late hour, His Grace has issued a summons for the elders, they say. Ah, I was sound asleep and didn’t know a thing.”

“You mean those old men with swords?”

“Yes, yes. Those gentlemen.”

“Oh dear. Is he planning to kill several people tonight? I don’t like the smell of blood… Wait, what about Mother?”

“She would have been informed long ago. That’s why I rushed to escort you.”

“Goodness.”

After spinning around a few times as if dancing, Inette’s quite bewildered gaze finally settled on Johannes below.

“Johan.”

“Let’s go. Hurry. There’s no time to waste.”

Inette might have intended to ask his thoughts or at least say goodbye, but Griselda hardly gave her a chance. Griselda, as if there was no time to spare, swiftly lifted her small mistress and set her down at the bedside. Only then did Johannes’ profile, which had been turning away from the two women until that moment, flinch slightly.

Creaking his neck, he slowly raised his gaze from the very bottom, flicking it onto Griselda’s profile. In his pale face, only his blue eyes, covered with a film, were alive, scattering a cold light.

Ah… that woman.

In truth, the emotions he had been desperately suppressing were on the verge of bursting beyond their limit. For some inexplicable reason, he wanted to immediately kill Griselda, who always disrespected him without any fear, and quietly carry out this night’s plan with Inette. That vivid desire, not finding it unsettling at all, made him unaware of its own dangerousness. It was a hair-trigger situation. If this continued, he would inevitably cause trouble.

“Johannes.”

At the timely call, Johannes’ gaze trembled slightly. He looked at Inette while unknowingly exhaling the breath he had been holding.

“Why are you getting worked up again? I’m leaving, aren’t I?”

“…”

“Pull yourself together.”

Even in this situation, Inette frowned sulkily. Johannes, swallowing the sensation of his soul leaving him, barely managed to raise his body. Yes, get a grip on yourself. Today is not the day. Today is… not it.

Already with an unsightly body. Let’s not show a fierce appearance like a black leopard by losing reason over unnecessary things, he resolved, managing to push the anger that was about to burst back behind the root of his tongue. While he was using all his strength to compose himself, unable to even utter a simple greeting, Inette, caught by the nanny’s urgent hand, was dragged out.

She looked back at Johannes once while following the nanny with hurried steps. Just before stepping out into the corridor where the torchlight flickered like midday sun, she quickly mouthed:

‘I’m sorry.’

‘See you later.’

Inette’s feet crossed over to that sunny side. The heavy entrance swallowed his sister’s worried smile. Clunk, the door closed like that, and finally, Johannes was left alone in the dark bedroom.

The sudden silence was overwhelming.

The entire air in the inner room, which had turned black as if a heavy rainstorm had just passed, was in a mess. It was a chaos that would perfectly match the stench of rotten soil from a graveyard.

Whether due to the unresolvable anger, his entire vision was dizzyingly red. In contrast, his senses were painfully clear. Left alone, Johannes stared blankly into space with blurred focus, then explored his changed body as if feeling it with all his nerves.

From the membrane covering the whites of his eyes to the canines that had pierced his palate and even his hands with raised nails like some time in the ancient past. Even without deliberately checking with his eyes, it was as vivid as if burned, and he could even feel the flow of blood circulating through his entire body along the blood vessels. Even the voices of the two women walking quickly down the corridor were clear to Johannes’ eardrums.

Ah. Inette is calling the nanny.

“Griselda… Griselda. Is Father perhaps going to leave?”

“Well… I haven’t heard anything definite yet either…”

“I hope he’ll behead people on that hill outside the fortress… but if he plans to be away for long, I hope he takes Mother with him. Father often goes out for ten days, two weeks, sometimes even a full month. I don’t like spending long days and nights alone with that crazy woman again…”

“…”

“A daughter of Valdemar shouldn’t speak such weak words. But you understand how I feel, don’t you?”

“Of course. How distressing it must be for you.”

“Thank you. Without your help, I might have died long ago.”

“Don’t say such ominous things. You know it’s not far off now, don’t you? Until then, you’ll do splendidly. Like any well-respected noble lady…”

The sound of two light footsteps gradually faded away. Soon, there was noise of Griselda arguing with two guards in front of the chambers.

Even the sound of a small body flopping onto the chamber bed. Thump thump, thump thump. It sounded as close as the pulse beating in his blood vessels. Even the sound of his sister’s golden hair scattering and falling to the floor below the bed, rustle rustle…. Too close. Ah….

Inette.

Johannes stood still, unable to move. He had to tremble up to his chest to restrain his legs that wanted to immediately follow his sister’s shadow. Now he cupped his completely blue hands, like weapons, over his deeply bowed face. If there had been no interruption, it would have been a night where the siblings could have been alone safely, just blissfully. His heart ached with the mix of unquenched thirst, lingering attachment, and anger.

Johannes brooded for a long time. He was truly ill now, not even realizing that he was far from normal. The tower he had never built seemed like an eternally unclimbable cliff, and beneath it, his crazed reason couldn’t even burn out completely as the night faded.

Haah….

Haah….

Haah….

……