There Is No Paradise Where I Ran Away To - Chapter 20

This was the second time walking with Charlotte. On the early morning we walked together, Charlotte’s smiling face as she said she would embroider my scarf was vivid. Recalling that touching moment spread a gentle warmth like finding a desperate campfire in a harsh world swept by fierce blizzards.

That’s not all. From the day I realized the duke’s identity until he returned to Rodinia, it was Charlotte who protected Vivian as she writhed in agony.

That relationship became a mess overnight. Yesterday, we glared at each other and harbored malice. That fact weighed heavily on Vivian’s heart.

“About yesterday… I’m sorry, Miss Windler.”

Vivian apologized readily. She regretted and felt sorry for her attitude towards Charlotte yesterday.

“I absolutely did not have any ill feelings towards Miss Windler.”

She added, glancing occasionally, but her expression was cold and dry. As Vivian stopped walking nervously, Charlotte’s cynical gaze reached her.

“Why are you still staying in this mansion?”

Her lips, which were about to apologize once more for yesterday’s incident, closed. Under the intense sunlight that seemed to push her back, the stinging question took her breath away. The meaning of Charlotte’s gaze towards her was conveyed precisely. The sincerity transmitted without even having to speak pierced Vivian’s heart.

“Your friend tried to kill the duke and you acted shamefully towards him. I’m asking why you’re still staying in this mansion after all that.”

Vivian’s lips parted and closed as if wronged. If she could, she wanted to go back 14 years and explain why she had no choice but to stay here. But she didn’t feel like letting others know about an issue that should end with Edwin.

“I understand why you’re upset, Miss Windler. I made a mistake. I only have Theo, and when the duke said he was forcibly taking Theo to the hunting ground…”

Vivian, who had been stuttering, glanced at Charlotte and corrected herself.

“I was worried when he said he was going to the hunting ground with Theo. I was afraid there might be an unfortunate accident. When I actually saw my friend heading towards the forest, I lost my reason.”

Despite the long-winded excuses, there was no change in Charlotte’s cold gaze.

“So I acted rudely without reading the situation. I’m sorry.”

“Did I ask about that?”

The chilling tone that made her hair stand on end crushed Vivian’s heart. Vivian looked up and faced Charlotte. Eyes filled with even more contempt, pupils that said she was pathetic, felt sharp and piercing.

“I asked why you’re still here. Why don’t you leave this place?”

In the end, Vivian couldn’t answer. Charlotte, who was taking a deep breath, turned her eyes away.

“Actually, I saw Miss Eveline coming out of the duke’s room late at night before.”

Vivian’s thoughts stopped along with her heart.

“I tried not to misunderstand. Surely a noble young lady wouldn’t willingly throw herself at him.”

Her face flushed at the sudden feeling of being slapped. An unfamiliar sense of shame followed.

After her parents’ absence and the maid Maria’s escape, countless doubts and baseless convictions haunted Vivian, who was left alone.

Yet she endured. There was no need to be swayed by words that weren’t true. She thought that the evaluations of strangers couldn’t even scratch her life.

Until Charlotte devastatingly evaluated her.

“But do you know what the duke said when he called me and handed me Miss Eveline’s scarf not long after?”

A scarf?

The only scarf that came to mind was the one the duke had used to cover the bruise on her neck, the one he had taken when they met in his room late at night. Moreover, hadn’t he said he threw it away when she tried to get it back?

“He said since I said I would embroider it, I should embroider it and bring it back. That’s what the duke instructed me to do.”

“But the duke told me…”

“And Miss Eveline had the duke’s tie.”

Her parting plump lips froze. Charlotte, who had tangled the correlation between the scarf and tie, was confident.

“Shall I tell you why Miss Eveline can’t leave the mansion?”

“…”

“You want to maintain your dignity as a noble and don’t want to associate with shabby places, so you’re trying to stick close to the duke by any means necessary, right?”

“No. That’s not the reason…”

“I’ve decided to define Miss Eveline that way now. So leave the mansion before you face worse treatment.”

In front of the resolute Charlotte, Vivian’s mind went blank. Shame and humiliation drove Vivian to the edge of a cliff, but she had to hurry and explain.

However, even finding the beginning of the tangled thread was overwhelming.

If only she could leave the mansion as Charlotte demanded, if only she could run away from Edwin. She would meet her parents she had been desperately searching for alive, and she wouldn’t have to suffer from the guilt that tripped her every time she faced those blue eyes. There would even be hope to rebuild her life once again.

“…I have a debt.”

She summed up her complicated, crumbling thoughts into one amidst her trembling breath.

“My mother owed a debt to the duke, and for some reason she hasn’t returned yet, so I agreed to pay off the interest on the debt. Since I don’t have much credit, the duke is letting me stay out of… something like consideration. There’s no other reason. What you’re thinking, Miss Windler… it didn’t happen and it won’t happen in the future.”

Vivian pleaded desperately. She didn’t want to remain as that kind of woman in an unjust conviction. She had to protect her last remaining pride, even though she had lost everything else.

“Then how do you explain the scarf and tie?”

But that was as far as it went. There was no way out. Her lips quivered like a fish, unable to explain the reason. At the same time, her burning heart turned to ashes, piling up layer by layer.

“Then let me ask the opposite. Are you actually repaying the debt you owe to the duke?”

Could this be a breakthrough? Thinking she had gotten a good question, Vivian answered immediately.

“Yes. To the best of my ability…”

“How? Is the reason you’re embroidering to sell it and repay the debt? You’re saying you’re paying off the debt by selling just that?”

This question couldn’t be a breakthrough either. The feeling of helplessness endlessly plummeted her powerless self. There was no more excuse to avoid. It was clear that to Charlotte, she would remain just someone who willingly threw herself at a noble to maintain her dignity.

“You can’t answer that either, right? Even you know it doesn’t make sense, right? You know it’s ridiculous to say you’re paying off a debt by selling just embroidery.”

Charlotte, who seemed tired of dealing with the dazed Vivian, let out a deep sigh.

“I don’t want to be involved with someone like you at all. The kind who does anything to survive. So don’t talk to me ever again. Even facing you like this is shameful.”

Charlotte, who had stabbed Vivian multiple times with the cruelest words, turned away. Vivian, who had been staring blankly at the small retreating back, collapsed on the spot.

It felt like someone was grabbing her ankle and pulling her down deep, deep underground. Or as if they had shackled her legs and were mocking her to bear the weight.

Would it be a little better if tears at least flowed?

But there was no moisture in her dry, ashen eyes. Something she wanted to burst out was stuck in her throat like a huge rock.

***

After finishing the fruitless walk, she dragged her heavy steps back to the mansion.

The light green dress fluttering at her toes appeared hazy as her body and mind separated. What brought her back to reality was encountering Edwin again in the corridor where she had met him earlier.

She immediately turned away from Edwin, who was walking towards her holding a book that could pass for a law book. She left the main corridor and headed to the right. Vivian, who had hidden her body behind a pillar in the suddenly narrowed corridor, slowly sat down on the floor as even leaning against the pillar was difficult.

As the traces of the bullet, Edwin’s traces, on her dress became vivid, she pulled at the hem of the dress with the hole.

She had been feeling numb ever since Edwin gripped her body yesterday. If she had reconciled with Charlotte, there might have been a change in emotions, but not only did she fail to reconcile, she also gained a lot of unwanted misunderstandings.

Let’s just cry. When recalling the man who carelessly gripped her body and looked down on her, instead of feeling trapped in waves without an exit, so that she could cry her heart out, beating her chest.

Instead of circling in a lightless cave feeling misunderstood for offering her body to the man holding her lifeline, so that she could protest with anger-filled cries.

So. Let’s do that. Let’s cry. Let’s cry it out.

Vivian buried her face as she pulled her knees close. But the huge lump in her chest rather blocked her tear ducts.

‘So leave the mansion before you face worse treatment.’

Should I leave? Should I run away? Will everything be alright if I disappear to a place where no one is? Won’t the duke look for me? If he finds me. What will happen then?

Someone’s whisper went back and forth in Vivian’s ears. An angel? A devil? Who is tempting her to escape from the mansion that’s like a noose?

The numerous unanswered questions stopped because something heavy and dull fell on her head with a thud.

Startled, Vivian touched her crown and quickly looked up. There was Edwin, leaning against the pillar, retrieving the thick book. Even under his downcast eyelids, long and dense eyelashes created dark shadows.

Before she could think she should stand up, an abrupt hand grabbed her arm and pulled her up. Vivian had no will of her own as she suddenly found herself standing.

“Do you have something to say?”

His voice, clearly angry about yesterday’s incident, was dry and hard. Vivian, who had moved one step away from him, hardly allowed distance between her and Edwin, and Edwin knew this fact but didn’t bother to narrow the gap.

“Not particularly.”

The calm blue eyes murmured quietly.

“I don’t know why you followed me here, but if you have nothing to say, I’ll be going now.”

“Wasn’t it you who had something to say?”

An unexpected question came just as she was about to lower her head. Who was it that followed whom here? After doing that, she was curious about the duke’s intention in asking if she had something to say.

“At first I thought you were avoiding me.”

“Then you’re saying it wasn’t the case this time? I was indeed avoiding you, Your Grace.”

“If you were going to avoid me, you shouldn’t have been so conspicuous. Miss Eveline.”

Edwin came closer as if to show her. It wasn’t as close as the moment when part of her body was grabbed, but Vivian, startled, took a step back. Then her right heel caught on her left toe and she stumbled. Fortunately, there was no mishap of falling. Vivian, having regained her balance, moved away as she was.

“It’s contradictory to say you were avoiding me when you were more noticeable than anyone.”

The approaching hand tried to grab her skirt again. Vivian tried to avoid it, but Edwin, who was faster, grasped Vivian’s skirt just like yesterday.

“Please… let this go. I’m afraid others might see.”

Vivian, who had turned pale, pulled at her skirt with all her might. Blue veins stood out stiffly on the back of his white hand holding her skirt. The creaking friction sound made Vivian anxious.

“If you wear such flashy clothes.”

He pulled with force. Vivian’s body shook greatly, but she wasn’t drawn into Edwin’s arms. Vivian watched Edwin with wary eyes.

She didn’t want to create another situation where she would lose her body in his arms.

“Don’t you think it’s utterly useless to avoid me? Miss Eveline.”

Contrary to her plea, he pulled once more with force, and Vivian’s body shook once again. As he let go of the skirt just like that, Vivian’s body moved two steps away due to the recoil.

Edwin burst into laughter as he directly gazed at the ashen eyes that were resisting. Vivian, who found her guilt in the blue eyes resembling the color of Lake Lanoa, only with the warmth of winter, immediately lowered her head.

His shoe-clad feet retreated. As the heavy air disappeared, Vivian, who was catching her breath, once again collapsed on the floor.

All day long, there were only incidents that made her legs give out.

*

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“How dare you!”

“How dare you make me love you, only to cast me aside as nothing more than a friend?!?

“I will never accept that.”

“I will never let you return to him.”

“Even if I have to burn myself to ashes.”

“Even if I must shatter my purity, my dignity, my very soul.”

“I will never let you escape me!”

This was the first novel that introduced me to the matriarchal genre. I’ve read it three times already!

At first, the male lead despised the female lead. Later, he misunderstood that she liked him, so he condescendingly and reluctantly reciprocated her feelings.

Then, he suddenly discovered that she was kind to everyone in the same way, and there was already someone she cherished in her heart, and that person was not him.

The male lead couldn’t believe it, he became angry and crazy. He was determined to capture her body and heart by any means necessary.

Synopsis:

Want to see how a green tea bitch male lead falls in love with the female lead?

Want to see how he flirtatiously pursues the female lead?

Want to see how he gets slapped in the face repeatedly?

The male lead is a green tea bitch, a poisonous lotus, jealous, ruthless, unscrupulous, with a venomous heart, and he’s also a delusional maniac.

The female lead is righteous, positive energy-filled, kind, a holy mother.

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_____

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