“He probably won’t come close to me, keeping his guard up.

Espen, who met my somewhat hostile gaze, smirked. Then, in a teasing manner, he asked, “You didn’t eat last night and this morning, right?”

Morning? I just tried to close my eyes for a moment out of frustration, and already the day had changed.

‘Just peacefully sleeping.’ I should have gone for a stroll outside the Baekok Palace in the deep night, but oh well.

I sighed through my nose, feeling pathetic. Espen asked with a concerned tone, “Are you trying to starve yourself to death?”

His worry in this situation was somehow amusing. I responded with a cynical smile, “It’s hard to die from starvation. You know that, right?”

“I know. Life is tougher than you think.”

Espen’s pupils became distant. It was a gaze digging into the distant past, a hundred years ago, that couldn’t be undone.

“I thought about giving up and just dying several times. There were many dangerous moments.”

Then, he suddenly looked down at me with a blissful smile.

“Every time, you caught me.”

Is he getting hooked on me? It was still difficult to understand. Espen and I back then had no emotional exchange that could be called love.

I raised my hand harshly, implying to remember that fact.

“I didn’t just catch you for no reason. I fulfilled my role.”

At my response, Espen’s face wrinkled. Frowning, he muttered, “Do you have to say it so bluntly?”

“No need to be affectionate.”

You’re not someone meaningful to me in that way. It was a reply filled with such intention.

“….”

Upon my words, Espen closed his mouth. Even if he wanted to retort, there would be nothing to say. There wouldn’t even be the tiniest memory of care between him and me.

Espen, who had been looking at me with displeasure for a moment, stood up and said, “Anyway, get up from the bed. And change out of those tacky clothes.”

I did get up from the bed for a moment. However, I shook my head at the suggestion of changing clothes.

“No. Tacky or not, they’re my clothes.”

Since I didn’t accept a single word, Espen made an annoyed expression.

“Why are you so obsessed with those rags?”

“Not rags, you know? And why are you clinging onto my clothes?”

“It reminds me of the clothes you wore on the battlefield.”

I wore much shabbier clothes on the battlefield. Certainly, when I first entered the battlefield, they were sparkling clean clothes, but after repeating war for several years, even the best-quality clothes couldn’t withstand it. Supplies were scarce, you know.

‘What’s wrong with these clothes? Is it because the colors aren’t vibrant?'”

(Note: Translating names from one language to another can sometimes result in different spellings or variations. Additionally, gender-specific pronouns may vary in English translations based on context.)
I pursed my lips and glanced at my sleeves. It was right at that moment. Espen, who had been persistently domineering, suddenly wore a mournful expression and said to me.

“I wanted to see you dressed like a princess. I had imagined how beautifully you would dress after the war. But you ended up dying.”

I didn’t know he had such thoughts about me. Feeling a prick in my heart, I could only purse my lips and couldn’t respond. Espen pleaded with me.

“It’s just a simple wish. Can’t you grant it?”

“…….”

It was true that it was a wish that could easily be granted. However, I felt the need to rebuke him. Not because changing into a new outfit was difficult, but to make it clear that it wasn’t my hope.

“I no longer long for dresses or the glamorous life of a princess. Even if I hadn’t died back then, it would have been the same. I just like these clothes because they are comfortable. And because they belong to me.”

Rather than receiving what you give, I want to use my own belongings.

In response to my answer, Espen twisted his face. After a moment of calming down his anger, he burst into a sharp laugh.

“Sure. You, who haven’t seen the world after death, can say that.”

Espen approached me again with heavy steps. Instinctively, I hunched my shoulders, fearing he might grab my collar. Espen looked down at me with excited eyes and said.

“It wasn’t the people living happily in a warm castle that made me fight on that battlefield. It wasn’t for them, but… it was for you.”

I bit my lip. Everything he was saying was so heavy. It made me doubt if I had truly stood on the same battlefield as him.

Espen, with a sad or angry expression, twisted his face and laughed.

“But in the end, you died like that. Would it be my selfish desire to want to see how you would have been if you were alive? Am I wrong because you don’t want it?”