That’s why I was grateful for Heather.

Next to the young child who giggled at the mere sight of leaves rolling, the knight laughed heartily and smiled abundantly.

That was something I couldn’t do. On the battlefield, the knight always pretended to be fine, acted strong, as if everything would pass and there was no problem.

“No. You were the first to teach me the joy of receiving gifts, Alejandro.”

“…Pardon?”

Alejandro responded a beat late to the puzzling words. A bright smile pooled in the knight’s aquamarine eyes. It was dazzling, like summer sunlight bursting freshly in the curved eye line.

“You chose them together, didn’t you? My birthday gifts. With the Baron.”

How… I was sure you wouldn’t know. Surprise poured from his large eyes.

“Don’t you know the Baron’s temperament? Every time he sent a gift, he honestly wrote that the young second son helped choose it.”

“But…”

Alejandro tried to steady his trembling voice.

“That’s from much more than twelve years ago.”

Alejandro thought it was just his own memory.

Nerea Esteban, the heir to the Count who adored him and gave him a precious name. So every summer, on her birthday, Alejandro always followed his father, scouring every shop in the Jenax territory.

“Father, let’s get this. The young Count could wield this wooden sword. If she trains with this, it will nourish her to become an excellent Count.”

Wooden swords and shields, gauntlets, and various protective gear. But within a few years, all the gifts sent to the knight returned to the Jenax mansion.

Rumors said the Count’s proxy had destroyed all the received gifts.

Alejandro unknowingly held his breath. Soon, the knight’s red lips parted.

“That’s why I was even happier.”

The knight I thought was clumsy.

“Memories of receiving gifts you wanted as a child become very precious nourishment.”

And the knight who was more honest than anyone in the world.

“Back then, I really wanted my own sword. And also…”

I wonder if the knight knows. That once, I wished for something similar to what the knight said.

Alejandro swallowed the surge of emotion and looked at the knight.

The joy of childhood rose transparently over the aquamarine eyes. Both the quivering red lips and the eyes that rolled like round candy, slowly focusing, sparkled endlessly.

Instinctively, Alejandro reached out. Noticing the slow approach, the knight smiled at Alejandro.

“So don’t forget. I didn’t forget either.”

The sound of palms meeting was cheerful. Tracing the quickly vanished sensation on his palm, Alejandro murmured.

“Knight.”

“Yes?”

“Your hand is so…”

Small. The warmth that touched my hand was so small. In that moment, Alejandro abruptly stood up.

It felt as if the dizzying summer sunlight had suddenly enveloped Alejandro. As if burned, his ear lobes, nape, and a small part of his palm, finally reaching his heart.

Alejandro fled aimlessly.

.

.

.

“Those legs are long.”

To think he’d go that far in just a few steps. Nerea quietly watched Alejandro’s retreating figure.

He had a natural build for becoming a knight. A tall stature that required looking up, broad shoulders above a firm body.

Yet, the way his black, fluffy hair ruffled in the wind was the same as ever.

Nerea laughed weakly, feeling drained. Talking about memories made people soft while simultaneously reminding them of the harsh reality.

How dare I mention the Baron. And in front of Alejandro, no less.

Thinking about it, it was laughable. I should have been the one to run away. But Alejandro fled first.

Come to think of it, Alejandro used to run away a lot even on the battlefield. Of course, back then, he would come when called, even if sulking, but not anymore.

Nerea, who had been intently watching until the retreating figure disappeared, pressed firmly near her heart. The sunken pain ached.

I should get used to that sight.

Because on the day he really leaves, I might not be able to look at all.

Nerea held the retreating figure that disappeared beyond the corner of the hut in her eyes for a long time.

And after that, Nerea truly began to draw lines with Alejandro, little by little.

But even then, if Alejandro showed even the slightest sign of feeling hurt, she would become frightened. What if Alejandro suddenly leaves forever?

Knowing she had to let him go, yet not wanting to send back the seed she had left behind, like a coward.

It was on a day when she found her own duplicity amusing.

“Why don’t you take out the bowl for me?”

“What…?”

It was when they were about to have a late lunch. Nerea turned around at the gruff voice.

Alejandro’s eyes were stretched fiercely. Perplexed, Nerea only blinked.

“I asked why you don’t take out the bowl for me. You even take them out for Heather yourself.”

“Well, that’s…”

Because you’re taller than me?

She couldn’t even speak properly out of bewilderment. She had only taken out the bowl because Heather, being short, was struggling to reach the shelf.

Johnny couldn’t close his mouth, and Heather covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her laughter.

But even in this situation, Alejandro was serious. Then his eyes narrowed.

“You did it yesterday too. I brought you cocoa with cinnamon, but you only gave cookies to Heather.”

“You don’t really like cinnamon.”

“Then why do you only offer alcohol to Johnny?”

“You can’t handle alcohol, right? You said last time was your first time drinking.”

The more calmly Nerea answered, the more Alejandro’s eyes filled with hurt.

His lips, which seemed to have a lot to say, mumbled as he looked at Nerea.

“…And about bathing assistance…”

“No. Please, just…”

Johnny, who had been watching with great interest, sighed at Alejandro’s last words and went outside. Heather, who had been holding back her laughter, followed him.

Nerea shrugged.

He didn’t feel hurt when I drew lines to make him feel neglected. But he burst out over a bowl.

“Alright. Have you said everything that’s upsetting you?”

“Not yet. I haven’t mentioned how you’ve been drawing lines with me in various ways lately.”

So you noticed.

Well. There’s no way he wouldn’t have.

Nerea spoke indirectly.

“Alejandro, aren’t you… busy? Johnny brings a lot of letters every day.”

“I’m not busy at all.”

That can’t be. The letters Johnny brought almost every day were all in luxurious envelopes with elaborate seals. Nerea pretended not to know and said something else.

“I heard there’s a festival in the capital, shouldn’t you be there? Isn’t this the busiest time for a guild master?”

“Is my presence uncomfortable for you?”

“That’s not it…”

Nerea was about to wave her hand at the direct question. She would have done so if Alejandro hadn’t been biting his lip.

As the color of his red lips deepened, and anxiety seeped out abundantly, Nerea’s strength drained completely.

“If that’s not it, please tell me.”

“…”

“I thought it was fine even when I received alcohol from you, no, even just a few days ago when we were talking about gifts.”

“…”

“But if you suddenly act like this…”

“Why did you come here?”

Was it the alcohol from lunch finally kicking in? Her mouth moved on its own.

“If you say you came because you missed me, well, I’ll answer that I missed you very much too.”

At the calm voice, Alejandro’s Adam’s apple moved slowly. But Nerea, not seeing that raw emotion, continued speaking slowly.

“But if you have something you want from me, I’m sorry, but I can’t give it to you.”

Remembering Alejandro’s voice telling her to act like a loser, Nerea smiled faintly.

It wasn’t about acting like a loser. It was just that she was nothing but a loser.

“You saw it too. What kind of result occurred.”

Her throat felt scratchy, so Nerea grabbed the wine glass. The condensation-covered drink had completely cooled. Clink-. Alejandro didn’t smile, but Nerea toasted in front of him.

This was the last time she would speak diminishingly in front of his gaze that looked up at her endlessly.

Blaming the dream, blaming the alcohol. And finally, blaming herself for not overcoming it, Nerea laughed self-deprecatingly.

“The Baron became lame.”

“…”

“You couldn’t call a doctor even when you were lying sick.”

“…”

“And I, I won’t be able to wield a sword anymore.”

Unknowingly, her fingertips curled. Placing the wine glass she almost dropped onto the table, Nerea muttered.

“All of that.”

“…”

“Because of me…”

Bang-. As soon as she finished speaking, Nerea returned to her room as if fleeing. The sound of the door closing echoed. Only after the echo faded did Nerea sit leaning against the door, looking at the wardrobe. In the darkness pouring through the window, the moonlight was exceptionally bright today.

In the brilliantly clear light, Nerea slowly blinked.

The wardrobe covered by newspapers as if sealed. And her sword buried among those clothes. Herself, self-imprisoned.

It felt as if a sharp sound was piercing into her ears. Nerea reflexively covered her ears.

Everything before her eyes seemed to blur hazily. Dizzying laughter and tinkling voices, pitying gazes all mixed together, tormenting Nerea.

Just like.

The first victory banquet where she had broken down.

* * *

“Die and come back. For Brianna’s sake, who has lived oppressed because of you.”

Helen’s curse didn’t work. Nerea survived.

Terribly survived and eventually killed King Gauwe, closing the door on the Hundred Years’ War. And the moment she saw the only retainer who came looking for her in Gauwe Castle, she vowed.

“…I will make you my eternal retainer.”