There Is No Paradise Where I Ran Away To - Chapter 5

It rains again.

After it rained on the day Duke Baitness came to Rodinia, there were several sunny days, and now it’s raining again. Of all days, it had to rain on the day I decided to go out.

I was desperate since this outing was more than just a walk, but I had to console myself that at least the raindrops weren’t too heavy.

“Are you just going to do embroidery again today, miss?”

Vivian’s daily routine consisted entirely of embroidering, writing letters, or reading. How bored must Sophie be, who stayed by Vivian’s side? Dusting decorations that were already spotless was the only way to alleviate her tedious days.

“No. I was thinking of going down to the village for a bit later today.”

Sophie perked up when there was a change in Vivian’s routine.

“Really? Why the village? Moreover, it’s raining. Ah, you said you like walking on rainy days, didn’t you?”

Her face showed confidence that she would be included in the trip to the village. Vivian tried to appease her with an apologetic smile.

“I need to sell the embroidery I finished. I’ll go alone again today, so could you take care of other things?”

“What? You’re going alone? I’ll go with you. If I let you go alone, the Duke will…”

Vivian, who had been proudly stroking the finished embroidery with colorful flowers, paused.

There was no place for Duke Baitness in this conversation. His sudden emergence made Vivian shrink and Sophie awkward.

“It’s raining and it’ll get dark soon. It’s dangerous, so I’ll go with you.”

After the incident at the first meal, he had become incredibly uncomfortable. That day, the Duke finally let go of her chin only after hearing a submissive response. After finishing the meal and returning to her room, Vivian cried so much that Sophie was sweating profusely over the humiliation the Duke had delivered.

Mr. Sheffer had lied to her. Her assessment that there was much to learn from him was also wrong. The people of Newway couldn’t possibly love someone who carelessly insulted her family, grabbed a lady’s face, and forced her to eat.

After that, every mealtime became a struggle with nausea from being forced to eat, and if she was negligent in moving her utensils, she had to bear the Duke’s gaze.

She was infinitely grateful to Duke Baitness, but at the same time, infinitely hated him. The Duke’s ability to place incompatible emotions on the same level was remarkable.

“No. I have to walk to the village, so I’ll go alone.”

“What? You’re walking to the village? Why?”

“Hm? Because… my two legs are the only means I have to get to the village.”

“You could take a carriage.”

“I don’t have a carriage. I’m used to walking to the village, so it’s fine.”

Leaving Sophie to worry, Vivian took out the completed embroidery and folded it neatly. As she gathered her shawl and the umbrella set by the fireplace, Sophie visibly blocked Vivian’s path.

“Are you leaving now?”

“Yes. I think if I leave now, I can return before dinner. The Duke doesn’t like it when meals are skipped.”

Since he had grabbed her chin for eating so little, if she didn’t show her face at mealtime, would he grab her hair this time?

Judging by the Duke’s attitude, somewhere between hostility and kindness, she thought there was a possibility.

“Ah, right! Then I’ll ask the Duke.”

“Hm?”

“I’ll ask the Duke to lend us a carriage. That way, you can go and come back safely, and your legs won’t hurt.”

“Ah, no. It’s fine. I can just walk.”

“I’ll just go ask him quickly. Please wait a moment.”

Sophie left before she could be stopped. Having just thought about the Duke possibly grabbing her hair, Vivian felt a chill.

Vivian decided to leave the mansion before Sophie returned. As soon as she hurriedly passed through the lobby and left the mansion, she realized the world was not on her side.

[This is the timeline separator]

‘Miss Eveline says she’s going to the village. She’s going down to sell her embroidery.’

He had to stay in the capital for a while due to company business. As he was about to get into the carriage to leave Rodinia, Sophie, who had hurriedly come to find him, recited Eveline’s itinerary.

Edwin looked up at the rainy sky. While doubting if she was serious about going out in this weather, his eyes met Vivian’s as she was arranging a few strands of golden hair fluttering in the wind and rain. Her gray eyes shook greatly, like someone caught trying to escape.

“Oh? Miss. You’re already out?”

“…Yes.”

Vivian’s voice was so soft it was almost buried under the sound of rain.

“I have some business in the village, so I’ll be going ahead. I’ll see you at dinner, Duke.”

Unaware that Edwin would be away from the mansion for a while, Vivian clearly and deliberately promised dinner. As she bowed her head slightly and was about to pass by Edwin with her umbrella open, Royce blocked Vivian’s path. Her cloudy eyes immediately turned to Edwin. He gestured with his chin, a rather elegant motion signaling her to get into the carriage. Just as she was about to show her intention to refuse, she closed her mouth, remembering the events of a few days ago.

The responsibility to obey. Eat when told to eat, ride when told to ride.

For things that were supposed to be obedient, they were utterly insignificant.

Make up your mind, but don’t worry.

After engraving her father’s advice in her bones, she got into the carriage as if pushed. Royce took away her slightly wet umbrella.

As the carriage door closed, the sound of rain subsided. Unlike the tense Vivian, the blue eyes blatantly scanned her.

Embarrassed, Vivian awkwardly turned her head towards the window. Edwin reached out and pulled the tie-back. Deprived even of the rainy scenery she had taken comfort in, all she could do was look at the man in front of her.

“…What kind of person is the gentleman who always follows you, Duke?”

She addressed him with dignity in her smile, as if she had forgotten the incident from a few days ago. It would be at most 15 minutes, but she couldn’t endure in silence. She had to break the awkward air with conversation.

“Does Royce look gentlemanly enough in Miss Eveline’s eyes to be called a gentleman?”

“Well, um…”

“Be careful. That gentleman who looks refined to Miss Eveline is actually very skilled with guns and knives.”

“…”

“He’s also very good at handling other things.”

After taking a deep breath and swallowing dry saliva, Vivian lowered her gaze and then tried to look out the window again. But realizing she was blocked by the curtain, she rolled her eyes back to Edwin.

“Ah, yes. The 700,000 mori… you confirmed it, right?”

Vivian, who found the silence uncomfortable, kept trying to make conversation. On the night she had shed tears in front of the table, Vivian had come with a trunk containing 700,000 mori.

Should I say she came to find it?

When he opened the door in response to a knock, there was no one who had knocked, just a trunk sitting there alone. Only after confirming that it contained 700,000 mori did he realize who had knocked on the door.

“I wonder?”

Vivian’s eyes widened at the brief response.

“I came to see you recently. I left the money… and went back…”

“I haven’t seen it. Neither you nor the money.”

The sound of her heart sinking could be heard from here. Her plump lips, the only somewhat presentable part of her shabby appearance, moved hesitantly.

Her posture, sitting up straight, was no different from 14 years ago. If there was any similarity between then and now, it could be said that she still maintained the demeanor of a princess.

“Um, did you really not see it? I left the money in front of your room door. I put 700,000 mori in a brown trunk.”

“Are you even lying now?”

“No! How could I? I definitely left the trunk with the money there.”

Her glistening eyes were on the verge of tears. She might feel like she couldn’t bear it without crying at the terrible thought of losing the borrowed money, but she was surprisingly holding up well.

Why bother trying so hard now? Just cry.

He just stared at her quietly as if waiting for her to cry, but tears never fell.

“Did you really not see it? Ah, I should have just confirmed it. Because it was so late, I thought I might disturb you…”

“That’s why, why did you come so late at night.”

“Well, that’s…”

Her face showed she would rather die than say she had been crying in her room after dinner time.

Vivian couldn’t keep her hands still, which she had gathered demurely. Finding it mentally distracting, he decided to end the joke here.

“I received it.”

“Pardon?”

“I said I received that money.”

“…Were you joking?”

“Does it look like a joke?”

Vivian hesitated, then shook her head, avoiding his eyes. Her face showed relief that it was a joke, but there was no resentment. The lack of even resentment spoke to how meaningful that money was to Vivian.

The rain continued to fall. The air inside the carriage was damp, and amidst it, the woman’s floral scent was loosely permeated.

Carriage. Rain. And Vivian Eveline.

This place, with all three elements in place, was no different from 14 years ago. The only difference was that the person in front of him was not a chubby young girl, but a skinny, plain-looking lady.

“…Anyway, thank you for many things. For lending money to my mother, for forgiving the interest, and for not reporting my mother.”

Edwin’s legs grew longer. Vivian looked down at the shoe tips that had suddenly come closer and pulled her dirty feet inward to avoid hitting his shoe tips.

“And thank you for the child you attached to my room.”

Vivian, who had much to be thankful for, once again lowered her gaze to check if there was any chance of collision with Edwin. And she slightly moved her hips so he could stretch his legs more comfortably.

“It will take some time, but I will definitely repay the debt. If my mother returns early, I can repay it quickly, but until then, I’ll continue to repay little by little.”

“How? By selling that embroidery?”

A sharp blade briefly flashed in Edwin’s soft voice. Vivian, startled, widened her eyes for a moment before composing her expression.

“Still, Theo sells the embroidery well. I was planning to stop by the clothing store today to buy a gift for Miss Windler. I think I should buy a gift for you too, Duke… Is there anything you need?”

Clothing store. Tailor. Friend. Theo Evans.

At the end of his narrowing thoughts, he remembered the word “friend” that the red lips in front of him had recited freely.

“A gift?”

As Edwin let out a soft chuckle, Vivian’s cheeks flushed hot. A low silence fell between the two. Only the sound of heavy raindrops falling and hitting was all there was.

The thought that he really wanted to make that woman cry, with her fair cheeks turning red and blotchy, suddenly occurred to him because the sound of rain had become a little more intense.

Because she made an irresponsible promise without even trying to remember what situation she was in.

“You want to give me a gift?”

“I did, but if you don’t need it…”

“You should have known what I want most before asking. Miss Eveline.”

Vivian’s lost eyes reluctantly settled on Edwin.

“Then the gift would have been easier.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know well because I haven’t seen you many times.”

“No. You know.”

“Pardon?”

“You know what I want most, Miss Eveline. You just haven’t realized it. It’s part of the promise.”

Vivian recalled her time with Edwin. Although their conversations were few and clear, there was no promise they had made other than signing the loan agreement.

“Miss Eveline with the good memory. So think carefully about what promise we made.”

The pebble Edwin threw caused a big ripple.

Indeed, the familiarity she felt when looking at him wasn’t a wrong feeling.

Edwin Baitness.

But no matter how much she thought about it, it was a name she had never heard before. As far as she knew, it was a surname that had no connection even with her family.

“It rained that day too, and we were alone in a carriage.”

Rain. Carriage. Alone.

Her gray eyes went back through her memories, recalling the hints he had thrown.

“All the way to the port, Miss Eveline was looking at me, and I never let Miss Eveline out of my sight. Why?”

When her gaze finally reached his eyes, a rather vivid memory flashed through her mind.

“I have to engrave Eveline’s face. In my eyes, in my bones, in my heart.”

The blue eyes that had been tickling her memories, wandering around, were becoming clearer. The gaze that had tormented her, somewhere between hostility and kindness, was coming closer and closer to reality.

“You said you’d regret it. You promised, Vivian.”

As the memory, which had been blurry except for the blue eyes, became clear, Vivian’s plump lips parted slightly.

On a spring rainy day, a boy who had rushed into the carriage along with the cold air. Begging and pleading, covered in mud to the point where his face couldn’t be properly recognized. He said to save him.

‘Beg. Say you want to be saved. Plead.’

And the condition to allow her to sign the loan agreement was just that.

“Could it be that you are, that boy from back then…”

Sayer Raven.

The faces of that boy and this man overlapped. Only now could she explain the true identity of the man she was facing, the reason for the strange hostility she had felt.

“That boy from back then?”

Vivian’s face turned white. Her heavy lips took quite a long time to reveal the difficult name.

“Sayer… Raven, is it you? Is it really you, Sayer, who hid in the carriage 14 years ago…”

“Why that face? You told me to live, but your eyes look like you wished I had died.”

The lightly rising smile tickled her spine chillingly.

If the man in front of her was not Edwin Baitness but Sayer Raven from long ago, whom she had taken to the port, then the puzzle full of questions would be easily solved.

If the process of getting here was the Duke’s intentional plan.

Deliberately approaching, lending a large sum to her mother who had no credit, and instead taking away the mansion.

If it wasn’t generosity but bait.

Threatening her with her mother’s loan agreement when she had nowhere to go, and keeping her tied to the mansion by making her pay the interest.

“…Did you approach knowing everything? Lending money to my mother, buying the mansion… making me write the loan agreement?”

“When the other party goes to such trouble, you should have thought about whether you had done anything wrong. Miss Eveline.”

“Why on earth…”

“Why? Are you asking why now? Miss Eveline.”

He maintained his dignity and grace throughout, even while mentioning the events from 14 years ago. He didn’t leave even the slightest flaw in his clean and proper tone.

Unable to gauge what emotions he was hiding behind his cynical expression, the fear arose from not being able to imagine what would happen next.

But Vivian, who was used to imagining the worst scenarios, tried to get as far away from him as possible, though this was inside a moving carriage.

Therefore, it meant she was trapped within a space where his hand could reach, within the range of threat.

“There was one more thing we promised, you and I.”

There was no choice. Vivian threw herself towards the carriage door to escape from him. Her only thought was to get away from this man somehow.

But as a large hand suddenly grabbed and pulled her neck, her unsteady body fluttered and collapsed to the floor.

“Ugh!”

Unlike the rough force gripping her neck, the blue eyes came down calmly. They were cold, chilling eyes without mercy.

“I think that might be today, Miss Eveline.”

When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem

This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Synopsis:

“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”

Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.

Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.

While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the  Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…

Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.

 

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