The heartbeat was very loud. It felt like a drum was beating in my chest. Breathing heavily and raising myself from the bed, Eunjae, pressing the unsettled heart with the palm of his hand, barely managed to control it.
It was closer to dawn than morning.
I couldn’t easily fall asleep due to various thoughts, but at some point, I felt a blink of sleep.
If he didn’t wake up because of me, Eunjae looked down at the bedside with a worried expression.
A disappointed sigh escaped from Eunjae’s lips over the empty sheet.
“Where did he go again…”
Eunjae slowly buried his face in his knees.
My beloved husband, Yoon Sunwoo.
A person who puts their feelings and wounds first, even if they knew, someone who would never say it to me. Someone who wouldn’t ask anything. Someone who pretended not to know.
If I were to find out that fact, I wouldn’t be able to endure it, and I might leave him because of it. Perhaps the person who first realized that fact, that person would have been the most afraid.
So, it seemed like I clung even more desperately to the Yoon Sunwoo in the dream who rejected me harshly. If it were the real Sunwoo, I knew he wouldn’t even give me such an opportunity.
For a while, Eunjae, who had been sweeping the empty sheet with his palm, slowly got up from the bed. He carefully opened the bedroom door and headed to the living room sofa.
“…”
As expected, he was sleeping on the sofa.
Yesterday and today, why is this man here?
Eunjae stared at Sunwoo and stood like that for a while. And he recalled one by one the strange behaviors of the man who had changed recently.
Suddenly, the behavior of hurrying to raise the heat this fall. The skinship that started hastily that evening. His unfamiliar appearance being lost in thoughts without hearing my words of pain. The eyes that inspected me, which wavered dangerously after inflicting the wound.
And the similar-context words he often said to me recently.
“Even if you say you’re leaving, I won’t let you go.”
“Nothing happened. It will continue like this in the future.”
“So stay by my side. No matter what happens.”
Feeling increasingly anxious, Eunjae hurriedly moved in case he woke up from sleep.
Having returned to the bedroom, Eunjae sat on the edge of the bed.
Uncontrollable anxiety swept over him. Fingernails trembling, making a crisp sound as they clashed.
I really don’t have any courage.
The courage to tell him this fact, the courage to ask for forgiveness, the courage to leave him, the courage to see his back as he leaves me.
Sudden fatigue rushed in. The belly that hadn’t swallowed anything all day gurgled as if it were empty. Even in this situation, my stomach felt hungry, and sleep approached.
My eyes became heavy, and I felt my strength draining from my whole body.
Slowly, facing the empty space, Eunjae lay down. It felt like going back to the time when he refused the marriage proposal and returned home, spending listless hours on the bed.
He was like a ray of light.
Unexpectedly entering my life, like a light that suddenly broke into my dark life, I didn’t know when, that light brightly illuminated my world.
And now. My world without him lost its light and turned pitch-black again, as if a power outage had occurred.
Warm energy touched my forehead.
Eunjae, slowly pushing up his eyelids with a gentle touch, sat up and, as usual, smiled brightly at Sunwoo in front of him.
“Wake up. We agreed to see each other off.”
“It’s okay, sleep more. I’ll be back.”
Eunjae wrapped her arms around him. And more than any other day, she pulled him closer and hugged him.
“If you keep doing this, I won’t want to go to work.”
“Just a little longer, just a bit.”
His blurry but distinct laughter was heard. His hands, which had been holding the bed, slowly lifted Eunjae.
“If you keep doing this, I might really get cut off from work. Are you going to feed me?”
“I might have a few side dishes. Instead, I think I can make warm soup every day—”
Before Eunjae could finish her serious answer, Sunwoo, who made a clicking sound, grabbed her slip strap before her words were finished. It seemed that she would soon be overcome by the sweet breath gently digging in.
In the swaying field of vision, his sweaty face appeared. When their eyes met, he stroked her cheek and smiled brightly.
“I love you.”
After that, he held me in his arms and whispered that he loved me several times. Whenever I tried to close my eyes, whenever I tried to turn my head, whenever tears welled up in my eyes.
What expression will you have when you find out this fact someday? Even then, will it be so indifferent to touch you like this?
I didn’t want to walk that path alone again. Even if it took a hundred years, I wanted to let others feel the touch of someone else’s hands. I wanted to teach that someone else’s hands were warm like this.
I hope I wasn’t the one to convey that fact. I hope the day never comes when I have to face you and talk about it.
Even though I knew, I hope you understand me, who couldn’t tell you in advance.
Even if it’s somewhat selfish, even if I feel betrayed by wanting to protect you in this way. Still, I hope that someday in the distant future, I will feel that my way was not wrong.
But my throat keeps tightening.
Having already given everything to you, can I live a day without seeing you? Can I live well where you are not?
“You know. This is a real ‘what if,’ but if… if I say I can feed you, if that’s okay. Can you live only seeing me in a place where no one else is?”
I asked him a selfish question to the end. I shamelessly turned around the words that he could come to me by abandoning everything.
It seemed enough to leave only that dazzling smile if he said so.
At my question, the corners of his mouth slowly rose. I wanted to leave it clearly, but his figure kept getting blurry.
Tears covered my eyes, and I desperately captured his smiling face in his misty pupils.
I wanted to keep it hidden and cherish it. During difficult times, whenever I missed him so much, I wanted to think of his smiling face like that, holding onto it, longing for it. I thought that would be enough.
He wiped my tears with a smile. Whether it was because of my mood or because my vision was blurry, strangely, his eyes seemed to resemble mine.
An indistinguishable liquid dropped onto Eunjae’s cheek.
“Say something, do something.”
And he whispered in my ear.
Without you, I’m just an empty shell.
Male lead fell into her trap — and shattered when she walked away
This is also on my reread list!
This one is a slow burn, but when it burns, it burns hard.
Definitely worth a read, y’all!
The story follows a thousand-year-old seductive spirit who, on a bet, sets out to charm the male lead—a once-promising but unfortunate cultivator.
But just when she succeeds in making him fall for her, she heartlessly leaves, driving him to madness.
Determined to find her at all costs, he captures her, keeping her by his side no matter what, even if she hates him.
I love this kind of trope—I enjoy watching the male lead suffer in agony.
The ending drags a bit with unnecessary filler, but that’s fine.
As long as I enjoy the beginning, I’m good.
Intro
As an enchantress, Su Heng possesses captivating eyes and charming beauty, easily manipulating the joys and sorrows of living beings at her fingertips.
But to enchant a god, making him taste the bitterness of love’s separation, long-lasting resentment, unattainable desires, and inability to let go…
Do you dare?
Su Heng assists a divine lord in his cultivation, aiming to make him experience all the sufferings of love, so that he can attain the Great Dao.
Only after being chased down from the heavens by the divine lord, confined and completely possessed by him, does she realize how successful she has been.
The once gentle and polite youth has transformed into someone she no longer recognizes.
[Touch the gear icon in the bottom right corner of the screen to move to the next chapter if you want.]
