“You ungrateful wretch! You despicable bastard! Is this how a child treats their parents? Is this how I raised you?”

Eida’s thunderous shouts could be heard from beyond the door, but they did not reach Edric’s ears at all.

His consciousness did not shift even slightly from the snow-white baby clothes laid out before him.

‘I’ll make the baby’s clothes with this.’

One day, after entering a stable period of pregnancy, Melly showed him a roll of cotton cloth and said those words.

At that time, her face was filled with joy.

‘Think about it. The first clothes the baby wears when it’s born into the world will be made by me. Isn’t that amazing?’

She didn’t want to fail at making the baby’s first clothes, so she practiced repeatedly, pricking her fingers countless times with the needle. During that time, her hands were always wrapped in bandages, and her body was covered in lint from the practice fabric like barnacles.

But before she could even use the skills she had honed through all that practice, the baby died.

‘It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.’

The image of her face as she blamed herself, beating her chest, came to mind.

She despaired and grieved as if the world had fallen apart. Edric comforted her and grieved alongside her, but in truth, it was somewhat of an act.

When he heard that Melly had misstepped and fallen down the stairs, what made him rush over with a pale face, pushing aside even important meetings, was not concern for the baby’s life or death, but for Melly’s well-being.

Whether she was safe – that was all that mattered.

When he opened the door and entered, he saw Melly lying down with an IV in her wrist. Seeing her chest rise and fall regularly above the white blanket, he felt relieved.

They could have another child. No, at that moment, he felt it would be fine even without a child.

What was important was Melly.

Even though she might not think so…

‘Is it because my body is weak?’

He vividly remembered her deflated appearance as she thought her inability to conceive was due to her inadequate body.

The memory of her forced bright smile as she diligently took her medicine and said she would conceive a child soon, and her trusting and reliant attitude towards his mother – all of these memories surfaced at once, sharply clawing at Edric’s heart.

His vision blurred.

Transparent streams of tears flowed down his cheeks, gathering at his elegant jawline.

He pushed the baby clothes aside before the teardrops could wet them.

This was the second time he cried out of remorse and self-blame. He used to think that only the incompetent and weak cried, but now he could no longer mock them.

For he was even more incompetent and weak than they were.

He was being punished.

He was enduring the punishment meted out by the woman he had taken for granted and thought insignificant. The punishment was so cold and cruel that he was barely enduring each moment.

“Melly.”

Edric called out his wife’s name, burying his face in his palms as he propped up his arms.

“Melly. Melly, Melly…”

He could say nothing but her name.

Even saying sorry, admitting his wrongs, or asking for forgiveness felt like a sin to him.

How casually had he dismissed her desire to find the child she had lost?

‘That’s enough, isn’t it? I’d rather you put more effort into acquiring the dignity befitting a duchess than pursuing an impossible pregnancy.’

How harshly had he lectured her, ignoring her fervent desire for pregnancy?

Despite this, Melly never once got angry and followed his words, cutting into the cotton cloth she had cherished and sticking needles into it with a heart-wrenching feeling.

Not for her own child, but for the child in the Crown Princess’s womb. No, for her heartless husband.

“…”

Edric slowly lifted his face from his hands.

His eyes, made transparent by tears, began to show a different color.

He couldn’t leave Melly like this. He had to find her.

He would tell her the truth, the woman who had blamed herself thinking she was infertile.

He would tell her it wasn’t her fault, and rebuild her shattered confidence.

He wiped his tears with his sleeve and stood up.

Quickly descending the stairs, he passed by the entrance where Eida was arguing with the servants trying to put her in a carriage, and walked directly to the garage.

“Edric!”

Eida, having spotted her son, called out to him anxiously.

Judging by her voice, it was the desperate voice of someone who knew she was destined for exile to the outskirts, leaving behind the capital that guaranteed all her social status and reputation.

“Let’s not do this, dear. How can you turn against your parents over one mere woman?”

One mere woman.

Among all the words that evaporated into the air, only that phrase sharply pierced Edric’s ears, but even that could no longer stop his steps.

‘It’s not just one mere woman, Mother. It’s Melly. If you insult Melly any further, you might end up not just in the outskirts of the capital, but at the ends of the earth.’

He didn’t even want to waste time stopping to say such words.

Edric went to the garage and intercepted the garage keeper who was about to say that the driver would be here soon, snatching the keys from his hand.

He drove the sleek black car himself.

Then he simply moved the steering wheel in any direction his hands led him.

By chance, he passed by the place where the accident had occurred.

Even though months had passed, traces of that day’s accident still remained. There was a darkened bloodstain on the ground where someone had been mercilessly thrown after being hit by a car, and the median that had been rear-ended by the following cars braking suddenly was crudely patched with stones of a different color and texture.

The memory of hitting his head on the ground hard enough to make a thud sound suddenly brought on a headache.

Edric massaged his temple with his fingertips while resting one elbow on the window frame.

Below the rolled-up sleeve, a surgical scar that looked like a mended seam was visible, and the rest of his body hidden by clothes concealed at least a dozen more such scars.

As the wind gently blew, ruffling his bangs, a faint scar on his forehead was revealed.

The wounds on his body were as numerous as his anguish. But they were nothing compared to the wounds in his heart.

His heart was tattered like a rag, and there was no tool in sight that could mend it.

He wished.

He desperately hoped that at the end of this road, he would find a needle and thread to mend his wounds.

If not, he hoped for at least a knife and fire to cut and cauterize them.

Edric drove down the open road, fervently wishing.

He didn’t believe in intuition.

He was a man who thought about everything rationally and drew conclusions after reasonable deduction.

To him, intuition was no different from the superstitious divinations that fools stumbled upon by chance, like catching a mouse with a cow’s hind leg.

It was merely a means for people too lazy to use their heads to pretend to look insightful.

But at this moment, he had nothing to rely on but his intuition.

As if fate was mocking his rationality, it had hidden Melly away and refused to reveal her.

“…”

Edric closed his eyes and focused on his own senses.

He could do it if he set his mind to it.

To him, Melly was an existence that had seeped into every part of his body, like a book he had read so many times he had memorized it entirely, or like a mother tongue learned from birth. If he shed his arrogant reason, his senses would naturally turn towards Melly.

He drove the car to where his senses led him. And if he didn’t find Melly there, he drove to another place.

Though he kept coming up empty-handed, he didn’t stop and continued changing his destination.

He believed that intuition would triumph in at least one of these places.

About five days passed like this.

Having driven without sleep, he felt slightly fatigued that night.

In a moment of confusion between the brake and accelerator at a dead end, he felt a sense of crisis.

He couldn’t have another accident like before. The longer he lay incapacitated, the further Melly would drift away.

He pulled the car over to the side of the road and rested his head against the backrest.

He closed his eyes, intending to just clear away the hazy fog filling his mind.

Due to the considerable accumulated fatigue, he quickly fell asleep.

In his dream, he was in the middle of the ducal estate’s garden. And then.

‘Edric.’

His eyes widened at the sudden sound of Melly’s voice.

Turning to the side, he saw her looking at him with pouting lips.

‘Where on earth did you go? I came back because I missed you, but you weren’t here.’

Melly spoke as if feeling neglected. She was beautiful and full of life, but her appearance was somewhat disheveled, and her cheeks looked gaunt.

He had hoped she would be struggling as much as he was, but facing her now, he didn’t feel particularly good about it.

‘Why are you so thin, Melly? Did you leave me just to appear like this?’

Edric reproached. But Melly smiled brightly and wrapped her arms around his neck.

She whispered in his ear.

‘Come back soon.’

‘…’

‘I’ll be waiting.’

Edric opened his eyes.

Melly was gone. And he was not in the ducal estate, but in his car.

He touched his ear.

It felt as if Melly’s breath was still there.

He had dreamt of Melly countless times, but never had he felt her presence so vividly as he did now.

Edric immediately started the engine.

He felt like he needed to return home right away. For the first time, he was certain about his intuition.

Strength gathered in his toes.

The car with a clear destination no longer wandered.

While it had taken several days to reach this place after leaving home, it only took half a day to return.

He passed through the slowly opening iron gates of the ducal estate and arrived in front of the main building.

All the servants were waiting for him in front of the entrance.

As the car stopped, the butler bowed his head in respect and opened the door.

The atmosphere was different from usual.

Just as he was about to think that something must have changed, the butler spoke.

“Your Grace. We… found the Madam.”

The pause between words sounded ominous.

Everyone’s expression was grief-stricken. As a bad premonition enveloped Edric, the butler burst into tears.

“But the Madam… has passed away.”