The wind blew through the open window.
Kang’s hair, as she lay with her back to the window, slid across her forehead and cheeks.
San watched it for a moment and then reached out to brush her hair aside.
Kang giggled, scrunching her shoulders as if tickled.
Their eyes met, and she spoke.
“It reminds me of my childhood.”
“Childhood?”
“Yes.”
Some memories are strongly influenced by seasons or weather, imprinted with the day’s temperature, humidity, or sensations.
“When I first came to the orphanage, I was four. That’s probably when I started having nightmares.”
While many can’t remember much from a very young age, she wondered why her memories of that day were so vivid.
“My mother and I went to an old amusement park.”
She barely remembered the journey from home to the park.
Only intermittent memories of greenery outside the bus window flashed in her mind.
But memories from the moment they passed the ticket booth were incredibly vivid, even by her standards.
A cotton candy stall with a rainbow-colored parasol.
She remembered eating a big, white cotton candy there and clinging to her mother’s skirt, whining for her to hold her as they queued for the carousel.
Her mother silently held her, and when it was their turn, she asked her to get down.
She had been eager to ride the pink horse she’d eyed.
But being too short, she had to ride the smallest horse next to the golden chariot.
The pink horse she’d been eyeing was for those accompanied by guardians.
‘Can’t I ride the pink horse with mom?’
To her question, her mother just tightened her belt and leaned down to stroke her cheek.
What did her mother look like then?
Anyway, after a while of silently meeting eyes, she left.
The carousel started moving with the sound of a music box, and her mother’s figure, waving from beside the tree, was etched into her memory.
Of course, her mother’s features were blurry like a smudged painting, but the sensations, the scenery, and the temperature of that day felt as distinct as a part of her body.
Past the big tree, one round, two rounds.
Her mother disappeared,
‘……Mom?’
By the third round.
While all the other children left the ride with their parents, Kang remained alone on her horse.
She seemed to remember having a brief conversation with a staff member who found her later and saying she didn’t know a few times.
Holding a stranger’s hand, she was led to the broadcasting room at the entrance of the amusement park.
The worn-out orange sofa and the gray cement floor there.
‘Child [dash] Child [dash], we are safeguarding a lost child.’
After several announcements and as time passed, the staff glanced at her with awkward expressions.
Only then, overwhelmed by indescribable anxiety, impatience, and fear, did she realize something was wrong.
She remembers sitting in the broadcasting room, crying bitterly, and around dusk, a police car arrived.
A policewoman held the crying her.
Was it about her mother? She probably wanted to ask, but why couldn’t she speak then?
Maybe she was instinctively scared of the weight the answer might carry.
Even after a considerable amount of time, her mother’s whereabouts remained unknown.
There wasn’t a single clue, and just like that, as if she never existed, she evaporated from her life.
When she came to her senses, she found herself in an unfamiliar place, not home.
And so, Kang began her life in the orphanage.
What she thought would be a temporary stay until her mother came for her became her home, and she eventually left only when she reached adulthood, the endpoint of her care.
“Aunt Suk Hee told me that I didn’t drink a drop of water and just cried for three days straight.”
Since that day, she often dreamt of riding the carousel at the amusement park.
The blurry face of her beckoning mother, distorted in her memory, tormented her.
“Back then, Aunt Suk Hee was just someone who prepared meals. But seeing me unable to eat or sleep, she once made porridge for me.”
San listened silently to her rambling.
Suk Hee was not originally a warm-hearted person.
But the usually reticent Suk Hee had, that day, fed her the porridge she personally made and, seeing her exhausted, gently touched her head and suggested she take a nap.
During a scorching summer.
The rustling sound of leaves brushing against each other in the wind and the cicada cries from outside the window.
Every gentle sway of the fan that Suk Hee held brought a refreshing breeze that caressed Kang’s hair.
The temperature at that moment felt so good.
It wasn’t too hot or too cold, and it seemed to melt even her frozen heart.
And so, three days after arriving at the orphanage, she finally fell into a deep sleep.
San, who had been listening quietly, spoke up.
“So, you’re saying my touch now reminds you of Aunt Suk Hee?”
It was his awkward way of offering comfort.
At that, Kang chuckled.
“Yes. It’s the first time since then that someone has put me to sleep.”
“Other than that, isn’t there something more exciting?”
“I’m excited because I think I’ll sleep well tonight.”
“Let’s call it quits.”
An Indifferent Woman is the One Men Desire the Most
One-line summary: The female lead is actually cold-hearted and extremely rational. She has stage-by-stage relationships and won’t two-time, but there will always be someone who secretly likes her.
This novel has the following triggers, so if you’re sensitive to these, please don’t read:
1. The female lead has had many relationships, but she treated each one seriously and broke up properly.
It’s just that the men unilaterally pestered her incessantly. For the female lead, when she doesn’t like someone anymore, she simply doesn’t like them.
(This applies to her relationships with Male Lead 1, 2, 3, and 4 as well, but she’s loyal in each 1-on-1 relationship!)
2. In this novel, Male Lead 2 and the female lead kiss in a car, and Male Lead 1 sees it and beats up Male Lead 2.
The female lead calls the police and sends both Male Lead 1 and 2 to the police station! Male Lead 1 begs the female lead not to break up with him.
3. Male Lead 1 has a gentle appearance but an obsessive personality.
Male Lead 2 has a delicate and soft appearance, slightly green tea-like (two-faced).
Male Lead 3 is a youthful college student and a smart person who has secretly liked the female lead for a long time.
Male Lead 4 is the female lead’s father’s special assistant, a business elite with deep, hidden thoughts.
4. At the beginning of this novel, the female lead has already broken up with Male Lead 1 (Chapter 4) and gotten back together with Male Lead 2 (ex-boyfriend).
5. Enter with caution if you have triggers!!!
