To You, Whom I Shouldn't Love - Chapter 41

“There was also a big age gap with brother Asher. In a situation where a capable heir was already in place, I wasn’t a particularly welcome child.”

Riena wanted to refute that it wasn’t so, but decided to listen to his words silently for now.

“Moreover, I was physically weak and timid in personality. From my father’s and brother’s perspective, I must have been an obstacle in many ways. Still, my brother took care of me without finding it bothersome.”

“I see.”

That was something she already knew.

She vividly remembered Cass’s face when he heard about his brother as a child, crying that it couldn’t be true.

“Even when my mother passed away, my brother worried more about me. Looking back now, even though he was an adult, it must have been a big shock for him too, but he never once showed it to me. Seeing my brother like that, I thought he was indeed different, but…”

Cassel’s voice trembled.

“He was just enduring it as the heir and as an older brother.”

“…”

“That’s when the master came. My brother entrusted me to him.”

That was a story she was hearing for the first time. Until now, Riena had thought Count Dyke had taken Cass first.

“Of course, the master said he had intended to take me anyway. But honestly, I didn’t want to go. My brother persuaded me. He said the master was a good person, that there would be friends my age at the Dyke mansion, and that the weather was mild, making it much better to live there than here.”

“…”

“I promised to come back much grown up the next time I saw my brother, and then came to the Dyke estate. In the end, it was a good choice. Because I got to meet the master and the young lady.”

He smiled faintly, as if lost in memories.

“It was wonderful. I was so happy that I wanted to live there forever if I could.”

But on a summer day, Asher Winckler, the heir of Winckler and Cassel’s older brother, died suddenly of illness.

Cassel, who was practically dragged away by knights from the Winckler family, never returned to the Dyke estate.

Up to that point was a story Riena roughly knew. Cassel calmly told her the story after that, which she didn’t know.

“When I returned to the estate after hearing the news of my brother’s death, everything had changed. The unwanted second son became the heir of the family overnight.”

“…”

“I started heir training right after my brother’s funeral. Since I started late, the training was even more rigorous.”

Cassel didn’t go into detail about how rigorous the training was.

However, she knew it wouldn’t have been easy for him, who was 11 years old at the time, to catch up with the training he started late.

Aaron Dyke, who was 10 years old, was already taking heir training.

Countess Dyke even scolded Aaron, saying his progress was slow and he needed to work harder.

If it was like this even in a marginal count’s family, how suffocating must it have been in a duke’s family?

“I wanted to run away several times a day. There was no one to comfort me when I cried. Everyone just pressed me to act like the young master of Winckler.”

“…”

“At those times, the letters the young lady sent were my only joy.”

At that time, Riena wrote letters to Cass. Not knowing his family or address, she entrusted their delivery to Count Dyke.

There were actually a few replies. However, after four or five replies, there was no contact from Cass.

Riena stubbornly continued to send letters even without replies.

But one day, she received a letter returned unopened, and stopped writing letters.

It was on a spring day when she was 12 years old.

After that, she tried to forget about the cold-hearted Cass.

When she was young, she didn’t understand why Cass ignored her letters. She felt very hurt by a friend who wouldn’t even reply.

But now as an adult, she could fully understand Cass’s circumstances.

He didn’t have time to write to a friend he had only spent half a year with, as he was striving day and night to become a perfect heir.

“I’m glad my letters were helpful. They didn’t contain much though.”

Indeed, the letters didn’t contain much. Riena’s life was rather monotonous, and there wasn’t anything particularly exciting to write about.

If there was anything unusual, it was things like her father’s favorite horse giving birth to a foal, or the apples being particularly delicious that year.

“Even if there wasn’t any special content, I really liked those letters. I read them over and over when times were tough, until the paper became so worn that the writing was barely legible.”

“I see.”

“So when the young lady stopped sending letters, I remember being very sad. Even though I sent letters several times, there was no reply.”

“You say I didn’t reply?”

Riena, who had been listening quietly, asked in surprise before he could finish speaking. Their memories were diverging.

Noticing something strange in Riena’s reaction, Cassel asked back.

“Are you saying that’s not true?”

“I kept sending letters. For over a year after you left, Your Grace. But there was no reply from you at some point, and later, the letters were returned unopened several times. So…”

Riena added a little sadly.

“So I thought you no longer needed my letters and stopped sending them…”

Cassel’s face hardened as well.

“I never returned any letters.”

“But I definitely received returns several times. The letters were just as I had sent them. There was no sign of them being opened at all.”

“The Dyke family wouldn’t have not sent the letters, so it seems the Winckler family did something.”

“Are you saying the Winckler family intercepted the letters?”

“My late father was not pleased that I cherished the young lady’s letters.”

“Why?”

“He said that an heir responsible for a family shouldn’t have anything precious. He said that what’s precious soon becomes a weakness. Of course, when interests conflict, one might make choices against the family’s interests.”

“That’s…”

Isn’t that too cruel?

Not even giving a child struggling without any place of comfort a single letter from a friend?

She had heard that the Dyke family, and the previous Count Dyke, were rather informal for nobles.

But she didn’t know they were living in such a different world.

Riena smiled bitterly.

“I had no idea. I naturally thought you were rejecting my letters. I even resented you a little, no, quite a lot.”

“…”

“You must have resented me a lot too.”

“I didn’t resent you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

There was no trace of lie on Cassel’s face as he answered.

“I never resented the young lady. I was only worried. I wondered if something had happened that prevented you from sending letters.”

Cassel frowned slightly.

“If anything, I only felt sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“Yes. Because I couldn’t keep my promise. I promised I would definitely return to the Dyke mansion.”

Riena waved her hand.

“That was unavoidable. And we did exchange letters a few times…”

She muttered the last part quietly.

“In the end, you came to keep your promise like this.”

It was unclear whether Cassel heard those words or not.

“Anyway, to my father who was raising me as the heir, the existence of Noah, born late, was unwelcome. My father was old, and he must have been worried about entrusting the family to Noah right away. If Noah were to inherit the family at a young age, the Loraine family would interfere a lot with Winckler.”

“That’s difficult.”

“Yes, I think so too.”

Cassel agreed readily.

“My father insisted that I was the heir, and after that, the Winckler family did not interfere with the Loraine viscounty and my sister-in-law. It ended with providing monthly child support. My sister-in-law strongly wished for that, they said, but I don’t know how it actually was.”

“…”

“That’s the story as far as I knew.”

“Then what happened after that?”

Cassel clenched his fist tightly.

“The viscounty seemed to be happy when Noah was born, thinking an heir to Winckler was born. But when Winckler drew the line, Noah was left with nowhere to go. The Loraine viscounty already had an heir. Even if they could arrange a political marriage for Chloe later, it would be difficult for Noah, being male.”

There was also the option of entering another family as a son-in-law, but it seemed the viscounty didn’t want that.

“So it appears they raised Chloe as a child of the viscounty, but neglected Noah. It seems my sister-in-law also abused Noah whenever she saw him, saying he reminded her of my brother.”

And so Noah naturally came to live as if he didn’t exist in the viscounty.

It was heartbreaking that a child who should have grown up receiving only love couldn’t even yearn for love and only wished for death.

“If only I had come a little sooner…”