Feeling her lips dry, Nerea raised the corners of her mouth. She could sense the black eyes looking at her with an indescribable expectation.
“I needed that. Thank you.”
“I’m glad. Then have sweet dreams, knight.”
The words rose with transparent joy. The title attached to that kind word ending stung Nerea like a thorn, but she couldn’t say anything to the following words.
“For the ten years I couldn’t see you, I really wanted to do this. To say good night.”
.
.
.
Dark room.
In a place where the faint light of the night lamp was all there was, Nerea sat on the bed, staring at the door Alejandro had left through. Suddenly, Heather’s voice came to mind.
“It was a widespread rumor in the Esteban territory. They said that after Baron Jenax’s second son left home, he was beaten to death on the street. After that, it’s said that Baron and Baroness Jenax locked the doors of the mansion and didn’t let anyone in, treating the day their second young master left like a memorial day. I heard that even Lord Jenax finds it difficult to enter the mansion.”
“…When did he leave home?”
“Well, it was shortly after you left the family, miss.”
If it was shortly after she left the Esteban Count’s family, Alejandro was only thirteen years old.
Thirteen years old, crying with sunken cheeks, begging her to take him away.
Bang-. As she struck the bedside table, a dull pain ran up her wrist. It was a foolish thing she would never do normally, but Nerea bit her lip instead of regretting it.
The rising anger rather sharpened and pierced herself.
Well. Who was to blame? It was her choice to cover her ears, cover her eyes, and come to this place.
“This time it was Baron Jenax’s leg, but who will it be next time? Ah, I heard that stupid child following you has fallen ill. They say he might go blind from fever if he’s not careful.”
When her stepmother Helen said those words, her father was standing behind her.
Even when she boldly revealed that she was the one who had damaged the leg of Baron Jenax, who had been the closest vassal of Esteban up to her mother’s generation, her father remained silent.
From that moment, Gabe was no longer the father Nerea had loved.
She had to bitterly regret the time she had foolishly believed in him.
Well, how could she have believed so firmly in someone who had given his daughter such a terrible name?
A hollow laugh escaped her lips as Nerea’s aqua eyes sank coldly.
Nevertheless, five years ago, it was Johan Jenax who sent Heather to this house. Then the Jenax Baron family must still have been loyal vassals of the Esteban Count family.
From Johan’s perspective, who didn’t know the circumstances, it made sense since they had expelled Vassal Moore, who had injured Baron Jenax.
But that guy, who cherished his family and younger sibling to the point of tears, wouldn’t have simply pushed his thirteen-year-old brother out.
Then why did Alejandro leave the family at thirteen? Why did he not communicate to the point where rumors of his death spread?
In a situation where questions led to more questions, there was one thing she was most curious about.
Why. Why did that child come looking for me?
Her heart throbbed. Alejandro, who appeared with an indifferent face. The child who smiled the same as she remembered, giving her the night lamp just like before.
“Um, knight. If you’re scared of the night, turn this on. If you press here, it lights up, and then the night becomes less scary.”
Who was scared? The voice that had been steadfast for her while trembling so much that his once chubby arms shook kept coming to mind.
Sleep wouldn’t come. Nerea tossed and turned diligently. Then at some point, she looked out the window. A single star twinkled in the deep sky.
Guardian of the first star. Alejandro.
Just like that night when she had searched for the most precious name to give to that child.
Nerea slowly closed her eyes. In the complete darkness, a familiar voice was heard.
[This is the timeline separator]“My little count. Shall we go to the master’s room again today?”
The shield of Castarty. The Esteban Count family.
The eldest daughter of the excellent knight, Count Lillian Esteban. From the moment of her birth, Nerea was surrounded by the most precious things.
Glittering gold and jewels, and love and affection that were incomparably more brilliant than those.
Among them, Nerea’s favorite thing was to enter the ‘master’s room’ with her mother.
When standing in the room where portraits of past ancestors hung in a row, her mother would tell stories of the ancestors in a voice as gentle as sunlight.
Every time she heard the stories of ancestors who took up swords for the country they had to protect and the people they wanted to protect, Nerea always wondered.
How strong must the desire to protect be to go out onto that terrifying battlefield in person? That curiosity settled even deeper within her with one word from her mother.
“When you grow up, your portrait will hang here then.”
“Me?”
Three-year-old Nerea just tilted her head.
To think that she would be hung among these dignified adults wearing dull armor and holding swords. When the only things she had in common with the ancestors were just her flaming red hair and aqua eyes.
Then her mother would hug Nerea tightly and smile brightly.
Every time she was embraced in that rock-solid embrace, Nerea would deeply inhale her mother’s scent.
A faint earthy smell and a pungent medicinal smell, and a gentle fragrance that encompassed all of it.
“Yes, my little count. The strongest and most beautiful jewel in the world. This Esteban is entirely yours.”
Nerea loved her mother.
Even when her fiery red hair turned white.
Even when the harsh medicinal smell grew stronger. Even when her rock-solid body crumbled helplessly and could no longer rise.
It was the winter when Nerea turned four. The grand funeral lasted for two weeks. Under the gray sky, Nerea only held her father’s hand.
Unlike her mother who was hard and bumpy, her father’s hand only had a few smooth calluses.
Her always busy but affectionate father forgot to hug Nerea after that day, saying his sorrow was too great.
The maids’ consolation might have been right.
After all, her father often forgot to take care of young Nerea during the funeral. So Nerea heard all the words that the nobles attending the funeral carelessly uttered.
“To think the head of the family would go so easily, even though she was weak.”
“I heard her body was badly damaged in the war with Gauwe. How could she have been in that state and still give birth to a child?”
“By the way, the Count consort hit the jackpot. I heard he married from a collateral line, but to think he’d even get the title of Count.”
“Haven’t you heard the rumors? They say the deceased Countess nailed it down with her will? That the title must pass to her daughter no matter what. The Count consort will only play the role of guardian at most.”
The difficult words they whispered strangely settled in a corner of Nerea’s heart.
Whenever an uneasy feeling waved as if something was about to happen, Nerea looked for her father, but her father never held Nerea’s hand.
Then the day after the funeral ended.
“Greet her, Nerea. Helen will help with the family affairs from now on.”
The first thing her father did after becoming the acting Count was to bring in a woman. Helen, who had been her mother’s maid, and her daughter Brianna.
Her father stood next to Helen and Brianna and introduced them. It was a very strange thing, even for young Nerea to feel.
As expected, the vassals’ opposition rained down upon seeing Helen, who had been her mother’s maid, and her daughter Brianna.
“How can Lady Tylesbury, who was merely the late Countess’s maid, help with any of the Count family’s affairs? A woman with only a daughter and no husband!”
The sarcastic words were sharp. Nerea looked anxiously back and forth between her father and the vassals.
None of the tall adults looked after Nerea. It was when the fierce atmosphere was shaking the first floor hall.
It was Helen, who had been her mother’s maid, who covered Nerea’s ears amidst the chaotically flying words, and it was her daughter Brianna who held her hand.
Helen, who had always been kind, soothed Nerea, saying it was okay while pursing her lips. Brianna, who was the same age, just nodded with blue eyes brimming with tears. They instantly burrowed into Nerea’s heart.
The warmth that had been lost throughout the funeral gently enveloped Nerea. In the end, Nerea burst into tears.
Her silent father and the pressing vassals all quietly looked at Nerea. As if they had just discovered her.
From that day on, Helen became Nerea’s nanny and came to live in the Count’s mansion.
But it was also from then that the kind Helen changed somehow strangely.
“Oh. That’s my dress.”
When she came to the playroom after finishing her studies, Brianna was wearing Nerea’s pink dress. Helen smiled lightly.
“It’s too small for you anyway, miss.”
I see. Until then, it wasn’t a big deal for Nerea. But when Brianna looked at Nerea while fiddling with the sleeve of the dress, Nerea felt a chill down her spine.
Brianna’s blue eyes, which she had thought were pretty like beads, flickered with a strange desire.
But because Brianna quickly squinted her eyes again and smiled docilely, Nerea thought she had seen wrong.
From that day on, Nerea came to share everything she had with Brianna.
From dresses to shoes, fancy accessories and lessons for Nerea, and toys. Finally, even the reception room for the legitimate child.
The moment the place that had been used as the reception room for the legitimate child for generations changed to Brianna’s room, Nerea went to find her father. No matter that she was only four years old, her raised senses were distinguishing right from wrong.
But when she went to her father’s room, Helen and Brianna were already there.
“I’m sorry, miss. I just thought that room was the best for going to the library.”
“You shouldn’t be greedy, Miss Nerea. You don’t read books much anyway.”
Brianna burst into tears as if she was sorry. Helen embraced Brianna’s shoulders and coaxed Nerea in a seemingly gentle voice.
“Our Brianna even gave up her only mother’s lullaby because she felt sorry for you, miss. The only thing you can share with our Brianna are these material things.”
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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