To Those For Whom Even Regret Is A Luxury (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 3
Sunlight appeared.
The midday sun, tangled and shimmering through my lashes.
What reached my ears was a beautiful piano melody—and Grandfather’s gentle voice.
“Oh dear, you’re smiling so sweetly! To already appreciate the beauty of a sonata—truly, you are my granddaughter! Perhaps you’ll become a musician after me one day.”
My beloved granddaughter, my muse.
Grandfather whispered fondly, while the child, not even understanding his words, smiled brightly in return.
That was my first memory.
“Father! Don’t tease Ariana. How can such a little child possibly play piano already? Come here, sweetheart. Let’s have some snacks.”
“But I’m telling you—it’s true! She really knows how to add harmonies!”
Watching Grandfather and Mother smile so clearly within reach, I realized.
‘Ah… so I really am…’
Dying.
This scene was the play the Grim Reaper shows the dying—a fleeting panorama called life, flashing behind closed eyelids.
In the next scene, the child was weeping bitterly before Grandfather’s and Mother’s funerals.
Their deaths were sudden. And from that day on, the “illustrious musical house” of Count Lopez began its steep decline.
Unlike Grandfather, Father’s compositions were met with scathing reviews one after another.
“Damn it! Now that I’ve finally escaped that old fogey’s shadow, you expect me to churn out cheap imitations? Hah! Don’t make me laugh. I’m Count Lopez now!”
The more he insisted, the more Father published pieces that strayed completely from the “authentic Lopez style.”
As if compensating for the years he’d spent as a son-in-law to the Lopez household, living under his father-in-law’s watchful eye.
Audiences gradually stopped coming to the Lopez Opera House. By the time Father finally staged Grandfather’s works, it was already too late.
Father drowned himself in alcohol every day. More than once, he dragged home women he’d kissed while drunk, clutching their wrists.
Then one day, he brought home a little girl.
“Hello, say hello. This child will be your younger sister from now on.”
She was as cute as a doll.
For the first time, I thought God had granted my wish—I’d always wanted a little sister.
“Are you a princess, Nee? Elena’s only seen sparkly dresses like this in fairy tales!”
Elena was like a gift from God.
In a house with a drunkard of a father and an older brother who avoided me, Elena was the only one who ever smiled at me.
‘Because she called me family. Because she called me “older sister.”’
Though she did covet my jewelry and necklaces excessively—even going so far as to lay hands on Mother’s keepsake, the one thing I’d been told never to give away.
Then one day, Father collapsed from acute alcohol poisoning. The moment he was declared brain-dead, the title of head of household passed to young Edward.
Edward, who had just graduated from the Royal Academy of Arts, became count overnight and tried desperately to revive our family’s legacy—just as Father had.
Yet Edward’s compositions received nothing but criticism for being stale and dull—just as Father’s had.
The air inside our home grew even more oppressive than before.
Creating melodies—through voice, through piano—had been my only lifeline…
“Ariana! Can’t you shut up? Your amateurish playing is ruining my concentration!”
Because Edward hated it so intensely, I couldn’t even do that anymore.
Then one day, Lucas appeared—he was salvation falling upon me like a comet.
“Ariana, the melodies you create are truly beautiful.”
With Lucas’s encouragement, I played piano in front of my family for the first time since Grandfather’s passing.
Lucas declared I had talent and began offering me full support. Edward and Lucas quickly aligned, and together they brought my music to the stage.
Critics raved after my debut performance. And again after the next, and the one after that.
“The illustrious musical house of Lopez has returned!”
Smiles began blooming once more on my family’s faces.
People began praising the Lopez name once again.
That alone made me overwhelmingly happy.
Blissfully unaware that the very family I believed gave my life meaning was exploiting me.
“No matter what happens, your happiness must always come first, Ariana. Understand? All this old man wants is for you to be healthy and happy.”
“I’m sorry, Grandfather.”
Tears seeping from my lips tasted of blood.
Foolish, naive Ariana.
But if only—just once, just one more chance were given…
No matter how desperately I prayed, my consciousness finally lost all light.
* * *
“…miss, Miss Ariana!”
I gasped for breath like a fish hauled up from the water.
“Goodness, miss! Are you all right?”
I stared blankly at my gradually clearing vision.
Had the life-panorama still not ended?
How long must I endure this punishment of reliving my foolish past?
“Miss! Miss!”
Startled by the hands shaking my shoulders, I turned my head instinctively.
And then my heart nearly stopped.
“…Sophie?”
“Oh thank goodness, you’re coming to!”
Sophie beamed with relief. Her vibrant, living smile left me utterly spellbound.
But Sophie…
‘She’s dead.’
Three years ago, Sophie died in a sudden fire that engulfed our mansion.
I remembered commemorating the third anniversary of her death just days ago—and now Sophie stood before me, gazing at me with concern.
“How… how are you here…?”
A place where the dead Sophie existed.
Then… was this the afterlife?
“You suddenly collapsed—what a fright! Are you really okay? I told you I’d handle this myself, honestly.”
Sophie helped me up and began wiping spilled tea from the floor.
Staring at the chaotic brown stains, I asked blankly,
“What… is all this?”
“Oh dear! Marquis Pedegrin is attending tea time, and you said you wanted to prepare the tea yourself, remember?”
Marquis Pedegrin.
At the mention of Lucas’s name, my body went cold.
“…Where is Lucas now?”
“Lucas? Oh, you mean His Lordship? Hmm, I’m not sure… He said he wanted to take a walk in the garden until the snacks are ready—maybe he’s outside?”
Drawn as if entranced by Sophie’s words, I stepped into the garden.
The scenery brushing past my eyes felt strangely off—decorations popular years ago appeared everywhere.
Suppressing this dissonance, I moved forward.
My husband’s face—the last one I’d seen—flickered in my mind.
“You really should’ve kept your mouth shut.”
His shameless, guiltless expression as he held my younger sister close.
“…Lucas.”
I froze mid-step.
It didn’t matter whether this was a life-panorama or a hallucination. I had to slap his face.
I couldn’t be dragged into the afterlife without exacting even a scrap of revenge.
Just as I aimlessly pushed through the garden—
“My lord, please! Stop that.”
A voice dripping with coquettish sweetness scraped against my eardrums.
‘…Elena.’
There was no mistaking it.
I’d stayed awake for hundreds of nights just to craft songs that would let that voice bloom in its most beautiful form.
Feeling my blood turn to ice, I walked toward the sound.
In a secluded corner of the garden, beyond a shadowy rosebush, two silhouettes were entwined.
“I’m not in the mood today! Didn’t you say the date for your wedding with my sister has been set? Don’t you know how heartbroken I am right now?”
“Don’t think of it that way. It’s even better this way—we’ll finally live under the same roof. Right?”
“Oh my! So you’re saying we’ll keep doing this even after you’re married?”
“Isn’t that obvious? How could I ever give up my little fairy? You’d die of boredom without me.”
“Heh! You shameless rogue! My sister has no idea at all!”
Elena playfully tapped Lucas’s chest—and my former husband pulled her closer.
“…Huh.”
A crushing sense of déjà vu triggered a sharp headache.
I stepped backward slowly, retreating carefully.
‘So it started here…’
I hadn’t believed Elena’s claim that it was just a one-night mistake.
But I never imagined their affair had begun before the wedding itself.
Just how long had this stale deception been going on?
The determination to slap his face was swallowed by a wave of exhaustion burning like wildfire.
Blankly stumbling back, I eventually collapsed onto the grass.
For some reason, laughter kept bubbling up—this whole farce was disgustingly laughable.
“Ariana. What are you doing here?”
A voice called out then.
I looked up to see my older brother approaching.
For a moment, his neat face overlapped with the one from my final moments—forcing my bloodied fingers onto a seal.
His lips, twisted into a demon’s grin.
“…Ugh.”
Covering my mouth as nausea surged, Edward furrowed his brow.
“What the hell? Did you eat something bad or what? …Anyway. Come to my room after tea. You didn’t forget about today’s ‘lesson,’ did you?”
Lesson.
Ever since Lucas showed interest in my music, Edward had frequently summoned me, claiming he’d give me composition lessons.
In truth, it was just an excuse to steal my compositions under the guise of “improving” them.
Gazing up at his shameless face, I quietly asked,
“Brother… what year, month, and day is today?”
“What nonsense are you spouting…? Quit acting so dazed. What if His Lordship gets tired of you? Do you really think there’s another match as grand as the House of Marquis Pedegrin for you?”
“I asked what year, month, and day it is.”
At my low, repeated question, Edward flinched slightly.
He narrowed his eyes, studying me oddly before replying with a frown,
“…It’s November 27th, 325. The Saint Verdicte Festival opera is in a month.”
325. Precisely five years before the day I remembered.
Lowering my head slowly, I closed my eyes.
Had I truly returned to the past? Or was I merely wandering through a mad hallucination on the brink of death?
Ah… actually, maybe it didn’t matter anymore.
“Ariana?”
I lifted my head. Edward stared at me with uncharacteristic bewilderment.
Meeting his eyes—so strikingly like my own blue ones—I smiled sweetly.
“About the ‘lesson’ today—I just had a wonderful musical idea.”
“What?”
Edward’s eyes widened at my sudden words.
I beamed brightly and said,
“Would you like to hear it now?”
Male lead says he’s pregnant — and it’s female lead’s child
Something seems a bit off about this world.
Wang Zhao thought as she watched a pregnant man walking towards her…
Intro
Female lead finds herself in a world where the men who possess the ability to bear children.
As she navigates this unfamiliar reality, she is caught off guard by the sudden appearance of her boyfriend, who reveals that he is pregnant.
Is this truly her boyfriend?
Why can’t she recall any details about their time together?
She begins to doubt whether the child her boyfriend is carrying is even hers.
Is there a hidden reason behind her amnesia, or could it be a side effect of her sudden arrival in this strange new world?
Just when it seems the protagonist’s life couldn’t become any more entangled, her ex-boyfriend makes an unexpected appearance, raising questions about the protagonist’s past.
__________
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