Thus Began Your Regret - Chapter 23

Late dawn.

A man appeared in front of Emily Ernst as she was leaving the party venue.

“Miss Ernst. Come see me for a moment.”

The one who stopped her was Guilford Theodore, the husband of her elder sister Diana Theodore.

“Lord Theodore. You were here. Have you been well?”

“I was until yesterday. But today, something happened.”

He approached Emily slowly, putting on his outdoor gloves. Guilford looked down at her coldly and said,

“You couldn’t have done it without knowing. What were you thinking?”

“About what?”

“Your actions towards Lady Allen.”

Emily shrugged at his attitude of directly questioning the core issue.

There was no particular reason she couldn’t tell. She frankly shared her situation with him.

“Father said he would marry me off to a bourgeois. Someone whose name I don’t even know. Cesare Lubrain or something? An immigrant, he said.”

Guilford’s eyes twitched at her words, having been stiff until then.

For her, who had her own pride as the young lady of the Ernst family, it must have been like a bolt from the blue.

“I heard he’s in some gas business, but I’m not interested in that.”

She said while tidying the hangnail on her fingertip.

“Rather than marrying such an immigrant, isn’t it better to grab a verified domestic option with sufficient fame and fortune right in front of me? That’s why I did it.”

Guilford held his head at her words.

He understood the reason. Even a month ago, he himself might have told her to go ahead and try.

But now it was different.

“Being content with what’s given is also a good method, Emily.”

“Don’t say such nonsense.”

She flared up and shouted.

“You marry off the eldest daughter, who attracts attention in many ways, to a nobleman, and then tell me, the second daughter, to marry such a person for the family’s fortune?”

She clenched her fists and strained her neck as she spoke.

“Remember this, Lord Theodore. If I had been born before my elder sister, you would have married me.”

Guilford silently stared at her.

His marriage proposal started with his own courtship. But not all marriage talks are successful just because a man courts.

Certainly, there was some truth to her words.

“I’ll become an Allen, and I’ll take father’s precious company too. Isn’t that good for you as well?”

“Well. But if I were you, I wouldn’t bet on such a place in the current situation.”

This much should be enough to convey what needed to be said. Guilford judged so and turned his back on her.

“I won’t care what you do. But stop doing things that harm Lady Allen. If you do, I’ll do my best to bury you.”

Doing his best to bury her, it was a chilling statement enough to make one’s hair stand on end. But she had no particular retreat either.

“…I’ll keep that in mind.”

Emily’s well-groomed nails dug into her delicate palm.

Morning came once again to the Allen mansion.

Edward, upon opening his eyes, faced Louisa’s empty spot again today.

Now that it had become natural for them to prepare for the morning separately, Louisa wouldn’t stay in bed just because he was getting ready for work.

‘What happened yesterday already feels like a distant dream.’

Louisa, wearing the dress he chose, placing her hand on his arm as they strolled through the palace, and finally smiling brightly at him as if exhaling a deep breath.

Edward sighed. Then Mrs. Johnson, oblivious to his mood, smiled and said,

“You seem very tired. Why don’t you go down for a meal? Today we have tomato dishes good for hangovers.”

The breakfast prepared for two as if it were natural spoke of the recent changes in the Allen mansion.

Now it had become routine for the master and mistress to be at home together until well after sunrise.

The couple naturally ate together in the dining room, and Edward’s return time became relatively consistent.

“Yes, I should. I’ll be down soon, so please prepare.”

“Understood.”

Mrs. Johnson closed his door with a kind smile and left.

It’s just going to the laboratory anyway. Edward put on his clothes roughly, making the crisply ironed shirt seem out of place, and went downstairs.

Louisa was already seated in the dining room.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Of course I did.”

He replied as he pulled out a chair to sit. Looking at the meal laid out on the table, he muttered with a disgusted expression.

“Since when did we start growing tomatoes in our mansion?”

The dishes on the table were all tomato-based: tomato sugar preserves, Caprese salad, a sandwich with thickly sliced tomatoes, lettuce, and thin ham, fusilli with meat sauce, and tomato juice.

Amused by his words, Louisa sipped her tomato juice and said,

“Not long ago. We set up a small vegetable garden in the backyard, didn’t you know?”

“What? Really?”

He asked in surprise.

“Yes. In a sunny spot, about 5 yards for tomatoes.”

“For tomatoes?”

Edward echoed her words. This implied that other things were planted as well.

“Yes. Besides that, some asparagus and herbs…”

Watching his reaction, Louisa asked,

“When I mentioned it before, you said it was fine. Is it uncomfortable for you?”

“No, no. It’s not that.”

Edward quickly waved his hands, worried that his wife might feel dejected.

However, he had never heard anything remotely related to farming. Pondering how this came about, something vaguely came to mind.

“Come to think of it, around last winter, you definitely said something about landscaping the garden…”

“Yes, that’s right. After planting various herbs, I wanted to try growing something that bears fruit, and before I knew it…”

Louisa’s voice gradually grew quieter, as if embarrassed by her rambling.

“I thought it would be nice to plant one crop for each season…”

Edward put his hand to his forehead at his wife’s words, which she uttered while watching his reaction.

She had said she wanted to landscape the garden, but it turned out to be not a garden but a vegetable patch where she dug the soil with a shovel.

“Today’s harvest is the last for tomatoes. It’s getting too cold now for them to grow.”

“When did you learn how to tend a vegetable garden?”

“I learned a bit when I was a governess for the Phil family. Remember Max, the gardener there?”

Louisa became a bit excited as her husband listened to her words without much questioning for once.

Her eyes shining, she began to speak.

“I knew he was skilled at pruning trees, but it turns out he also tended to the fields himself. So later, I helped out a bit and we would share the crops.”

Edward recalled his wife occasionally bringing home small baskets filled with various vegetables.

So that’s when it was.

He learned of another thing his wife had become accustomed to because of him.

Edward sighed and said,

“I told you not to do such things. It’s not the existence of the field that’s the problem. It’s you wielding a shovel, getting dirt and water on yourself while working in the field that’s the problem. You are—”

Why don’t you understand how I feel.

He was about to say those words but closed his mouth.

His wife was already saying she wanted a divorce because things were difficult because of him. If he pressed the issue further, she might become completely exhausted.

Surprised by the sudden change in atmosphere, Louisa’s eyes widened before she became gloomy and said,

“…Ed. I’m sorry.”

“No, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

He stuffed the tomatoes his wife had grown herself into his mouth indiscriminately.

Having pushed everything into his mouth without leaving a single piece, he swallowed it all with difficulty despite Louisa’s protests—Ed, you’ll get indigestion eating like that!—and then stood up from his seat.

“Well then, I’ll be going. You’re on break again starting today, right?”

“Yes.”

“That’s good. Take some rest and find various things you want to do. Like plays or operas you want to see. You can also attend social gatherings like Lady Brice’s book club if you want.”

Book club.

Louisa just smiled at her husband’s suggestion.

“Alright. I’m sorry about earlier.”

“I said it’s fine.”

“Okay. Take care on your way.”

She waved her hand at Edward. After gazing at her for a moment, Edward walked through the corridor and opened the front door to leave.

Thud.

With the sound of the front door closing, Louisa exhaled deeply.

Judging by her husband’s reaction, she must have upset him again.

He probably didn’t like her tending to the vegetable garden. Her husband usually disliked when she did things under the pretext of volunteer work. It seems he wasn’t pleased with her gardening hobby either.

‘What exactly does my husband think I’m allowed to do?’

It’s meaningless to know now anyway.

She tried to make a smiling expression by lifting the corners of her mouth with both hands.

She had to smile. Because if she did, someday things would be alright.

Mrs. Johnson entered the dining room to clear away the food the master and mistress had eaten.

As she moved the plates one by one onto the trolley, she soon began to hum a tune.

The quiet dining room where only Mrs. Johnson’s humming and the sound of dishes clinking could be heard.

Louisa suddenly felt awkward in her time alone after so long.

Now being alone in this house felt strange.

This shouldn’t be happening.

She suddenly felt afraid.

Until recently, she thought her life wouldn’t change much even if she got divorced.

But now it was different. They say you don’t know the value of what you have until it’s gone, and the space he left behind in that short time was too big.

‘What if I end up clinging to him later?’

What if she ended up grabbing her husband’s clothes and begging him to just stay by her side like this, even if he didn’t give her love?

‘No. You know such a relationship is only temporary anyway.’

Louisa hugged herself.

Even if he had a bit of free time now and spent more time with her, it would all end soon once he started focusing on his research again.

He was a man who atoned through success, and she was a woman who couldn’t let go of love.

As long as this premise didn’t change, Ed and herself would remain parallel lines. Holding onto him now would be like heading towards a haystack just to avoid immediate pain.

‘This won’t do. Pull yourself together, Louisa.’

She comforted herself.