“Ed. I’m sorry. I thought wrong… and so I made things too difficult for us.”

Louisa’s voice sank as if reciting a confession.

Edward, with that piercing his heart, asked sharply.

“What did you think wrong?”

“The thought that you and I could love like other ordinary people.”

At that, Edward burst out shouting.

“Why? Why can’t we? Do you know how my day was? I’m already dying from all the work piling up, and my mind is just scattered so I can’t get anything done. So the work keeps piling up even more, but I still had to leave work early to make time for you like this! I feel like I’m going crazy thinking about tomorrow. And now, what?”

“Yes, I know. You’re struggling and so am I. That’s why I’m saying this. Let’s just put each other at ease now.”

Edward was at a loss for words.

“Let’s end our unhappiness here, Ed.”

It was an all too clear conclusion.

Certainly, as Louisa said, it had been difficult. But he absolutely could not accept that the end would be separation.

“…Let’s take some time to think.”

Edward decided to postpone the conclusion for now.

He needed to talk with her to resolve the situation, but he wasn’t in a state to do so right now. Above all, he couldn’t understand his wife.

Louisa stared at him blankly before speaking.

“Alright. I understand.”

“You seem to be under a lot of stress too, so why don’t you go on a short trip somewhere?”

“A trip? No, it’s fine.”

“No. I heard from Gilford last time that the autumn leaves in Quenel are so beautiful. You could go for the weekend, that should be enough time.”

Edward harbored a small hope that if she could have even this brief respite, if Louisa’s mood improved, perhaps the situation would get a little better.

Of course, he knew well enough himself that this was a vain thought.

But this was all he could do.

“A trip alone… Alright. Let’s do that.”

Louisa said calmly.

It felt as if his heart was turning cold. Her empty gaze, her lifeless face, made it seem as if his wife would abandon him and scatter like mist at any moment.

Edward dug his nails into his innocent palm.

* * *

The sky of the capital, lined with factories, was always hazily overcast.

Lindbrumm Station was bustling with people as always. Through the crowds, the sound of the heavy train’s wheels could be heard approaching from far down the platform.

Rachel, following behind Louisa, exclaimed excitedly.

“Ma’am, I think the train is coming!”

Paul Johnson, who had come to see them off, frowned at her behavior, but when Louisa smiled and shook her head, he cleared his throat and smoothed his brow.

They hurried their steps. They still had a bit further to walk to reach the first-class carriage.

The sound that had been gradually approaching was now right beside them.

Screech—

The train made a hissing sound as it applied its brakes.

Clunk. With a loud noise, the train doors opened. Station attendants walked around shouting.

Amidst that commotion, Rachel hurriedly boarded the first-class carriage first.

Following her, Louisa folded her parasol and boarded the train.

“Have a safe trip.”

“Thank you. I’ll greet you again when I return.”

Louisa waved goodbye to him and boarded the train.

Rachel, who had found their reserved seats, waved to her.

“Oh my! The train is really spacious!”

“It’s different from how it looks from the outside, isn’t it? I was surprised at first too.”

Louisa entered the compartment, carefully holding her skirt so it wouldn’t wrinkle as she sat down.

Rachel kept looking around curiously. At Louisa’s words to put away the luggage and sit down, she exclaimed “Oh right!” and quickly put the luggage up.

Seated, Rachel put both hands on the window and said without taking her eyes off the outside:

“With such a wide window, we’ll really be able to see the scenery to our heart’s content as we go.”

Louisa hid a bitter smile as she watched her chattering away.

On the way to the autumn leaf trip to Quenel that Edward had mentioned.

In front of her sat a young maid instead of a husband bored with train travel.

Louisa found it both sad and relieving.

Edward, who finally made time to talk at the last moment, even struggled to spare that brief time.

She understood. He was a very busy man for whom every minute and second was precious.

What she needed was simply a husband who would love her wholeheartedly, but what he wanted to be was a businessman who atoned through success.

So it must have been hard for him too. The fatigue felt from his back was not a lie. Her husband was clearly exhausted.

But the same was true for her. If she endured any more, she felt there would come a moment when she’d want to give up everything.

That’s why she decided.

To stop expecting anymore. That it was time to let go.

She held back the tears that threatened to spill from the unbearable ache in a corner of her heart.

Her choice was right.

He didn’t understand her until the very end. So this must be the right path.

Perhaps they had finally reached the starting line where they could both become a little happier.

A faint hope still. But just finding a new path gave her strength for now.

Louisa took in the sight of small birds flying in dots across the sky outside the window.

* * *

It takes half a day by train to Quenel.

Rachel, who had been chattering excitedly for quite some time, quieted down after less than an hour, seeming tired.

At first, she ate the snacks they had brought while sharing various imaginings—The red maple trees will line the entire roadside, right? Like red waves in the wind!

—Later, she quietly took out her knitting and started knitting a muffler.

Unable to overcome the boredom, she fell asleep, and Louisa woke her upon hearing the attendant’s arrival announcement.

Hearing her voice, Rachel jumped up startled and, half-asleep, took down the bags they had put in the luggage rack.

When they got off the train, the first things to greet them were the darkened evening sky and the cool air that refreshingly dampened their cheeks.

Louisa took in a handful of the air that smelled of earth.

‘A nostalgic scent.’

She briefly recalled the memories evoked by the familiar smell.

The small house in Greenburgh. The nights returning home after finishing work with Edward. The cold night air they shared walking that long road and his scent that filled her lungs.

“Oh my, how pretty! Look at those stars, ma’am!”

Rachel, stretching her stiff body, pointed at the sky and shouted.

Her cheeks flushed red at seeing the well-maintained resort instead of the hazy dust floating in the air.

Louisa smiled faintly at that innocent smile that shone even in the dim streetlights.

A couple who had disembarked with them and families with children all headed towards their respective destinations.

Looking around at them, Rachel adjusted her luggage with an “Alright!” and said:

“Ma’am! Let’s go too!”

Looking at the young maid asking excitedly about their lodgings, instead of the rough, large hand that would hold hers, Louisa thought.

The first thing she needed to do was practice not thinking of him.

* * *

Edward sat at his desk, pen in hand, lost in a daze.

The anxiety that kept stopping his hand had now invaded his head, ensnaring him.

By now, Louisa would have left on her trip. Would she come back with her thoughts a bit settled? What if she says let’s break up as soon as she returns, having made up her mind?

The thoughts endlessly circling in his head made it truly impossible to concentrate on work at all.

He knew that no matter how much he worried now, the decision ultimately lay with Louisa.

‘What will become of us now…’

The pen nib slipped from his weakened hand, creating a large dot on the paper. Edward didn’t even notice the ink spreading as he sat lost in thought.

Jeffrey, sitting next to him watching his boss’s behavior, let out an impressed “Well, well.”

After staring at him blankly for a few seconds, Jeffrey finally committed the outrage of shoving the cigar box towards his boss’s seat.

The box slid over, knocking his pen.

“What?”

“Have a smoke and get your head on straight.”

Jeffrey nodded towards the cigar box sitting in the middle of Edward’s desk.

Finally looking down, Edward discovered the large stain under his hand.

“…Damn it.”

He immediately picked up the paper and crumpled it with both hands.

After throwing the tightly crumpled paper on the floor, Edward irritably opened the cigar box.

Roughly grabbing the one on top, he cut the end with scissors, lit it, and put it in his mouth.

He didn’t usually smoke cigars often. He only reached for them occasionally like this when under unbearable stress. The forced languor that relaxed his whole body could bring momentary peace.

But this time, even the cigar wasn’t much help. Worries quickly began to surge up again.

‘What if Louisa doesn’t come back like this?’

He shook his head needlessly and muttered as if to himself.

‘No. She’s not the kind of woman who would abandon me so rashly.’

We definitely loved each other. Definitely.

In the end, ash fell from the cigar he was holding blankly, burning a dark hole in the newly taken out paper.

“…Hah.”

Finally, irritably running his fingers through his hair, he crumpled that up and threw it away too.

Edward roughly stubbed out the cigar he was holding and stood up from his seat.

It felt strange to himself, as this had never happened in the long time since getting married.

What are you thinking now? Will she come back well-rested and recovered in body and mind from there?

For the first time, Edward wondered about his wife’s well-being while at the company.