“Give yourself to me, Sinclair.”

What did I just hear?

Sinclair’s expression as he looked at Elaina was dazed, as if enchanted by something.

“You have me……”

The hand slowly caressing Sinclair’s shoulder was desperately sorrowful.

“I have you.”

“……”

“I want to do that.”

Soon, Elaina’s white hand unhesitatingly removed the slip covering her delicate shoulders.

Elaina’s white skin, starkly exposed in the dazzling moonlight, captivated all senses. The clumsy kisses touching me again, the gentle sensation stroking my back, strangely felt sorrowful.

For a moment, it seemed like my vision turned white.

“Ah……”

Elaina, who was in Sinclair’s embrace, let out a short sound. It was because of Sinclair, who blankly stared for a moment, then laid me on the bed as if being chased, thirsting.

Elaina’s blue eyes, looking up at Sinclair who was positioned above her, were filled with various emotions.

“You……”

Sinclair continued in a low, cracking voice, as if groaning for some reason.

“You have no idea what you are saying right now.”

“……”

“So you don’t know…… how I will hold you either.”

Otherwise, how could you spit out such words to me so easily?

“It doesn’t matter.”

But Elaina answered with force.

“Have you…… never wanted to hold me?”

“……”

“Things like wanting to kiss me, embrace me, become one with me…… Have you never thought about it?”

If you say so, that would be a blatant lie.

Since the day I kept you by my side, has there been a single day I haven’t dreamed of it?

No, I’ve been dreaming of it for much longer. To make Elaina completely mine, to imprison her in my arms so she can’t go anywhere.

I wanted to hold her so desperately, pour out overflowing love, and make her utter only my name with elated breaths.

It was the same now as well.

Yet the reason he kept hesitating was……

“I’m scared.”

Sinclair muttered as if spitting out.

“I feel like I’ll break you.”

“Sinclair……”

“I feel like I’ll relentlessly drive you.”

No matter how much I endure and endure again, in the end, I won’t be able to be patient. The string of reason I’m barely holding onto will be severed forever and never reconnected.

“If that’s the conviction you can give me……”

A hand filled with warmth touched Sinclair’s angular cheek.

“Then do that for me. You promised. That you would do whatever I want.”

“……”

“I love you, Sinclair.”

Sinclair’s eyes, which had been biting his lips tightly as if fighting a battle alone, flickered ominously like shadows.

“Hold me……”

In an instant, it seemed like the sound of all reason stopping was heard.

“Mmph……”

As Sinclair thirstily kissed her, Elaina let out a short moan and held him tightly.

Soon, fingers incomparably clumsy pulled down the thin dress precariously hanging on her shoulders without hesitation. The hot breath left Elaina’s lips and slowly began to move, brushing her slender, long neck and collarbone.

Looking down at the red spots starting to be left like tattoos where his lips had departed, Elaina felt a shudder running through her entire body.

Over the blue eyes containing Sinclair, exploring the delicate skin now completely exposed without a shred, an inexplicable sorrowful emotion was revealed.

When you first uttered love to me and when you first hold me now, you haven’t changed at all, so why do I keep feeling this anxious?

……Sinclair, if I have you completely like this, will I be able to feel a little less anxious?

Perhaps this moment may be the beginning of another yearning?

But Elaina knew. She knew better than anyone else. Even if it turned out that way, she would not regret what happened today.

Because it wasn’t only Sinclair who had dreamed of the other.

“Elaina……”

Along with the hotly exhaled, elated breath, her name was heard in a low voice.

The golden eyes, gleaming ominously yet still filled with concern and consideration for her, kept making Elaina feel strange emotions.

If it means breaking in your arms, there would be nothing happier for me.

So I wish you would also break in my arms. So much that you can’t even feel a bit of leisure to consider me like this.

If I could have all your moments like that.

“Hurry……”

So Elaina whispered in a dreamy voice as if lost in a dream.

“Quickly…… Sinclair……”

The gaze that had become cloudy like a foggy dawn sky lingered on Elaina’s face for a moment.

Then lips met lips again……

Feeling his movements obtaining all of her and also placing all of himself in Elaina’s grasp, Elaina closed her eyes instead.

* * *

Before long, it was the blue dawn.

The only sound breaking the silence was the faint breathing of Elaina, who had fallen asleep as if fainted in his arms.

“……”

Slightly lowering his head, Sinclair endlessly gazed at Elaina’s face that had turned slightly pale.

……His worries had come true as if on display.

He had pushed and pushed precious Elaina to the limit countless times. But it was inevitable. Every time he felt her elated breath on his entire skin, strangely, impure emotions kept rising.

Just a little more here.

It was the greed and desire to want to obtain all of Elaina’s moments, even the appearances she herself didn’t know about, even just a little more.

Hearing Elaina’s voice mixed with moans, different from usual, as if in a dream, Sinclair thought countless times.

That they could never go back to how things were before.

That his selfishness towards Elaina would never disappear.

But it was strange.

Even though he thought he had given all of himself and taken all of Elaina, his anxiety wouldn’t easily go away. No, it seemed to only intensify.

Even though we touched flesh to flesh and I endlessly stayed inside you, I still haven’t obtained you.

“……I wish you couldn’t do anything without me.”

Sinclair muttered in a cracking voice.

“So you couldn’t even run away.”

I wish you couldn’t even dare to leave me.

“Then…… would I be less anxious than now……”

However, such a thing would not happen.

The Elaina reflected in Sinclair’s eyes was still someone who could run off anywhere.

Someone who could abandon everything like that, cut through the wind, and suddenly leave to find her own world. Even if Sinclair himself was included in all of that.

……Once, Mother had told young me. That to view flowers, you shouldn’t forcibly pluck them, but watch them as they bloom. Just like in that diary I read together with Elaina at the villa.

In the end, I haven’t grown at all since then. Not having the broad generosity to quietly watch over you blooming alone, I end up thinking I’d rather pluck you and trap you in my arms.

Even though I’m not unaware that you will wither if I do that, I dare to.

Once awakened, the desire wouldn’t easily subside. No, it might have only just begun. Then, will I eventually pluck you like I did then? Even if you wither, if you’re only in my arms, wouldn’t you be completely mine?

Sinclair smiled bitterly.

“……Sinclair.”

At Elaina’s voice uttered quietly, Sinclair flinched slightly. Then he slowly looked down at Elaina, who was opening her eyes.

“……”

Elaina didn’t say anything for a moment. Unlike when she was in Sinclair’s arms, she only faced him with calm eyes.

Sinclair wasn’t the only one who thought they could never go back to how things were before.

Elaina was the same.

However, there was one thing that didn’t change. The bitter self-awareness that it would be of no help to Sinclair was just that, and the anxiety that still didn’t disappear was also that.

“Elaina……”

Slowly lowering his head, Sinclair placed his forehead against Elaina’s protruding forehead. Then he held her tightly in his arms and didn’t move for a moment.

He would smile as if it was nothing. While hiding the ugly desire to forcibly pluck her that kept welling up.

……Even if he didn’t know how long that patience could last.

So Sinclair slowly lifted his lips while suppressing his emotions.

No, to be precise, he tried to lift them.

If it wasn’t for Elaina, who called his name first.

“Sinclair.”

“No matter what choice you make, it’s alright with me.”

Sinclair looked down at Elaina with shaking eyes for a moment.

“Because your dream is now my dream as well. But……”

But.

Elaina seemed to hesitate for a moment, then slowly closed her eyes tightly and opened them.

Then, with eyes even more teary than when she was in his arms, she spoke as if spitting it out to him.

“I want to be the only one.”

“……”

“At least the concubines.”

“……What?”

“I know it too. That you have to take a woman with a background as the empress. And that you have to spend time like today with…… the newly taken empress as well.”

If she truly had no feelings, she wouldn’t have revealed her inner thoughts so miserably like this. She would have just endured it. It was something Elaina was the best at in the world, and at the same time, it was also the most familiar thing to her.

However, now she couldn’t do that anymore.

“Still, promise me. That the person you truly love……”

Not knowing what kind of repercussions the words she was uttering would bring……

“The person who completely has you…… will only be me. Forever, from now on.”

Elaina looked at Sinclair as if pleading.