‘What should I say to Isabel?’

Throughout the meal, I kept thinking of excuses.

But Isabel didn’t come looking for me even after the meal ended. Even though I sat in the sofa entrance like a prisoner awaiting sentencing, Isabel didn’t call for me.

Having reached the end of my patience, I sent Bitty to find out what she was doing in her room. Surprisingly, Isabel had gone to bed early and fallen asleep, she said.

I wasn’t sure if that was fortunate or unfortunate.

It was time for me to sleep too. After calming my nerves and finishing my preparations for bed, I blew out the candle.

As I was about to close my eyes, I heard approaching footsteps. I felt relieved, then like I’d been hit on the back of the head. It was impossible for me to face Isabel now when I wasn’t mentally prepared.

So I pretended to be asleep.

“……”

I heard the sound of the door opening. I sensed someone entering the room. I thought it wasn’t like Isabel to silently stare at me intently.

“Hey, Lize. Are you asleep?”

“I’m not.”

The tension suddenly drained away. It was Roger.

When I opened my eyes, Roger’s wet hair was dripping, as if he’d just washed.

Where was his wife, and why had he come to see me alone at this hour? I sat up, lit a light, and examined Roger as he sat in the chair.

“Did something happen?”

When I asked, Roger lifted his head and stared at me intently.

“Didn’t anything happen to you?”

“……You must be cold. Let’s dry your hair first.”

Roger had come because he was worried about me.

Realizing this, I avoided speaking and grabbed a dry towel from the desk. I went over to Roger and rubbed his head with the towel. Roger kept his head down, then coughed a few times.

“You should have dried off before coming.”

“The lady isn’t too angry, is she?”

Roger’s voice was very hoarse, as if he was just as worried as I was.

“I don’t know. If I’m lucky, we might be able to play chess in secret, but if I’m unlucky, I might be kicked out entirely.”

“Should I try talking to the lady?”

“……?”

Roger was sincere.

Is it because he doesn’t know Isabel’s personality yet? He’s fearless.

When Isabel was angry, she didn’t resort to violence or raise her voice. She cut off contact between me and the things I held dear.

If that wasn’t possible, she made me do things I found shameful and embarrassing.

That’s why it was even more frightening. An angry Isabel was like the calm before a storm – you never knew what she might destroy.

“Don’t even think about it. If you get involved, it’ll make things harder for me too.”

“But Lady Marsen is lenient towards me.”

“That’s because she wants to betroth us. But things aren’t good between my mother and Lady Bakus right now. Our engagement might be called off as if it never happened in a day or two. If you step in too, you’ll only fall out of favor with my mother.”

Roger swallowed his words at my honest statement.

For some reason, Roger seemed much more anxious and shaky than I was.

Perhaps because of that, my mood, which had been gloomy until just now, had somehow lifted. My worries weren’t completely gone, but they had eased considerably.

I resumed moving my hands and rubbed Roger’s head vigorously.

“Ow! That hurts!”

“Don’t worry. It’ll work out somehow.”

“How can I not worry? You might not be able to play chess. You won’t be able to meet Baron Kito, our engagement might be broken off, you won’t be able to practice violin, and we might never see each other again……”

Roger’s voice grew softer and softer, as if just thinking about it was depressing.

“Still, don’t worry. I’ll find a way to play chess, meet Baron Kito, sneak out to practice violin, and come see you.”

“……”

“Why are you staring at me?”

“……What about the engagement?”

That engagement again. Roger, do you really like me?

No matter how much he likes me, would this child want to make such an important promise that will determine his future from childhood? He didn’t answer, but sensing my gaze on him, he slowly raised his head.

His purple eyes met my gaze above and wavered as if shaken.

“No. It’s just that if the engagement is broken off, things will get troublesome…… You don’t know, but there are quite a few families aiming for me, the heir to the Bakus family. Whenever I meet a girl around my age, the topic of engagement always comes up. Those girls also tend to show interest in me. It’s rather uncomfortable…… If that’s the case, it’s much better to be engaged to you, who’s old-fashioned but doesn’t hold grudges.”

“I hold plenty of grudges though.”

“Hey.”

Roger slightly furrowed his brow.

“I tend to harbor negative emotions for a long time. Like you said, I’m old-fashioned and stubborn. It would be better for you to find someone who suits you better than me.”

“That’s not what I meant……”

“This is a chance to find a good match, Roger. Someone who doesn’t hold grudges and isn’t old-fashioned. Someone who’s kind to everyone and can embrace your sensitivity.”

I threw the towel that was on Roger’s head onto the desk. I gestured for Roger to return to his room now that his hair seemed dry. But Roger’s body remained motionless, stubbornly sitting in the chair.

“……I’m sorry if you’re angry.”

“Huh? I’m not angry.”

It was true.

To be honest, I was a little angry, but only to that extent. Also, I didn’t want to be engaged to Roger from the start. To be precise, I didn’t want to decide on an engagement with anyone.

There was no guarantee that the predicted future would change, so it wasn’t the time to be leisurely talking about engagements or marriages.

I didn’t want to be fixed in the ambiguous position of an illegitimate child. I also didn’t want to miss out on the many opportunities in front of me because of marriage.

“Roger. You should go to your room and sleep……”

“Lize, I want to be engaged to you because I like you.”

He swallowed my words.

“Huh?”

“It’s not that I like you a lot. But it’s not like I like you faintly either. Should I say I like you moderately? So…… I want to sleep here instead of going to my room.”

What’s he suddenly saying?

“Roger, are you joking with me?”

“I’m not joking.”

“Go to your room, now.”

“No. If today is going to be my last day with you, I want to talk with you all night.”

“I told you it’s not the last day?”

“How can you be so sure?”

The stubborn and old-fashioned one wasn’t me, but him. Wondering what to do, I silently pondered before glancing at Roger. With eyes sparkling like a child’s, he was waiting for my answer and approval.

“Roger. If you stay here with me all night, both my mother and Lady Bakus will be furious.”

“……”

“Then the engagement you’ve been hoping for will be completely broken off.”

“……I didn’t hope and hope for it…… I did hope for it.”

When I glared at him once, Roger immediately changed his words.

“I’ll talk to my mother well tomorrow, so don’t worry and go back to your room. The engagement might not even be broken off.”

As I pulled Roger’s wrist, he rose from his seat weakly. Though his face was still anxious, Roger reluctantly left the room. His footsteps were so heavy.

Before closing the door, I smiled brightly on purpose to cheer up the gloomy Roger.

“I’ll really talk to her well. You know I’m good with words.”

“You are?”

Roger’s innocent question almost wiped the smile off my face.

“Yes, it’s one of my 1000 great qualities that you don’t know about. So hurry back to your room. The lady might come looking for you.”

When I pushed his back, Roger headed to his room. I thought he was leaving well, but after a few steps, he stopped and turned his head.

“Lize.”

“What now.”

I crossed my arms. What would he say this time?

“Sleep well.”

“……”

I couldn’t help but smile at the unexpected greeting. Instead of replying, I waved at him, and after confirming he had entered his room, I closed the door.

“It’s just a shame you’re leaving so early, my lady.”

Father said as he watched Lady Bakus returning to town. It was in front of the entrance.

Before breakfast, the lady and Roger had packed their luggage and loaded it into the carriage. All preparations were complete, and now they just needed to board the carriage.

“We can’t impose on you any longer.”

“Impose, you say.”

The lady laughed awkwardly, then shifted her gaze to Isabel. The two exchanged quiet glances.

“I’m sorry, Isabel.”

Lady Bakus took Isabel’s hand first and repeated her words.

“But please call me anytime. I’m on Isabel’s side. And…… I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry.”

Isabel said it was fine in a dry tone, without needing to say much. Watching their conversation, I wondered if Isabel and Lady Bakus could maintain their previously smooth relationship in the future.

Meanwhile, the siblings and Roger also exchanged goodbyes. The siblings seemed to have grown fond of Roger, who they had become close with, and promised to meet again later. Roger also hugged each of the siblings in turn as a sign of regret.

Lastly, when Roger and I hugged, he held me tighter than when he hugged the other siblings.

“Hey, Roger. That’s enough.”

Roger wouldn’t let me go for a long time. When I started to feel the siblings’ lewd gazes from behind, Roger finally released his arms. He looked at me with a bold face.

“Lize, come practice violin this week.”

“Yes, I’ll definitely come.”

I nodded at Lady Bakus’s words. Roger’s stiff shoulders relaxed a little.

“Well then, take care, children.”

Lady Bakus picked up her bag and stepped outside the entrance. The coachman’s movements quickened in the weather that looked like it might rain.

“Have a safe trip.”

Isabel finally spoke first. Though the carriage door had been closed for a while.

The carriage carrying Roger and Lady Bakus soon passed through the main gate and went down the hill.

“Now I should go to work too. I’ll be back late today. Don’t wait up and go to bed first.”

Father returned to his study. The siblings who needed to prepare for school and the twins who wanted to lie down more also headed to their rooms.

“……”

“……”

Only Isabel and I remained.

Unlike me, who was tense, Isabel simply turned her back. It seemed another day would pass like this. How long would I have to wait on tenterhooks for Isabel to speak up? Should I speak first instead?

I struggled with indecision.

While I was resolving my inner conflict, Father had gone to the company and the siblings to school, leaving the mansion quiet. The twins were unable to leave their room due to a long-awaited visit from the tutor.

Sitting at my desk, I looked at the flower bracelet on my wrist. Roger had made it for me. Just then, my door opened. Even without raising my head, I knew who had come.

“Lize.”

Isabel. With a face that I couldn’t tell if she was angry or holding back, she opened her mouth.

“Let’s talk.”

“Yes.”

Isabel moved as if telling me to come to her room. Having calmed down overnight, I followed behind her.