To You Who No Longer Want Me - Chapter 15

The drizzle that started in the late dawn repeated intermittently, turning into heavy rain by morning.

The gloomy atmosphere in the dining room was no less depressing than the overcast sky, with no sign of when the rain would stop.

Unable to bear the unfamiliar atmosphere any longer, the Duke finally broke the silent stillness with a heavy sigh.

“Did you two have a fight or something?”

Gaizen merely stared at the plate in front of him, silently cutting his meat without uttering a word.

Biare, too, unlike her usual self, remained silent, fiddling with her teacup.

Although the Duke usually refrained from interfering in matters between his children, he seemed to be growing increasingly worried as he watched the two.

It would be difficult for him to know the details of what had transpired, as it had happened while he was away from the duchy.

The Duke knew well that although the siblings didn’t express themselves well to each other usually, they cared for each other more than anyone else.

Seeing the two at odds was such a rare occurrence that even he appeared perplexed.

If they were younger, he might have tried to make them reconcile directly, but the children were now old enough that they were unlikely to listen to his words.

“Gaizen, you can take a day off from the merchant guild today.”

“All of a sudden?”

“Didn’t you work hard in my place yesterday?”

As he said this, the Duke squinted one eye intently at his son, causing Gaizen to furrow his brow. As if he had seen something unpleasant.

Even if he couldn’t intervene directly, he would at least create time for the children to talk.

This was his own parenting technique, learned from years of being a father to the two children.

Seeing Gaizen reluctantly nod, the Duke finally relaxed and smiled with satisfaction.

As their awkward breakfast came to an end, Biare slowly walked up to her room.

Although it was the same staircase as always, perhaps due to her lack of energy, it seemed there were more steps than usual today.

Entering her room and collapsing onto the bed, Biare frowned at the throbbing headache.

It had been no easy task to sit quietly at the breakfast table, pretending nothing was wrong.

With all her nerves focused on Gaizen, she had become particularly sensitive.

Only after covering her face completely with the blanket, creating a pitch-black view, did Biare seem to finally feel at ease.

After returning to the duchy last night in the carriage Gaizen had provided, she had sat on the bed in a daze, like a person who had lost their mind.

Still unable to shake off the shock, Biare’s hands were cold and trembling uncontrollably.

She was afraid that if she closed her eyes and opened them again, the horrific scene from last night would unfold once more.

Recalling the sight of the floor soaked with blood splattered everywhere, she curled up even more.

Her brother had killed someone last night. And he had done it with a calmness that seemed all too familiar.

The more she thought about it, the more vivid and intense the afterimage became.

All Biare could do was atone for the owner of that blood.

There were so many things she hadn’t been able to confirm or ask her brother about the situation yesterday.

The shock had been so great, and she had been so flustered, that nothing had been properly concluded.

She hadn’t even been able to visit 34 Burnwood Street, which had been her original destination, and had only returned with another burden.

Remembering his actions, which were tinged with cruelty and showed no hesitation, Biare felt nauseous.

The blood that had splattered before her eyes was still vivid, and that image kept being projected onto Gaizen.

She had to find out how Gaizen’s hands had become stained with blood, and what had happened in the meantime.

First, she slowly mulled over Gaizen’s words that had been echoing in her head.

[… Then who else would do it if not me?]

[Why can’t you understand? You shouldn’t do this to me, elder sister!]

‘He says I don’t understand….’

“What on earth are you hiding?”

At dawn the previous day, she had realized Gaizen had returned home when she heard the sound of a door closing from the far end of the corridor.

She had considered going to find him and questioning him forcefully, but she had already given up the expectation that he would confide everything to her.

She thought he would need time to sort out his thoughts just as much as she did, so she decided to watch the situation from afar for a little while.

‘What would Mother have done in this situation….’

After the Duchess passed away, the duchy was consumed by sorrow, and whenever the servants passed by the room where the Duchess had stayed, they all showed sighs and tears.

Especially Gaizen, who had lost his mother at a young age, cried every day.

Biare would hold her little brother’s hand tightly and take him to various places within the duchy.

One day to the garden, the next day to the hill behind, and on another day, they had even secretly escaped the duchy through a dog hole.

She was worried that her young brother, who couldn’t escape from his longing and the void left by his mother, just like their father, might go astray.

Although she couldn’t completely let go of that sadness herself, she didn’t dare show tears to them.

Because she didn’t have the right to do so.

For Biare, taking care of her brother was somewhat of a burdensome task, but she thought she could do anything as long as Gaizen could smile.

Although she couldn’t do it like her mother, Biare of that time could say she had done her best.

Therefore, when she saw the hidden side of her brother, whom she had always thought was under her protection, her feelings were indescribably miserable.

She was scared that she might have ruined her brother.

If Mother were watching this, she wasn’t sure if she would be forgiven.

Biare rubbed her face once and then took a deep breath before exhaling.

With trembling hands, she opened the door and took one step at a time.

Among the many rooms in the long corridor, she and Gaizen were the only ones currently staying on that floor.

The sound of her heels echoed through the long corridor, and soon the waves of sound gently stopped.

Knock knock―

Biare, who had knocked on the door twice, spoke towards the room beyond in a locked voice.

“It’s me, Gaizen.”

Only after a long while did a voice gradually come through, with trembling clearly felt in it.

“Come in, elder sister.”

Although it was a room she had frequently visited for a long time, there was an awkward feeling about entering the room where Gaizen was currently staying.

The atmosphere was quite different from Gaizen’s childhood room, so Biare swallowed dryly as she looked around.

On the long embroidered tablecloth was the chess set he had enjoyed since childhood, and in a small frame was a family portrait.

That was the only trace of youth that could be found in this room.

It was hard to believe it had been a room with good lighting, as curtains were drawn in various places throughout the room, immersed in darkness.

As if trying to hide the scars along with the darkness.

“Don’t tell me you’re… hurt?”

At those words, Gaizen’s shoulders trembled slightly, and he tried to speak calmly as if nothing was wrong.

“It’s just a scratch. It’s nothing.”

Biare had thought nothing of it when he started wearing only black clothes every day and his words became noticeably fewer, assuming it was just a phase of affectation.

But now she could see clearly the things that had flashed through her mind, and Biare couldn’t help but let out a short sigh.

She could only guess that the situation was flowing in an increasingly worsening direction, and it was uncertain whether she could dare to cut off this problem.

“Gaizen, I’ve been mulling over your words all day.”

“…”

As a result, she had come to realize painfully how ignorant and pathetic she had been.

“But no matter how much I think about it, I can’t fully understand what you said.”

“…”

She could only gauge that there was hidden sorrow and resentment in Gaizen’s words.

Unable to watch her brother any longer, Biare added in a voice tinged with despair.

“Can’t you explain it to me? I’m begging you.”

“Elder sister…”

Gaizen’s eyes shook uncontrollably with emotion, and she could only stare at his sunken red eyes.

Gaizen hesitated, then shook his head with a resolute expression.

“I have nothing I can tell you. I’m sorry.”

Biare could only feel frustrated at his adamant attitude of not being able to say anything to her.

Although she had already anticipated that he wouldn’t easily open up, when faced with this reality, her heart felt like it was being torn to shreds.

“This is all to protect you, elder sister. So please, can’t you just leave me alone?”

Gaizen’s words were close to pleading. His eyes now clearly showed anxiety.

“Alright, I won’t demand any immediate answers from you.”

As she said this, Biare tidied Gaizen’s disheveled bangs and added, more rationally than ever before.

“But just tell me this one thing for certain.”

He looked up at his sister without answering. Unable to guess what she was questioning.

That could be taken as somewhat of an affirmative.

Biare hesitated before speaking, as even she thought her question was too absurd.

She didn’t know why, of all the many questions, this one was stuck in her mind.