Life is a series of choices.
And Riley realized, three days later, that she had made a momentary wrong choice. However, it was already too late, and the situation had become irreversible.
Intentionally, it turned into a situation where she seemed to keep avoiding him.
Riley was afraid to face him, unable to visit the mausoleum, unable to contact him. Gibben, too, did not try to contact or meet Riley separately.
“…Are you scared of me too?”
It wasn’t you who was scary; it was that this feeling towards you had become sincere.
To be precise, it was frightening to have developed feelings of love for someone. She feared that the years she spent entangled in affection might repeat.
She wanted to be loved and tried desperately for it, but all that came back was disdain and blame. She realized that in those years.
One-sided love only makes people miserable. It only drags them into endless hell.
“Who would love someone like you? Please face reality, Riley. Everyone hates you, everyone despises you! There’s no one who will love you. If even your family doesn’t love you, do you think strangers untouched by your misery will love you? No, you’re just an unlovable existence. There’s a reason why people dislike you. Who would love someone like you, ugly and foolish?”
“Don’t strive to be loved. It’s not a matter of trying. People who are loved, well, they’re born like that. Whatever they do, there’s someone who loves them. On the other hand, whatever they do, there’s someone who hates and persecutes them. What kind of person do you think you are?”
Clare often spoke words that diminished her self-esteem. Perhaps it was because she had heard the words ‘unlovable’ to the point where it felt like a label attached to her ears? Suddenly, she became scared at the emerging emotions.
When thinking about it, it seemed like, except for her father, she had never experienced affection from others. She had never had a proper romantic relationship, nor had she learned what love exactly was.
Due to growing up in a state of lack, not even receiving casual affection, she continued to fear admitting to loving someone. It might be because the deficiency in which she grew up, not even receiving simple affection, still continued to this day that admitting to loving someone was frightening.
Looking back, as a member of the Aedalin family, she tried to become a family to seek their love, but in the end, nothing changed. They didn’t love her, and only hatred and resentment grew.
She was too stupid and simple. Just immersed in the naive and foolish thought that if she loved hard enough and did better, the moment they would acknowledge her would come. Wouldn’t the other person respond to my feelings too?
Caught up in such innocent and foolish thoughts, she struggled, receiving wounds over and over, falling endlessly into the abyss of that miserable feeling.
So now, she knows well.
That the amount I love doesn’t necessarily mean the other person will love me in return.
Love is an emotion that cannot be equal. Someone always has to suffer and get hurt. There is no completely equal relationship because you can’t receive as much as you give.
“…I don’t want to live like that again, ever.”
I don’t believe in things like love.
I don’t even think that the other person will love me. Especially if that person is Gibben Lianster. I’m just deluding myself into thinking I’m crazy about the marital play.
All of this is just fiction, a situation staged artificially, but I immerse myself in it sincerely, as if it has become ‘reality’… I’ve foolishly fallen in love with him, thinking I’ve become a special existence.
It would have been better if I had never realized this forever.
I want to run away anywhere. If he gets out of sight, won’t these unbearable emotions calm down a bit? That’s what I thought.
However, more than wanting to run away, the desire to rush to him right away was greater. I wanted to keep being together, and the greed to be with him sprouted.
However, fear hesitates me.
I know too well that seeking affection from someone is truly painful. It’s better not to hang on to something hopeless from the beginning. At least there won’t be wounds, torn apart and hurt.
Holding onto vain hope, falling into delusions, desperately wanting the other person to love me, that feeling would turn into obsession.
It would slowly fall apart like that. Relationships, hearts, and people.
‘Snap out of it, Riley. Understand the situation, please…’
Unable to do anything about this foolish situation, Riley deliberately focused more on her studies. She needed something to immerse herself in.
Coincidentally, it was the exam period. There were plenty of excuses.
“Riley, are you having a hard time these days?”
At Hila’s question, Riley looked up embarrassed.
“No, I’m just… not working too hard? I feel uneasy just looking at you. You might collapse if you keep this up. Your complexion hasn’t been good lately… Is something wrong?”
“…It’s not like that. Exams are coming up soon. That’s why I feel a bit sensitive.”
Ex-husband Wants Reconciliation
One-line summary: Chasing the wife to the crematorium (making an effort to attract someone who has become indifferent), the female lead doesn’t look back, the second male lead takes the position.
Intro:
To repay the kindness of the older generation, Su Mu crossed into a female-dominated world and became a live-in daughter-in-law of the Yan family, single-handedly saving the Yan family from fire and water.
But her husband, Yan Jiyue, the eldest son of the Yan family, treated her with sarcasm and never showed her a good face.
It wasn’t until after Su Mu’s death that this pampered and arrogant young master shed a few fake tears and pretended to want to die for love.
This life’s kindness was enough. If there was a next life, she would definitely kick Yan Jiyue away.
Who knew that the heavens would be so kind as to allow her to be reborn, returning to the time when she had just married into the Yan family.
Su Mu glanced at the Yan eldest son, who still spoke coldly to her, and threw a divorce letter in front of him.
“Let’s divorce!”
***
Yan Jiyue never imagined that he would be reborn. He happily went to find Su Mu, wanting to make up for the mistakes he had made in his ignorant youth.
Wasn’t the reason the heavens allowed him to be reborn to let him reconcile with Su Mu?
But when he pushed open the door to Su Mu’s room, the person lying on the bed was another man.
Su Mu’s personal attendant, Xie Yi.
Yan Jiyue hated him so much that his teeth itched. In front of Su Mu, Xie Yi was a gentle and considerate whisperer of sweet nothings, but in reality, he was vicious-hearted and deliberately sabotaged their husband and wife relationship.
In the previous life, it was he who secretly hid in Su Mu’s coffin and committed suicide, stealing a step ahead of him to be buried with Su Mu.
Yan Jiyue’s eyes were filled with hatred as he cursed, “What kind of thing are you? Your background is lowly, what right do you have to occupy Su Mu?”
Xie Yi looked at the sleeping Su Mu and no longer pretended to be a whisperer of sweet nothings.
He proudly stuck out his belly, “I have the right because my belly is capable of giving the Wife-master a daughter.”
***
Yan Jiyue was consumed with jealousy. He spread rumors that Xie Yi had once been branded with the mark of a “harlot” on his chest.
But on the night Xie Yi cut off the flesh bearing that mark, Su Mu suddenly realized something was amiss.
“How did you know the exact moment I was poisoned? And why did you show up a month early?”
Xie Yi remained silent, blood from his wound soaking through his robes. His sapphire eyes brimmed with anguish – or was it just a flawless act?
Between a once-arrogant husband now seeking redemption, and a gentle soul willing to die for her – who truly held the darkest secrets? And could it be that Su Mu and Yan Jiyue weren’t the only ones given a second chance at life…?
[Reading Guide]
1. True divorce, chasing the wife to the crematorium, the female lead doesn’t look back, the male lead is Xie Yi.
2. The ex-husband did not cheat, he just realized too late and didn’t realize that he liked the female lead.
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