The Savior Who Bites My Neck - Chapter 32

It was the beginning of summer, with sunlight beating down intensely.

A summer from sometime in the past that was historically hot even in Edenbell, where winters are freezing cold but summers don’t get too hot thanks to that.

And this summer, Sinclair remembered with painfully vivid clarity.

But it wasn’t just because that year’s summer was excessively sweltering.

“Sinclair.”

A voice so familiar.

And so missed, quietly settled down.

Sinclair in the dream slowly turned his head.

Then he looked at the young crown prince, and the Empress of Edenbell holding her son tightly.

No, he looked at his mother.

“My son. Your face is a mess. What happened?”

“……”

“Tell mother. Who knows? I might be able to solve it like magic.”

Despite his mother’s kind and gentle words, young Sinclair gave no reply. He just cried sadly but quietly while held in her warm embrace.

“Don’t you know how much it breaks my heart to see you cry like this, Sinclair?”

“Sob……”

“If you’re not doing this on purpose to hurt mother’s feelings, be honest and tell me, darling.”

“W-Well……”

Perhaps not wanting to hurt his mother, young Sinclair’s small lips finally parted with stammering words.

“I just… heard mean things… and got upset so I cried……”

“Mean things? What kind of things?”

“Well… Yuria’s maids… insulted you, mother……”

“What did they say?”

“That you’ve fallen out of favor with father… I mean, His Majesty, so you’ll be driven out soon in disgrace……”

Young Sinclair continued, pouring out his distress.

“That Yuria is monopolizing all of His Majesty’s affection, so even though you’re the mother, you won’t last long… that you might even d-die……”

Unfortunately, the mother and son – the Empress and Crown Prince – were in such a poor position that they had to openly hear such talk even from mere servants. A candle flame before a fierce wind that could go out at any moment. That was their position in the imperial palace.

After the Empress entered the palace, Yuria, who caught the Emperor’s eye, used all sorts of tricks to steal his heart, blind his eyes, and block his ears.

“I see.”

At her beloved son’s words spoken with difficulty, the Empress did not get angry. Instead, she slowly patted his small back and gently wiped away the tears covering his small white face.

“But Sinclair, I won’t be driven out, nor will I fail to endure.”

And she spoke with a somewhat firm voice.

“Of course, I absolutely won’t die either. At least not while leaving you alone.”

“Mother……”

“Also remember. No matter how nastily they may speak ill of me, those are just words about me, not about you.”

“What……?”

“Who is my son, the shining Crown Prince of Edenbell? And who will be the next Emperor?”

The Empress asked with a smile, but young Sinclair couldn’t easily answer. He just slightly lifted his head and looked around to see if anyone was passing by……

“It’s you, isn’t it? Sinclair Butler. Right?”

The Empress, sensing her son’s feelings, held his small face as if telling him to look at her and said.

“That fact will never change, no matter what happens in the future. So you should have plenty of pride. It’s not your fault to be intimidated by adults’ words, but you’re far too precious for that.”

Do you understand what I mean?

At his mother’s words, young Sinclair held back his tears and nodded. Yet pitifully, with each nod, tears that had pooled in his golden eyes fell drop by drop.

Sinclair, watching his younger self, made an expression that was neither smiling nor crying.

“Shall we sleep together tonight, Sinclair? Mother will read you storybooks until late, and tell you interesting stories too. How about that? And tomorrow let’s go on an outing for the first time in a while. The sun may be hot, but it will be fun.”

“O-Okay.”

As if his tearful mood from earlier had never happened, young Sinclair’s expression quickly softened. The Empress hugged her son tightly to her chest again, as if finding him utterly lovable.

Then, without her son noticing, she let out a heavy sigh.

“…Yes. It was very fun, mother.”

Eventually, Sinclair in the dream slowly spoke words he couldn’t reach back then.

“The storybooks were interesting, and the stories you told were fun too.”

“But somehow I was too shy to say it.”

Sinclair murmured wistfully.

“Come, Sinclair. Let’s hurry and have dinner, and take a bath too. The night seems long but is actually quite short, so time passes quickly. We also need to prepare for our outing tomorrow, right?”

“Yes, mother. I’ll be sure to help too.”

Mother and son started walking towards the Empress’s palace, holding hands tightly.

“If only……”

And Sinclair, left alone standing in front of the flower garden, said in a low voice.

“If only I had known that night would be our last peaceful time together, I would have spoken honestly.”

That it was truly a happy day.

That it was all thanks to mother.

Uttering words that now held no meaning, Sinclair squeezed his eyes shut.

After no small amount of time passed, when he opened his eyes again.

Sinclair was in the middle of the night.

And standing at the edge of a cliff he knew all too well.

At the bottom of the sheer cliff, a river black as the night sky could be seen rolling.

……The Hilden River.

It was the name of the river infamous in Edenbell for being the deepest and having such rapid currents that if one drowned, not even the body could be recovered.

In front of the precipice were the wreckage of a carriage that had been brutally destroyed in an attack, dead guard knights bleeding out, and corpses of soldiers sent by Yuria strewn about.

“Ugh……”

The one who emerged from the broken debris, bleeding from his head, was young Sinclair. The boy groaned painfully and panted, then staggered to his feet.

“M-Mother!”

Then he began searching for his mother.

“Where… where are you… Mother……”

Unlike now, Sinclair’s much thinner voice trembled.

“Sinc… lair……”

And the Empress’s voice came from right behind Sinclair in the dream.

In front of the sheer cliff.

She was barely hanging on at the edge of the precipice.

“Mother!”

Only then belatedly discovering the Empress, young Sinclair screamed and ran towards the cliff.

“I’ll, I’ll save you!”

Young Sinclair, lying flat on the dirty ground, looked at the Empress with a pale face.

“Are you… alright……?”

The Empress asked.

“Your head… is bleeding, Sinclair……”

“……”

“Are you really okay……?”

“I’m fine! What’s important now isn’t me……”

To the panicking young Sinclair, the Empress, also covered in blood, smiled a bit sadly.

Sinclair in the dream, looking down at her, also smiled sadly.

“Sinclair, you must remember well what I’ve told you.”

“What……?”

“You are the Crown Prince of Edenbell, and that fact will never change no matter what happens.”

“……”

“Even if I’m not here.”

“W-What are you saying!”

Young Sinclair cried out as if wailing.

“I’ll pull you up, so just hold on a little longer. It’s not difficult. We can definitely do it.”

A small, white hand trembled as it reached out.

The Empress silently looked at her son’s hand, then smiled once more.

“I love you so much, Sinclair.”

And then she spoke again in her still warm voice.

“Always remember that.”

At last she stretched out her hand.

But it was not a hand reaching out to receive help from her young son.

It was just a desperate desire to feel the warmth of her beloved son one last time.

And so the Empress briefly grasped young Sinclair’s hand tightly, then quickly let go.

And she sank into the pitch-black river with a loud splash, never to surface again.

Even now.

“Ah, ah……”

As if unable to accept what had happened before his eyes, young Sinclair made a strange sound that was hard to tell whether it was a scream or a groan.

“I, I let go. I let go.”

A trembling voice settled on the now quiet cliff.

“I, I could have, could have sa-saved. Mo-mother. Be-because of me. She died.”

……I killed mother.

Young Sinclair screamed for help, then slammed his head into the ground over and over like a madman, then frantically scratched at the bloody tears that kept blurring his vision and wetting his face with his fingernails……

Before long, he passed out just like that.

“……”

Sinclair looked at the collapsed Sinclair and thought to himself.

If only I had died together with her then, would it have been better somehow?

Would it have been less painful?

Would it have been less sad?

Would it have hurt less?

Then your legs wouldn’t have been ruined either, would they?

“Hello.”

And as if a lie, a young voice was heard over the brightened view.

“What are you doing here alone?”

And blue eyes appeared, looking at young Sinclair sitting with his knees pulled up, his face covered in scratch marks as if mauled by a beast.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“……”

“Um… I’m Elaina Aswald.”

“……”

“Nice to meet you.”

Young Elaina greeted him with a bright smile like the sun.

Despite being in just as much of a mess as the boy in front of her.