“…….”

“…….”

It was the first time I had directly witnessed an affair. And it was an affair between my father and a friend’s mother.

“Ro, Roger.”

“…….”

Mrs. Bakus called Roger’s name. Roger’s weakened hand let go of mine and fell down.

Along with Roger’s pale face, my legs trembled as well.

More than feeling betrayed, I was terrified by my father’s actions that were beyond imagination. That person was no longer my father.

He was a demon wearing my father’s mask.

“Ki, kids. Don’t misunderstand, just listen. The lady and I just fell over……. Yes, we fell! That’s when you two came in, so this is…….”

“…….”

“…….”

At my father’s excuses, Roger glared at him fiercely.

“Roger, Lize. You believe us, don’t you? We absolutely aren’t what you’re thinking……!”

“Shut up!”

Roger’s voice turned cold at the inappropriate words. My father shifted his gaze to me.

“Lize, Roger seems agitated. You’re a wise child, so you understand it’s a misunderstanding, right? So explain to Roger…….”

“We heard your voices from outside. We heard everything, and that’s why we came to check inside.”

A heavy silence settled in this room. As I collapsed in place, weighed down, Mrs. Bakus, who hadn’t been moving, came down from under the bed.

“Ki, kids.”

She staggered as if her strength had left her body too. When the lady stumbled once, Roger, who hadn’t been moving, opened his eyes wide.

Fortunately, the lady didn’t fall. Instead, her gaze met Roger’s.

“Ugh…….”

Roger, who had been standing firm until the end, crumbled and collapsed. A suppressed groan barely escaped from Roger’s sobbing mouth. From his throat to between his teeth, that sound that passed through with difficulty was miserable and wretched.

“Ugh. Uwaah…….”

Roger didn’t cry out loud. Not knowing what was holding him back, Roger was enduring it.

His suffering combined with mine and doubled. My vision blurred as I bit my lip. I wanted to spit out the things that were making it difficult, but I couldn’t, and my insides felt completely blocked.

“Don’t, don’t cry……. You’re misunderstanding. Re, really! I don’t know what you heard, but I, I’ll explain everything. So calm down a little……okay?”

Father bent his knees and took my hand. His gaze filled with desperation cruelly continued to follow my gaze.

When I avoided it, he came closer, and when I closed my eyes, he pleaded while sobbing. Father said to please open my eyes and listen to his story.

When I covered my ears, Father strongly grabbed my cheeks with both hands. My face turned to Father without resistance.

“It’s not true! It’s not true, Lize! Why, why won’t you listen? Huh?”

“……I don’t want to, I don’t want to!”

Father’s face contorted. He who had been avoiding reality looked for a place to escape and rolled his eyes fiercely.

“……Could it be that Isabel planned this too? Right? Isabel sent you two here, didn’t she? Otherwise, why would you be here! I don’t know what you heard from Isabel, but this is all a misunderstanding! A misunderstanding!”

“…….”

“You know too, right, Lize? That she resents me. She’s planning this to take away not only the Marsen family but even custody! So please say something……. No, could it be that you’re on her side too, Lize? You knew everything and needed a witness, so you brought Roger along?”

When I just kept crying, Father’s voice grew louder.

“This is all your and Isabel’s, that woman’s plan! Damn it! Roger, you too Lize. You were fooled by this child! So……!”

Please, someone save me.

Covering my ears and lying face down on the floor, I looked at Roger.

Father’s voice buzzed like a vibration. Unable to endure any longer, Father removed his hands from my face and grabbed Roger’s cheeks, who was in a daze.

Mrs. Bakus seemed to be trying to stop Father by pulling on his clothes. Roger didn’t give any answer either.

His eyes were lifeless. Occasionally when he regained his senses, Roger glanced at me, but I couldn’t save him either.

I didn’t have the strength to deny Father’s words either. I should say it’s not true, but the words that came up to my lips crumbled before I could open my mouth.

“……Damn it! Answer me! I said answer!”

When his words didn’t get through, Father roughly let go of Roger’s face. After heaving a deep sigh, Father listened to my crying voice and Roger’s groans, then kicked an object on the floor. When that still didn’t relieve his anger, Father’s gaze fixed on me.

“……!”

Not wanting to meet even that gaze, I put my head to the floor. I squeezed my eyes shut and wrapped my hands around my head.

I felt Father’s toes above my head.

“St, stop! Count!”

“Let go, madam! If they won’t listen, I’ll make them listen by force!”

“Count! Please……!”

As Father tried to forcibly lift me up, Mrs. Bakus who was nearby sobbed and tried to stop his actions. While they were struggling for a while, I should have run away.

I could manage, but what about Roger? I couldn’t leave Roger alone here. I quickly got up to grab Roger’s wrist, but before I could take a single step, I was caught by Father’s hand.

“Where do you think you’re going!”

“Count!”

Mrs. Bakus was startled as Father raised his hand. I’m going to get hit!

“Lize!”

“……Isabel?”

“Isabel…….”

Isabel, whom Father had been talking about, appeared.

“…….”

Why is Isabel here?

She must have run all the way here, as she was drenched in sweat and her hair was a mess. Beside her was Bitty, who had turned pale.

“I, Isabel.”

Father and Mrs. Bakus were also flustered by Isabel’s appearance. Isabel assessed the situation in a few seconds and then struck down Father’s hand that was holding me.

“Stop it! Can’t you resolve things without using violence?”

“……Hah. Was it really your doing? Did you deliberately send Lize here? Isabel.”

Father let out a bitter laugh.

“N, no! It, it’s my fault! I, I asked Miss Lize to deliver a letter to Mrs. Bakus instead. The madam and Miss Lize are completely innocent!”

Bitty spoke clearly despite trembling.

“And you expect me to believe that……!”

“You don’t have to believe it.”

Isabel cut off Father’s words and embraced me.

Her hand touched my shoulder as if to soothe my heart. Feeling relieved by just one touch, I cried out loud in Isabel’s arms, forgetting my pride. I tightly grasped the hem of her dress, leaving tear stains on Isabel’s clothes.

“You don’t have to believe it. But that doesn’t change what you two have done.”

“Isabel!”

“Surely you’re not going to say that your affair was also something I made up? Tell me, Silly. I’ve known about it all along.”

Even through my crying, Isabel’s voice was clearly audible.

“So don’t try to deceive me, Silly.”

“…….”

Instead of asking Father, Isabel confessed the truth to her longtime friend, Mrs. Bakus.

“……I’m, I’m sorry. Isabel.”

Mrs. Bakus admitted to the affair. At the same time, someone abruptly stood up and rushed out.

“Roger!”

Mrs. Bakus called out to Roger. Startled from crying, I raised my head and looked at the spot where Roger had left.

“Silly, stop.”

“Bu, but Roger…….”

“Do you have the right to chase after Roger?”

Mrs. Bakus hesitated.

Isabel, seemingly not wanting to stay here any longer, pulled my shoulder towards the outside.

“Count, there’s no need to delay the divorce any longer, is there? I’ll submit the signed divorce papers to the agency immediately to proceed quickly.”

“…….”

“And Silly. I hope today is the last time I see you.”

With those final words, Isabel pulled my shoulder towards the door. As my crying still wouldn’t stop, she silently patted my shoulder with her hand.

“I, Isabel. You’ll regret this!”

“…….”

“I want the divorce too! But custody? I can’t give that up! How much effort have I put into raising those children! Those kids ate fine cuisine and grew up abundantly because of me!”

“…….”

“How much, how much I’ve done for the children! And now they leave me like this? That doesn’t make sense! It doesn’t! Just as I’ve done so much for the children, they should study and marry for me to repay this debt!”

Isabel didn’t answer and slammed the door shut.

After sending Bitty away, Isabel continued to stroke my back. Even while crying, I found it strange.

How could she remain so detached in this situation? Even if she had expected her husband’s affair with a close friend, how could she so calmly comfort an illegitimate child who wasn’t her own flesh and blood?

“Bitty. Roger should be nearby, so go look for him. When you find him, bring him back. It would be best if he comes to the mansion with us first.”

“Yes, madam.”

Her detachment made my heart ache even more.

“……Mother.”

“Keep crying. Cry it out.”

At Isabel’s words, I buried myself deeper in her embrace.

“Mother……. Mother.”

“Yes, speak.”

“I, I hate Father, and I hate Mrs. Bakus……and I’ve come to hate myself so much…….”

“…….”

“……I was born that way too, wasn’t I? Not between Father and Mother……. A child born between Father and another woman. So I made Mother and my siblings all suffer.”

I hate my birth because I can’t fathom that pain.

“I, I will be in agony for the rest of my life. Because I hate myself so much.”

“……Yes. How could you shake it off, Lize.”

“Mother…….”

“Resent. Hate.”

Isabel met my gaze and continued speaking.

“But……you must try to change those feelings. Be harsh on yourself. It’s good to overcome it and become an excellent person. It’s good to become a hero. It’s good to do well so that you don’t pass on the pain you felt to your own people. Any of these is fine. Instead, you make yourself so that you’re no longer ashamed of who you are, Lize.”

“……Yes. *sob* Yes.”

I nodded over and over at Isabel, Mother’s words. I didn’t want to miss a single thing she said.

Her comfort made me feel like I could breathe again. Just as my heart was gradually calming down.

“Madam!”

We heard the voice of Bitty, who had gone to look for Roger.

“It’s terrible, madam! Young master, young master has collapsed!”

I had forgotten.

Roger is alone right now.