Laila’s eyes widened as if they were about to pop out. Seeing the blazing flames rise, a terrible memory she had completely forgotten suddenly surfaced.
Like a rotten hand suddenly appearing from beneath the dark water surface to grab her ankle, that memory tried to grasp Laila and drag her down, down.
“No!”
Laila stretched out her arm to try to grab Lilith who was running out. It was the moment she realized she could neither catch her nor make her voice heard by Lilith.
The door burst open and a tall man ran into the house. His hair was completely disheveled, and his face and clothes were covered in soot. The ashes stuck in his hair scattered here and there with some embers still glowing.
— You!
Lilith cried out as if screaming and suddenly embraced the man’s shoulders. The man stared down at her blankly with his disheveled brown eyes, then carefully stretched out his arms to hug her back.
— I thought you were dead! I thought the villagers had burned you, and I…
Lilith sobbed softly. It was a terrified voice, and a sob so relieved that she seemed about to lose her breath at any moment.
At that moment, Badin, who had been watching the scene, said,
“It’s alright.”
At the same time, the man said,
— It’s alright.
“To live with you…”
— To live with you…
“I ran away.”
— I ran away.
Laila’s hesitating feet slipped. She fell on her bottom with a loud thud, but no one looked at her.
Laila saw Lilith endlessly shedding tears while cupping the man’s cheeks. And she saw the man, no.
She saw Badin hesitantly kissing her.
“This can’t be…”
As Laila whispered, her vision blurred as if rippling. The feeling of falling into a bottomless abyss was familiar. The memories were changing. More precisely, the perspective within the memories.
Lilith lived with the man in that house. Sometimes she feared that the villagers might break into her house and take the man away, but such a thing never happened.
The man told Lilith it would be better not to go to the village.
For Lilith, who had no desire whatsoever to mingle with the villagers who disliked and shunned her, people who pointed fingers at her for being a woman living alone in a remote place, it wasn’t a difficult request.
They could find what they needed in the surroundings. The two would climb the mountain early in the morning or late at night to avoid the villagers’ eyes, picking fresh fruits, herbs, and mushrooms.
Occasionally, the man would catch animals in ingenious ways that Lilith could never understand. It was a life lacking nothing.
It was a fulfilling time.
Laila’s eyes, watching the rapidly changing lives of the two, grew hot. Suddenly touching her cheek, she just then realized she had been crying. Her clothes were a mess, stained with tears.
However, Badin stood beside her as she sat down, watching it impassively. Despite it being his own memory, he was expressionless as if watching a third party.
“So you loved Lilith.”
Laila said, looking up at Badin. Her voice came out with difficulty, as if being wrung out.
“It wasn’t Lilith who called you out.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“You came here, transforming into the appearance of the dead man. You deceived her.”
“That’s right.”
Badin’s eyes blinked indifferently as he answered briefly. His deep red eyes, like ripe pomegranates, seemed to hold no emotion.
“How…”
Laila sighed and sobbed as she staggered to her feet.
“Why did you love her?”
Badin finally turned to look at Laila. Surprisingly, a faint smile appeared on his lips. It was so faint and traceless, and therefore, a more human smile.
“How was it for you?”
When Laila blinked as if to ask what he meant, Badin said,
“Did you have a reason for falling in love with the descendant of Hyanmorik?”
Laila’s lips trembled as she furrowed her brow.
The reason for falling in love with Eustar. Laila pondered Badin’s words.
There was no such thing. The fact that she didn’t want to disobey his words, that she wanted to comply with whatever he demanded from the first time they met, was because of the witch’s blood flowing in her veins.
She was instinctively drawn to him, who was close to the devil. Like children following their older siblings, it was a simple instinct, neither out of necessity nor calculation.
But when did that feeling change into love?
When she became able to read emotions from his expressions, notice when the ornaments decorating his hair changed, find his figure from afar, and distinguish only his voice accurately among numerous noises.
When was that? She couldn’t tell. Was there a reason?
There wasn’t. No reason at all. Eustar had simply seeped gently into Laila’s life. She fell in love while watching him. It was probably the same for Eustar.
Badin seemed to see through all of Laila’s thoughts. He stared at her intently and said,
“Just as there was no trigger or reason for you to fall in love with the descendant of Hyanmorik, it was the same for me.”
“You watched her? For that long?”
“Yes. This place was originally my domain. But that’s not time on a scale humans can grasp. It’s an ancient matter. So ancient that even demons might forget. I watched her set foot here, build a house with her own hands, be shunned by people, dance barefoot on the grass under the sunlight, and sob. Can you imagine a boring and long, monotonous life without any changes? When something brilliantly colorful suddenly intervenes in that life one day, could you take your eyes off it?”
Even as Badin spoke, the scene Laila was watching continued to change. Lilith and the man continued to live in that house. No problems arose.
The fact that they couldn’t have children was one concern, but as she grew older, Lilith gave up her expectations for a child.
She turned thirty, then forty… Spring came and winter passed. Rain fell and snow piled up, then melted again.
“Even I had forgotten that she was uniquely intelligent.”
At Badin’s words, Laila found herself staring intently at Lilith before her.
For a moment, her gaze was so direct that Laila thought she might be looking at her. But Laila soon realized that Lilith was looking not at her, but at the mirror behind her.
In that mirror, both Lilith, who had aged with fine wrinkles but was still beautiful, and her husband were reflected simultaneously.
Lilith stared at her husband, who had a wooden nail in his mouth as he was fixing the tilted leg of the table, then smiled gently.
— How is it that you never change?
No. Laila screamed internally. Knowing that Lilith wouldn’t hear her even if she shouted at the top of her lungs, she unconsciously covered her mouth with both hands.
— What do you mean?
— I mean you. Have you looked in a mirror?
— No, I haven’t.
Lilith smiled bitterly. As if she had expected that.
— Do you want to take a look now?
— Let me finish fixing the table first, dear. You said it keeps wobbling.
— No, it’s okay. That can be fixed later. Come here and look in the mirror.
The man, Badin in the memory, stood up. He looked perplexed, but Laila knew it was an act.
As he approached the mirror with reluctant steps, his face appeared side by side with Lilith’s. Now their faces no longer looked similar in age. They looked more like an aunt and nephew, or a young mother and her early matured son.
— It doesn’t look any different to me.
The man said. Lilith laughed quietly in response.
— Really? That’s how it looks to your eyes?
— Yes. To my eyes, it does. You’re still pretty and beautiful. Nothing has changed.
— I see. I guess I married well.
The man’s lips touched Lilith’s forehead. At that moment, Laila could see Lilith’s lower eyelids trembling, unable to contain her intense emotions.
The next moment, Laila’s vision turned black. She couldn’t see anything, as if a blackout curtain had been drawn. As Laila looked around in confusion, a cold hand touched her shoulder. It was Badin’s.
“Don’t worry.”
“What’s happening?”
“It’s the last part.”
The last part? Of what?
But Laila didn’t need to voice that question. Soon, her darkened vision cleared and another scene appeared. It was night, and inside the house, only a single candle, nearly burnt out, was flickering dimly.
“I was planning to get new candles when the sun rose.”
Badin said.
“By crossing the mountain, to a place where humans who don’t know her and me are… Lilith liked to keep a candle lit even when sleeping.”
A bitter regret could be felt in his voice.
At that moment, Lilith, who had been lying next to the man, could be seen carefully raising her body. She gazed down at her sleeping husband’s face with closed eyes and not making a sound, then suddenly started to unbutton and take off her clothes.
“Ah!”
Laila cried out softly in surprise. But Lilith didn’t stop. She took off her cheap and worn slip, the nightgown he had gotten her a few years ago, and even the drawers underneath, becoming completely naked.
What surprised Laila wasn’t the fact that Lilith had taken off her clothes. Under the dim light, her skin was revealed to be covered in dark red letters and ominous patterns.
As if she had written them one by one with her own hand, the letters on the left were somewhat clumsy and not well-aligned. However, the letters on the right were flawless, as if branded with a hot iron.
“She was left-handed, you see.”
Badin muttered in a voice tinged with bitterness.
Lilith stood beside the man, tilting her head slightly, then climbed onto his body. The old bed shook and made a creaking sound.
The man’s eyes flew open. Lilith gently lowered her upper body over him and whispered.
— Make a promise with me, dear.
Laila unconsciously turned to look at Badin.
He was still watching the scene, the memory he once experienced, with eyes devoid of any emotion. He didn’t seem to have any desire to intervene, but he didn’t look pleased either.
— Lilith? What are you…
Lilith said,
— You deceived me, so pay the price. Make a promise with me.
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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