There Is No Paradise Where I Ran Away To - Chapter 50

Five short but long days had passed. On the day we were supposed to leave Rotermond for the capital, trouble finally broke out.

From the fourth evening, Susanna had been shivering and coughing lightly, saying her body felt chilly. On the fifth dawn, she finally became bedridden. In the end, Susanna’s trip to the capital was canceled, but the problem here was that Charlotte’s trip to the capital was also canceled together.

The origin of the incident was that Susanna had originally called Charlotte to Rotermond together to prevent Edwin and Vivian from being alone for a long period of one week. However, Susanna, who did not want to go to the capital with Charlotte, wrote a letter to Charlotte’s fiancé, Zimmerman, inviting him to Rotermond.

So Baron Zimmerman was currently on his way to Rotermond to meet Charlotte, so Charlotte had no choice but to be tied to Rotermond.

Although Edwin, who hated Charlotte staying in Rotermond terribly and tried to take her somehow, changed his attitude at the news that the baron was coming. Charlotte also had to reluctantly give up her trip to the capital as she could not find a justification to leave Rotermond and abandon Baron Zimmerman.

She had set up a cunning and meticulous scheme, but it was Susanna who fell into that scheme. And it wasn’t just Susanna and Charlotte who were tied down by that scheme.

Vivian, who suddenly had to ride in the carriage alone with Edwin, searched for an excuse to stay in Rotermond instead. But Vivian, lacking quick wit, had to helplessly get on the carriage in the rushed time.

Currently, Rotermond Castle was in a state of emergency due to Baron Baitness’s death from tuberculosis. In case the baroness’s simple cold might grow into tuberculosis, she couldn’t take a single step outside her room, so the Baitness family’s carriage quietly left Rotermond Castle.

In the silence, the sound of wheels rubbing against the dirt floor wedged in. The body moved along with the rhythm of the bumpy carriage.

Vivian lowered her eyes with her waist and neck straightened. At the end of her gaze, the black toe of the man’s shoe was reflected, just about a finger’s length away from her own shoe toe. It seemed like they might touch at any moment, but she decided to try to understand him with his long legs being uncomfortable.

“Just in case you don’t know, it’s not okay for you to touch or hug me again like last time just because we’re alone.”

“This time, clench your fist. The palm doesn’t hurt at all.”

The stern warning was met with a sneer. Vivian, with her brow slightly furrowed, sat up uncomfortably.

“If you do that, I’ll jump out of the carriage. If you feel the urge to hug me, strangle me instead.”

Instead of answering, he stretched his legs as much as his languid smile. His shoe toe touched the tip of Vivian’s foot.

Normally, she would have moved aside to let him stretch his legs comfortably, but Vivian, who didn’t want to remain a lady after all, stubbornly held her position. Her icy blue eyes met his without avoiding them.

Edwin laughed lazily and quietly closed his eyes. Fatigue was visible on his face as he leaned back with his arms crossed.

Feeling awkward and embarrassed for needlessly scolding a tired person, she quietly turned her eyes to the window.

The carriage interior, left with just the two of them, was peaceful for a while. The carriage, swaying as if in a mother’s embrace, invited drowsiness. Eyelids grew heavier and she repeatedly fell into and out of sleep.

“Vivian.”

It was then that the drowsy peace was broken. Startled by the low tone that seemed to crawl on the ground, Vivian’s eyes flew open. Edwin was captured in her sleepy, dizzy vision.

She thought she had seen wrong when his head nodded to the seat beside him, as her mind wasn’t fully awake.

But as her mind became clearer, when he nodded once more for her to come to the side seat, Vivian exhaled as if exasperated and shook her head.

“Then jump out.”

He murmured casually with a laugh. This time, she blinked her eyes, wondering what she had heard.

“If you don’t come to my side, I’ll go over there.”

“…”

“And I’ll touch you and hug you. If you don’t like that, you have to jump out of the carriage now.”

She was at a loss for words, dumbfounded when he urged her to jump out of the carriage with a flawless, clean smile. She had considered jumping out of the carriage as just an empty threat, but now the urge to actually jump out rose up.

The man before her was one who needed to be crushed, disregarding her opinions and feelings, to feel relieved. Vivian would rather choose to be run over by the carriage wheels and trampled by horse hooves than endure such situations that would be repeated countless times until death.

“You think I can’t do it?”

“Go ahead. Try jumping out.”

Vivian chewed the inside of her cheek. The drowsiness that had covered the carriage had already disappeared.

As she glanced at the tightly closed carriage door, her heart caused a commotion. Her breathing gradually quickened and her hands gripping her skirt were dominated by fear-laden strength.

Life is sweet in the face of death.

It was a moment when she hated Edwin, who was smiling peacefully, to the point of tears. Vivian clenched her jaw tightly and balled her fists. Even as she moved her hips closer to the carriage door, a drowsy smile lingered.

Looking at Edwin, Vivian felt that the sequence of having to jump out seemed justified as she stood up unsteadily in the swaying carriage.

Should I really jump out?

It was the moment when her ambitious intent, which had been overflowing, lost its strength. But with only pride left at this point, Vivian’s reckless stubbornness overflowed, and she quickly reached out to grab the carriage door handle.

It was then.

She thought the carriage had shaken greatly as her body swayed. She struggled to regain balance, but her body was helplessly pulled away.

Vivian realized what had happened to her.

It wasn’t that the carriage had shaken, but that Edwin had pulled her skirt, causing her body to tilt, and her fluttering body was pulled without resistance, landing on her behind and occupying the seat next to him. Vivian struggled, but it was impossible to escape from him who had already embraced her waist.

“Why are you doing this to me! I told you to strangle me instead! Why do you keep…!”

“You knew I would catch you.”

The violent movements of hitting and pushing Edwin’s shoulders stopped.

“Try jumping out hundreds of times. You’ll make useless gestures even though you know I’ll catch you.”

Embarrassed at having her intentions seen through, Vivian only grumbled lowly, unable to find words to refute. Meanwhile, Edwin pulled Vivian, who was sitting next to him, once more to bring her closer, then rested his head on her small shoulder. She shuddered when the soft hair tickled her cheek.

When his other hand caressed Vivian’s stomach, she unconsciously swallowed her breath. As she grabbed the back of his hand to remove the rude touch, he flipped his hand that had been stroking her stomach and intertwined their fingers, holding her hand.

She had become completely trapped by the bindings of hands and waist.

“Your Grace, please let me go.”

Vivian whispered quietly, lowering her voice. She also mixed firmness into it.

“I’m getting tired of saying the same thing. You know that this kind of behavior is wrong. Don’t lower your dignity like this, Your Grace.”

Although she tried to calmly admonish and persuade him, there was no response. Vivian struggled again.

“Stay still.”

When he pulled with force as if warning, she chose to wait until he let go, unable to find a solution to escape. She patiently endured, bearing Edwin’s weight pressing down on her shoulder.

After a long while.

The bumping carriage was like a lullaby, and the man’s warmth was warm enough to relieve tension. The sensation of tickling her cheek gently added weight to her eyelids, and Vivian put strength into her eyes whenever drowsiness poured in.

When the arm around her waist and the hand holding hers loosened, she carefully looked at Edwin’s face resting on her shoulder.

He was asleep. Leaning on her shoulder, embracing her waist, and holding her hand.

Vivian, who had not anticipated facing a sleeping face, stared at him with slightly perplexed eyes.

It was a strange face.

The expression that had been coldly staring with ruthless blue eyes was as innocent as a clear boy when he fell asleep. It resembled his appearance wet with sweat on a summer day that she had seen sometime before.

She felt the urge to touch his long eyes with thick eyelashes. His lips were also appropriately plump and reddish, similar in color to the red berries often seen in the mansion. Suddenly coming to her senses, Vivian cleared her throat in embarrassment as she withdrew her gaze.

The arm stuck between the carriage wall and her back must have been uncomfortable for both her and him. Vivian carefully pulled out the arm stuck between her back, being cautious not to wake him, but during that time, he woke up.

Vivian was startled, but Edwin didn’t insist on hugging her and obediently adjusted his posture, falling asleep with his head resting on her small shoulder.

He needed a shoulder because he was sleepy. Then he should have said so. Did he really have to go that far?

A cold question arose, but it didn’t seem like she would have listened nicely even if he had said it.

A sweet and thick masculine scent wafted from somewhere. When she glanced down slightly, Edwin was there.

***

The carriage jumped high after hitting a bump. Vivian, who woke up startled by the shock, blinked her sleepy eyes. For a moment, she hurriedly raised her head when confronted with the reason why it had been so stable that she had even forgotten she had fallen asleep in the carriage.

“Did you sleep well?”

Just before consciousness was enveloped in darkness, Edwin, who had been leaning on her shoulder, had the appearance of an innocent boy. What she faced upon waking was a cold and ruthless adult.

Not only had she borrowed his shoulder, but at the end of her perplexed gaze was a clear saliva stain on his black jacket.

Vivian, who had encountered the worst situation while still half-asleep, fell into a cauldron of confusion. Her face turned bright red as she hurriedly took out a handkerchief and scrubbed his forearm.

However, the dark stain that had already set in wouldn’t disappear just by doing that.

Why didn’t I jump out of the carriage earlier? I should have jumped out.

If I was going to show such frivolous behavior, far from being a lady, leaning on this man’s shoulder and even drooling while sleeping.

“Vivian.”

Startled by the call, Vivian stopped wiping the jacket. Her eyes were wide and her expression stiff. She didn’t seem to be aware of what she was doing now.

Edwin let out a chuckle and reached out to roughly wipe Vivian’s mouth. Vivian, who had been flinching while slightly furrowing her brow, saw that his retreating hand was shiny. The moment she realized that he had wiped the drool that had flowed from her mouth, she fell into a great forest of despair.

With her ears and nape burning, she grabbed Edwin’s hand, which was wet with saliva, almost crying. Then she wiped his hand a little more delicately and gently, but quickly and thoroughly than Edwin had roughly wiped her mouth.

When Edwin reached out with his other hand and gently grasped her bright red earlobe, Vivian turned to look at him. He slowly rubbed the hot earlobe. The lively warmth of Vivian felt at his fingertips reminded him of the face of the deeply sleeping woman.

“It’s in front of me. Only I saw it.”

The sleeping woman didn’t get angry or avoid when her cheek was caressed. Even though transparent saliva flowed between her plump lips that had been pressed against the shoulder, she didn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed. Vivian fell asleep without caring about what kind of appearance she showed to whom.

An appearance she didn’t want to show anyone. An appearance only I want to see.

Vivian, asleep leaning on his shoulder, was imprinted on Edwin like that.

“But why are you so embarrassed?”

“I-I’m not embarrassed? Just… I was worried Your Grace might find it dirty…”

Vivian, putting on a rather dignified air, pursed her lips and straightened her posture as she returned his hand to its place.

“You told me not to touch you, but why are you touching without permission?”

Edwin teased Vivian, who had thrown her gaze far away, leaning against the window.

“I didn’t touch, I wiped it. Because your hand got dirty…”

“It’s not dirty.”

“How can someone else’s saliva not be dirty?”

“Someone else’s saliva is dirty.”

At the laughter filling the carriage, Vivian turned her head the other way and squeezed her eyes shut. Vivian wiped her mouth once more, nearly in tears.

“But it’s yours. So it’s not dirty.”

She only wished for this long journey to end soon. She wanted to quickly escape from this time of being alone with him in this narrow space.