“That….”
It felt like my throat was suddenly blocked. Various thoughts flashed through my mind in that moment.
In this world right now, there’s only one person who knows that I can’t use magic. That’s Grisha.
‘Grisha is like family to me. Trustworthy and dependable.’
But strangely, I also felt an urge to honestly open up about the situation to Cedar.
Even though the time I’ve spent with Cedar is incomparably shorter than with Grisha.
‘If I tell him the truth, won’t that man pity me? He’ll try to protect me.’
The Cedar Granite I knew was far from being a cold-hearted man.
‘But this is my problem.’
Is it right to pass my problem onto him as a burden? Even though staying by his side is dangerous for me too?
The situation was too complicated for an easy answer to come.
In the end, I lowered my head and answered like this:
“…I can’t tell you.”
At my answer, Cedar’s face twisted into a grim expression.
I thought Cedar would back off when I said I couldn’t answer, but instead he approached even closer, making my eyes widen in surprise.
I couldn’t smell any of the earthy scent from last night.
Instead, what tickled my nose was that sharp scent that always emanated from Cedar.
A fragrance that calmed my heart just by smelling it.
But there was no time to gently indulge in that scent. Because Cedar harshly interrogated me.
“Are you going to keep it a secret from me? I saved you last night. You, who couldn’t even use magic, just trembling.”
At those words, my face also soured. I coldly pointed out the current situation.
“You’re also the one who put me in danger, aren’t you?”
“What?”
“The assassin, it seems like your mother sent them. Am I wrong?”
“….”
I’m grateful that he saved me, but looking back, it’s also a danger I wouldn’t have faced if I hadn’t met him.
Of course, he didn’t anticipate the whole situation, and if I hadn’t entered into this contract marriage with him, I might have already been in danger from Diana.
‘Still, what’s wrong is wrong.’
At the very least, he shouldn’t be so boldly demanding why I won’t tell him my secret, right?
At my pointed remark, Cedar’s eyes trembled slightly.
Looking at me with a distant expression like a lost child, Cedar lowered his head and spoke in a subdued voice.
“…You’re right. It’s something I should apologize for. I’m truly sorry.”
I was just stating the facts, but seeing him reflect so deeply made my heart soften again.
I shrugged my shoulders and smiled.
“It’s alright. I didn’t state the facts to receive an apology. It’s also true that you saved me, husband. You don’t know how relieved I was when I heard your voice yesterday.”
That moment is something I’ll never forget for the rest of my life, even if I divorce Cedar.
It was the first time I realized I could shed so many tears. It was also the first time I clung to someone with all my might.
I sincerely expressed my gratitude.
“You were really cool. Thank you.”
At my honest thanks, Cedar’s lips pursed. After hesitating awkwardly for a moment, he slowly opened his mouth.
“I don’t like that you’re keeping secrets from me….”
What about keeping secrets?
I perked up my ears to listen sincerely, but Cedar didn’t end up finishing his sentence.
After roughly running his hand through his hair, he plopped back down in the chair and said stiffly:
“Forget it. Pretend you didn’t hear that. I spoke rashly in a moment of anger. I admit it wasn’t a rational statement at all.”
“You’re quick to reflect.”
It would be nice if he didn’t just reflect, but told me what he was really feeling.
Cedar, with his arms crossed and lips pursed, somehow looked like he had complicated feelings.
‘Well, it’s natural to be complicated when your mother sent an assassin to your home.’
I remember how deeply I despaired when I learned that Diana was trying to kill me.
Because they’re family, the emotional shock is greater than if a complete stranger did such a thing.
‘Since it’s his mother, it must be even harder to give up, right?’
Because it’s a different, even tighter bond than with siblings. I wanted to offer words of comfort, but what came out of my mouth was a tasteless half-joke.
“I don’t know what happened, but make up with your mother.”
“What nonsense about making up.”
Right. Sending an assassin isn’t something you’d do just because of a fight. It was an inappropriate joke.
‘Why am I so lacking in conversational skills?’
Should I correct my mistake even now?
As I pondered this, raising my eyes, I met Cedar’s crooked smile. Cedar asked in a very mischievous tone:
“Or are you saying you’ll bear my child? That’s all my mother wants.”
The level of speech was childish, but the problem was that the person speaking wasn’t a child.
When a man with a large build and handsome face says such things with a hurt expression and a deeply sunken voice, it sounded strangely off.
‘It’s a good thing the person I’m facing is me.’
If it were someone else, they would have completely misunderstood. They would think he was a very bad person, or that he had some ulterior motive.
I pressed my index finger firmly between Cedar’s brows and said:
“Don’t say things you don’t mean. You say bad things when you’re in a bad mood. Hurting yourself too.”
“…”
But Cedar’s expression after receiving my pointed remark was quite strange.
I thought he would refute after being hit right on the mark, but he had a blank expression like someone who was completely surprised.
‘Why is he like that?’
Indeed. Even when I thought I knew him well, at times like this I felt that he was still a stranger.
Instead of probing further into his emotions, I brought the conversation back to the original topic.
“Anyway, I made a contract with you for survival. But now that survival has become precarious because of the contract, it’s right to completely reevaluate. So I’m going to refrain from answering your question as well.”
The words I utter shouldn’t influence his decision. And of course, the opposite is true as well.
Perhaps because Cedar’s mind was very complicated due to Lady Briar’s actions, he kept taking my words the wrong way, unlike usual.
He composed his surprised expression and put on a sharp look again like before.
“So you’re saying you can’t trust me as a contract partner.”
I really don’t know why he keeps interpreting things this way. My head throbbed, and I pressed my fingers to my forehead.
“I just need some time to think. You do too, don’t you?”
“I do what?”
Is he really asking because he doesn’t know? He also needed to completely reevaluate the contract.
I explained the reasons point by point.
“From the moment your mother started to dislike me, my existence became not a benefit you could gain from a contract marriage, but a risk you have to protect.”
After all, constantly having assassins come like yesterday wouldn’t be good for Cedar either.
Cedar’s brows furrowed at my words.
“What do you mean by risk?”
Could it be that assassins have been sent repeatedly, not just yesterday? That can’t be.
‘Or does he mean that assassins coming have no effect?’
There are only two possibilities for that.
Either Cedar is so strong that it doesn’t matter how many assassins come.
‘Or he won’t save me whether they come or not?’
He saved me yesterday, but in fact, Cedar doesn’t have to save me.
Newly realizing the situation, I clapped my hands together once and added:
“Ah, come to think of it, you don’t lose anything even if I’m assassinated! You can use it as an excuse to delay remarriage while mourning your wife.”
So, the risk of the contract marriage only arose for me.
‘Ah, then I unnecessarily told Cedar to think about it. I’m the only one who needs to decide.’
In fact, I didn’t need to consider it either.
If another crisis arises because of maintaining a marriage to avoid a life-threatening crisis, of course I should get divorced.
‘But why am I reluctant?’
Unable to understand my own heart, I groaned with furrowed brows. That’s when Cedar, who had been trembling all over, suddenly shouted:
“Nelly Periway!”
Deeply absorbed in my thoughts, I was startled and opened my eyes wide.
Cedar, who had risen from his seat, took a deep breath as if suppressing his emotions, then pointed at me with his index finger and said:
“You know what? I don’t know if everything you say is right, but your tone is very unpleasant!”
“What?”
Nitpicking?
‘I thought only academy professors would nitpick like this, but to think the seemingly cool-headed Cedar would nitpick.’
Indeed, people have various sides. My tone might have been somewhat direct.
‘But in the current situation, isn’t the tone not the issue?’
I tilted my head and asked back:
“So? Ah, are you saying we should divorce right away without needing time to think?”
“Ugh!”
Cedar’s face turned bright red.
Cedar, who had been trembling as if he might collapse at any moment, clenched his fists and shouted:
“That’s the kind of tone that’s unpleasant! When did I say we should divorce? How much time do you need to think?!”
“About three days?”
“Fine then!”
Even while angry, Cedar answered all my words.
After that, Cedar stormed out of my room with loud footsteps, as if he couldn’t stand it anymore.
I just tilted my head, unable to understand this situation at all.
‘Why is he getting angry?’
It’s not like I said anything wrong, or insulted his character.
‘He’s more sensitive than he looks.’
As I was adding a line about being sensitive to the Cedar Granite entry in my mind, it happened.
“And!”
“Hic!”
As if reading my mind, Cedar, who I thought had left, suddenly opened the door and poked his head in.
Startled, I began to hiccup.
__________
Men In The Royal Harem All Yearn For Her (Female-dominant)
One-line summary: The men (young empress, young empress dowager, crown prince) in the harem all yearn to become her consort.
Synopsis:
The female protagonist is a wildly popular heartthrob with a natural halo.
The male protagonist is a crazily obsessed and self-abasing loyal dog.
Qiu Shu, the top scholar’s daughter, is pure, elegant and incomparably enchanting, captivating countless admirers.
Being favored by the eldest prince, the most handsome man in the capital, and becoming his wife in a single move is truly the pride of a poor student.
However, what they don’t know is that the seemingly bright and splendid female protagonist lives in a battlefield of jealousy every day.
The cute and adorable young empress is unusually attached to her.
The gentlemanly and upright young empress dowager has an ambiguous relationship with her.
Even her aloof and proud eldest prince is actually a gloomy and petty jealous husband.
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.