Alicia was in a deep sleep and barely managed to open her eyes only after the sun had set the next day.
‘……Did I fall asleep right after washing up?’
Judging by the fact that her last memory before falling asleep was seeing Amy’s back as she left the bedroom saying she would bring a meal, that seemed to be the correct answer.
“Mmm……”
It took all the strength in her body just to raise herself from where she was lying.
It must be because she poured out all her strength in tears last night.
“Did I not even have the strength to have nightmares?”
Or was it thanks to Amy’s casual, kind words of comfort as if it was no big deal?
Alicia, who had been staring blankly at the corner of the canopy while sitting with her back against the headboard, turned her head towards the window.
The last snow of winter falls and piles up relentlessly.
Seeing the scenery beyond the glass window swallowed up in white by the snow that had started falling yesterday, Alicia let out a small sigh.
There are slight differences each year, but the last snow of winter continues for a week.
That meant she would have to stay in the same space as Killian for a week.
“It’s only been a day so far……”
Although small in scale, it was a castle.
She could avoid him as much as she wanted, but just the fact that she was staying in the same place as Killian made her heart race.
Excitement? Fear?
Which one was her rapidly beating heart responding to, as if she had just been running?
Alicia raised one hand to press gently on her left chest and murmured softly.
“It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”
In the past, she had leapt into hell with the expectation that a happy ending would be waiting at the end, but now she knew what was waiting for her at the end of that choice.
No matter how foolish and stupid she might be, she wouldn’t choose an option when she clearly knew the outcome.
“As long as I don’t cling to him, Killian has no reason to want me. So I just need to pretend not to know.”
It was a relationship that had been maintained solely by Alicia clinging to it from beginning to end.
Whatever reason her heart was beating fast for, nothing would happen if Alicia just stayed still.
“I am the Imperial Princess of Eregron. I should… I should act like an Imperial Princess.”
Alicia, who had been constantly reminding herself of her duties as an Imperial Princess and vowing to live for the empire as if brainwashing herself, left the bed.
She didn’t feel like she would fall asleep again, and somehow she felt too stuffy inside, so she thought of going to the greenhouse for a change of mood.
No one in Rasa Castle had the guts to enter the greenhouse that the Crown Prince had gifted to the Imperial Princess without permission.
Moreover, Killian, who had the most noble status after Alicia, did not like flowers.
In other words, the greenhouse was the safest place in Rasa Castle where she wouldn’t run into him, next to her bedroom.
“Ah……”
The moment Alicia got up from the bed, she felt slightly dizzy from an unfamiliar hunger, but she didn’t feel like eating anything.
Alicia overcame the dizziness by tightly closing her eyes, then let out a long sigh before opening the small door next to the bedroom.
It was the powder room.
Alicia, who had been scanning the dresses lined up along one wall with her eyes, took out the warmest-looking cloak from among the cloaks gathered at one end and draped it over her body.
Then she stood in front of the huge full-length mirror on the opposite wall and looked at her reflection.
Uncombed hair, a face paler than yesterday.
A blue winter cloak over a white long-sleeved nightgown.
It was a sight that would have horrified Amy if she had seen it.
“I’ll just go out for a moment……”
Alicia, who had lastly taken in her red lips, the only part of her that seemed to have any life, pulled the hood of the cloak down deeply to cover her face.
She didn’t want to see her stupid face clearly reflected in the mirror without a speck of dust on it anymore.
Alicia, who had left the powder room and stepped outside the bedroom door, arrived at a small door after walking down the long corridor that had quietly settled down for its sleeping owner.
It was a door that led directly from inside Rasa Castle to the greenhouse.
Originally, it would have been correct to go through more than one step to reach the entrance, even for security reasons.
However, the greenhouse of Rasa Castle, created solely for Alicia, was built with all doors leading to the outside removed except for the entrance connecting from inside the castle.
Apart from this entrance, there was no way to sneak in from the outside, and unless it was a day with heavy snow like today, there were always soldiers patrolling around the greenhouse, making security quite thorough.
Standing in front of the door, Alicia briefly turned her head back to scan her surroundings before opening the door connected to the greenhouse with the bunch of keys she had brought out in advance.
It wasn’t as if she was going somewhere she shouldn’t, but she found herself checking her surroundings unnecessarily, belatedly conscious of wearing only a nightgown under her cloak.
“It’s warm……”
Alicia closed the door of the greenhouse and removed her hood, taking a deep breath.
The greenhouse lights had been on continuously since yesterday to withstand winter’s last bout of spite.
The perfect temperature and light for plants to grow.
Alicia slowly began to walk, loosening the tightly tied strings of her cloak just below her neck.
Although it felt a bit hot because she had chosen and worn the warmest-looking cloak, she couldn’t completely take it off for fear of running into the greenhouse keeper.
“Should I have changed my clothes?”
They say regret always comes late, which is why it’s called ‘regret’ (後悔), and this time too, it seemed to have found Alicia belatedly.
But that was only for a moment; standing in front of her most beloved red climbing roses, Alicia slightly pulled up the corners of her mouth in a smile at the fragrant flower scent tickling her nose.
Perhaps thanks to the scent, the hot air trapped inside her cloak didn’t feel unpleasant.
“You were beautiful then and you’re beautiful now.”
Alicia murmured, stroking the red rose petals with her fingertips.
In the early days of her marriage, hoping that Killian would like what she liked, Alicia had once covered her palace with red climbing roses.
Among climbing roses, Alicia loved the varieties with small flower heads and full, overlapping petals even more.
It was quite a famous story in Eregron that the Emperor had cultivated and gifted a rose variety named ‘Fairy’ for Alicia who loved such roses.
But to Killian, who didn’t like flowers, the roses she loved were just unnecessarily flashy weeds that gave off an irritating smell.
[I’d prefer if you didn’t do unnecessary things.]Was he annoyed that she had decorated the palace where he would also stay as she pleased?
Killian, who uttered this single sentence, removed all the roses from the space where he stayed.
Feeling as if it was a warning not to intrude on his territory, Alicia eventually removed all the remaining roses and never gifted flowers to Killian again after that.
“Old memories keep coming up……”
Ever since encountering Killian, past events that she had been pretending not to know kept surfacing and tormenting Alicia.
But that was now a vanished past and a future that would not come.
It had to be that way, and she had to make it so.
Alicia shook her head at the worries repeating like a hamster wheel as she slowly resumed her steps.
Last night, Amy had said that Alicia would surely find an answer, but to be honest, she wasn’t sure if there was a real answer to this problem.
“I confirmed yesterday that it’s impossible to give up my feelings for Killian.”
Her heart moved before her head could warn her.
She had fallen for Killian once again, so how could she give up those feelings? If that had been possible, she wouldn’t have died swallowing poison in her past life.
“The fortunate thing is that the engagement has been nullified anyway.”
It turned out to be a very good thing that she had corrected that mistake first thing after traveling back in time.
If she hadn’t properly nullified that engagement then, her foolish self would have wasted time finding excuses to delay breaking off the engagement and might have ended up walking the same path as in her past life.
“The problem is that I can’t trust myself.”
Ah, there is one thing she trusts.
That she is foolish.
What if she gets blinded by her love again and repeats her foolish choices?
Even though she’s not that stupid to choose that path again after seeing its end once, didn’t she realize yesterday?
In the bedroom, she had comforted herself that she could do well as befitting an Imperial Princess, but… people don’t change easily by nature.
That’s why she couldn’t trust herself even more.
Alicia admitted that she had become overly pessimistic and a coward.
“Haa…… I wish I could just disappear like this.”
It was at that moment when she was sighing deeply and muttering to herself.
−Crash!
A sharp sound of breaking glass was heard, and a cold winter wind rushed in, enveloping Alicia’s body in an instant.
Had the greenhouse wall broken? Why? Could it be because of that last snow of winter?
Knowing that couldn’t be possible, yet unable to understand what had happened, Alicia froze on the spot and soon learned what had shattered the glass wall of the greenhouse.
【Grrrr.】
It was twice as tall as an ordinary person, and it was moving while dragging arms longer than its body on the ground.
Where there should have been a face, there was only black darkness, and what appeared to be its mouth was a long slit extending to the back of its head, revealing black and pointed teeth glistening with moisture.
A monster that spread an ominous aura around it with each step it took.
Although she had never directly encountered one before, Alicia realized that this was a ‘Masu’.
“H-How……”
How could a Masu, which is only sighted beyond the northern border, appear here?
Even as she thought it was impossible, Alicia instinctively began to back away, her face turning pale, when at that moment:
【Grrrk…… Aaal……ici……a……】
The ‘name’ that flowed from the Masu’s mouth.
【……Al……grrk……ici……a……】
The moment it called her name once more, Alicia felt as if black darkness was overwhelming her and tightly closed her eyes.
Turns Out He’s Been Secretly in Love with Me
One-line summary: He acts like he doesn’t like her but is actually playing hard to get.
Synopsis:
Xu Muzhou like her. He has liked her for a very long time, and through repeated schemes, he finally closed the distance with her.
But this is still far from enough.
He wants to be the one who stands out among her many suitors, to fight for her attention, and to make her take the initiative to pursue him.
_____
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