Unable To Escape - Chapter 76

During the journey back to the Imperial Palace, Alicia’s consciousness faded in and out repeatedly.

She was carried in Killian’s arms to a nearby village, and then lay in a hastily procured carriage, receiving care from Marie and Tilly.

When she opened her eyes, day had turned to night, and when she closed her eyes and opened them again, it was daytime.

There were times when she closed her eyes during the day and opened them again in the daytime, but that was after a day or two had passed.

After Alicia collapsed, the group moved towards the Imperial Palace at the fastest possible speed.

Except for occasional breaks to let the horses rest, the group quickly headed towards the Imperial Palace.

While the group increased their speed out of concern for the princess who couldn’t regain consciousness, Alicia was dreaming.

When she opened her eyes, she couldn’t remember the dreams, but the feelings of sadness, anguish, regret, and obsession remained, gripping her heart.

“Your Highness, are you alright?”

Alicia, who had barely regained her senses when they were close to the capital, felt a slight motion sickness inside the fast-moving carriage.

Thanks to that, or perhaps because of it, the group’s pace had slowed considerably compared to before.

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look well.”

“Does Tilly think so too?”

“I couldn’t find any signs of other illnesses, but your pulse has weakened considerably. You must rest unconditionally.”

To do that, they needed to return to the Imperial Palace in the capital as quickly as possible.

“The lake… I want to see it in person…”

Under the shadows cast by her lush lashes, her sky-blue eyes glistening with moisture looked extremely pitiful.

After watching her for a moment, Tilly opened the carriage window and called out to someone.

“Could you please tell the Duke of Diaz that I have something to say to him?”

“Yes, I understand.”

The sound of the knight who received Tilly’s request moving away from the carriage was heard, and soon someone knocked on the closed window.

“Duke Diaz, I have a favor to ask of you.”

Killian, who had become much sharper in the past few days, examined Alicia’s appearance through the window with his eyes.

Even knowing his gaze wasn’t directed at her, Tilly bowed her head and spoke politely, pretending not to notice.

“Could we stop at Lake Dielap for a moment?”

“Reason?”

“Her Highness Alicia’s motion sickness is severe. She needs to breathe some fresh air for a while. Being near the lake will provide an open view and help lift Her Highness’s mood.”

After a moment of contemplation, Killian glanced at Alicia’s sky-blue eyes sparkling with anticipation and nodded.

“We can’t stay long.”

“Thirty minutes will be enough.”

“Alright then.”

The sound of Killian riding away on his horse was heard as he remained there, intensely observing Alicia until Tilly closed the window.

“Thank you.”

“This is also part of a physician’s duties, so there’s no need for such words.”

“Still, I’m grateful for what I’m grateful for.”

“Instead, please promise me, Your Highness. When I say it’s time to go, you must follow.”

“I will.”

Alicia nodded to Tilly, and after some time, the carriage she was riding in stopped in front of a vast lake.

With Kasa’s assistance, Alicia exited the carriage and her eyes sparkled in admiration at the beautiful scenery.

Even when viewed from the window of the moving carriage, the lake’s scenery, now stopped right in front of her, was more beautiful than expected, making Alicia’s heart flutter.

She felt the gazes of Kasa and Marie, who were standing at a distance so as not to disturb her appreciation of the lake.

Alicia turned her head, waved lightly to them, and moved a little closer to the lake.

They said it was a lake as large as the sea… Just like she had read in books, small waves were forming, and the water was repeatedly coming in and out of the lakeshore.

She had never seen the actual sea, but this would be similar.

No, it could be even more beautiful.

Squatting down to take in the scenery she might never see again after today, Alicia picked up a round pebble.

The cold and hard texture of the pebble reminded her of when she touched the black crystal.

Although she only touched it briefly, it felt like being sucked into someone’s deep and dark despair.

And the voice she heard from inside.

Alicia turned her head and looked at Killian, who was talking with his subordinates.

It was definitely his voice.

Even in a noisy place, Alicia could clearly distinguish Killian’s voice calling her.

So she was certain that the voice that engulfed her when she touched the black crystal was Killian’s.

The question was, why did she hear his voice from inside the black crystal?

Moreover, she couldn’t even guess why he was calling her name so desperately.

‘It definitely… disappeared?’

There was another unanswerable question.

It was a vague memory while she was losing consciousness, but the black crystal she touched turned into smoke and vanished.

If she asked Killian, it would become clearer, but because of the voice she heard from inside the black crystal…

She was reluctant to question him about what happened that day.

Turning her gaze away from Killian and back to the lake, Alicia felt her mind clearing for the first time in a while and began combining the clues in her mind to find answers to her questions.

Why did the black crystal disappear at her fingertips?

Why did she hear Killian’s voice from inside it?

Whose were those deep and dark emotions she felt the moment she touched the black crystal?

All sorts of questions arose and disappeared in Alicia’s mind.

And she realized that all these problems began with her regression.

If the black crystal appeared simultaneously with her regression, could it be…

‘Is it me?’

Recalling the situation when she chose death… Alicia at that time was utterly exhausted.

Her husband did not love her, the vassals pointed fingers at her as an incompetent emperor, and the people, unaware of the circumstances, continued to cherish her name and reign title, not knowing that their misfortune began with her.

Looking more closely at her emotions at that time, she desperately wanted to be loved, felt guilty for the deaths of her family, and resented the world that pushed her into this situation.

If all of that became entangled and traveled back to the past with her…

If that became the black crystal…

‘…Then it makes sense.’

If that was true, it would also explain Killian’s voice she heard inside the crystal.

It was a voice Alicia had never heard from him before.

But it was also a voice she desperately wanted to hear.

Killian needing her… His voice pleading for her to come to him…

Wouldn’t it make sense if it was an auditory hallucination created by her strong desire?

She didn’t know why it disappeared at her fingertips, but if she kept searching for answers within herself, wouldn’t she find out someday?

‘I’m the problem.’

She could somewhat understand the mutated monsters’ obsession with or avoidance of things related to her if it was a change caused by her.

It wasn’t exactly right, but… if it was a change caused by her…

“Your Highness, it’s time to get back in the carriage.”

Had that much time already passed while she was organizing her thoughts?

Alicia, who stood up holding the hand Tilly offered as she approached, directed her gaze towards Killian.

It seemed they had become a bit more comfortable with each other during this journey.

Was it because the burden of having to reciprocate her feelings had disappeared?

He must have felt lighter now that he only needed to treat her as a princess who no longer yearned for his affection.

She liked Killian, who had become kinder and more affectionate towards her than before.

She even thought that if she could hide her feelings until the end, she might be fine maintaining this distance and watching over him for the rest of her life.

But even that was greed.

‘If everything happening right now is my fault… I can’t.’

She didn’t have the courage to watch Killian become unhappy by being entangled with her.

Alicia remembered how he grew colder day by day, tied to her side even though he didn’t love her.

If Alicia of the past was unhappy because she couldn’t receive Killian’s love, then Killian of the past was unhappy because he received her love.

But what about now, after going back in time?

Just by being by Alicia’s side, Killian gets involved in incidents.

That applied not only to him but also to her beloved family.

‘Let’s leave.’

She didn’t want her family and Killian to be unhappy because of her mistake in going back in time.

Even the time spent searching for a marriage partner was a waste.

‘I’ll just prevent elder brother’s death and leave. I’ll go far away from Eregron, live without getting involved with anyone, and die like that.’

If the people she loved could enjoy happiness in Eregron, her loneliness wouldn’t matter.

Just knowing they would be happy was enough.

Alicia, who had been watching Killian until she got into the carriage, smiled with a face on the verge of tears as she heard the carriage door closing.

“Your Highness, are you feeling uncomfortable somewhere?”

“I’m just a bit tired.”

“I’ll prepare a place for you to lie down.”

With Marie’s skillful assistance, transforming one of the carriage seats into a makeshift bed, Alicia lay on her side and closed her eyes.

If she disappeared, would the monsters and the black crystal no longer appear?

Even if they did appear, they would be discovered somewhere far from Eregron as they chased after her.

Just that would be good enough.

It meant that the farther she moved away from Eregron, the safer the people she loved there would be.

‘Let’s go as far away as possible. To a very distant place.’

When she arrived at the Imperial Palace, the first thing she needed to do was examine a map.

While organizing her upcoming tasks, Alicia unknowingly fell into a deep sleep.

So she couldn’t have known.

That Killian, who stood in front of the closed carriage door, remained there for a long time, lost in deep thought.

And that he softly called her name in the voice she desperately longed for.

Alicia would never know that fact, now and forever.