Young Ivy had only seen it once.

The sight of the stargazer crying.

It was a summer night. In the deep dawn when everyone was asleep, Ivy woke up for a trivial reason.

It was just too hot that day. So, she went to the window to open it, and there she heard a faint moan.

Startled by the strange sound, Ivy secretly approached the window, holding her breath, and looked outside.

On the windowsill of the opposite room, she saw the stargazer standing.

Unaware that Ivy had awakened, he clung to the window frame, sobbing silently.

Gazing up at the clear night sky, he covered his mouth with his hands and cried endlessly, as if something terribly sad had happened.

Seeing that, Ivy was surprised and hurried back to her bed. Then, forgetting about the heat, she flipped the blanket over her head. It felt as if she had seen something she shouldn’t have.

“Is something hurting? What’s wrong?”

Ivy became somehow scared. Although she hadn’t witnessed anything terrible, she suddenly felt frightened.

At that time, Ivy couldn’t understand the feelings of a child seeing her suffering mother.

Ivy stayed up all night with wide-open eyes, not knowing the meaning of the English words.

But the next morning, when she met the stargazer again, he was as affectionate as usual, so Ivy pretended not to know anything and smiled. It seemed like everything would be fine.

Why does that incident come to mind now?

“When are you coming back?”

The stargazer awkwardly smiled in response to Ivy’s question.

“Don’t go.”

“Ivy.”

“Don’t go, leave me alone. If you really have to go, take me with you!”

The long-standing anxiety finally became a reality.

Ivy had sensed it for the past few days. The stargazer was planning to leave. He was preparing for it.

“Where are you going? Why are you leaving?”

The stargazer struggled to answer. If there was something difficult to answer, he would just smile faintly and remain silent. Just like now.

Ivy’s face lost its color at that smile and silence.

For the first time in her life, a pain she had never felt before overwhelmed her. The name of that pain was loss.

Ivy thought this situation was absurd.

Uncle suggested living together. I clearly said I didn’t want to, but he insisted, saying let’s do it. I let my guard down and started to hope.

But now, if he leaves, what am I supposed to do?

“Listen to me for a moment.”

As Ivy turned pale and gasped for breath, the stargazer wrapped his arms around her fragile shoulders.

“There’s something important. That’s why I must go. I’m not abandoning you.”

“But why don’t you say you’ll come back?”

Once again, the stargazer was at a loss for words.

“Are you not coming back? Where are you going?”

Anxious, Ivy asked, but the enigmatic stargazer did not offer a single clear answer.

“If you have to go, at least show me your face.”

Ivy pleaded desperately to the stargazer. But even this was a request that the stargazer couldn’t fulfill.

With each successive rejection, Ivy felt a deep despair.
Ivy was scared that he would disappear forever.

Even in this situation, Ivy knew nothing about him. Neither his face nor his name, and she still didn’t know the reason he took care of her. So, she felt endlessly lonely. Despite being certain that she was overflowing with love, there seemed to be a hole in her heart.

“I might be a bit late. So, someone else will come instead. That person will explain everything when they come. Ivy, don’t cry. Okay?”

As Ivy bit her lips and tears rolled down, the stargazer wiped away her tears and comforted her.

However, those words offered no solace to Ivy.

Someone else.

Among the countless people in the world, the only person I can open my heart to is you. But now, if he leaves and someone else comes, someone else.

“Then, at least tell me the name of the person.”

If he doesn’t come back, and I have to find him, I will ask the name of every person I meet.

Ivy couldn’t bring herself to say these words. She had to quickly close her mouth to swallow her sob.

But the stargazer understood the unspoken words from Ivy. So, he sighed lightly in response.

Unable to endure any longer, Ivy burst into tears.

“Please don’t go, stay by my side.”

With a feeling of desperation, Ivy clung to the stargazer as if standing on the edge of a cliff.

The stargazer gently embraced Ivy. But his kindness turned out to be poison.

If he’s going to leave after the girl falls asleep from crying, it’s better to act cruelly.

He continued to care for Ivy kindly until the end, then vanished like an illusion.

As if to say he didn’t want to be the bad person who did the worst thing in the world, he teased and left the child.

So, the next day when Ivy opened her eyes, she couldn’t believe his absence and cried for several more days.

If that’s the case, you shouldn’t have told me from the beginning.

Kindness, warmth, and loveliness, you shouldn’t have told me anything. If I hadn’t learned that, I wouldn’t have known the coldness of an empty place.

To the girl who had always been alone, he taught the sadness of being alone and disappeared.