There Is No Paradise Where I Ran Away To (14 Chapters Left to Complete) - Chapter 9
“Miss Ebelline says she won’t have dinner. What should we do?”
The butler, who had gone to find Vivian, reappeared abruptly and delivered the expected reply. Edwin picked up his fork with an easy smile—a generous gesture indicating she should be left alone.
He hadn’t entirely failed to anticipate this. Still, he’d secretly expected, in his anxious state, that she might stand by the window and gaze downward—well within the realm of possibility.
“Why? She’s been eating quite well ever since she recovered somewhat.”
Charlotte, who had been carving her roast beef, spoke with puzzlement.
“Oh, by the way—I’ve found you a suitable marriage prospect.”
Had he known this would spark unnecessary trouble, he would have swallowed his concern for Vivian. But Edwin had already set the turning point. Her previously upward-trending mood now began its descent.
“Ha, but Your Grace, I’m not ready to consider marriage yet. I still have so much to learn, and my heart isn’t prepared either.”
“You can’t refuse forever. I have a duty—to honor my father’s last wishes—and part of that duty is to see you married.”
“Becoming someone’s wife still feels like a distant fairy tale to me. Couldn’t you please grant me just a little more time? Until I feel truly ready…”
Charlotte pleaded earnestly, but Edwin’s resolve remained unmoved.
“I’ve already invited him to Rodinia. He’ll be arriving at the mansion soon. So meet him yourself and see—does becoming someone’s wife truly feel as distant as a fairy tale?”
Charlotte said nothing in reply. It was the strongest protest she could muster. Unfortunately for her, Edwin’s attention was focused elsewhere, not on her sulking expression.
Tonight’s wine tasted unusually sweet as it slid down his throat, pleasing Edwin greatly. He rang the bell to summon a servant, inquired what vintage had been served that evening, and instructed them to bring a bottle to his bedroom. He also added, almost as an afterthought, that the garden looked dull and suggested planting some yellow daffodils.
[This is the timeline separator]The sun had sunk deep below the horizon. A bluish dusk slowly settled over the distant skyline. She waited and waited until the sky’s blue hue turned pitch black. Only when darkness fully cloaked the heavens and silence enveloped the corridor outside her room did she act.
Aware of prying eyes, she headed toward Edwin’s bedroom. As she reached the door, a strong urge to turn back surged within her—her heart heavy, uneasy, even afraid.
She’d feared he might throttle her for skipping dinner, yet somehow she’d safely made it past the evening meal. The thrill of that small rebellion gave her courage. With that courage, she knocked on Edwin’s door. Vivian, expecting Edwin himself to answer, deflated instantly when she saw Loic instead, her shoulders slumping in disappointment.
“…Um, I’ve come to see Your Grace.”
“Please wait a moment.”
The door closed again with a rough, heavy voice. She paced anxiously outside, nibbling her nails, until Loic reappeared and stepped aside to let her pass. Vivian entered cautiously, eyeing Loic warily, while he exited the room.
“It’s been a while, Miss Ebelline.”
At that familiar greeting, Vivian—who had been staring fixedly at her toes—froze, her muscles stiffening. The phrase “It’s been a while” inevitably brought back memories of what happened in the carriage.
Vivian scanned the room, her eyes darting busily as if mapping out escape routes in advance.
“…I’ve come with something to say, though it’s terribly impolite of me to intrude.”
“Go ahead. Say it.”
Realizing there was no way out in this sealed room, Vivian quickly resigned herself and looked directly at Edwin.
He looked utterly unlike the Edwin she usually knew. His dark hair was still damp from a recent bath, and his robe hung open carelessly, revealing his bare skin. Only his flawless, clear voice remained unchanged.
In one hand, he held a half-empty wine glass. In the other, he held something that, from Vivian’s perspective, resembled a map.
“Go on, then. I’m curious.”
He placed the map on the table and gave his glass a light, idle swirl in the air.
Steel your resolve—but don’t worry.
Repeating this silently in her mind, Vivian slowly approached Edwin. His gaze never left her as she drew nearer.
Unsure where to look—unsettled by his brazen stare and even bolder attire than usual—she fixed her eyes firmly on the tabletop.
There, she saw clearly what Edwin had been examining: it was indeed a map, and she read the name “Vellio.”
‘Vellio is one of Preston’s ports… Was he looking at a map of Preston? Why would he study Preston’s map?’
Recognizing the intensity of his gaze matched the persistence of her thoughts, Vivian placed a neatly laundered ascot tie onto the table.
“First, I’ve come to return this. Thank you—I used it well.”
“The honor is mine. And now you thank me as well?”
His teasing smile, accompanied by a slight tilt of his wine glass, made Vivian’s face burn hot. That tie had covered the bruise on her neck—the bruise inflicted by Duke Beitnes, concealed now by the Duke’s own ascot. Hardly something to be grateful for.
“I have one question.”
Vivian steadied herself. Her voice trembled faintly, so she paused briefly before speaking slowly and deliberately.
“When you lent money to my mother, did she know your true identity, Your Grace?”
This was the very question that had haunted her for two weeks and three days.
Had her mother truly borrowed seven hundred thousand moris knowing full well that the lender was Duke Beitnes?
She couldn’t bear to imagine her mother happily accepting the loan, unaware she’d fallen into the Duke’s trap.
“Hmm. Did she know, I wonder?”
His low, indifferent tone shredded Vivian’s heart. Yet she lacked the courage to hate or resent the man before her; only guilt and remorse swelled within. She realized now her question had merely reopened her own wounds—confirming what she already feared.
“I… I’ve wondered how you’ve been these days.”
Vivian’s head dropped, her confidence gone. She wanted to know how Edwin had lived after losing his entire family and crossing over to Newway. Surely it hadn’t been easy—despite all the pain, had there been any joy at all?
She longed to hear about the years he’d lived through.
“It’s been nothing but meetings.”
But his cold tone gave an oddly detached answer.
“The royal court rushed in, eager to turn our company into a state-run enterprise. Then one of our cargo ships sank—huge losses. And yet, amid all that, good news arrived: Eremen came bearing money, wanting to buy our newly developed weapons. They’ve been talking war, or no war, ever since.”
Edwin’s reply was firm, undeterred by Vivian’s hope. Holding her gaze, he took a slow sip of red wine. The smile curving his lips held no sincerity. Vivian swallowed a heavy sigh and, steadying her trembling heart, opened her mouth again.
“…I’m not sure if I should say this.”
She moistened her dry lips with the tip of her tongue. They felt rough and chapped.
“It won’t bring comfort, but… fourteen years ago, after that incident, our family’s reputation hit rock bottom. Everyone—the entire nation—turned their backs on us. As we spiraled into ruin, Mayer saw us as easy prey and sought to seize control of our house. In the end, my family fled to escape Mayer. Even after arriving in Newway, Father struggled to find success, which led us into massive debt—and here we are now.”
She didn’t mean to imply that because they’d also suffered hardship, he should let go of his anger over how her family had ruined his and shattered his life.
“I think I’m being punished. I understand your hatred and resentment toward me, Your Grace.”
The hand holding the wine glass slackened against the armrest, causing the liquid inside the clear, delicate glass to ripple like waves. At that moment, as the thoughts she’d rehearsed countless times finally took shape in words, Edwin’s demeanor drowned her voice beneath the wine’s ripples.
“So?”
“Pardon?”
“Did you really come here in the middle of the night just to say that? My conversation with Loic was probably three times more worthwhile than listening to you right now.”
The swaying glass finally touched Edwin’s lips, and as he tilted it, red wine flowed into his mouth.
“Ah—no. There’s something else I wanted to say.”
Her previously scattered gaze grew suitably focused. Edwin seemed about to adjust his slouched posture but instead leaned back even further.
When the robe parted further, revealing his firm, unsettlingly bare chest, she jerked her head away completely. Fearing her eyes might betray her involuntarily, she locked her shoulders rigidly in place.
“It’s a very old memory, but I remember it vividly. That day, heavy spring rain fell, and I clearly recall wrapping myself tightly in a shawl because of the chilly early-spring weather.”
“You remember such details, yet my face isn’t in Miss Ebelline’s memory at all?”
“Well… you’ve grown much taller, and your face has changed a bit too… Anyway, I remember everything.”
Edwin slowly surveyed Vivian, who sat angled away from him. Wearing Charlotte’s dress—which was nearly an inch too short for her—made Vivian look oddly unfamiliar.
She normally wore beige gowns, but those had become so stained they resembled rags; in Charlotte’s bright-colored dress, her face actually seemed more lively. The only issue was that the dress fit her too snugly—though perfectly in length—owing to her extreme thinness.
“I also remember the promise you made—that you’d regret it. But, Your Grace, I’m sorry… I don’t regret it at all.”
That was precisely when Edwin began paying attention to Vivian’s previously uninteresting voice.
“I’ll never regret—not for a single moment, now or in the future—letting you live that day, letting Sayer go.”
Vivian Ebelline kept making promises she couldn’t possibly keep. How long would it take for her to realize this was a rather bad habit? Yet he was certain this particular habit wouldn’t last much longer.
“You really think that just because I didn’t kill you that day, you’ll keep living? That’s a serious delusion.”
“If that’s fate… then I’ll accept it.”
Edwin narrowed his eyes and gave a quiet, derisive snort.
He’d expected her to beg—to plead for her life—but her willingness to accept death instead could be read either as defiance or mockery.
“Why?”
“I asked myself: if I could turn back time, would I still save you—Sayer?”
His distant gray eyes drew closer. He wondered where Vivian—who had seemed determined to avoid his gaze—had suddenly found such boldness.
“My answer was yes. Even if I knew everything, I would’ve still taken Sayer to the harbor. So, I’m sorry, but I can’t keep that promise to regret it.”
A deep silence settled between them. Though his words had once threatened her life, the current in his blue eyes remained calm. She couldn’t know what tempest lurked beneath their surface, but she was grateful that, for now, she sensed no immediate danger from him.
He placed his nearly empty glass on the table and rose from his seat. As his shadow loomed larger, Vivian instinctively stepped backward—but contrary to her hope that distance might grow between them, he closed the gap instead.
She kept retreating until her back hit the cold doorknob, which jabbed her waist. Startled, she held her breath.
“You claim you don’t regret it—then why are you so frightened?”
Despite the faint trace of amusement in his voice, Vivian tensed fully, clenching both hands tightly. Terrified he might choke her again, yet too paralyzed to raise her hands in defense, she squeezed her eyes shut.
“Miss Ebelline. This isn’t the moment to say you won’t regret it.”
Vivian’s whole body jerked—the instant she felt his touch near her throat, and a chill spread across her neck.
“This is the moment to beg. You should grab my trousers and plead for your life—just like you did so well before. That’s all I’m asking.”
She opened her eyes, which had been tightly shut. Recognizing the scarf in his hand, she hurriedly covered the bruised spot on her neck with her palm. He stepped back, still holding the scarf, and returned to his seat. As the air grew lighter, her mind calmed and quickly cleared—reminding her of the words she’d desperately wanted to say.
“And… also.”
She summoned her courage and spoke the words she’d practiced for a week and three days.
“I’d prefer it if you stopped force-feeding me.”
“Force-feeding?”
“You make me eat against my will. I don’t need that much food, and I don’t have much appetite anyway. Besides—if I starved to death, wouldn’t that actually be good for you? Since you seem to want me dead.”
Ebelline was unexpectedly interesting—a rare delight in daily life. If teasing and tormenting her became this entertaining, he might even grow reluctant to kill her, feeling it would be a shame to lose such amusement.
Having tormented her several times already, perhaps it was time to try making her laugh instead.
Edwin offered a half-serious, half-playful smile—hovering somewhere between sincerity and jest.
“You can’t starve to death. What I want you to eat isn’t force-feeding—it’s closer to simply helping you gain some weight.”
“…Why do you want me to gain weight?”
“So you’ll have something to eat.”
His stormy eyes froze for an instant.
“E-eat? Eat what…?”
“Do you still not understand?”
“…”
“Why I didn’t kill you right away but let you live. Why I care so much about what goes into Miss Ebelline’s mouth. Are you really asking because you don’t know?”
Her plump lips parted slightly, like a fish gasping. His blue eyes trailed openly, deliberately, down the line of her neck.
“You’re too bony—you need some meat on you.”
Turns Out He’s Been Secretly in Love with Me
One-line summary: He acts like he doesn’t like her but is actually playing hard to get.
Synopsis:
Xu Muzhou like her. He has liked her for a very long time, and through repeated schemes, he finally closed the distance with her.
But this is still far from enough.
He wants to be the one who stands out among her many suitors, to fight for her attention, and to make her take the initiative to pursue him.
_____
Please help me, I want to bring you the best possible things.
If you find any chapter or novel with poor translation and editing quality, let me know by commenting directly under that novel or chapter. I will retranslate it as soon as possible.
[Touch the gear icon in the bottom right corner of the screen to move to the next chapter if you want.]
Most Commented This Week
The Villain Has Gone Mad For Me (Completed Main Story)
I’m The Lowest-Ranking Daughter Of A Martial Arts Villain (2 Chapters Left to Complete)
I Became the Assassin Family’s Foster Daughter (Completed Main Story)
The Duke Only Needs My Child (Completed Main Story)
Men of the Harem (137 Chapters Left to Complete)
At the End of Ruin, There You Are (56 Chapters Left to Complete)
She’s a Villainess but her Husband is Handsome (Completed Main Story)
People Aren’t Meant to Be Fixed! (4 Chapters Left to Complete)
My Discarded Fiancé Returned (Completed Main Story)
Summer Must Die (16 Chapters Left to Complete)
I Received The First Time Of My Extraordinary Superior (9 Chapters Left to Complete)
Regret With All Your Might (Completed Main Story)