The voices of those who scolded me, blamed me, and criticized me are still vivid. And she was a little scared to realize that it wasn’t just limited to the Eardalin mansion.

She didn’t want to be hated here. By anyone, for any reason.

But now that the situation had gotten to this point, she wondered if the problem was not with those around her but with herself.

Even when she got tangled up in ridiculous events, even when people who disliked her also acted ridiculously, she thought maybe she was hated because she had some fault that seemed hateful.

“Gibnen, I wish you didn’t know any of this.”

“…”

“Not you, of all people… I didn’t want to seem flawed even a little.”

“Why would this be your fault?”

“I just didn’t want to make something seem like a flaw. To you, my very existence must feel like a burden.”

Somehow she had ended up being an unwanted burden.

It felt like the perfect word for it. To Gibnen Lianster, Riley Eardalin was just that. A burden that’s manageable but annoying, better if not there.

Bound together by the will of his mentor, she thought she should at least be a silent burden. One he wouldn’t notice. At least she should not cause any harm.

‘…I can’t even manage myself properly.’

In one way or another, she got entangled in distasteful events, the issue escalated, and it even came to a point where he had to step in. She should have been a burden he didn’t need to worry about.

“Who says you’re a burden?”

“…”

“All this time you’ve thought you were a nuisance, an obstruction?”

“…”

“It’s unpleasant. Why did you think that way? Was I that lacking? Am I still that insufficient?”

“It’s not like that. The problem is with me, not you.”

Gibnen sighed deeply and pushed Riley away.

Somehow she ended up sitting on an old table, looking flustered at him. He lowered himself to her eye level and caressed her cheek.
“What should I do more so you don’t think such foolish things?”

“I just want to give back as much as you’ve given me.”

“…….”

“But I can’t.”

“I’ve never wanted to receive as much as I give, you know?”

“I do want that. I know the things I’m given are too much, things I couldn’t have even dreamed of before.”

“Why complicate it? Can’t you just take what’s given and live? Why overthink it?”

I hate it. I’m afraid I might just become dependent. Just start to expect too much.

Riley held back the sincerity that had risen to her throat.

Although she had told him she would enjoy what was given and not ask for more, she honestly wasn’t sure about it.

She felt that she would eventually be abandoned.

She didn’t think their relationship would last forever. After all, one never knows what the future holds.

That’s why Riley was afraid she would become dependent on Gibnen. Afraid she would lean on him and become an incompetent idiot who can do nothing. She knew too well how terrifying the absence of a relied-upon existence could be.

People can’t just live by relying on someone. Once that someone is gone, they collapse.

That’s why she didn’t want to rely on him too much. She was already financially well-supported and living a comfortable life. Even if she couldn’t help it in material aspects, at least in this personal part, she didn’t want to depend on his existence.

‘The better he treats me, the more I’ll rely on him, and this strange relationship may become sincere.’

What if she just keeps expecting, just keeps relying, and goes further to actually love him and become possessive?

Riley moistened her lips and sealed them again. She didn’t want to expose such sincerity. No, she couldn’t.

True feelings must be hidden.

“……Thanks for helping. Forget what I just said. I was confused and said something nonsensical. Even I don’t know what I’m saying.”

Gibnen, who had been staring intently at Riley, pressed his lips against hers. He gripped her hand tightly.

Her heart raced crazily at the soft kiss, but Riley ignored the steady and not unpleasant heartbeats. She calmly accepted his lips, making sure her emotions didn’t leak, making sure she wasn’t swayed.

‘This relationship is skewed.’

A skewed relationship can never run parallel, never reach the end side by side. Because it’s skewed.

Personal feelings must not arise. She can’t depend on him, can’t expect from him, can’t love him. Because a wall called reality thoroughly blocks the way where hearts pass back and forth.

She will beg for love no more. She will not love anyone.

She had to remind herself of her long-standing resolution.

She had had enough of experiencing how a one-sided feeling becomes a double-edged sword.

It’s impossible to have mutual interaction. This time it’s too obvious that it’s a one-way interaction, so why bother?

Don’t forget, Riley. You must never forget.

Never love, never give your heart.

To anyone.

She had worried about the news of her marriage to Gibnen leaking, but thankfully it seemed that Gibnen had thoroughly covered it up through the student council.