I thought it was a natural progression.

In a cafe on the outskirts of town, we ate sweet desserts with coffee. After the meaningless conversation ended, I thought I would follow Sun Woo as he got up to find lodging.

So Young Hwa drank her coffee slowly and ate the moist cake that had melted with coffee.

Her body felt damp like the cake. She thought if there was a sponge, she’d like to wipe away all the moisture melting from her body.

“Your fingers are pretty.”

Sun Woo suddenly said that during a moment of silence.

“Pardon?”

“Long and straight. Come to think of it, I never had a proper chance to look at them.”

His transparent, bright eyes slowly moved up from Young Hwa’s fingers.

It felt chilling, like being scrutinized raw.

“Is that so? I have many scars from paper cuts though.”

The work orders she had to handle while working were uncomfortably large and sharp.

Moreover, the clothes she had to wear for fittings had many pins stuck in them since they weren’t finished products. It was even more so for basting.

So her whole body had many scratches from sharp needles. Her hands were no exception.

But Young Hwa held her hand up to the light at Sun Woo’s words.

Her white, long hand shone in the lamplight.

“See?”

As if proving his point, Sun Woo leaned back in his chair and lifted one corner of his mouth.

“I’d like it if you touched me with those hands.”

The red flesh sliding over his lips looked particularly lewd.

Young Hwa felt unnecessarily flushed and quickly hid her hands.

“Sun Woo, you seem to have no sense of shame. To say such things.”

“I don’t.”

He stretched his neck as if it were stiff.

His unusually long neckline glistened in the dim light.

The nape of his neck that he stroked with his hand had lines too graceful for a man, more suited for a woman.

“How nice. To not have it.”

“Only inadequate people have such things.”

Perhaps his words were right. She had never thought she had lived doing shameful things.

The people who called themselves her family were ashamed of Young Hwa.

She had lived as if hiding, not knowing why she should feel such shame.

“How vulgar.”

“Dirty X.”

“Don’t you have any shame?”

“If you’re stupid, at least be kind.”

Though they always said the same things, they never tired, and she never got used to hearing the same words.

At the sudden thought, Young Hwa felt the sweet cake turn bitter.

Feeling it wouldn’t go down anymore, she stood up.

“Let’s go now.”

She knew the end of their relationship as if it were a business.

Young Hwa wanted to give him what he wanted and rest.

“I’ll take you home.”

Sun Woo, who stood up following Young Hwa, picked up the suit jacket he had taken off.

“Pardon?”

From his mouth, which she had naturally thought would want it, came a completely different meaning.

Just going? Why?

Young Hwa unknowingly stopped in her tracks.

“Why?”

Sun Woo fell into thought for a moment. He parted his lips to find an answer.

“Is it uncomfortable if I take you home? Then I’ll drop you off nearby.”

“…Why.”

Young Hwa’s words trailed off.

Sun Woo approached the still dazed Young Hwa with a mocking smile.

“Why? Want to do something else?”

“No, that’s not it. I mean.”

Sun Woo, who moistened his slightly wrinkled lips, manly wrapped his long fingers around Young Hwa’s nape.

Her body trembled at just the touch of his fingers.

Her breath quickened as she vividly recalled the time when those hands touched her entire body.

“I’m a bit regretful too. But I have to start early tomorrow morning.”

“Ah.”

“But you’re making me think otherwise by acting so stupidly. Stop tempting me and let’s go.”

Sun Woo walked ahead again.

Why did he come?

Wasn’t that the reason?

Young Hwa still had the shopping bag in her hand. As her gaze fell on the shopping bag, she shook her head vigorously.

No way?

That can’t be.

“I don’t want to let you walk alone. Shall we just go to your house?”

Young Hwa shook her head at Sun Woo’s words.

“Please drop me off at the station entrance.”

Sun Woo, nodding as if he understood Young Hwa’s concern, gave an okay sign.

“Should I get you a car?”

Sun Woo’s words seemed as easy as going to a large supermarket and putting food in a cart.

She let out a sigh.

“I can’t drive.”

“Ah. Really?”

Sun Woo, clicking his tongue, stretched his arm over Young Hwa’s shoulder.

***

In all his life, Sun Woo had never met someone who looked as precarious as Young Hwa.

She always seemed to be on the edge of a cliff. Her unfocused eyes were like that, and her thin, lean lines were perilously close to disappearing at any moment.

She made others tense, as if she would leave immediately if even one word was mistaken.

Because he needed to see her to be at ease, Sun Woo kept contacting her to confirm her survival.

What could it be?

What had he become addicted to?

You? Or the precariousness you give?

What was certain was that whatever it was, it seemed he had already become addicted.

Your every word became a command that controlled and moved me.

If I refuse, you might leave.

If I reject, you might disappear again.

It seemed that after that one night when you cut through me, it had been programmed into my memory like that.

What?

What force could have made it so?

It’s poison.

Terribly dangerous poison.

Sun Woo habitually drove with one hand on the wheel.

The other hand kept moving towards Young Hwa’s long fingers resting on her knee, so he deliberately restrained the motion.

“Why didn’t you learn to drive? Were you not allowed to get a license?”

She said she was an adopted daughter. According to Jae Seok, they had sponsored Young Hwa when she was entering high school and took her in as an adopted daughter.

At the time, such a move by Dean Ji was viewed quite positively by those around him.

But the reality was indeed different.

“I have a license.”

“Really? Then you could learn. Want me to teach you? Want to try now?”

Young Hwa, who was smiling brightly, shook her head.

“No thanks. I’m particularly not good with machines. It’s like I’m always being rejected.”

Young Hwa, who uttered the word ‘rejected’, looked precarious again.

In Sun Woo’s head, sparks flickered like flames. As if thinking of a long-term project rather than making excuses every time.

“If we’re going to meet secretly anyway, let’s learn to drive. I’ll teach you. When you get used to it, I’ll give you a car too. Of course, if you let another bastard ride in that car, I’ll kill you.”

“Pardon?”

“Are you moved?”

Sun Woo took Young Hwa’s hand.

Those long fingers would look quite pretty holding the steering wheel.

If she became comfortable driving, wouldn’t it be sexy?

It was ridiculous how excited he got over such a thing.

He had even bet a car just to hold this one hand.

“Don’t you resent me? Why are you so obsessed?”

Though it seemed unnecessary to probe people with words, Sun Woo was curious about that too.

“Who seduced who? How can you ask such a question that turns people inside out.”

At Sun Woo’s words, Young Hwa tried to harden her face but soon couldn’t hold back and laughed out loud.

Even to herself, the situation seemed quite absurd.

If I knew that, I wouldn’t be doing this madness. She thought.

But what can I do?

I’d go crazy if I couldn’t see you.

So even while doing this nonsensical thing, I can’t refuse.

Let’s see how far this goes. I’m curious about the end of this madness too.

I want to know why you’re doing this too.

***

Young Hwa, who got off in front of the station, could only reach home after walking for more than twenty minutes.

Still, that felt more reassuring.

Passing through the entrance and corridor, she could hear noisy voices coming from the living room.

It was In Ha and Jae Hee’s voices.

The living room floor was strewn with shopping bags, non-woven fabric, and drawing paper.

Looks like they went shopping.

It wasn’t late, but the two treated Young Hwa like an invisible person, not even glancing at her.

“I’ll go to my room.”

Rather than being picked on for not greeting them, she threw out a short word and turned to go up to her room.

“Hey. You stop right there.”

In Ha called out to Young Hwa.

Why is she like this again? What fault does she want to find?

“What?”

“What’s that in your hand? What is it?”

In Young Hwa’s hand was an old leather tote bag along with the shopping bag she received from Sun Woo.

Does she think I stole her things?

I didn’t even go near them.

“I bought it.”

“Bought? With what money did you buy such a thing?”

Young Hwa closed her eyes and swallowed.

“In Ha. I work too. We work in the same office, don’t we?”

“Look at this. That’s why I’m saying. How can you buy something from this brand with the pittance you receive?”

Since you advertise that your father gives so little money.

She swallowed the words rising to her throat.

“You X, did you get this by selling your body again? So dirty, really.”

“Do you think your words are sweet?”

In Ha snatched Young Hwa’s shopping bag.

“Don’t take it!”

Thud. Tap tap.

A bag fell to the floor from the shopping bag.

The chain strap made a clanging sound as it hit the marble floor.