If You Want To Possess Me (9 Chapters Left to Complete) - Chapter 11
“…Seyard?”
Kisa, instantly wide awake, blinked and stared at him.
“Yes, it’s me.”
The pleasant, melodious voice from her memory. This wasn’t a dream—it really was Seyard.
“Wha—when did you get here—!”
Seeing Seyard place a finger to his lips reminded her that this was a library, a place demanding decorum. Kisa hastily lowered her voice.
“How long have you been here?”
Seyard answered with his usual composure.
“About ten minutes, perhaps?”
Good heavens. That long? Even if she’d been deep in sleep, she hadn’t noticed him opening the door and entering—not to mention that he’d witnessed her in such an embarrassing state.
“…You could’ve said something when you arrived.”
“Would that have been better? My apologies—I didn’t wish to disturb you. You seemed to be sleeping so soundly.”
Apparently, in his eyes, she’d appeared genuinely asleep, not just dozing off. Flustered beyond words, she covered her face with both hands, wishing she could vanish into a mousehole.
“Please forget what you saw just now.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s embarrassing.”
“Not at all. Sleepiness is simply a natural physiological response.”
Yet, as a noble lady raised under Count Bansfeldt’s strict upbringing, such behavior was hardly presentable—especially not to others.
But for some reason, hearing it from Seyard made the incident feel far less shameful than she’d imagined. It was astonishing.
“So you were reading about theories of ownership.”
Seyard glanced at the book and whispered.
“Well… I can hardly say I’ve read it—barely a few pages.”
From his perspective, she’d taken his book recommendation only to fall asleep after reading just two pages. Indeed, it was mortifying.
Yet Seyard, seeing Kisa’s flushed face, spoke gently.
“It’s alright. There’s a saying—starting is half the battle. Simply attempting something unfamiliar is already a great step forward.”
“…Thank you for your words.”
He truly was a good person. Whereas encouragement from a noble princess once left her heart aching with distance, now warmth bloomed within her chest.
“Did you come here to read?”
Wanting to prolong the conversation, Kisa asked him an obvious question. You fool—what else would anyone come to a library for?
But Seyard’s reply surprised her.
“No. My mind was cluttered, so I wandered about to clear my thoughts—and ended up right outside this place.”
“I see.”
For the briefest moment, weariness flickered across his face before vanishing. She felt an odd sense of kinship. Even Seyard—who always seemed capable of solving any problem through sheer intellect—had his own troubles. Just like her.
“Oh, and I also came to see you, Kisa.”
“Huh?”
“While looking at the library, I just had a feeling you’d be inside.”
“…Are you joking?”
“I’m quite serious.”
Seyard’s gentle smile left Kisa flustered. Was he flirting with her? She asked herself silently, but no clear answer came to mind.
She was all too familiar with calculated charm—had the speaker been any other man, she’d have dismissed his words as mere idle flirtation and kept her distance.
Yet unlike those men who’d subtly shown interest through lingering glances, Seyard’s demeanor remained refreshingly straightforward, making it hard to judge his intent.
After a brief internal debate, Kisa tentatively concluded his words and actions were simply kindness—though admittedly, her conclusion was heavily tinged with personal hope.
For some reason, she wanted their relationship to remain a pure connection born of chance encounters.
“Would you like to step outside for some fresh air? It might help shake off your drowsiness.”
She wanted to believe this invitation, too, stemmed purely from goodwill. Glancing toward the window he’d pointed to, Kisa nodded and said, “Alright.”
They exited through the library’s back door. Truthfully, Kisa had inwardly sighed in relief when Seyard first suggested the garden—using the front entrance risked running into Marsha.
“Wow, there’s no one here but us.”
“It’s rather ornamental compared to the front entrance, so it’s rarely used.”
True to his words, the garden was small and shaded by the library building, receiving little sunlight.
Moreover, it being a weekday afternoon meant the usual patrons—university students—were still in class, leaving the entire library deserted.
“You must visit the Royal Library often, Seyard?”
At her question, Seyard stroked his chin with an odd expression.
“Not really. I haven’t been in the capital long. I first came here while touring the city not long ago, and since I liked it, I’ve returned a few times.”
“Oh—you’re not originally from the capital?”
“I was born and spent my early childhood here, but due to certain circumstances, I spent most of my adolescence elsewhere.”
“I see. That’s strange—I thought your accent sounded exactly like a native of the capital.”
Side by side, they strolled through the cramped garden, where few plant varieties grew. The fresh breeze lifted her spirits considerably from how she’d felt just hours ago—dirty and worn out after trudging through mud.
“Might your return to the capital be for university?”
“Unfortunately, I’ve never attended university.”
“Oh?”
Only then did Kisa realize she’d assumed he was a student.
“I’m sorry—I misunderstood.”
“It’s alright. Nothing to apologize for. Shall we sit for a moment?”
He led her to a bench placed rather decoratively in one corner of the garden.
If he wasn’t in university, then he wasn’t a student. So why had he returned to the capital? Questions about the man seated beside her swirled in Kisa’s mind.
But prying into personal matters felt inappropriate given their casual acquaintance—so she held back. Yet Seyard spoke first.
“Do you have something you’d like to ask me?”
Their eyes met.
“You may ask. How about this? We each ask one question—fair and equal.”
“One question each?”
“Yes, and if you wish, you may ask more.”
“You mentioned earlier you had something troubling you. May I ask what it is?”
Seyard’s eyes widened slightly, clearly caught off guard. In truth, Kisa herself was more surprised—had her mouth moved before her mind could catch up?
“Oh, no—I didn’t mean—”
She tried to take it back, but Seyard answered.
“Marriage.”
Because it mirrored her own struggle, Kisa found herself listening intently. With a bitter smile, he continued,
“Due to family circumstances, I’m expected to marry a certain woman—but my heart resists it utterly. I’ve been desperately searching for a way out, but it’s proving far harder than I’d hoped.”
It was astonishing—he was actually wrestling with the exact same dilemma as her. Emboldened by this miraculous coincidence, she carefully spoke up.
“I’m in a similar situation. I’ve been forced into an engagement I never wanted.”
Seyard looked genuinely surprised.
“You too?”
“Yes. My father arranged a betrothal, and I can’t see any way to escape it.”
“…Then, was your reason for crying the first time we met also related to this?”
He looked at her with earnest eyes.
“Back then, you said you cried because you couldn’t understand Bart’s Doctrine—but to be honest, I never believed that was the whole story.”
Kisa fidgeted with her lips, unable to answer right away.
“This is my one question.”
Perhaps it was her imagination, but the hazel eyes gazing into hers carried the unmistakable weight of someone accustomed to issuing commands all their life.
“Kisa, will you answer me?”
It was the most courteous demand for an answer she’d ever heard. Half by her own will, half gently compelled by his quiet insistence, she finally spoke.
“Yes. That day, my fiancé said something cruel to me. I also discovered he was already intimately involved with another woman—more so than with me.”
It was inexplicable—this shameful secret she’d never dared reveal before princesses or noble ladies now poured freely from her lips, as if she’d been desperate for someone to ask.
“My fiancé told me I was a fool for not even knowing what Bart’s Doctrine was. That sparked my stubbornness… so I came to the library to confirm it myself…”
As she spoke, emotion surged within her. Though she paused now and then to steady her breath, she pressed on.
“I don’t know what to do. People I once held dear have suddenly grown distant—and now it feels as if they were always that way, and I was the only one who misunderstood.”
At last, tears welled in her eyes—tears she hadn’t shed even in front of Daniel or Melissa—now shown twice to a man she’d only just met.
Or perhaps… precisely because he was someone she’d just met. To Seyard, she wasn’t Lady Kisa Bansfeldt—just Kisa. A woman he happened to encounter in the library.
Without a word, he offered her his handkerchief.
“I’m fine.”
Not wanting to soil his, she reached for her own—but Seyard pressed his into her hand.
Surprisingly, his hand, touching hers for the first time, bore calluses. She’d assumed it was the soft hand of a mere reader.
Feeling too awkward to refuse, she dabbed her tears with his handkerchief. The cool scent of bergamot tickled her nostrils.
Moments later, only the soft sound of Kisa sniffing back her composure broke the garden’s silence. Though relief followed, a wave of embarrassment rushed in.
“Kisa, then…”
Seyard suddenly spoke, meeting her gaze directly.
“Will you marry me?”
Male lead first thought she played hard to get, only to realize she
really disliked him
Short intro:
What she can’t stand the most is the streets full of effeminate men, especially that so-called top beauty whom she avoids at all costs.
Shen Yaoxing looks at Jiang Mingyue, who keeps approaching her with coy shyness.
Shen Yaoxing: Bro, don’t be like this, I’m really about to throw up!
She fears nothing in heaven or earth, except for him getting close to her.
*
At first he thought she was just using the trick of feigning indifference to attract his attention. Later, he learned that she truly despised him.
This dealt a heavy blow to Jiang Mingyue, and he vowed to make her, like everyone else, fall at his feet in worship!
***
Synopsis:
Before transmigrating, Shen Yaoxing only wanted to find a reliable man to spend her life with. Who knew that after transmigrating, she would become a reliable woman herself…
A forced misandrist, highly skilled, and reliable female lead
vs.
An initially aloof and arrogant, later morbid, obsessed male lead
_____
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