To Those For Whom Even Regret Is A Luxury - Chapter 58

What did I just hear?

“Right here, right now.”

Dante continued slowly.

With a voice as captivating as a sea demon’s, while urging me to sing.

“Sing for me.”

‘What is this……’

I couldn’t think of anything in response to this unexpected request.

Asking for a song. Why?

Suddenly, a memory from long ago invaded my mind.

“Your voice is truly beautiful.”

“Well, of course. She’s the granddaughter of the great Eduardo Lopez. Naturally, her musical sense would be excellent.”

“I’m really looking forward to today’s performance.”

I bit my lip and shook my head.

“Your Grace. I don’t know how to sing.”

“Lies.”

My eyes widened slightly at the firm denial. Dante’s voice was filled with certainty.

As I wondered why, the answer came to me.

‘……Ah.’

“Now that I think about it, I remember. Eduardo entering the palace holding his granddaughter’s hand. She was a girl who sang as sweetly as a lark.”

That’s right. When the Emperor said those words, this man was also there.

I shook my head again.

“If you’re saying this because of what His Majesty said, it’s true that I was like that when I was young, but it was just childish recklessness. But I’ve grown up now, and I know what shame is. I can’t disturb Your Grace’s ears with my inadequate skills.”

After carefully speaking, I suggested an alternative.

“If you want to hear a song, I can ask Rosalyn to……”

“I don’t need any other woman.”

Dante said, furrowing his brow.

“What I’m asking for is you.”

“……”

Why was he being so insistent?

I couldn’t understand the reason, but I slowly nodded.

“……I understand.”

It was true that I hadn’t sung for a very long time.

A scratchy reluctance tickled my throat, but that was just my feeling. It couldn’t be a reason to refuse Dante’s request.

To begin with, it wasn’t such a difficult request. If I thought of it as payment for all these instruments, it was actually too cheap.

‘So, start now.’

I slowly opened my mouth.

“……”

Hundreds of arias came to mind.

Whether with lyrics or just humming, I just had to let it out.

……And yet.

“Ugh……”

The moment I opened my lips and put strength in my throat, the moment I moved my tongue to pronounce the lyrics.

It felt like a fireball was lodged in my throat.

“……Ariana?”

The voice calling me sounded a bit distant. I breathed shallowly.

“Ariana.”

Dante gripped my shoulders tightly.

I slowly looked up. Dante’s figure appeared blurry and distorted.

“You’re trembling.”

Dante looked over my body with a bewildered expression.

Only then did I realize that my body was shaking terribly.

Biting my lower lip, I shook my head.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try again.”

“Damn it. Ariana.”

Dante roughly ran his hand through his hair.

“If you don’t want to do it, just say so.”

“I can do it.”

“I didn’t ask if you could, I asked how you felt. Can’t you tell the difference?”

I looked up at Dante blankly.

Dante spoke strongly, as if engraving it in my ears.

“Don’t do it. Things you don’t want to do.”

“……”

“Because no one can force you to do such things.”

It was a very unfamiliar statement.

Everyone always told me to do something.

To do things for the sake of family, for the sake of business.

After biting my lip once, I soon spoke up.

“I don’t…… dislike singing.”

After a moment of silence, I continued in a small voice.

“I think I liked it. In the past.”

“I know.”

I stared blankly at Dante.

How did this man know about my ‘past’? Could it be related to that memory he said I should recall?

As I lost my words for a moment, Dante urged me on.

“What happened?”

I hesitated slightly.

This person must have passed through countless scars of death and pain while roaming the battlefield.

It felt too insignificant a story to share in front of such a person.

“It’s nothing much.”

As I mumbled, suddenly losing confidence, Dante said firmly.

“I never asked you to put a value on your story.”

“……”

When he put it that way, I had no choice but to open my mouth.

“At fifteen, I was supposed to sing at my debut ball…… Um, well.”

Perhaps because it was a story I had never shared with anyone, it was somewhat disjointed. Dante quietly watched me as I clumsily continued.

The stage that day was…….

How should I describe it, yes. It was a complete mess.

From the moment the pianist played the first note, I realized something was wrong. The pitch was far too high compared to the sheet music.

‘Not only that, but the instruments were out of sync with each other.’

As if they were deliberately playing a malicious prank.

The notes were ridiculously high, the rhythm was all over the place so I didn’t know what to match, and everyone was just staring at me.

Up to that point, it was fine.

Until my throat started to swell and itch.

“Ah, ugh, I can’t breathe……”

I have a mild oyster allergy, but suddenly symptoms that should only appear after eating a lot hit me.

I collapsed, clutching my throat. My whole body swelled up, itchy and stinging.

The skin I had carefully nurtured for this day turned bright red and looked ugly even to me.

“Kyaaah! Why, why is she like that? The child is swelling up!”

“Someone do something!”

“Is she sick? Damn, is it contagious?!”

On the stage I had climbed to showcase myself, I collapsed ungracefully.

It was Edward who dragged me down.

After calling a doctor and barely avoiding death, Edward yelled at me.

“What the hell, Ariana! What on earth did you eat to end up like that?!”

“No, the only food I’m allergic to is oysters, and I didn’t even touch them today……!”

“Then why did you cause such a scene earlier! Do you know how hideous you looked!”

“……”

“It’s not like we expected you to captivate the audience with amazing singing skills. You just had to do it normally, but you ruined even that! What will people say about us? They’ll say that the once-great music family has now rusted to the point where they can’t even sing one song at a debut ball!”

Did people really say such things? I don’t know about that.

But it was true that our family’s fortunes were rapidly declining around that time.

Edward berated me whenever he remembered it, until the incident was forgotten.

That ugly incident had tarnished our reputation as a musical family. Because of me, the name of the Lopez Count family had become a laughingstock in high society.

For a while, I had the same nightmare every night.

Laughter and discordant instrument sounds mocking me, and me turning into an ugly, swollen red balloon floating among them.

After that day, I never sang again.

Until today, I hadn’t bothered to dig up that trauma.

‘Now that I think about it, I think I know what really happened.’

I remembered Elena handing me a fruit juice, saying it was good for the throat, before I went on stage.

The sudden allergic reaction I had was probably because Elena had tampered with that juice.

It was something simple enough for a child to do, yet too wicked to think a child could do it.

Before I knew it, a hollow laugh escaped me.

“The more I hear, the more it’s just horror stories. About your family.”

I looked up reflexively at the cold voice and was startled.

Dante’s face was frozen coldly. Cold enough to give me chills just by looking at it.

Dante was angry. On my behalf.

Realizing this fact, a strange sensation tickled my heart.

Unable to contain the embarrassed feeling, I opened my mouth.

“I’m sorry, I showed such a weak side. Because of something that happened so long ago. Usually, I live completely forgetting about it, but today, somehow I……”

I couldn’t continue.

A strong arm wrapped around my shoulders.

“Save the act of pretending to be strong for others.”

A low voice was heard from above my head.

With my face buried in his firm embrace, I slowly blinked.

“It doesn’t work on me anyway.”

Only then did I realize that my body was still trembling slightly.

Warm body heat and a deep scent flowed into my embraced body.

There were no special words, but I could tell. This was this person’s way of comforting.

How long had I been embraced? Suddenly, Dante’s voice was heard from above my head.

“Open your lips.”

Dante lifted my chin and whispered, tilting his head slightly.

“I won’t ask you to sing.”

I exhaled a faint breath. Once, twice, three times.

After hesitation, I opened my lips as if entranced.

There was no one watching us, so there was no need to act like an affectionate ducal couple.

Yet the kiss continued. Long and deep.

For now, I didn’t feel any discomfort with that fact. I was just overwhelmed by the sensations and body heat flowing into me.