“You want to be with me?”

Seong Jun met Seo Yeon’s eyes.

Her half-closed eyelids slowly opened at Seong Jun’s voice. And upon discovering the owner of the voice, her mouth parted slightly. Seo Yeon, who momentarily looked surprised, began to gaze at him intently.

Seo Yeon’s steady gaze was somehow persistent. And after a while, as if she had just remembered Seong Jun’s question, she nodded and answered.

“Yes. That’s right. I want to be with you.”

For the first time in a very long time, he could see his wife’s eyes as they were when they dated before marriage.

Almond-shaped dark brown eyes, and long eyelashes.

Her two eyes were still as deep and beautiful as Seong Jun remembered. He spoke again, keeping his gaze fixed on Seo Yeon’s eyes.

“You feel uncomfortable being with me, don’t you?”

Seo Yeon replied.

“…It is uncomfortable, but.”

Seong Jun laughed dejectedly.

She’s not denying it.

Though he had guessed it, hearing it directly from her lips left a bitter taste in his mouth.

At some point, his wife had started acting as if she’d seen a ghost whenever she saw him. He had tried to make conversation, but it was exhausting and troublesome to constantly try to get the attention of a woman who was busy avoiding him like she had committed a crime.

Even if she was the most beautiful woman, even if she was the wife he had chosen. Especially when he was in a situation where he had to clean up after his own mistakes at every moment.

“But? Not now?”

Seong Jun asked curiously.

“…It’s still uncomfortable now.”

However, the answer that came back was different from his expectations. Disappointed by Seo Yeon’s answer, Seong Jun felt irritated.

“Why. What’s so uncomfortable about me.”

“…”

Seo Yeon looked at Seong Jun for a moment with a face that seemed to be wondering if she should answer, gauging his reaction. But her hesitation was brief. A moment later, Seo Yeon gave an answer he couldn’t have imagined.

“…Everything.”

It seemed this annoying woman was going to test his patience today.

Everything?

It felt like he’d been hit hard on the back of the head.

He thought she would mention a few flaws at most and be done with it, but mocking his expectations, she said everything.

What’s wrong with me? Am I that bad?

And Seong Jun, who had suddenly become a man completely uncomfortable to his wife, felt increasingly wronged and resentful the more he thought about his current situation.

“If I’m so completely uncomfortable, why do you want to be with me, Han Seo Yeon.”

Once his mood soured, his words naturally came out unkindly. Though a warning sounded in his head that he was behaving extremely petty and childish, he couldn’t stop his spiteful feelings.

“You should keep avoiding me like before. Why.”

“…”

“Can’t even answer properly. Lowering your head frustratingly. Making this excuse and that excuse to avoid me. Right?”

“…”

“You’re best at that, aren’t you.”

At that, Seo Yeon’s face crumpled. And she looked like she was about to cry at any moment.

The face of the person who had been criticizing Seo Yeon just moments ago was now colored with confusion, as if he hadn’t expected such a situation.

His heart sank. What if she really cries? If that really happened, Seong Jun felt like he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself for today for a long time. That’s when it happened.

“Why do you always speak so meanly?”

“…!”

Suddenly, Seo Yeon made an upset expression and spoke without hiding her rising emotions.

“I avoid you because you speak so meanly, Seong Jun.”

“…”

“I’m always doing my best within what I can do. But why do you always scold me every time you see me? Is it all my fault?”

“…”

“It was just that I had no other way… It was just that I really couldn’t see any other way…”

Seong Jun’s eyes shook as if shocked. At that reaction, Seo Yeon’s expression became even more upset. And as if she had made up her mind, she shot back.

“You’re mean. Really.”

At those words, Seong Jun’s straight brow furrowed once again.

“…”

Seo Yeon was a woman who had never expressed her emotions or spoken words of resentment towards anyone throughout their married life.

When such a Seo Yeon openly criticized him and expressed her anger and emotions, at first he felt bewildered, then he wanted to know her deeper thoughts in more detail, and afterwards his mind actually became calmer.

The bewildered emotion had already disappeared from Seong Jun’s face.

And after quietly gazing at Seo Yeon for a while, he suddenly lowered his posture to meet her eyes. And asked in a serious voice.

“If I don’t speak meanly, will you stop avoiding me?”

“…!”

“Hm? Han Seo Yeon. Are you saying you won’t avoid me anymore if I do that?”

Saying that, Seong Jun took one step closer to her. As if he wanted to touch her. At that small movement, Seo Yeon’s eyes trembled lightly. And soon that trembling spread throughout her body.

“…!”

Until just now, her mind had been hazy as if she were dreaming, but when she met Seong Jun’s pitch-black eyes staring at her, her clouded mind suddenly cleared.

This moment was reality, and the man in front of her was not a dream or illusion.

“I…”

It was when the flustered Seo Yeon took a step back from him. Breaking the silence, a phone’s ringtone was heard. Seizing the opportunity, Seo Yeon hurriedly exclaimed.

“I-I’ll go to bed first.”

And with that, she turned her body and fled the scene. Even without looking back, she could feel those black eyes watching her.

*

Seo Yeon pressed her forehead and frowned.

“Why did I get drunk so quickly?”

There was no way she could get drunk on just a few glasses of wine. Rather, the problem was that no matter how much she drank, her mind stayed too clear. Even though she had gulped down five glasses in a short time, she shouldn’t have gotten this drunk.

“Ah…”

As she pondered, she realized that the point when she started drinking frequently while wandering and her alcohol tolerance increased was still in the future that hadn’t happened yet.

She hadn’t yet spent a night with her husband who was unconscious from drinking, and the baby that suddenly came and shook up her life hadn’t arrived yet.

So she hadn’t yet drunk to forget her painful heart, and the husband who was disappointed and angry at her every day seeing her like that didn’t exist anywhere yet.

If she thought about it carefully, it was obvious. But to Seo Yeon, that distant future was as vivid as if it had happened just last night and felt more like reality, so she hadn’t recalled that fact.

“Hah…”

Seo Yeon sighed deeply and sat down on the bed with a dejected face. And after a moment, she wrapped her head with a worried expression.

The reason she had suggested dinner to her husband today was because she was concerned about Seong Jun’s face, which had been frighteningly cold at her words that she would write the contract. She wanted to somehow correct yesterday’s mistake.

She had planned to create the best atmosphere possible, then mention her wish and ask him to please think positively about having a child. But…

“…He’ll think I’m an even stranger woman.”

Even before marriage, Seo Yeon would smile when she saw children walking on the street.

And she couldn’t take her eyes off them until they disappeared. To Seo Yeon, children were lovable just by existing and always made her feel good. She thought it was an instinctive feeling that everyone shared.

But her husband wasn’t like that.

He always looked at Seo Yeon curiously as she couldn’t take her eyes off children. He even cut off the nagging of elderly relatives asking when they would have a child, saying he had no such plans at all.

The reason was that he had no time to devote to children. He said it seemed like a waste of time. So when Seo Yeon told him she was pregnant, she was even more nervous.

Fortunately, unlike Seo Yeon’s worries, Seong Jun didn’t deny the child or call it a mistake at that time.

Rather, he surprised her every day with a clearly different attitude than before.

But Seo Yeon still couldn’t shake off her worries.

There was no way he would readily accept if his wife, who suddenly started sleeping in a separate room, asked him to cooperate in having a child.

Seo Yeon recalled Seong Jun’s face as he seriously asked if she would stop avoiding him if he didn’t speak meanly.

The pair of black eyes focused entirely on Seo Yeon herself made her mistakenly think that Seong Jun, just like her, was waiting for a chance to get closer to her.

“That’s nonsense.”

Seo Yeon got up from her seat, appalled at the thought that had come to her mind. “How could I misunderstand like that.”

When she thought that it might be a reflection of her own expectations, Seo Yeon felt a corner of her heart grow colder.

It was as if her past self was coldly mocking her present self for still having such expectations when she knew from the beginning that her husband had a woman.

Her phone was still full of messages from the woman who was her husband’s lover.

“How pathetic.”

After muttering with a gloomy face, lost in self-loathing for a while, Seo Yeon lightly slapped both her cheeks with her hands as if to snap out of it.

Worrying about a reality that couldn’t be changed was a luxury. Now she only needed to think about the reality she could change. With that determination, Seo Yeon’s eyes lit up.