Sinclair just stared at Elaina, unable to give any proper answer to that unexpected affectionate title.

“I’m sorry.”

“…What?”

“It was all my fault for being inadequate. I’m really sorry.”

Elaina, who blurted out the apology, already had a lump in her throat. She seemed like she would burst into tears at any moment, and started to continue speaking in a trembling voice.

“I should have trusted you more.”

“……”

“But it wasn’t that I only hated you. I missed you like crazy. Every single day since we parted in that valley, always.”

Perhaps the other name for the resentment she had towards Ren was longing.

If she really just hated Ren for the reason that he broke her leg and ran away, she wouldn’t have gone back to that valley day after day with a limp.

She wouldn’t have worried so much about whether Ren was badly hurt.

She wouldn’t have thought that if he came back, she would tell him it was okay.

Sometimes, some longings are so strong and intense that they end up stealing the disguise of other emotions and gnawing at the heart.

Just like how Ellie felt about Ren.

“…It’s not you who should apologize.”

And Sinclair slowly shook his head and said.

“In the end, I was the one who broke your leg and ran away leaving you alone. That fact will never change. So you don’t have to be sorry to me at all. No, you mustn’t be.”

How can you go this far every time?

Why do you always take on the role of being the target of my resentment, as if you committed a great sin, struggling in front of me?

Elaina looked at Sinclair for a moment without saying anything.

“I just…wanted to.”

Sinclair also seemed to face Elaina quietly, then continued speaking with a slight tremor in his fingertips.

“I wanted to see you again. Like you said, I missed you like crazy too. I wanted to hear your voice calling my name, I wanted to see your brightly smiling face. Just like you, every single day. It was so painful that I thought it would be better if I died.”

“……”

“I wasn’t unaware that it was greed, that it was deceiving you. But I couldn’t help it. I felt like you would leave me if you found out I was Ren…”

Sinclair’s voice cracked miserably.

Elaina silently looked at Sinclair, who had slightly bowed his head, and only after a considerable time had passed did she part her lips again.

“…Why didn’t you tell me? That you were being chased. That your life could be in danger if you didn’t run away right then.”

As if he thought there was no way Elaina could know that fact, Sinclair flinched greatly.

“So about that day… I could have told you that it wasn’t your fault.”

“…My mother died by falling into the Hilden River.”

“……”

“It was because of the assassins Yuria sent. And I was there with her.”

Come to think of it, she couldn’t remember Sinclair talking about the former empress in such detail.

Of course, she knew that what young Ren was looking for was his mother’s body, but…

“I told my mother, who was barely clinging to the cliff, that I could save her. That I would definitely save her no matter what.”

Sinclair gave a weak bitter smile.

“Mother… left me with the words that she truly loves me, and to never forget that… She briefly held my hand tightly one last time, and then let go.”

“……”

“I blamed myself for a long time. That mother died because of me. That this happened because I couldn’t save her. I don’t think that way now, and I’m not unaware that it was mother’s choice to somehow save me, but I did back then.”

Yes, and then he met the dazzling Ellie. The lovely girl who embraced him warmly like the spring sunshine.

But…

“When I saw you reaching out to me for help with your foot crushed by a rock… I had that thought. What if I let go this time too? What if you die because of me?”

“……”

“You’re right. If I hadn’t run away like that then, we both could have died. But that’s just rationalization. I was definitely scared then, and I ran away leaving you.”

Sinclair gave a bitter smile with a miserable expression.

“I could have asked for forgiveness saying those words. But I didn’t want to be that cowardly to you. You… would have told me that it was true, that it couldn’t be helped. That it wasn’t your fault, Ren. I knew that, so I couldn’t do it all the more.”

What answer could I give to bring you even a little comfort? To lessen the guilt you carried alone like a punishment?

“…We were young.”

Elaina pondered for a moment, then tightly grasped Sinclair’s hand. Then, still facing him with his gaze lowered, she told him.

“We were young, clumsy, and we both always lived in fear as if being chased by someone. Even if you say you had no choice but to do that because of these circumstances, no one can say it’s rationalization.”

“……”

“No, I would be the only person in the world who could say that. But I won’t say that to you. Instead…”

Elaina reached out her arms and tightly embraced Sinclair.

As if comforting the young Ren.

“I’ll hug you like this.”

“And I’ll always be by your side whenever you’re in pain. So… don’t torment yourself anymore.”

I thought I could never be forgiven by you. That you would resent and hate me for the rest of your life.

Thinking that every day, he carved his own heart that was already full of wounds with his own hands.

But the moment he was embraced in Elaina’s warm arms, Sinclair realized.

That those long, long days were coming to an end.

And that he could finally let go of his younger self whom he wanted to kill…

For Sinclair, this small and fragile embrace that couldn’t even fully wrap around his body was his only salvation.

And this embrace would never leave Sinclair alone, forever and always.

“I like you.”

Elaina’s eyes, smiling affectionately at Sinclair, were now filled with transparent tears.

“Even after so much time has passed, and so many things have happened.”

“……”

“And it will continue to be so in the future.”

“When you said that then, I also wanted to answer that I felt the same. That I liked you a lot too…”

Sinclair also answered, trying hard to hold back his tears.

“I didn’t know I would say it only today.”

“……”

“I still love you very much too. Since this is all I know how to do, it won’t change at all even after I die.”

Feeling the warmth of Sinclair tightly embracing her, just as she did to him… Elaina thought.

Even if branches break in the wind and storms, can a tree not love the sun?

Can it resent why it couldn’t protect it, why it made it this way?

No, it wouldn’t be like that. Even if countless branches get broken, the tree would continue to admire and love the sun. Just like how she was now.

“From now on…”

So Elaina hugged his neck and whispered softly in his ear.

“I want to do many things. No, I will do them. Sinclair… with you. Everything we couldn’t do back then.”

“Like what…?”

“Walk peacefully holding hands, laugh exaggeratedly at trivial things, and also cry just the same.”

“Yes. Alright. Let’s do that.”

Sinclair answered with a soft smile, even as he shed silent tears.

“I can do anything for you.”

“……”

“If it’s with you. If you want, I can even give up the emperor’s position. I mean it.”

“…Still, you can’t say that.”

Elaina, startled by Sinclair’s words, slightly pulled away and said.

“You can’t. After how you got here.”

“But I’m serious.”

“What?”

“The reason I tried to become emperor as soon as possible wasn’t for any other reason. I just thought that if I gained power, if I had complete authority… I could protect you safely, and it would be harder for you to leave me.”

“……”

“But now I won’t be anxious like I was then. You told me. That you’ll definitely stay by my side. So now I don’t really need to be emperor…”

“Oh my.”

He was really an incorrigible man. If other people heard it, it wouldn’t be strange at all for them to exclaim what nonsense that was.

But she didn’t dislike Sinclair’s words like that. Because she knew now.

That at the base of Sinclair’s actions, struggling to keep her by his side while trembling with anxiety and fear, was ultimately his sincere heart for her.

So, Elaina didn’t nag anymore. She laughed softly, and Sinclair, who had been staring at Elaina, also burst into laughter with a slightly flushed face.

And so the two laughed for a long time, facing each other.

Just like how Ellie and Ren did long ago in that valley.