Woke Up And I'm A Married Woman - Chapter 34

I’ve said this multiple times, but I was a useless child in my youth.

[Nelly, can’t you see your mother is busy? Go to your room and read a book.] [She’s my daughter, but I don’t know why she’s so stupid.]

I was just a bit slow with words and actions, but my parents obviously favored Diana over me.

Watching them, I think I instinctively realized from a young age.

Affection isn’t free. Even between parents and children.

But there were days when I needed warmth too.

In the deep dawn after having a scary dream, or when I studied hard only to be scolded, sitting alone in my room.

The reason I readily extended my hand to Grisha was because I already knew the piercing loneliness.

I was born that way so it couldn’t be helped, but I hoped Grisha wouldn’t know loneliness.

‘But then who will hug me?’

I wish someone would pat my head gently, and cheer me on saying I’m doing well.

Sometimes it’s so overwhelming to even breathe that I just blankly stop.

In fact, the answer was already set.

‘Don’t expect things like affection. It’s not something you can get by demanding from others, and even if you did, what sincerity would be in it?’

A famous poet said.

Humans are inherently lonely beings. The warmth that can’t be filled, I have no choice but to keep living with that emptiness left as it is.

‘Because affection isn’t free. Because even my parents didn’t love me.’

It’s fine because I have magic, right? I’m talented in magic, and while I’m using magic, everyone looks at me.

But now even that magic has disappeared.

‘What should I do?’

I became dazed, not knowing how to fill the emptiness in my heart.

It was at that moment.

“Huh?”

A large, rough hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me up.

Sun-tanned smooth skin like sweet cookies, thick eyebrows, a handsome but somewhat stiff-looking face.

He smiled with one eyebrow furrowed, as if looking at a disobedient child, and said.

[You really are an insensitive woman.]

At that very moment, I woke up with my eyes wide open.

[This is the timeline separator]

Sunlight was brightly illuminating the room through the thin curtains.

For a moment, I sat blankly on the bed, recalling the dream I had just had.

‘So, it was Cedar?’

A dream where Cedar pulls me up when I’m curled up in loneliness.

Cedar’s uniquely awkward yet joyful smile vividly came to mind. I buried my face in both hands.

“Wow, what kind of dream is this……”

Of all people, it was Cedar who appeared. I must have gotten too used to living in the same house with Cedar.

As I was covering my flushed face and whimpering in bed like this, last night’s events felt like a dream.

Someone came to kill me, and Cedar saved me – all of it felt distant like an illusion.

But it was something that had actually happened. Recalling that moment of hiding beside the drawer, my body trembled.

‘She definitely said she was a duchess.’

Cedar’s mother, Lady Briar, who tried to break into the mansion even yesterday.

Even then, she tried to enter the mansion forcefully to meet me.

Seeing that she even sent an assassin after the visit failed, I could tell it wasn’t an ordinary matter.

She sent an assassin even though it could lead to an irreversible relationship with Cedar.

Then she probably won’t give up even after one failure.

I recalled her sharp words to Cedar.

[You really are a stupid child. Stupid and pathetic! How can you throw away your title for such petty pride?]

‘For some reason, it seems Cedar doesn’t want to inherit the duke title.’

Even from that brief conversation, I could immediately grasp the cause of their conflict.

‘After confirming Cedar’s firm will, she concluded it would be better to get rid of the wife who’s just occupying the position. That’s why she sent an assassin.’

Everything makes sense when I think about it this way.

The reason why the surprised assassin tried to kill me when he found out I was alive. From the beginning, my death was his only objective.

‘But an assassin? That’s not the will and execution of an ordinary person.’

Normal people don’t send assassins to kill their son’s wife just because their son doesn’t listen.

I bit my lip.

‘Rather, being married to Cedar is more dangerous now. The situation has changed.’

Then should I ask for a divorce now?

‘There’s still some time left until I receive the inheritance.’

What should I do after divorcing?

‘And what will happen to Cedar after I divorce and leave?’

I knew it wasn’t a situation where I should be worrying about Cedar.

The life-threatening danger was to me, not Cedar, and I knew Cedar wasn’t someone who would easily break no matter how scary his mother was.

Still, perhaps I had grown attached again, I was worried about whether he would be okay after I left.

Lady Briar was scarier than anyone I had ever met.

‘Ah, really. Why is my head so complicated?’

That’s why I had such a strange dream.

I let out a deep sigh.

Just then, there was a dull footstep sound in the hallway, followed by a knock on the door.

The one who opened the door and poked his head in was none other than Cedar.

“Nelly.”

“Husband?”

Perhaps the aftereffects of yesterday still lingered, my hands trembled slightly from the moment I heard the knock.

I hid my hands under the blanket and smiled awkwardly. Cedar walked towards me, grumbling lightly.

“I told you to stop with that title. I said to call me by name, didn’t I?”

“Calling you by name is embarrassing.”

“As if.”

He snorted as if I didn’t have an ounce of shame, but that annoyance was no different from usual.

I found myself chuckling without realizing it.

It was a peaceful morning as if everything that happened last night was just a dream.

‘I was just wondering if I should break up until a moment ago.’

At the sound of Cedar’s footsteps approaching me, my gaze naturally turned to Cedar’s feet.

‘I don’t think there were any footsteps when he went after the assassins yesterday.’

It wasn’t just the footsteps. He must have dealt with the assassin, but he didn’t show me that sight at all.

It was clear that it was all for my consideration.

‘Who’s really the troublesome one here.’

Realizing that someone who could move without making footsteps was deliberately making sounds for my sake, a corner of my heart swelled up immensely.

I was lowering my head and biting my lip, feeling like I might cry for no reason, when Cedar’s hand cupped my cheek and lifted my face towards him.

His slightly frowning, gruff face that was now so familiar filled my vision.

His plump thumb lightly pressed on my lip.

“What’s this? Your lip is torn again.”

“Ah?”

I must have bitten my lip earlier while worrying, causing yesterday’s wound to open up.

I stuck out my tongue to check if there was blood, forgetting that my lip was held by Cedar.

My soft tongue lightly touched Cedar’s thumb.

Cedar jumped back a couple of steps as if struck by lightning. Then he narrowed his eyes and glared at me, asking.

“… Are you doing this on purpose?”

“Ah, sorry for licking. Go wash your hands quickly.”

“Ha, don’t say ‘licked’! It sounds weird.”

What’s weird about it? I tilted my head.

Seeing my genuinely puzzled expression, Cedar sighed deeply and muttered.

“You must be doing this on purpose. Deliberately biting your lip in front of me, making it bleed, even sticking out your tongue.”

Isn’t that level of paranoia? I chuckled and waved my hand.

“Why would I do that? It’s not like I enjoy being scolded by you.”

Then I sucked on my bleeding lower lip.

Compared to Cedar’s fuss, not much blood had come out, as I only tasted a little blood.

Instead, a tingling and astringent taste made my tongue tip tingle.

I frowned and stuck out my tongue.

“Ah, it’s bitter.”

“……”

The taste of the medicine applied to my lip yesterday was still there.

Cedar, who had been looking at me with contemptuous eyes as I fanned my tongue with my hand, rubbed his slightly reddened face with his palm.

Then he sat down next to me again.

And the same process as yesterday followed.

He wiped my lips with a handkerchief and carefully examined here and there to see if there were any injuries he might have missed in the dark yesterday.

Fortunately, there were no injuries. I swung my arms proudly and boasted.

“I, I did my best to hide. If it wasn’t for the sound of my hair moving, I wouldn’t have been caught!”

“You were caught because of your hair?”

“Yes. It was a tiny sound, but he didn’t miss even that.”

It was a sound barely different from a mosquito’s wing flap, but to react so quickly. Professional assassins are really amazing indeed.

‘Ugh, it’s even more amazing that I can talk about it with a smile now. I really thought I was going to die.’

I shuddered as I recalled that urgent moment. It was then.

A dark shadow fell over my head.

Cedar, who had been sitting quietly, came close to me, creating a shadow due to his large frame.

“You, answer honestly.”

Cedar’s eyes felt as cold as ice.

I could have just avoided his gaze, but I couldn’t turn my head away as if I was held in place.

Cedar, facing me straight on, asked in a firm voice, enunciating each word.

“Can you not use magic?”

It was that topic I had been wanting to avoid all along.