…… What did I just hear?

Faced with Elaina’s sudden plea, Sinclair looked at her with a stony expression.

“I already know that you can’t help me. And…… I have even less desire to be a hindrance to you.”

Elaina continued in a breaking voice.

“So it’s…… alright if you take a woman from a powerful family as your empress.”

“…….”

“No matter what choice you make, I will always be here in this place.”

Only then did Sinclair realize.

The anxiety that Elaina had felt all day, the source of which was unknown……

“Judith went ahead and conveyed those words after all.”

It was because of Duke Frederick.

“Don’t scold the child.”

“…….”

“She deliberately told me for my sake.”

Yes, he knew. Judith wouldn’t have delivered such news to Elaina with any other intentions.

But he was angry.

The anger was not because of Judith and Duke Frederick, but directed at Sinclair himself.

“…… First, there were two reasons why I didn’t tell you about it.”

Sinclair, who had been silent for a long time as if trying to suppress his emotions, slowly moved his lips in a low voice.

“I thought you would fall into anxiety over such nonsensical words. And it wasn’t a story meaningful enough to tell you either.”

Elaina’s eyes, filled with Sinclair, wavered aimlessly.

“I didn’t hide it with the intention of deceiving you.”

Sinclair said as if spitting out the words with a subtly distorted face.

“And I have no intention of keeping the promise you mentioned at all.”

What was he trying to say now? Ironically, Elaina looked even more anxious than before, but Sinclair closed his mouth for a moment.

Then he reached out his hand, stroked her cheek, and said.

“The owner of the seat beside me is only you.”

“…….”

“No one but you can dare to covet the place beside me.”

“But Sinclair, I don’t wish for that much……”

“Even if you don’t wish for it, I do.”

At Sinclair’s uncompromisingly resolute voice, Elaina flinched slightly.

“I told you. I just need to become a strong emperor that no one can carelessly touch, and who doesn’t need anyone’s help.”

[I just need to become a stronger emperor. One who doesn’t need anyone’s help.]

“So, I will make sure no one can carelessly mention your existence either.”

[I might be pointed at and criticized because of you.]

“You are my only empress.”

“…….”

“From the beginning, there was no other option given to me but you, Elaina.”

Countless emotions swirled in Elaina’s blue eyes.

A subtle sense of relief that she would be able to fully keep his side after all.

Anxiety that Sinclair, who couldn’t even have a reliable empress because of her existence, might suffer some damage……

“Even if you advise me to take another woman as empress, I won’t listen.”

[I don’t care. No matter what anyone says, I won’t listen.]

…… Elaina finally realized. The person Sinclair was referring to in his words back then included her as well.

“I don’t need anyone else. So…… just stay by my side. Like this.”

It was a strange thing. For some reason, Sinclair looked like someone being chased by another person.

He had an even more anxious face than Elaina, who had heard what Duke Frederick said.

“Sinclair.”

Elaina looked at Sinclair silently for a moment, then slowly moved her lips.

“Is there something I don’t know?”

“…… What?”

Suddenly, Sinclair’s body visibly stiffened.

“If there is, I wish you would tell me honestly.”

“…….”

“Just as I have no secrets from you.”

…… Why, all of a sudden.

Why.

The anxiety that had been coiled up for a lifetime. But after confirming each other’s sincerity with Elaina, Sinclair’s anxiety, which had been relatively calm, finally opened its mouth wide as if to devour its owner.

And so, Sinclair just stared at Elaina, unable to put up any resistance as he was eaten up by the dark anxiety.

“…….”

Sinclair’s golden eyes, swaying like waves, could be seen. The fingers touching her cheek trembled slightly, and she could feel his breath becoming subtly rough.

So Elaina could vaguely know.

That her guess was correct.

“Elaina, I…….”

And only after a considerable amount of time had passed did Sinclair continue.

“…… I don’t want to lose you.”

It was like a confession.

“So…… ever since I confirmed your feelings, everything has started to feel frightening.”

“…….”

“Even though I know it’s utterly cowardly……”

She couldn’t understand.

What that secret was that Sinclair couldn’t even tell her.

And the reason he couldn’t say it.

But it was sad and painful to see Sinclair in front of her eyes, looking like he might crumble at any moment.

As if her heart was being burned.

She didn’t want to blame Sinclair.

If he just wasn’t ready to tell her his secret, she could wait as long as it took.

She also knew that this was the only thing Sinclair, who was looking at her pleadingly like this, needed right now.

“I understand.”

So Elaina gently stroked his cheek and replied.

“But know this, Sinclair. No matter what happens, you will never lose me.”

“…….”

“And that I will always be by your side, forever.”

You don’t know.

Elli, even the way you see me now is something I’ve squeezed out. A face I made to look as okay as possible.

There was no reason for Sinclair to be happy about having to hide the biggest truth from the person he should be most honest with.

But the thought of possibly losing Elaina, no, the thought that if she found out everything, if she realized that he was Len who had ruined her leg and left, he would certainly lose her, remained unchanged. Because that would be the truth.

…… Elaina’s cleverness was frightening.

Her kindness, which made him want more and more even in the midst of this, was terrifying.

Now, the thought of a life without Elaina was plunging Sinclair into a swamp of despair.

If, someday, you.

If you end up finding out my secret. And if you try to leave.

If you say you’ll leave no matter how much I beg, if you walk away without hesitation as you always have.

Then will I imprison you? Will I try to restrain you from going anywhere?

If you see this utterly ugly true self of mine, what will you say?

He wanted to shatter his heart that crumbled at even that simple question of whether there was something he didn’t know. Then he might be able to feel a little more at peace.

But unfortunately……

“It’s all right, Sinclair.”

“…….”

“Don’t be anxious.”

The owner of the heart he so wanted to shatter was Elaina.

So, ironically, Sinclair couldn’t hurt himself either.

“…….”

Sinclair slowly lowered his head. Then he held Elaina tightly beside him and buried his face in her chest.

As the sound of Elaina’s heart, close by, resonated in his ears, he felt his anxious heart gradually stabilizing. As if enchanted by magic.

I want to hear this sound forever. I want to have you completely. I wish you couldn’t live without me. I want to create a reason you can’t leave even if you come to curse me.

But if I do that, you will cry.

“Sinclair…….”

Feeling the kind and warm touch stroking his back, Sinclair squeezed his eyes shut instead.

The fear and anxiety that engulfed him like a tidal wave even when he was separated from her for a moment. And unable to control his obsession with Elaina.

No, pretending not to see it.

And so, Sinclair was slowly being consumed by madness.

Without even realizing it himself.

Slowly, but surely.

* * *

In Sinclair’s arms, holding her as if to trap her, Elaina fell asleep with difficulty.

The anxiety that kept rising despite it being their first night and having made love. And in the midst of that, the relief she felt from Sinclair’s words that he wouldn’t take any other woman as empress, which was quite pathetic.

She hoped that when she woke up, these completely mixed emotions would subside at least a little, but the situation remained the same even when morning came.

Elaina woke up and slowly sat up in bed. Sinclair was nowhere to be seen. Only a note, seemingly written with care, was left in the place he had guarded all night.

– It seems Duke Heswin has finally found the courage to face me. I’m just sorry and regretful that I can’t be by your side as you wake up. I’ll be back soon, so don’t worry about anything and rest well.

“…….”

– Yours, Sinclair.

Elaina unconsciously stroked the name written at the end over and over again. As if those words were a spell that could bring her peace.

…… But very fortunately, Elaina’s thoughts did not last long.

“Lady Elaina, you’re awake!”

“Judith.”

“I was just wondering if I should wake you up. You have visitors.”

“Visitors?”

“Lady Leggers and Young Lady Perin Ilaine. They arrived a little while ago.”

It was news that not just one, but two noisy people had come to see her at the same time.