At my desperate plea, Elaina barely managed to answer after a not-so-short time had passed.

“Alright.”

“……”

“What is the story that I ought to know?”

…… I still did not want to hear the story about Sinclair right now.

But I didn’t expect Glen to come out with such a humble attitude. And there’s more to the story that I don’t know?

Of course, even if I heard it, my sense of betrayal and anger towards Sinclair didn’t seem like it would subside. No, it definitely wouldn’t.

However, I was curious. What story did that person want to convey to me so badly?

What exactly was it, that he confidently said I must know?

“…… You’ve asked before. How I, as a priest, became close with sir Sinclair. On the day of the ceremony.”

Yes, I remember asking that at some point. Because I couldn’t understand how someone from a temple hostile to Sinclair ended up officiating the wedding.

[It wasn’t anything special. Just that a long time ago, I owed a debt to sir Sinclair.]

And Glen had given a vague answer.

“As you may know, Lady Elaina, the priests of Edenbell have a custom in their first year as a priest. They walk the battlefields and help ensure the minds of our soldiers do not become lax or desolate.”

“……”

“I met sir Sinclair on the battlefield as well.”

A remorseful look rose on Glen’s face as he recalled the past.

“To me, who had lived like a frog in a well praying all my life, the battlefield was literally no different from hell.”

The screams of people that seemed to tear at the ears, echoing like a refrain no matter how much time passed and passed again.

Soldiers bleeding red blood from severed arms, legs, or necks as they died.

The teary eyes looking at me as if I, a mere low-ranking priest, was a god, begging for blessings and peace. The blood-stained hands grabbing my ankles. Their wailing.

“The more time passed…… the more it was so.”

The emotions Glen felt when he first set foot on the battlefield were fear and dread.

On the second battlefield, it was sorrow and pain.

On the third battlefield, it was anger and resentment towards god.

And on the fourth battlefield where he met Sinclair……

“At some point, I thought I had been deceived.”

…… only desolation and emptiness overwhelmed Glen.

“That there is no such thing as a god.”

Glen said with a powerless smile.

“Otherwise, how could this happen?”

Despite being called the messenger of god. Despite becoming a priest to pray for everyone’s happiness and peace.

Nevertheless, there was nothing I could do. No matter how hard I tried, people kept dying in agony. Glen could not save a single one.

“Then I met sir Sinclair. To be exact, I saw him collapse with a sword stabbed into his side.”

It went without saying. The death of Sinclair, the commander, would directly impact the outcome of the war. Glen hurriedly moved Sinclair to the tent with Schuler and the knights.

“His condition was so bad, I thought he would eventually pass away.”

Those brilliant golden eyes would eventually lose their color and go out. And I would again be unable to do anything but offer futile prayers in front of him.

With that sense of defeat, I may have cried without realizing it.

“But from somewhere, he mustered the strength to grab my collar and say:”

But Sinclair roughly grabbed his collar. Then he said threateningly:

“If you’re a priest, do a priest’s job. You may not be able to heal me, but at least pray.”

“……”

“So I said there is no god. If there was, Your Highness would not have collapsed like this.”

At those words, Sinclair did not answer for a moment. He just stared at the tearful Glen as if glaring…

“But then he said this. The moment I abandon my god, that’s when it all ends.”

He said in an unwaveringly resolute voice:

“I have believed in my god and come this far, so you too, don’t run away like a coward and pray to your god with all your heart. Otherwise, I will kill both you and your god.”

How foolish of him. Glen chuckled.

“Even as I prayed, I did not think sir Sinclair would recover. But sir Sinclair laid there for about half a day, then immediately went back out to fight. And we were victorious.”

“……”

“So I asked out of curiosity. What great god does Your Highness believe in, that allows you to survive like this each time without dying? How are you able to sound the victory report every time? Then he said…”

To Glen’s question dripping with doubt, Sinclair replied:

“My guilt and hope. My lifelong bond and lifelong nemesis. Nevertheless, a certain woman who holds my everything in her grasp.”

The lifelong bond part referred to me, and the lifelong nemesis part to Elaina. Glen now perfectly understood Sinclair’s words.

“He also said he can’t believe in any other gods. Then he said again. If no matter how hard you try, nothing changes, do what you can do now. I’m doing that too, he said.”

[Does that have meaning? If you put in that effort, will something really change someday?] [Nobody knows that.]

“Even those words, when I couldn’t accept them and dared to blame him, he said to me who was drenched in a sense of defeat and powerlessness, that even if you don’t do that, your life will be fully soaked in shame towards yourself and a sense of humiliation that will eat away at you. This too, he said from his own experience.”

That’s when it began.

When Glen, who had been consumed by a sense of defeat and powerlessness, made up his mind to live as a true priest.

“I said I owed sir Sinclair a very big debt. So big that even if I am bound my whole life trying to repay it, it wouldn’t be enough. The words I said then were not a lie. If not for sir Sinclair’s advice, I would still be living hurting myself.”

Elaina did not answer.

She just imagined. Sinclair bleeding over and over yet holding on to life with all his might thinking of her. Recalling his words that he couldn’t even die.

“Glen.”

“Yes, Lady Elaina.”

“So…… what am I supposed to say in response to your words?”

…… But even so, the pain in my heart shattered like shards of glass and the broken trust would not return to how it was before.

“That I pity Sinclair who fought alone thinking of me as a god?”

“……”

“Or that now that I know his true feelings, I’ll forget my resentment?”

“No, that’s not what I meant by telling you this.”

Glen slowly shook his head and spoke again in a serious voice.

“I just thought you should know.”

“Know what?”

“That the boy Ren, on the day he lost the girl Elli, was forever trapped unable to take a single step.”

And Elaina belatedly realized.

That Glen knew all about her and Sinclair’s past.

“So he couldn’t die and survived, lived his whole life tormented by guilt, rotting his own life and heart thinking only of her, only of you Lady Elaina. With the guilt of ruining your life, he took you out of the Aswald family by any means necessary, but…… from then on, along with the guilt, another emotion blossomed.”

Glen continued speaking.

“Not even knowing what love is, while being swayed by that powerful emotion and at a loss for what to do, in the end, like he had his whole life, he made the foolish choice of taking everything on himself alone so as not to lose you…… That’s what I mean. He must have thought of only one thing. How to avoid losing you, Lady Elaina, no matter what.”

“……”

“But wondering when you would find out the whole truth. When you would abandon him and leave. He must have lived each day anxiously enduring that. Even knowing that anxiety would devour him like a monster, he must have willingly chosen to endure it.”

The arms that held me tight as if trapping me while trembling with anxiety, the burning warmth that seeped out from within them came to mind.

It’s not that I didn’t understand Glen’s words. I knew what he was trying to say. But even so, my pain did not go away.

No, it may have been more painful precisely because I understood Sinclair’s heart.

“I won’t force anything. I don’t even have the right to. The choice is always up to you, Lady Elaina.”

If even knowing all these feelings, your resentment and love-hate don’t disappear, that can’t be helped either.

But Glen prayed with all his heart. He prayed with more strength than when he had offered prayers while walking the battlefields.

That these two pitiful people could find peace in each other in the end.

“…… This is everything I wanted to tell you.”

So that they could ultimately become happy.

“Judith and Anna said you should rest, so I will take my leave now. But Lady Elaina….. Please, I hope you don’t make a choice you will regret. For your own sake as well.”

That was the end. Glen really got up from his seat, bowed respectfully, and quickly left.

And Elaina, left alone in the room, bowed her head endlessly shedding tears for a reason she couldn’t determine – whether due to the resentment that still remained clear, or sadness for Sinclair who was foolish to the end.