You And I Live In Different Worlds - Chapter 60

The window showed more of her reflection than the dark scenery outside.

Melly quietly stared at her eyes reflected in the window. Then she looked down along her nose and gazed at her lips for a long time. The corners of her mouth were turned down.

‘A child like you should smile a lot, Melly. Otherwise, you’ll look hateful.’

Her mother’s voice echoed in her head. At the irresistible command, Melly slowly lifted the corners of her mouth.

Somehow, she looked even more hateful. It must be because it was a forced smile.

This time, instead of her mother, she spoke to the Melly in the window herself.

“Don’t be disappointed. It’s all your fault.”

‘You don’t need to come. It’s helpful for you to stay at home.’

Edric was the host of an important event that the empire’s fate depended on. He had an obligation to meticulously take care of even the smallest details so that loose-tongued people couldn’t find fault.

It would be wrong of her to make him worry about her too at an event where he had many things to be concerned about.

She should have told him first that she wouldn’t go, before he said it.

‘I was foolish.’

Melly blamed herself.

And she thought she should treat him even better. That she should strive to support her husband who was working hard for the family. That she should put a little more effort into the social relationships she was building up now.

Then someday, even if he didn’t pay attention, she would be able to elegantly pioneer her own territory in her own way.

Just as the right and left hands of the piano combine to create a perfect harmony, his world and hers would also be beautifully harmonized.

With that thought, the smile that had to be forced until a little while ago gradually took on a more natural form.

‘Yes, that’s it.’

She complimented herself in the reflection on the window.

‘Keep smiling like that from now on. Don’t be elated or discouraged by a single word from him, but solidly build your own foundation.’

Because that’s probably what a great duchess would be like.

And if Edric sees her transforming into the duchess she aspires to be, his attitude towards her will gradually change as well.

At that thought, Melly’s expression brightened even more with hope.

Melly’s happiness lay in the future, not in reality.

Her husband in reality treats her coldly, but her husband in the future looks at her with admiration and smiles at her.

And that day seems like it can be brought forward depending on her efforts. The reason it hasn’t come yet is because she hasn’t tried properly…

That strange logic had an anesthetic effect on Melly’s pain.

“This is no time for this.”

After checking the clock, Melly got up from her seat with a motivated attitude.

To become a well-educated duchess, she recently spent an hour each day in the library. Today, she will increase it to two hours, no, three hours.

She will dive into thick and difficult books like crazy and cram knowledge into her head. Each and every one of those letters will become a weapon and solidly support her. And… it will also return Edric’s affection.

Melly’s steps quickened. The hem of her skirt couldn’t keep up with her speed. With each step, the rough petticoat wrapped around her legs.

Finally, she arrived at the library.

She was about to put her hand on the doorknob, but the sound of conversation from the parlor ten steps away caught her ear.

It was the voices of Eida and one of her brother-in-law, the Earl of Summerson. Because the door was slightly open, their voices were clearly heard.

They seemed to be discussing something important. The distinctly clear voices piqued her curiosity. But eavesdropping was not proper.

Melly quickly turned the doorknob to enter the library.

“I’m worried. The Duke needs to have a child soon.”

Melly couldn’t help but listen to the story related to her, even though it wasn’t proper.

“Seeing that they haven’t been able to have a child like this, could the Duchess perhaps be infertile…?”

Melly stopped moving.

‘Infertile.’

No one had said that in front of her. Not even the ladies of high society who were hostile to Melly directly mentioned that word.

But at this moment, Melly clearly heard that cold, single word.

Melly finally took in the word she had constantly denied for the past five years.

The word transformed into the shape of a sharp piece of metal and instantly pierced Melly’s defenseless chest.

Melly felt her heart sink.

It seemed like she should turn back now to avoid getting hurt any further.

But as if something had come up through the marble floor and tightly wrapped around her, immobilizing her, her body wouldn’t listen.

“Shh!”

Eida quieted the Earl of Summerson.

“Be quiet. What if someone hears?”

“Ah, I’m sorry. The former Duchess.”

The Earl of Summerson apologized, bowing his head, and then said,

“But at this rate, the succession will pass to the collateral line. That’s not what you want, is it, sister-in-law?”

“It’s only been five years now. My father had my husband after seven years of marriage. Can’t we wait a little longer?”

“That may be so… but my father and mother had three older sisters above my brother. There’s a world of difference from not being able to conceive at all.”

Eida was silent for a while. In the meantime, the Earl of Summerson spoke again.

“I wasn’t going to say this, but…”

“…”

“The current public opinion among the elders isn’t very good. If you’re not going to turn the line of succession over to the collateral line, it would be better to divorce the ducal couple…”

“Divorce, you say? That can never happen.”

Eida spoke in an angry voice.

“Not only Edric, but I can’t agree to it either. You know how much I cherish my sister-in-law, and yet you say that.”

“But it’s not like he’s going to take a concubine either, right?”

“A concubine…”

Eida elongated the end as if placing weight on that option.

But as if she thought it wasn’t right, she shook her head and said,

“That won’t do. A pure child like Edric would never take a concubine. Ah… it would be best if my sister-in-law got pregnant right now.”

“That’s what I’m saying. I’m really sorry too.”

The two people sighed in turn.

The sighs filled with deep anguish filled the space where they were sitting, and even overflowed like fog through the open door. It seemed that whoever passed by would be assimilated into their anguish, a continuation of heavy silence.

Eventually, Eida broke the silence that had been like a lump of lead.

“This may be presumptuous, but Earl, please try to persuade the other elders. I’ll do my best to help my sister-in-law get pregnant, so please just wait a little longer.”

“What can I do when sister-in-law is asking me like this? I’ll try to tell them to wait a month or two. But if it takes longer… I don’t think I can stop them anymore.”

“Thank you, Earl of Summerson. I will never forget this favor…”

Eida’s voice grew smaller and smaller. Because Melly was moving away from her.

Melly carefully moved her steps so as not to make the floor ring.

She turned a few corners. It seemed far enough away that even if she stomped with iron plates on her heels, it wouldn’t be heard. But Melly kept walking on tiptoe. As if someone like her had no right to even step on a handful of this land.

Her quarters were visible ten steps away. It was the only space where she could rest at ease…

‘No.’

Even so, it was inside the Pelton ducal residence. It was a place used as a birthing room by women who had conceived children of the successive family heads.

The Pelton family’s lineage had continued down from there.

Could she dare to use such a sacred place?

“…”

Melly stopped walking.

Instead of entering her quarters, she leaned her back against the hallway wall. A cool sensation penetrated through the blouse lining and seeped into her skin.

The contents of the conversation between Eida and the Earl of Summerson that she had heard a little while ago wouldn’t leave her mind.

‘It would be better to divorce the ducal couple…’

Divorce. Divorce for not being able to have a child.

Laughter kept escaping from her mouth.

It wasn’t because she was surprised that she could be divorced for such a reason.

It was because she was pathetic for not even thinking that it could happen.

To neglect the importance of an heir in a high noble family like the Pelton family. What was she doing now when she should be doing anything to have a child?

Melly recalled the medicine she had been throwing away in the sink for the past month. She remembered the resolution she had made while watching the thick, dark brown liquid disappear down the drain.

‘Pregnancy isn’t important right now. It’s more important to take care of him.’

But to keep calling him him, she had to have a child. She was completely wrong.

Melly raised her hand and slapped her own cheek.

Fool. Idiot.

She must have hit quite hard, as her cheek felt hot. Melly slapped the other cheek as well.

‘I’ll do my best to help my sister-in-law get pregnant, so please just wait a little longer…’

That’s what Eida said. But that wasn’t something that could be done with human power.

Hadn’t she already made countless attempts?

Hadn’t none of the things she received from him been conceived as their child?

In front of God’s domain, Melly could no longer wear a mask.

Tears crossed her bright red flushed cheeks.

Edric, even your overflowing and strong seeds couldn’t penetrate the barren land of this wretched body.

Mother. Even the secret remedy you worked hard to make was useless for this hopeless case.

What should I do now?

Is there anything I can do?

“Someone, anyone, please tell me… please.”

Melly’s body slid down the wall. She hugged her knees and buried her face on top of them.