To You Who No Longer Want Me - Chapter 46

Biare, who needed time to organize her thoughts, was quietly closing her eyes in the carriage.

As she expected, at the Elmada Social Club, she was able to hear various news such as love scandals typically seen in gossip magazines and political issues of the empire.

Among them, the news about Dension kept weighing on her mind, so Biare had to digest her gloomy emotions alone.

“Young lady, how about stopping by the large bookstore?”

Diane, who was sitting next to her and seemed worried about her downcast mood, casually suggested.

As Joian and Tonio also nodded in agreement, Biare accepted this to shake off her thoughts.

After the carriage arrived at the square, Biare, who ordered her loyal servants to spend time freely, diligently climbed the stairs and entered the large bookstore.

She stood for a while in the section where new releases and popular books were displayed together, her gaze fixed on one book.

‘It seems to have become easier to obtain now.’

Even after several years, the book “To Reclaim Destiny” seemed to be consistently published.

Biare had purchased that book in her past life and in this life as well, but she no longer had it now.

Originally, on the day when memories about this book should have been created with Dension, she had waited all day at the dessert cafe with vain hope that he might come.

However, he didn’t come even as night fell, and disappointed, Biare had handed the book over to her maids.

As she was briefly contemplating whether to buy that book again, she raised her head at the voice coming from beside her.

“Do you like these kinds of books?”

‘Sion…’

Flustered by his sudden appearance, Biare barely calmed her trembling heart and answered.

“Yes, because it holds memories.”

Now that the fact that those memories only existed for her deeply sank in, a bitter taste lingered on her lips.

“Hmm, is it an interesting book?”

“…Haven’t you read it?”

Clearly, the past him had said he had read this book, so why hasn’t he read it now? Unrest settled in Biare’s blue-green eyes.

“I’m not very interested in popular novels.”

“…I see.”

‘If I wished for you to remember this book, that would be my selfishness, wouldn’t it?’

Although she knew that he was no longer the Dension she knew, it was never easy to accept this.

As the disappointment she couldn’t quite hide seemed evident on Biare’s face, he noticed and said,

“It’s just that I’m not interested in this genre alone.”

As far as she remembered, Dension enjoyed reading enough to join a literary club.

The memory of often reading books and having deep conversations when they were together was still vivid.

“…Then you might as well read it now.”

“What do you mean?”

“This book. I’ll gift it to you, so please read it.”

That book contained one of the most memorable and brilliant memories of her life intact.

Biare understood well with her head that he didn’t remember this fact, but her heart couldn’t accept it at all.

It felt as if the connection between them was completely disappearing, so she hoped that he would read this book again, even if just once.

Even if nothing would change, she wanted to muster up the courage one more time.

“There’s no need for that, but…”

“It’s a thank you for helping me last time.”

‘So please accept it, Sion.’

“…Alright.”

He, who had looked clearly troubled, eventually accepted Biare’s offer.

As Biare knew, he was strong to the strong and weak to the weak.

He probably still cared since he saw her crying that day.

Biare felt oddly reassured that Dension’s nature remained the same.

When Biare, who had finished paying, offered the wrapped book, he reluctantly accepted the gift.

“I gratefully accept, Princess.”

Biare only wore a faint smile, unable to say anything.

The brief conversation with him moistened her heart like welcome rain in a drought, and her mood that had been down all morning gradually lifted.

Although she wanted to stay with Dension longer, she knew well that she shouldn’t be greedy anymore, so she was about to say goodbye to him.

“Please let me return the favor as well.”

“…A favor?”

As Biare stared at Dension with surprised eyes, he raised the corners of his mouth and showed her the book.

“Didn’t you recommend a good book to me?”

“I’m not sure if it will be a good book for you, Duke.”

Although she had gifted it, Biare became unsure whether “To Reclaim Destiny” would be meaningful to him now.

Seeing Biare trailing off, he spoke in a voice that was indifferent yet somewhat kind.

“Isn’t it good to try a new novel while we’re at it?”

Saying that, he insisted on returning the favor and took Biare out of the bookstore.

When they reached a dessert cafe not far from the bookstore, Biare’s heart sank.

“This place…”

“It’s where I sometimes come to buy snacks for the knights.”

The cafe Dension had brought her to was also a place Biare had stopped visiting for a while.

Wanting to see him even once more, she had visited several times hoping to run into him, but each time she couldn’t meet Dension, so at some point she stopped coming here.

‘Because I didn’t want to hold onto meaningless hope.’

But she never dreamed that he would bring her here, so Biare was just blinking her eyes.

“Aren’t you going in?”

“No, I’ll go in.”

Perhaps because it was a quiet time, the cafe was calm, and the faint scent of coffee and sweet tea brushed past their noses.

As always, Biare took a seat by the window where winter sunlight seeped in, and Dension naturally sat across from her.

He checked what menu Biare wanted and then familiarly ordered from the waiter, and soon the ordered desserts and tea were placed on the table.

As she savored the faint scent of Earl Grey tea and the rich aroma of coffee, her tense heart seemed to soften.

Seeing the pudding accompanied by sweet and slightly bitter marmalade, a silly laugh escaped Biare’s lips.

At that laugh, Dension rather coughed a couple of times and added an excuse.

“The knights like the pudding here, so I sometimes get it to go, and it tastes good.”

‘You still like pudding.’

At first, she simply thought Dension bought pudding to boost the knights’ morale, but as she met him, she couldn’t help but know.

No matter how he tried to hide it, he couldn’t conceal the dimple that sank in and the corners of his mouth that rose slightly whenever he ate pudding.

Seeing such a Dension, Biare would soon burst into laughter.

Confirming that he sitting in front of her now still liked pudding, a welcoming yet bitter smile hung on Biare’s lips.

Dension, who had been watching her without knowing why, asked with a puzzled look.

“…Why are you like that?”

“Because you’re similar to someone I know.”

“Hmm, that person must be handsome too.”

At his playful answer, Biare readily nodded and replied.

“Yes, he was a wonderful person like you, Duke.”

‘More precisely, it was you.’

Biare, who took a sip of tea, quietly took in Dension with her eyes.

His slightly reddened ears and neck seemed to show that he was embarrassed.

Seeing him still shy at compliments, then and now, Biare held a bitter smile.

She never thought she would sit across from him again, drinking tea like this, after turning back time.

For the past few years, she had tried hard to see him even from afar, but she never could meet him, so she had given up hope.

‘What kind of expression should I make now…’

She felt so happy to be able to sit across from him and have a conversation with him that she had longed for, but at the same time, her heart was complicated.

The memories of those times that could never return were so vivid that a part of her heart ached.

Even while seeing Dension right in front of her, she still missed him.

Biare kept leaving nail marks on her palm as her chest felt like it was being torn apart.

She didn’t want to show him tears anymore, but once she looked at him, her tear glands seemed to malfunction and wouldn’t stop.

Eventually, due to the tears that flowed down, Biare lowered her head, and not long after, she could feel a firm hand approaching.

As he was handing her the same handkerchief as in her past life, she raised her head.

That handkerchief was one that the previous Duchess Verdeum had embroidered for her son.

Although it must be a precious item, his kindness in readily handing it over rather made her heart ache more.

“…”

“It seems he was someone precious to you, Princess.”

Because of her blurry vision, she couldn’t see clearly what expression he was making, but Dension’s voice was calmer than usual.

Even when she had returned after escaping time, loneliness was nothing to her.

However, every time she faced the situation where he no longer remembered her, their shared memories, she crumbled helplessly.

‘Now, and in the future, no one will be as precious as you.’

Because she couldn’t convey these feelings to him, she was just shedding tears without being able to answer.

As her emotions became uncontrollable, Biare, who no longer had the confidence to face him, wiped her tears with her sleeve and said,

“I’ll just accept your kind intention for the handkerchief.”

Knowing well how precious it was to him, she couldn’t carelessly accept it.

He, who was sending an indescribable look, soon let out a shallow sigh and answered,

“…I understand.”

This meeting with Dension might be the last. So far, nothing had gone as she wished when it came to him.

Biare pushed aside her complicated emotions and stood up from her seat, giving a light bow.

“Then I’ll take my leave first.”

Leaving Dension, who was about to say something, she hurriedly left the dessert cafe.