To Those For Whom Even Regret Is A Luxury - Chapter 40

“……”

Of course, I didn’t expect applause or cheers, but this level of non-reaction was unexpected.

As I slightly moistened my strangely dry lips, I quietly thought.

Was it useless? Did I do something unnecessary?

‘Well, someone who couldn’t be put to sleep even with strong alcohol.’

The decision to gift this music was half impulsive.

Yesterday, when I found him asleep leaning against the terrace doorway, I recalled.

When I used to spend almost every night preparing for the stage, looking out the window, the lights in the office or study were always on.

I thought he was just a great workaholic.

Until I saw Dante sleeping like the dead yesterday.

‘It wasn’t that he didn’t sleep, but that he couldn’t sleep.’

A terrible and persistent demon that devours the night. That’s what people called insomnia.

Even this man, who seemed stronger than anyone, was being consumed by that demon.

The reason I could be sure was simple.

Because I too had nights when I suffered from the same symptoms.

Once, this music was what cured the gradually deepening insomnia as I waited for Lucas who didn’t return.

‘But of course, individual differences would be significant.’

Thinking this, I turned to look at the still silent man.

“……”

My eyes gently widened.

Eyes that looked dark like shadows due to the backlight were directed at me.

A gaze that stared at me without a single tremor.

I couldn’t move an inch, as if pierced by that gaze.

I carefully steadied my breath and observed Dante’s demeanor.

I had become adept at reading reactions, to the point where I could accurately predict the success of this performance just by looking at the audience’s expressions.

However, I couldn’t read this man’s expression at all.

Why was there no response, no reaction? What meaning was there in that gaze without the slightest movement?

Suddenly, he began to step towards me.

Clang.

My startled fingers pressed a key, making a sound.

“……”

The air was momentarily disturbed by the sound, comical like a sound effect in a play.

Heh.

Dante let out a laugh between his teeth and reached in front of me.

As I was about to lower my hand under the piano, swallowing my embarrassment.

Dante’s hand overlapped on the back of mine.

Unlike his cool appearance, his hands were quite warm. I could also feel the calluses firmly embedded in each protruding part of his palm.

Accepting all those sensations with a sense of unreality, I held my breath.

“Talent is.”

The large hand slowly turned mine over.

I felt his deep gaze quietly scanning my palm. As if checking if these hands really played the music just now.

Soon, he raised his gaze and met my eyes.

I blankly watched as the corners of Dante’s eyes crinkled.

“Indeed fascinating.”

Thump.

My heart leaped greatly.

Feeling my breathing become irregular, I curled my hand. When I reflexively put strength in my hand, Dante readily let me go.

Even though the body heat had left, my rapidly beating heart didn’t slow down.

‘This person likes my music.’

Dante likes talented musicians.

In my previous life, he kept trying to recruit me, and in this life, he readily offered a large sum for one song.

So this embarrassing and strangely shrinking feeling wasn’t an appropriate response. I should have been proud and confident.

But no matter how I tried to puff out my chest, it didn’t work well.

All I could do now was barely hide my agitation. While being grateful that the darkness was covering my expression.

I looked up at Dante, trying hard to put on an nonchalant expression.

“I suppose it was thanks to Your Excellency’s efforts that an article could appear in ?”

If Dante hadn’t moved directly, there’s no way that conservative newspaper would have published such a quick article.

Of course, Dante would have acted in a way that was more beneficial to him.

The more Lucas and Elena’s misdeeds were revealed to the world, the more my reputation as Dante’s future wife would rise in contrast.

“It may be insufficient as repayment, but this was all I could think of to give you right now. It’s a type of music that helps with mental stability, and I hear that in the Ende Kingdom, they even use this kind of music for psychological therapy. …If you liked it, I could write out the score and bring it to you.”

“No need for the score.”

At the unhesitating immediate answer, I looked up at Dante with surprised eyes.

“You come and play it yourself. Whenever I want.”

“……”

“For instance, on a night when sleep is particularly elusive.”

The last words were faint, as if talking to himself.

I blinked my eyes rapidly. It was common for artists supported by nobles to showcase their talents for their patrons.

But my lips wouldn’t open easily. Somehow… it felt like I shouldn’t spend many nights like this. My instincts were sounding such a warning.

Dante, who had been staring at my silent self, abruptly said.

“And there’s no need to thank me particularly. I’m doing it because I find it entertaining.”

“…Pardon?”

At the unexpected answer, I opened my eyes wide, and Dante slightly curved the corners of his mouth.

“These days, you’re quite amusing to me. Thanks to you, I’m having quite a bit of fun watching. More than I expected.”

“……”

“Of course, even if there’s no need for thanks, you’ll have to pay the price. Lopez.”

His low murmuring voice was seductive.

Like a devil demanding a soul in exchange for granting a wish.

“It’s good to see your revenge going smoothly, but don’t forget. What you’ve staked in return for using me.”

A gaze that stared at me without a single tremor.

I couldn’t move an inch, as if pierced by that gaze.

Feeling the roof of my mouth drying, I slowly nodded.

“Of course. I will do my best to fulfill my role as the Duchess.”

Pleased with my compliant answer, Dante smiled lightly.

“From tomorrow, people will start visiting. We need to hurry with the wedding preparations.”

When I nodded once more, Dante’s smile deepened a bit.

Was he always someone who smiled this often?

Every time a smile overlaid his features that exuded a cold feeling, perhaps because it was an unexpected sight, my heart would beat heavily once.

“By the way.”

I was absentmindedly observing the smile lingering on Dante’s lips when I was slightly surprised by his next words.

“I intend to make you the most precious bride in the empire.”

Another voice overlapped with the low whispering voice.

“Don’t act foolishly and come this way. Who knows? I might cherish you like a jewel.”

The days when I was withering away miserably, not even knowing the nature of this misfortune.

The voice from the past that approached me, claiming to be the only one to recognize me and want my music, despite having no connection with me.

‘Is it a coincidence?’

In my past life and in this life, you are the only one who has said you would treat me preciously.

Is it merely a coincidence that only you whisper the same words to me in any timeline?

“So be prepared.”

I bit my lip tightly and lowered my eyes.

Dante seemed to look down at me like that and abruptly said.

“So, have you remembered what you’ve forgotten?”

“……”

Again, that story.

Since Dante had made those meaningful remarks last time, I had rummaged through my mind for a long time, but couldn’t grasp any clues.

After slightly moistening my lips, I said.

“If you could give me a little hint……”

“I said I wouldn’t.”

Why on earth.

For a moment, I couldn’t hide the look of resentment as I stared at him.

As if he had read my gaze completely, Dante curved his lips.

“Remember, Lopez.”

“……”

I bit my lip tightly.

No one calls me like that except this man. Usually, ‘Lopez’ was used to address Edward, the head of the family.

Perhaps this unfamiliar form of address is also one of the reasons why I get unusually nervous in front of this person.

Just as I opened my mouth to speak more words of protest, I stopped breathing.

“I’m sorry, but I……”

Dante, who had grasped my chin, tilted his head slightly.

“Don’t intend to wait that long.”

The hand holding my chin. The angle of the tilted head.

What came to mind at that moment was the instant those well-shaped lips had swallowed my breath.

The heat and dizzying sensations from that time. So intense that it seemed impossible to forget.

With my nails digging into my palms as I clenched my fists tightly, I bowed my head.

“Then, I wish you a good night.”

And with that, I left the room as if escaping.

My face flushed at the faint sound of laughter coming from behind me.

Returning to my bedroom, I let out a sigh.

The suppressed breath flowed out deeply.

What on earth is it that I can’t remember?

Suddenly, I recalled what Dante had said when we first met in Paradise.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you for the first time, Duke.”

“For the first time?”

That strangely frowning expression then.

‘Had we… met before?’