“Ah…”
A deep sigh, drawn from deep within, turned into white breath, spreading in the air.
No matter how much I tried, the endless laundry piled up like a mountain. I had to break the ice on the still frozen stream to fetch water for washing.
After Ronan returned to his quarters, and I couldn’t just cling to him, I busied myself with the task at hand.
My hands and feet turned red and numb, as if losing all sensation. Whenever I tried to take a brief rest, the laundry would freeze, making it even harder.
“…So hard.”
Strangely, my body kept trembling severely. My head ached, and I couldn’t stop coughing, likely due to lack of sleep.
Dropping my vigorously moving arms, I let out a big sigh.
‘What am I doing right now?’
I wanted to live. That’s why I came to the North, to find the person who would kill me.
I wanted to live.
So, what was I planning to do when I found the person who would kill me? Would killing them first save me from death?
“It’s hard…”
What am I doing right now?
Was coming to the North really a wise decision?
Struggling so hard just to escape the mansion and death, and all I end up doing is laundry?
I put down the laundry in my hands and held my aching head.
It’s been over a week since I arrived in the North, and all I’ve gained is that I can’t read Laches’ memories.
Was the desire to live perhaps too ambitious for me?
Dark thoughts gripped me, dragging me into an inescapable swamp.
The countless deaths I experienced flashed before my eyes. This spreading pain, was it from those times, or…
Thud.
“Oops.”
A light voice cut through my endless train of thought.
Someone caught my head, which was weakly tilting forward.
“Planning to dunk your head in ice water?”
Though the hand was as cold as ice, it felt different from the bone-chilling wind.
“Why… are you leaning to the side?”
I looked at Laches, strangely tilted, with bewilderment.
My eyelids, heavy as if laden with the mountain of laundry, struggled to stay open.
“It’s not me who’s leaning, but your head.”
“…My eyes are heavy.”
“My hand holding up your face is heavy too.”
“Then remove it…”
“Should I?”
Despite his playful words, his hand supporting my face remained still.
“You seemed feverish earlier. Are you okay?”
His cold hand effortlessly swept across my forehead, then grasped my frozen red hand.
His cold hand warmed with body heat.
“Yesterday you said your clothes were thin, and even today, they’re thin. Don’t you usually dress warmly?”
“Who dresses up warm to work…”
“When you’re this sick, even the Northeners dress warmly. You should’ve checked your own condition.”
It was the first time.
The first time someone held my hand and memories didn’t flood in.
“Are you scolding me now?”
“Shouldn’t I? After all, I am the head of the household.”
Laches’ frivolous and arrogant laughter mingled with my own hollow one.
Experiencing someone touching me without hesitation when I was sick was new in the North.
Detor and Delia always kept their distance, fearing I might read their memories, and my father was too occupied with family affairs to attend to me.
“Resting today would be good. Can you stand?”
“Yes. But it’s hard right now. I’ll get up later…”
Getting up from the crouching position I was in while doing the laundry was difficult. My body, like a waterlogged sponge, seemed to prefer staying limp.
“Alright, then that’s what you’ll do.”
Laches murmured softly, his voice reminiscent of the bedtime stories read to me as a child. My heavy eyelids gradually closed.
Laches softly murmured while holding my face, his voice reminding me of the bedtime stories read to me as a child, making my heavy eyelids gradually close.
My entire body felt relaxed, just like those warm afternoons at the Niiriel mansion during spring tea parties.
“……In the middle of winter, when the stream freezes, we use the water stored in wells instead of breaking the ice.”
His large hand fiddled with my hands, now frozen cold.
“Didn’t the housekeeper teach you?”
His voice was monotone, a deep and thick tone, unlike his usual lighter voice.
“I thought… I had to break the ice…”
His deep voice was like a lullaby, making me increasingly sleepy.
“……Ugh.”
Laches took my hand and gently lifted me into his embrace. Once I was in his arms, a warm comfort enveloped me.
“Go to sleep. There’s nothing you can do in this state. When it’s like this, you should at least rest.”
“Why do you always talk so… bluntly?”
“Because I’m a bad person.”
Laches started walking, and I was gently rocked in his arms as if in a cradle.
I couldn’t resist closing my eyes. I guess I didn’t even want to resist.
My head throbbed. The countless deaths I’d seen seemed to mock me through my closed eyelids.
“Am I… going to die?”
I wasn’t sure what I said. My lips just moved on their own.
The wind blew, and the rocking stopped.
“……Still thinking about it. Don’t want to die?”
I fell into a deep sleep without hearing his muffled response.
“……Well, maybe I’ll consider letting you live.”
The Male lead Always Seduces Her with His Beauty (Matriarchy)
Xin Jiao Zhou is the leader of the world’s premier sect. She has just experienced betrayal from all sides, was poisoned in an assassination attempt, and faced death squad attacks while the poison was taking effect. After finally clearing out the scum from her sect, she was drugged again while trying to detoxify.
After waking up from a night of unconsciousness, she gained a “beautiful and kind-hearted” husband.
Xin Jiao Zhou: “???”
He fell ill.
She came to see him, bringing breakfast.
As she put down the breakfast and was about to leave, his hand slipped while holding the spoon. “Clank!”
She turned around upon hearing the noise.
He looked up at her, his eyebrows drooping: “My hand… has no strength.”
“Shall I… feed you?” she asked tentatively.
He opened his mouth cheerfully: “Ah—”
Thinking she was drowning, he jumped in without hesitation to save her, but nearly drowned himself. In the end, it was she who swam over to rescue him, giving him air underwater.
After emerging from the water, his ear tips turned red. He lightly brushed his cheek, tucking his sideburns behind his ear, revealing delicate, pink-tinged ear tips. He lowered his gaze, too embarrassed to look at her.
Xin Jiao Zhou: He’s truly beautiful, kind-hearted, and adorable.
A certain someone when disciplining subordinates behind the scenes: “If they don’t obey, just kill them.”
What’s that? She might already have someone she cares about in her heart? A certain someone: Find out who it is, kill them, and then there won’t be anyone.
What? She met a man by the riverside? What? That man even hurt her? A certain someone: Whichever hand hurt her, chop off his entire arm.
Love at first sight without realizing it, gradually falling in love, slowly getting closer…
Family and national grudges, schemes and desires, good and evil, crime and punishment, she and he face the future together, seeking justice with passion!
A naturally dark female lead who could accidentally destroy the world but is actually an honest person VS a weak, pitiful, and helpless but skilled fighter, beautiful white-cut black male lead
My heart is not of stone, how steadfast is your love? — Tao Yuanming “Imitating the Ancients (No. 3)”
— Reading Guide —
Cold female lead & dramatic black lotus with hidden yandere traits male lead
